Before We Knew

by Wasowski, Mary

  “Ben, have I made a mistake here?”

  I looked back at Van, who didn’t look all that confident from a few minutes ago. “Just a wild guess here, but was it CGI by any chance?” His face was a dead giveaway. “Good luck, mate. You’re going to need it.” And without another word, I slammed the door and turned to give my buddy Van the big sod off.

  I got into my car and slammed my hands on the steering wheel. “Mother fucker bastard!” I shouted and then leaned my head back on the headrest. My phone vibrated, and I saw it was Peter calling. “Hey, thanks for calling me back. I need you, Peter, and what I have to say will not wait.”

  “I figured. When you mentioned your father, I knew it had to be bad, so I’m here for you.”

  “Here? As in…North Carolina?”

  “Yes, I just arrived. Are you free now? I can come to you?”

  I rattled off my address and peeled out of the parking garage toward Cary. I knew Hallie would be gone for most of the day, so I would have some privacy with Peter. It wouldn’t matter if she came home early, but I would rather talk with him first before I include her in another conversation about my father. After the stunt he pulled today, I am going to do everything possible to rid Oliver Chapel from my life and Hallie’s.

  “This is a lovely home, very quaint,” Peter said as he looked around.

  “Thank you, we like it. Can I offer you anything to drink?”

  “Scotch and soda would be wonderful.”

  “Sorry, the butler hasn’t had a chance to stock the bar yet.”

  “How about water instead?”

  “Perfect, I’ll be right back,” I said and then retrieved two bottles of water from the fridge, handing Peter one. I took a seat across from him and didn’t want to put off another minute of this conversation.

  “So, Peter, let me have it: Am I cut off? When is my car going to be picked up? And what about the cabin in Asheville?”

  “Relax, nothing like that is happening or going to happen. The cabin is yours and paid for. When your father gifted it to you, he also set up an account with monies in it to cover expenses which includes the taxes. You’re fine, and if you choose to ever sell the place, the market has been very profitable for sellers. You would do very well and come out on top.”

  “Good to know, but we love it and don’t plan to sell it, at least not right now. And what about the car?”

  “Again, it’s yours and paid for. The same goes for your personal bank accounts. He can huff and puff all he wants, but those accounts were specifically designed to protect you for the future. This is why you are not able to draw from them and take what you want. It’s my job to disperse an allowance and provide monies for anything you need. I am aware you have opened personal savings and checking accounts here, which is completely yours to do with.”

  “Wow! There is nothing you don’t know about me, right, Peter?”

  “Ben, please don’t add me to the same category as your father. I am not the bad guy here. I got on a plane the minute I heard your message.”

  “I’m sorry, Peter. It’s been a hard day. I lost a job that I was looking forward to beginning soon, and then I find out the reason behind it.”

  “What happened?”

  “My father. He happened. He bought the company and told them not to bring me on board. So, I’m out before I was really in. I worked really hard interning there, and when they hired me, it was an amazing day. I was so proud of myself for accomplishing this on my own, and to have it just pulled out from under me pisses me the fuck off. What’s it going to take for him to leave me alone?”

  “Do you really want to know? Because it’s the simplest solution to resolve all of this between you and your father.”

  “I’m not moving back to London. My life is here with Hallie, and I want nothing else to do with him. He has been the driving force behind every single problem I have had with Hallie, and I’m done. We beat the odds and are stronger for it. He is a toxic force, and if I have to build a wall around my girl, I will, Peter. I have to protect her from him.”

  “Ben, is this really a surprise to you? I mean, seriously? He works incredibly hard and is very good at what he does. You are his only child. It doesn’t get better than having a son. He loves you, Ben, and although it may not seem that way to you, it is to him.”

  “No! You’re wrong, Peter. All he does is love himself and does what is best for Oliver Chapel, not me, not my mother, no one. Are you on his side or mine? Because I need someone to give a fuck about me for once and not about his goddamn feelings. Yeah, we both got dealt a shitty hand with mom being sick and all she has to suffer with. However, those problems probably existed way before I was even born. I may have not understood when I was younger and growing up, but I sure as hell do now. My eyes are open, and they see who my father really is. Please don’t waste both our time and try to convince me otherwise. He is responsible for me losing that job. Is he going to buy every company I apply to?”

  “Let’s take a breath. Come on, Ben, sit down and listen.”

  As far as I was concerned, I was pretty much done with the conversation with Peter, because clearly, he was on my father’s side. This was a mistake inviting him here, and I never should have called him. I sat down reluctantly, but I didn’t have anything else to say.

  “Ben, look at me and stop behaving like an adolescent. Do you want to be treated like a man? Behave as one and listen.” I sighed and turned to face him. He continued, “The tragedy that happened with Hallie’s mother and yours was undoubtedly the most horrific thing to ever happen in all your lives. It’s something you say you have accepted, but have you? I see the anger all over your face, and, without a doubt, I know it runs deep within you. He’s your father, and whether you care to admit it or not, he’s the only one you’re going to get. You are more like him than you realize, and maybe that’s part of the problem.”

  “You can’t be serious? I am nothing like my father.” I raged on and picked up a vase, smashing it against the wall.

  Peter got up and picked up his things before putting his hand on my shoulder. My body was shaking, and the adrenaline was all too consuming. “You sure about that? You have my number, and I’ll be staying at my usual hotel, but only for the next two days.” He left me on my own in a pile of shattered glass. Great! It matches exactly how I feel.

  I must have stayed in the same spot for over an hour until my cell brought me back into the present, and I was happy to see it was Hallie calling.

  “Baby, how are you?” I asked.

  “I miss you,” she answered back. “And I’m just great. The girls are great and talking my ear off. They are packed and ready to go on their epic road trip to California. I was going to say my goodbyes here but now they want to go out for one last girls’ day and a little into the night before taking off in the morning. Would you mind if I stay a little longer?”

  “You never have to ask to be with your friends. Yes, go have fun and give them my love. Just shoot me a text when you’re on your way home.”

  “Perfect, I won’t be too late. How’s your day going? Is it good so far?”

  “Yup! Couldn’t be better.” I gave her my love and ended the call. “You fucking liar!” I shouted out and then began to clean up the mess I created. First, I would begin with the glass and then fix the other mess with Peter.

  When I finally got up the nerve to show up at his hotel, it was getting close to dinner and I didn’t show up empty-handed. I picked up enough take-out to feed an army. I was hoping it would be enough to get me inside the door. I knocked several times and never thought to call first. I just thought he would be here. I turned to leave, and then the door swung opened, and he popped his head out. He was wearing a robe, and his hair was wet.

  “Hey,” he said surprised and then moved aside so I could enter. “I take the food is an apology?”

  “It’s a start. Thanks for not slamming the door in my face.”

  “Never. It’s a good one, and the plastic surge
ry bills would ruin me. I’m glad you stopped by. I’m hungry. You set the table, and I’ll go get dressed.” As we sat together to eat, he said, “This is delicious. I do love American cuisine. You can’t get a burger like this in London.”

  “You can, but you are a snob and only eat burgers when you’re with me. Now, can I apologize before you finish off the fries?”

  “Go on,” he said and laughed at my expense.

  “I’m sorry, and you were spot on for calling me out. I had a tantrum and refused to really listen to the one person who has always had my back. I am angry, and sometimes the feelings take hold, and I completely lose control of my common sense. He is the only one that can bring this behavior out in me. To be honest, I hate it.”

  “Let me ask you a question, Ben, and please be truthful. What do you hate more? The fact that you allowed your father to get under your skin? Or do you just hate your father? And it doesn’t matter what he says or does, because hate is hate?”

  “I don’t hate him,” I sighed and held my face in my hands. “I hate what he’s done. I hate that he interfered with my work. I hate how he is still controlling my life. I hate that my mother is sick. And, most of all, I hate how he pushed me aside and didn’t let me see her. I hate this, right here, I hate that I can get upset over two bloody questions.”

  I couldn’t hold back any more tears and just let the storm of emotions spill out of me.

  Peter let me have my minute and then wrapped his arm around my shoulder and help me through it. “Ben, you have every right to feel the way you do. It’s justified, and no one understands it more than I do. No, probably your father gets it more. He’ll never tell you, but I have a feeling he does.”

  “So, what do I do with that?” I scoffed and then wiped my eyes.

  “You need to go see him. It’s the only way out, Ben. You need to make him see you for the man you are and show him that you are going to be okay.”

  “What does that mean? I’m great, Peter.”

  “He doesn’t know that and needs to hear it from you, and you need to make him believe it. This is not just about you, it’s about your mom too. He bought Innovate to make you come home, and clearly, it failed. Ben, come back with me, and go see your father. If the talks go south, at least you can’t say you didn’t give it a real shot at trying to resolve the issues between you. And here’s something else you should know…” he paused. “Your mother has returned home.”

  30

  We are in this together

  Hallie…

  “I’m telling you, Ben, you should see the amount of crap they packed in the U-Haul for the epic trip across the country. Maggie volunteered to be the first driver, and then it was an all-alpha fight over which boyfriend would drive next. I swear when they all get together, it’s just crazy. And you know what else is crazy?”

  “No, but I’m sure you are going to tell me.”

  “Hey! Am I talking too much? I guess I’m just excited for them and wanted to share all the good and happy news with you,” I said as I climbed into bed and snuggled close to my man.

  “And I love hearing it. So, go on.”

  “Okay, the girls mentioned that they might be interested in transferring and staying out in California.”

  “Good for them. It’s a bold move, and I hope it works out.”

  “No! Then I’ll never see them, and you know I love Maggie and Marina.”

  “I do know, but we have planes and you can visit.”

  “True, you’re right. So, how did you spend your day?” I asked as Ben held me close after some hot shower sex. He was so excited to see me when I walked through the door, I barely was able to drop my keys before he carried me upstairs to our bedroom.

  “A few things actually, and I’m not sure where to begin.”

  “It’s fine, take your time,” I said and then hugged him a little tighter, feeling this was what he needed from me.

  “My godfather, came to visit me, and we had a long talk.”

  “Really? You’ve never mentioned him before. What’s his name?”

  “Peter, he’s my mother’s brother and my father’s closest friend. I’ve never really addressed him as my uncle, just Peter. We’re very close, and he’s always looked out for me. He’s a lawyer as well and does a lot of similar duties for my family as Mr. Doyle does for you and your sister. However, he’s so much more than that, and that’s why I reached out to him to help me and help us figure out what to do about my father. We said a lot of things to each other and some I didn’t agree with, which led me to break the vase that was on the entryway table.”

  “Ahh, I wondered about that. Ben, we’ve talked about this over and over again, and I promised you that I would no longer interfere with how you handle or not handle your father.”

  “And I appreciate that, I really do. However, I need you and cannot do what I have to do without you.”

  “You sound serious. What are you asking me?”

  “I need to go to London, and I want you to come with me. Peter is flying home privately, and that’s in the next two days.”

  “Wow! Why now?” I questioned.

  “My mother is home, and no one bothered to tell me. I need to see her and make sure she’s okay. Once I settle my mom, I have to try to work on resolving my issues with my father. Hallie, I can’t go on like this, and after what he pulled on me with my work, I’m out of time.”

  “What happened with work?”

  “In a nutshell? He sabotaged my deal and made one of his own. I don’t want to get into it right now. It’s done, and I’m going to move forward. Lots of companies want me, and I’ll look into all of them when we return from our trip. That is, if you’ll come with me.”

  “Oh, Ben, of course, I will. What have we always said?”

  “We’re in this together.”

  “You bet your sweet and sexy arse we are.”

  We both laughed, and then I felt the weight of the world fall away from Ben’s shoulders. He was so stressed and hurt, and if this is what he needed from me, then I will do it.

  “You know, I’ve never been anywhere outside the U.S. Do you think we could do a little sightseeing while we’re there?”

  “Anything you want. Anything for you. Thank you, Hallie,” he whispered so softly I could barely make out the words.

  I knew he was hurting, and I understood why he needed to try one more time with his father. Most of Ben’s life was spent alone, and he doesn’t ever have to worry about that again. I love him, and he not only has me, but he has Leah and Harry too.

  “Ben, you meant what you said when you gave me this ring, right?”

  “With all my heart, you know that.”

  “Good, I was just checking, because this ring signifies our future. A future us. A future wedding. A future life. And it means that our lives become one, which I kind of think already happened when I told you that I loved you. No matter what happens with your father, good or bad, it’s not going to change our family. You and me, Ben. We are a family now and forever.”

  I didn’t have to say anything more to Ben, because he knew I was right and understood the meaning behind my words. He needed comfort most of all, and I can’t believe it took me all this time to really see it. I handled the “moving on part” so much better than he had. And it’s crazy, because I lost my mom for all of eternity, and I found the courage to forgive. I truly believe the only way I was able to do that is because I had Leah. She’s my rock and voice of reason when I can’t work it out on my own.

  Ben has someone now looking out for him, but he didn’t for so many years, and that’s really sad. He’s going to be okay, because I’m going to help him with anything I can. For now, all he wants is my comfort, and that’s the easiest thing to give to him. I held him all night long and prayed that he would find peace in his dreams.

  “Yes, Leah, you heard me right. I am going to London tomorrow with Ben. Listen, you’re on your honeymoon, and I didn’t want to interrupt you and Harry, but Ben made m
e call.”

  “And we are happy that he did. You know you can call me anytime. Now, tell me what is happening?”

  “Okay, I am going to make this as quick as I can. Ben will no longer be starting at Innovate.”

  “Oh, shit! What happened? Did they go with someone else?”

  “No, the company was sold and merged with a bigger company. And, before you ask, yes, it was his father. He’s been around again and marking his territory like a dog. It’s so much that we can’t keep up.”

  “This is bullshit! What is wrong with that man? Why is he doing this?” She shouted into the phone, and then I heard Harry ask her what was wrong. “I’m fine, honey, just talking to Hallie, who sends her love.”

  I just shook my head. “Okay, sis, the main reason why Ben needs to go back to London is for his mother. She’s home from Switzerland and is doing well so far. He needs to see her, and while he’s there, try to work things out with his father. Please don’t worry about us. We are going to be fine.”

  “Okay, I believe you. Hold on for a second, Harry wants to speak with you.”

  Harry jumped on the line and said, “Hey, are you alright? And don’t bullshit me, because I’m a lawyer and know how to read a person when they are lying.”

  I sighed in exasperation. Oh, these two! “I am not lying, and I’ve told you all there is to tell at the moment. It’s a complicated situation with his father, but Ben is so much better since we talked. He has me and you two, plus some good friends. They have his back, and he’s going to be okay.”

  “Hallie, I know you want to believe that, but Ben’s father is a powerful and manipulative man. He’s done a lot of shady things to our family, and I don’t want to see you hurt again. I love Ben, you know that I do, but his father is another story.”

  “I know, Harry, and Ben knows it too. Listen, I have to go and pack our bags. We’re leaving early tomorrow morning, and I have lots to do. We love you guys. Please don’t worry about anything here, okay?”