Deeper We Fall

by Chelsea M. Cameron

  He kissed my forehead instead.

  “Duty calls.”

  “And we answer.” I didn’t want to let go of him. We stood in the lobby, twisting our hands together.

  “We should go,” I said.

  “Yes, we should.”

  We both laughed.

  “Keep me updated?” I said as we walked toward the stairs.

  “I will. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

  At his floor, he gave me a lingering kiss, and I let go of his hand.

  “See you later, Zan.”

  “Bye, L.”

  Things were looking up when I got back to my room. Katie had finally changed her clothes and showered, and she was busy watching Pretty In Pink with Audrey and Trish.

  “When did you get here?” I said to Trish.

  “Few hours ago. I came right after work.” She looked me up and down and gave me an accusatory glare. “How was the sex?”

  “What?” How could she tell I’d had sex?

  “What sex?” Katie and Audrey swiveled their heads from the TV to stare at me.

  “Exactly, what sex?” I sat on my bed and tried to look casual.

  Trish sat up from her position on the floor. “The sex you had with Zan. Was it good?”

  “You had sex with Zan?!” Katie’s voice did that shrieking thing that she normally reserved for happy things.

  I gaped at them. I’d been hoping to hide it for at least a few days, but so much for that.

  “Fine. Since Trish seems to have sexdar, the answer is yes. I had sex with Zan. And that’s all I’m going to say about it. End of story.”

  Katie was the first one to speak. “I cannot believe you had sex with Zan. How could you be so stupid?”

  “What business is it of yours? Look who you’re sleeping with. Pot and kettle much?” Trish said.

  Katie glared at Trish before she said, “yeah well, at least I knew what I was getting into when I slept with Zan.”

  Zan

  Zack was in rough shape when I finally found him working his frustrations out at the gym.

  “Thanks a lot for having my back last night, little brother,” he said as he cranked the treadmill up. I hopped onto the one next to him and started running.

  “You were being an insufferable asshole, as usual. Why do you always have to do this, Zack? I’m so fucking tired of it.”

  “Screw you, Zan. If you don’t like it, then you can just go to hell.”

  “Already been there.”

  And heaven. I’d been there too today, with Charlotte.

  “You’ve got to stop doing this, Zack.”

  “I wish you would stop telling me what to do, like you haven’t made mistakes. You’re no fucking saint.”

  Zack’s abuse usually rolled off my back, but not today. Not anymore.

  “Fine. Keep screwing up. But I’m going to do everything in my power to keep that girl away from you. She deserves better. She deserves better than you.” I jumped off the treadmill and walked away before he could say anything else.

  I was done with him. Done with him fucking things up and done making excuses for him.

  My phone buzzed as I left the gym.

  “Hey, L. Long time no talk.”

  “Did you sleep with Katie?”

  Shit.

  “Did you sleep with Katie, Zan?” Her voice was soft, not accusing, which shocked me.

  “Yes. It was a one night stand, before she met Zack.”

  She took a deep breath on the other end.

  “I wish you would have told me.”

  “I should have.”

  I waited for the verdict while I walked as fast as I could back to the dorm.

  “I’m not going to say I’m over the moon, but I’m not pissed at you. I’m guessing she was one of the fifteen?”

  “Yes. I can tell you what number if you want to know.”

  She made a disgusted sound. “Ugh, not really. I just wish you would have told me. I thought we could talk about anything.”

  “I know, L. I know. I’m sorry. I swear, that is the last skeleton in my closet. Unless you’d like to go through the fifteen to find out if you know any more.”

  “Yeah, I’d rather not. So anyhow, dinner later?”

  “Absolutely. Do you want to go out or stay in?”

  “Out. The girls have figured out about the change in our relationship, so I’d rather not be here where everyone is going to make it awkward.”

  “Stryker would probably let us use his place. I could try to cook for you.”

  “I think I’ll take you up on that. What are you making?”

  “Can I surprise you?”

  She sighed.

  “I guess. See you at five in the lobby?”

  “It’s a date.” She giggled and I didn’t want to hang up, but I did. I called Stryker and got permission to use his place. He also offered to drive me to the grocery store for provisions. I filled him in on all the new developments since the night before.

  “So you finally made a move. It’s about time. Couldn’t resist that red dress?” he said as I grabbed a bag of fresh spinach.

  “It’s my new favorite color,” I said, thinking about earlier.

  “Good luck with everything, Zan. You deserve it. Unlike your ass of a brother. I really wanted to lay him out, but it would have been too easy.”

  “I know. I’m sorry about that.”

  “You don’t have to be sorry about anything, except that you were born to the same parents.”

  “Not much I can do about that.”

  We reached the checkout and he helped me get everything on the conveyor belt.

  “Is Katie okay?”

  “I think so,” I said as I swiped my card. I was definitely going to have to get a job if I was going to cook for Charlotte on a regular basis. “She’s been ignoring his calls. I’m sure that’s going to go over well with him.”

  “I don’t get it, Zan. I don’t get why girls stay with guys that treat them like shit.” He grabbed a couple of the bags, and I grabbed the rest.

  “Your guess is as good as mine. I don’t claim to be an expert in this particular area. So, what are you going to do tonight?”

  “I don’t know yet. I might go over to campus and get my cape or go over to this guy Allan’s house for a jam session.” He shrugged.

  “That must be an important cape,” I said as we got back in his wreck of a car.

  “Not really. Just want it back.”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  I didn’t believe him.

  ***

  “What are you making?” I’d forced Charlotte to stay in the living room while I cooked. I wanted her with me, but I wanted to surprise her, so we’d made a deal that she could stay with me while I cooked as long as she didn’t come into the kitchen.

  “That is for me to know and you to find out when I’m done.”

  “Lame,” she said, going to Stryker’s drum set and sitting behind it. “Will always wanted a drum set, but Mom said no way. I always kinda wanted to play them.” She grabbed his sticks and started banging out a rhythm. She wasn’t half bad.

  “So I have a question for you,” I said as she bopped on the drums.

  “And what is that?”

  “Would you teach me how to drive?” I’d been thinking about it for a while, but it was the first time I was able to say it out loud. “Or, re-teach me how? I never learned on a standard.”

  “You sure about that?” She set the drumsticks down and went back to the couch. I’d drawn an imaginary line right behind the couch that she couldn’t cross.

  “It’s time for me to start being free. Part of that freedom would be driving.”

  “I’ll have to get Will’s truck, and I don’t know if that’s going to happen right away with the new developments.”

  “Right.”

  “But Trish might let us use hers. I’ll ask her.” She leaned her chin on the back of the couch. “There’s something else we should talk about,
as much as I don’t want to.”

  “Zack?”

  “Yeah. We have to get him away from Katie. You promised you’d keep her safe, and so far you have, but you shouldn’t have to. I know she’s mad at him now, but she’s been mad before and she let him back in. I just don’t get it. She could do so much better,” she said.

  “I agree, but there’s not much we can do, short of tying her down and smacking some sense into her, or giving her a personality transplant,” I said, stirring the pasta to make sure it didn’t stick to the bottom of the pot.

  “I know,” she said. “What are you makiiinnngggg?” She shook her hands at the sky.

  “Wait and see.”

  Chapter Thirty-six

  Lottie

  When I was finally allowed in the kitchen, I found a giant bowl of spinach and artichoke pasta, a salad, garlic bread topped with tomatoes and for dessert, grilled peaches with honey and cream.

  “Wow, Mr. Parker. Well done.” I rewarded him with a kiss, and he returned it with so much intensity, I wanted to say screw dinner, let’s go straight to desert, but he pulled away and held a forkful of pasta up for me.

  I took the fork from him. “I can feed myself, you know.”

  “There isn’t anything I doubt you can do, pretty girl.”

  “We’ll see how you feel after these driving lessons.” Will had taught me to drive, but I wasn’t going to yell at Zan as much as Will had yelled at me.

  “I’m sure you’re a wonderful teacher.”

  “Are you trying to suck up to me?” He held up another forkful and I ate it.

  “Maybe.” He kissed some sauce from the side of my mouth.

  The rest of our dinner went the same way, with both of us taking turns with the fork, just standing in the kitchen eating from the serving dishes. It wasn’t all candlelight and fancy napkins, but it was so much better. The company was pretty awesome too.

  After dinner I forced him to watch The Breakfast Club, which he said he’d never seen, and that was a travesty.

  We lay on the couch, his hands on my back and in my hair and my head on his chest.

  “I never thought I could be this happy,” he said. “I never thought I deserved it.”

  I traced a heart on his arm. “I never thought I could have this either. How did we get so lucky?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m going to hold onto it as tight as I can. Always.”

  “Never let me go,” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck.

  “Never, never.”

  ***

  “Okay, now let it out. You feel that little catch? That’s when you need to give it some gas.” Monday afternoon, I’d gotten permission to use Will’s truck and had driven it to a secluded parking lot to practice.

  “You sure this is okay with Will?” Zan said as he popped the clutch and the truck stalled. “I know he’s not my biggest fan right now.”

  “He’s just being brotherly. Besides, I didn’t tell him what I was doing with it, so he never has to know.”

  “Until I burn out his clutch.” He started the car up again, and tried to find the delicate balance of gas and letting out the clutch so the car would move.

  I grinned at him. “I’ll take the blame, if it comes to that. Besides, Stryker would be happy to tinker with it and put in a new one.”

  I’d sat Will down and told him that Zan I were serious, and so far, he seemed to be okay with it, but I knew he’d threatened Zan within an inch of his life if he hurt me. Neither of them had to tell me that Will had done it. I knew my brother far too well.

  Katie was still in the dumps about Zack, but she was doing a little better. We’d been taking turns watching her and taking her out to get her mind off him. I hadn’t seen Zack, but Zan was on him like white on rice.

  It took him a few more tries to get it into first gear, and then a few more tries after that to get it into second.

  “I think that’s enough for one day,” he said, turning the truck off and handing me the keys.

  “You’re just saying that because you want to make out.”

  “So what if I do?” He grabbed my arm and yanked me closer, being careful to avoid the shifter.

  I sighed. “I guess you deserve a reward for a job well done.”

  “And my pretty teacher deserves a reward as well,” he said, and my body started throbbing, thinking about what that reward would entail.

  “This violates student/teacher relations, but I think I can let it slide,” I said as he slid his hands under my shirt.

  Zan

  I slipped into my new life with Charlotte and it was as easy as taking a breath. Being with her was the easiest thing I’d ever done. She fit into my life and filled up all sorts of cracks I never knew I had. She made my life feel complete. Whole.

  Her clothes were in my room, and her scent was on my sheets. When I wasn’t with her, I was thinking about being with her. No more late night runs, no more meaningless fucking, no more drugs.

  Just her.

  I didn’t seem to be getting any better at driving, but that didn’t stop her from trying to teach me. She took me out every day she could, working so patiently with me. I burned out the clutch on Will’s truck, but Stryker found a replacement and it became our little secret.

  Miss Carole was thrilled that I was with Charlotte, and demanded that we both come visit on Christmas break.

  “You’re finally who you always should have been, Alex,” she said. “It just took you a while to find yourself.”

  Zack was in a state of quiet rage. He wasn’t happy, but he wasn’t being violent or lashing out like he usually did. He’d tried and tried getting Katie to talk to him. He’d tried offers of romantic vacations and dinners and jewelry, but she was sticking to her guns.

  Both Charlotte and I thought it was for the best, and everyone else agreed.

  “So do you want to come in?” Charlotte said one night after we’d gotten back from another driving session. I’d taken up the habit of walking her to her door. She seemed to like it, and so did I. “Katie’s off at the library again,” she said, grabbing my shirt and making her intentions clear.

  “I don’t know…I have a lot of studying to do.”

  Her hands roamed under my shirt. “You mean like studying the ceiling tiles in my room?”

  “Oh, so it’s lady’s choice tonight?” She pulled my lips down to meet hers.

  “Yes.”

  She pulled away from me just long enough to slide her key card in the door.

  “So do you want to—“ she started to say before she saw that the room wasn’t empty.

  Stryker and Katie were naked and from what I could tell before Charlotte yanked me out of the room and slammed the door, mid-sex.

  “Shit fuck,” she said, tugging me down the hallway toward the stairs. “I cannot believe her. I thought she was getting back on track, but she’s just back to her old ways.”

  We had almost reached the stairs when someone ran down the hall after us, pulling a shirt over his head. I’d never seen Stryker so frantic.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you would be back. We would have taken it to my place, but things got heated, one thing led to another.” While he’d been talking, Katie had also emerged, but she wasn’t as eager to confront us.

  Charlotte glared at both of them. “What is wrong with you?”

  “I’m sorry, Charlotte,” Stryker said.

  “I’ll get to you,” she said, pointing at him and turning to face Katie, who slunk down the hall like she was facing the guillotine. She’d hastily grabbed a fuzzy pink robe and everything was barely covered. I averted my eyes.

  “Katie, what are you doing? You just got out from under Zack’s influence and now you’re throwing yourself at another guy? No offence.”

  “None taken.” Stryker seemed to be calm and collected about this whole thing. I didn’t think I would be in the same situation.

  Katie re-tied her robe with authority. “What I do is none of your business, Lottie. Y
ou’re not my mother.”

  Charlotte stepped closer to Katie and I stayed back with Stryker. “No, I’m your friend. Your friend who loves you and is concerned about you and wants the best for you. I’m not saying this isn’t good for you to get over Zack, but I don’t think this is the way to do it. You need to take some time for yourself, to figure out what you want.”

  Katie shook her head, and I saw tears starting to build.

  “I think that’s my cue to slink away,” Stryker said, trying to get past us to bolt for the stairs.

  “Oh no, you’re not getting off that easy,” Charlotte said, facing him. “She has been through a lot and if you so much as make her cry one tear of unhappiness, I will remove your spine. Got it?”

  Stryker nodded.

  “Well, now that we’ve got that settled, Zan and I are going to his room and I’ll be there all night. So, um, carry on.” She waved her hands in the direction of her room.

  With that she tugged me toward the stairs and down to my room.

  Chapter Thirty-seven

  Lottie

  “I should have seen that coming,” I said as I closed Zan’s door. My visions of a hot steamy hook-up with him were pushed to the side for a moment.

  He sat down on his bed and I climbed under his arm. “I should have told you that I did.”

  “When?”

  “The night of the party. He gave her his cape, and I saw the way he looked at her.”

  “How did he look at her?”

  He touched my cheek. “How I look at you.”

  “How do you know how you look at me?”

  “I could feel it.”

  Weirdly, I knew what he meant.

  “I guess I should have been paying attention.”

  He smiled slowly. “You know what they say. The easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone else, and right now I’d like to be under you, L.” He tossed me down on the bed, and for a little while neither of us did any thinking.