Change of Heart

by Judith Keim

  Relaxed, Em began talking about the idea of adopting a child. “I have to look into the laws and regulations in New York, and I’m not ready to move forward until I have my business secured.”

  “I’m familiar with several adoptive families. For the most part, it turns out to be a wonderful solution. There are instances when families are unaware of medical histories and have to adapt. But kids everywhere can be a challenge.” He studied her. “Are you up to it?”

  “A few months ago, I would’ve told you no, but I truly do think I am. Enough to move forward with it when the time comes.”

  “Fair enough. Sounds like you’ve thought it out. What about a non-white child? How would you feel about that?”

  “I’ve never considered it would be a problem. And now, after bonding with Nina, I feel stronger than ever that wouldn’t stop me from adoption.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. I hate to see kids without a good home. It happens here in this country more often than one would think.”

  “Yes, and I’m sure you’ve seen a lot of it in your travels,” commiserated Em.

  A sadness filled his eyes. “Oh, yes. I guess being an only child, raised by a hardworking, single mother who struggled to find a safe place for us to live has made me more aware than others, but it exists everywhere and at any age.”

  “Where’s your mother now?” Em asked.

  “She died when I was eighteen. Cancer. Another reason to go into medicine.”

  The waiter came to their table to get their order, and the talk between them moved to a happier subject. Em ordered a pompano dish, and Devin ordered roast pork with an apple and walnut stuffing.

  After the waiter had taken their orders, conversation turned to Em’s family and more specifically the fact that Elena and Andrew were expecting their first child.

  “Andrew has already asked me to be the baby’s godfather,” Devin said proudly, and for the first time, Em could sense a deep loneliness about him.

  “I’d better be the baby’s godmother,” said Em in a teasing way. “I can’t wait to see him or her. That baby is going to be spoiled for sure.”

  Devin laughed. “Nothing wrong with that if it’s done right.”

  As they ate their meal, they talked about everything and nothing, each savoring the food. Em’s baked fish with a citrus sauce was delicious.

  Too full for dessert, she suggested going back to the cottage for a cup of coffee or tea.

  Devin readily agreed.

  After he settled the bill, they left the restaurant.

  On the way to Seashell Cottage, Em gazed out at the water and observed the gold-tipped waves reflecting light from the moon and realized she’d truly miss Florida with its beaches, palm trees, and bright-colored flowers. But Ellenton was where her family was and where she needed to be. With Elena in Philadelphia, her parents and grandmother depended on her to help out. She’d do the best she could while working to set up her own business.

  Devin parked the car in the driveway and helped Em out of the car. “Shall we sit on the porch for a while? I can bring a blanket out to you.”

  “Sounds good. And then I’ll make coffee, if you want.”

  “Great.”

  Em lowered herself into a rocking chair and waited for Devin to bring her a blanket. The air at night in February was cool.

  “Here you go,” said Devin, coming from behind her and handing her the blanket.

  She wrapped it around herself and smiled up at him. “Thanks. It’s so lovely out, I want to enjoy the moonlight on the water. It still seems magical to me that I’m so close to the beach and palm trees are swaying nearby.”

  “I love the semi-tropical atmosphere too,” said Devin. “I don’t plan ever to live up north. I figure I can always visit if I want to see snow.”

  She laughed. “I don’t like snow. It would be different if I skied.”

  After several minutes of silence, Devin got to his feet. “I’m going to leave early tomorrow morning. I have a meeting in Miami first thing. So, if you don’t mind, I’m going inside.”

  “How about the coffee I mentioned earlier?” she said, unraveling the blanket from her shoulders and rising.

  “I think I’m going to skip it.”

  “Okay. Well, I guess I’d better say goodbye,” said Em, wondering if she should shake his hand.

  Devin studied her, and gently pulled her into his arms. “I’ll see you sometime, I’m sure. Probably at the baby’s baptism.”

  She looked up at him. “Yes.”

  The world around them disappeared as they stared at one another.

  Devin’s lips came down on hers, sending waves of sensation through her. She closed her eyes and let herself fall into the moment.

  “Ah,” Devin said softly. He pulled away and stared at her wide-eyed.

  “Wow!” Em gazed into his eyes and saw the surprise she felt. Aware she was headed for trouble, she quickly stepped away from him.

  Devin cleared his throat. “Guess I’d better go. You’ve got work to do, and so do I.”

  “Yes, good idea,” she lied, wishing he would stay.

  He went inside, leaving Em feeling so alone she wanted to cry.

  CHAPTER NINE

  The next morning Em lay in bed, awakened by the sound of Devin’s car pulling out of the driveway. Thinking of the kiss they’d shared, she felt as if her emotions were on a roller coaster. The magic of their kiss was inspiring to say the least, but they’d both willingly stepped away from it, each intent on pursuing their own path.

  Still in her nightshirt, she got up and padded into the kitchen in bare feet and stood a moment. It was quiet. Too quiet. She noticed a note on the kitchen table and lifted it up. “Goodbye, Emerson Jordan. Good luck with all your plans! Devin.”

  She stared at the scrawl on the paper and sighed. Time to pull up her big-girl panties and get organized for the future she’d carefully planned.

  After making coffee, she poured herself a cup and headed into the bedroom to work on her computer. She had a head start on her business plan, but no name for it. “Landscape Design by Emerson Jordan” was pretty boring. She tried a number of names and finally settled on “Living Designs”. She liked the idea she could change the words around and do some cute advertising with it.

  With that big decision made, she changed into her clothes and headed out to the beach, thinking inspiration for other aspects of the plan could be found there. Walking along the water’s edge, hearing the cries of the birds, inhaling the smell of the water, her mind opened up to possibilities.

  As she splashed her toes into the foamy edges of the water, Devin’s face came into her mind. He’d looked shocked by their kiss, but then his eyes had become shuttered. She understood his need to protect himself. She’d felt the same way.

  After strolling along the sand, Em filled with fresh energy and hurried back to the cottage. Today, she was going to drive to Sarasota to visit the Marie Selby Botanical Gardens, well known for their orchids among other tropical treasures. It would be her last excursion in Florida because tomorrow she’d have to begin organizing for her return. She was hoping to make some stops along the way heading north.

  ###

  Later, standing in the Conservatory at the Marie Selby Botanical Gardens, she was emotionally overwhelmed. The beauty of the orchids surrounding her was breathtaking, the flowers so perfect that tears stung her eyes. It might seem foolish to others, but by visiting botanical gardens in the last couple of days, she felt a renewed sense of creativity. She’d always been artistic, able to see colors in a different way from some people, and had always admired the textures and colors of living plants and flowers. But now she was better able to visualize what she could do for clients. First, she’d have to convince them she could do it.

  By late afternoon, she was once again sated by all she’d seen. She loved all the gardens but, for her, the air plants in the Epiphyte Garden and the shapes and textures in the Bromeliad Garden were the most intriguing.

&
nbsp; She headed back to Seashell Cottage exhausted but inspired. She’d grabbed a quick bite at the café but was looking forward to a simple supper at the cottage, maybe an omelet. And once more, she wanted to sit on the porch to unwind.

  Back at the house, Em unloaded the books she’d bought, poured herself a glass of wine, and walked out to the porch. The clear skies and bright sun had warmed the day. Taking off her shoes and wiggling her toes, she reminded herself to enjoy the moment. Snow and ice awaited her at home.

  Sitting alone on the porch, it seemed empty without Devin’s presence. She wondered what he was doing and how his next trip to Costa Rica would turn out for the dying mother and her child. Jared would make fun of Devin for being such a bleeding heart, but Em admired Devin for all he was doing.

  Her cell phone rang. Elena. Smiling in anticipation, Em clicked on the call.

  “Hey, mama sis. How’s it going?” Em asked.

  Elena laughed. “The mama part is doing well; the sis part is wondering how you are. Tomorrow is your last day at the beach, right?”

  “Yes. I’ll be heading up north early the following day. I must admit I’m going to miss being here. I’ve gone to two botanical gardens close by and am definitely opening my own landscape design consulting business. As soon as I get home, I’m going to talk to Marty Caster about working with him.”

  “That’s so exciting! You’ve wanted to do something like this for a while now. Good for you.” Elena hesitated and then said, “So, how did you and Devin get along?”

  “Great. He’s a nice guy. We’ve become good friends ...”

  “Yes, I’ve gathered that. He told Andrew that you made it very clear that you were not interested in anything more right now.”

  “I’ve got plans for the future, plans that don’t depend on any man to make them happen. We talked about it, and Devin made it clear he, too, was not about to get involved. He took off this morning before I even got up.”

  “I see,” said Elena, sounding disappointed. “You’re both so devoted to your professions and don’t want to get tangled up in a relationship that it’s probably a good thing Devin feels the same way you do.”

  A sharp pang of disappointment hurt Em. Part of her wished things could be different, but wishing didn’t change reality. She’d learned that lesson the hard way.

  “No news on the baby’s sex?” she asked, changing the subject.

  “Not yet,” Elena said. “The big day is this week. I’m thinking it’s a girl. I hope so anyway.”

  “Done any decorating yet?” Em asked. As Elena had admitted earlier, she was and always would be a planner.

  “Well, I’ve been thinking of doing a color scheme of pale gray accented with either blue or pink colors, depending on whether the baby is Desi or Lucy.”

  “What? You’re kidding, aren’t you?”

  Elena laughed. “Don’t worry, that’s not going to be the baby’s real name. It’s just how Andrew and I have been teasing our families.”

  “They’re actually cute names,” said Em.

  “I know, but we’re going to use family names when the time comes. First grandchild and all.” Elena lowered her voice. “Did you hear that Gran had a date the other day?”

  “Nooo, I didn’t know that,” said Em. “Guess I’d better get home and find out all about it. She’s always been so independent.”

  “Anyone can have a change of heart, Em,” said Elena, sounding more like a big sister.

  “I know,” Em replied. “I’ll get the scoop when I get home and fill you in.”

  “Thanks. I’m feeling a little left out.”

  They talked about the weather and what Em might expect to find on the drive home and then said goodbye.

  Putting the phone aside, she stared out at the water and the darkening sky. She’d yet to see the “green flash” everyone talked about, but knew the atmosphere had to be just right when the sun’s orb lowered behind the horizon. Tonight, it was too cloudy for her even to try to see it.

  Feeling a sudden chill, she went inside to fix dinner. Tonight, she’d watch a movie on television and then slide into bed, trying not to think of a certain doctor who wanted nothing to do with her.

  ###

  The next morning when Em awoke, she decided to enjoy the day as much as possible. The idea of leaving filled her with sadness. Though she might never return to Seashell Cottage, it would remain a very special place to her—one of healing, new ideas, and of a rare friendship. Devin was a good man, steadfast in his beliefs.

  She got out of bed, wrapped herself in the terry robe the cottage provided, and made her way into the kitchen to make coffee. The memory of having coffee each morning on the porch would, she hoped, warm her on winter days up north.

  Outside, she lowered herself into a rocking chair and watched the early morning crowd seeking seashells. Bent over, they resembled long-legged crabs scouring the sand for treasures. During her stay at the cottage, she’d found a couple of shells to take home. But when walking the beach, she tended to look up into the sky to watch the birds above her and allow the sun to warm her face.

  When she went inside, she rummaged in the refrigerator for the fixings for breakfast. The food she’d bought when she’d first arrived was almost gone. She’d leave what she could for the next person or the cleaning crew.

  She was finishing her scrambled eggs when her cell phone rang. Mom.

  “Hi, Mom! What’s up?” Em asked cheerfully.

  “It’s Gran. She’s fallen on ice and broken her left ankle. When we talked last, you mentioned you might stop at the Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden in Virginia on your way home. I hope, instead, you’ll come home as soon as you can. Gran would never ask you to handle the flower shop and to forego any other plans, but I am. You know how she is about having that shop open six days a week. She’s fussing about it already.”

  “Oh no! Is she badly hurt? Was it just her ankle?”

  “Her knees are bruised and sore from where she landed, and her hands have scrapes. They kept her in the hospital because of a bump on her head.”

  Em heard the worry in her mother’s voice and swallowed hard. She hated the idea of Gran being in pain and unable to keep busy in her shop. “I’m on my way.”

  “Oh, hon, I’m sorry. I know this is your last day, and you probably had plans.”

  “It’s okay, Mom. I want to be there for Gran. I’ll pack up and call you tonight when I check into a hotel.”

  “You’re a darling daughter and a wonderful granddaughter,” said her mother with feeling. “Thank you!”

  Em clicked off the call, poured herself another cup of coffee, and set to work packing up. She checked weather reports along the route and breathed a sigh of relief. It looked like winter storms along the coast were heading out to sea.

  Until she had to lug them all to her car, she hadn’t realized how many books she’d purchased. But they would serve her well in her new business and would look good in her office.

  Once she packed up, she checked the house for anything that might have been left behind, opening drawers in her room and surveying the closet one more time. She hesitated and then went to the bedroom Devin had used.

  As she stepped over the threshold, she inhaled the spicy citrus aroma of his aftershave lotion. She closed her eyes and imagined him standing there, waiting for her to say hello. A voice in her head whispered, “Foolish girl,” and she snapped back to reality.

  After checking for anything left behind and finding nothing, she left the room, carefully picked up the orchid plant from Benito and his daughter, and hurried to her car. She had to get home to Gran.

  Worry pushed Em northward, keeping her on the highways longer than she liked. And then, lying in bed in a motel, all she could see in her mind were cars flying by her or cars in front of her traveling much too slowly.

  ###

  Two days later, exhausted, she pulled into her parents’ driveway.

  As soon as she climbed out of the car, she saw her mother
walking gingerly toward her.

  “You’re here!” her mother exclaimed. “Be careful! It’s still icy. We’ve put down sand and salt, but it’s still slippery in spots.”

  At the memory of her toes wiggling in sand just days ago, Em sighed, and she moved toward her mother. “I came as fast as I could. How’s Gran?”

  Her mother shook her head. “She’s furious I called you, but secretly she’s glad.”

  “Well, then, I’m happy I’m here. Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll make sure things are right at the flower shop.”

  “Unfortunately, because of her injuries, she’s become frustrated over the effort it takes to do some of the simplest of tasks. As she gets used to the cast, she’ll adjust better. Can I help you with your luggage?”

  “Sure,” Em said. “I didn’t have a chance to tell you that I’ll be settling on the townhouse condo by the end of the week and moving in as soon as possible.”

  “Your father and I will miss you, but it’s only right for you to have your own space. Thank goodness, selling your share of the apartment in the city to a friend gave you enough funds to buy the condo here.”

  “I know,” Em agreed, happy now that she was out of the rat race of life in the city and able to do things here. Relaxing in Florida had confirmed a slower pace produced more creativity in her.

  Em suddenly stopped. “Oh my God! I forgot to ask. What is Elena having? A boy or a girl?”

  Her mother grinned. “It’s a girl. I’m thrilled.”

  Em hugged her mother and twirled her around. “A girl? That’s great!! As soon as I get my things inside, I’m calling Elena.”

  Her mother grabbed the smaller suitcase and a canvas bag loaded with shoes. Em took hold of the larger suitcase and decided to leave the books where they were. They’d need to be carried into her townhouse in a matter of days. She could hardly wait.

  As soon as her things were settled inside, Em called her sister.

  “A girl?” Em said, holding in a scream of joy.

  Elena laughed. “I guess Mom told you. I didn’t want to distract you on the drive home. Everyone is so happy you came right home. Thank you, Em.”