Hothar's Folly (Coletti Warlords series Book 9)

by Gail Koger

  “I am Coletti. We do not allow old ones to fight.”

  Crap. I guess it was time for a little confession. Before I could say a word, my face was smooshed against his chest. Poof. We were in a huge banyan tree.

  “Stay put,” Hothar instructed in his best scary warrior’s voice and vanished.

  Damn. He had left me on a branch at the top of a thirty-foot tree.

  Grunting bellows sounded as the Rodan soldiers attacked Hothar.

  My vantage point gave me a bird’s eye view of the fight. Hothar’s sword cut through the monsters’ thick, scaly hide like it was butter. He was death in motion; ducking, dodging and evading the Rodan soldiers attempts to gut him.

  My question was: The dinosaurs had laser pistols. Why didn’t they use them? Maybe sword fighting was a guy thing, because Hothar was also similarly armed.

  A glittering blue light appeared above the sand. Thirty seconds later, four heavily armed Rodan stood there. They drew their weapons.

  “Oh, hell no.” I dropped my mental shields and punched out with my telekinesis. The shockwave of energy hurled the monsters out into the ocean. The Rodan soldiers thrashed about wildly before sinking beneath the choppy waves.

  “Huh? They can’t swim.” I turned my attention back to Hothar. His narrow-eyed gaze was focused on me. Dead Rodan littered the ground around him and their funky mustard colored blood stained the white sand. I gave him two thumbs up.

  Hothar sheathed his sword and vanished.

  Exhaustion hit me like a sledge hammer. I dug a piece of brain candy out of my pocket.

  Hothar was suddenly perched next to me. He snatched the candy out of my hand. “What is this?”

  “It’s called brain candy. My mother created it to help me cope with fatigue after I’ve depleted my power reserves.”

  Unwrapping the clear green cube, Hothar popped it into his mouth and crunched it happily.

  “Hey, I needed that,” I protested.

  “I have something better.” Pulling a knife from his boot, Hothar sliced his hand and held it up to my mouth. “Drink.”

  I looked at the bleeding wound in horror. “Ah, I think I’ll pass.”

  “More Rodan are approaching. To survive the coming battle, you will need all your strength. Drink.”

  A swarm of prickles danced up my spine. A shit load of monsters was heading our way. Self-preservation kicked in and I reluctantly took his hand. With a grimace of distaste, I sucked down some of his warm, coppery blood. Ewww. Gross. Chocolate it wasn’t.

  “More.”

  Ick. Ick. Ick. Fighting back the urge to puke, I kept on sucking. A warmth invaded my body and I could feel my energy levels growing. I pushed his hand away. “I think that’ll do.”

  “Wazzock’s piss!” Hothar’s hand clamped around my jaw and he tilted my head up. “You are wearing a mask.”

  Busted. Wait. “Did you say Wazzock’s piss?”

  “I did.”

  “You play Warriors of the Galaxy?”

  Hothar’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “I do.”

  “What level?”

  “That is not important. Why are you wearing a mask?” The scary predator was back.

  “I was assigned an undercover mission, but everyone knows what I look like. So, I changed my appearance,” I said, trying to pry his fingers off my chin.

  “How old are you?”

  Rats. I knew he’d get around to that. I countered with, “How old do you think I am?”

  Hothar expelled a long breath. “You are an aggravating female.”

  “Stumped already?”

  “You said you considered yourself Kaylee’s sister and she is now twenty-eight. By your actions, I would guess you are younger than her.”

  I frowned. I think I’d just been insulted. “I’m nineteen. I’ve been a Siren since I was twelve,” I added proudly and tugged on his hand. “You’re cutting my circulation off and bleeding all over me.”

  The look of utter relief flashing across Hothar’s face as he released me was amusing until he said, “I have always wanted a Jones female for a mate and you are mine.”

  “Am not. We haven’t linked minds, nor have you taken my blood.”

  Hothar licked the wound on his hand and presto! It stopped bleeding. “An easy fix.”

  “No. No and hell no.” I quickly dropped to the limb beneath me.

  The pesky Coletti followed.

  I jumped to another branch.

  The annoying jerk was right behind me.

  I grabbed a limb and swung into another tree.

  Hothar did a great impression of Tarzan and landed next to me.

  The tree we had just vacated disintegrated into zillions of red fireflies.

  “Those rat bastards.” I spotted the dinosaurs shooting at us and threw them in the ocean. “FYI. The monsters can’t swim.”

  “I had noticed.” Hothar scooped me up and teleported.

  We appeared behind another Rodan firing at the banyan trees. Hothar dumped me on my feet, pulled his sword and lopped off the monster’s head.

  “Just out of idle curiosity, why didn’t you shoot him?”

  “A sword never runs out of power,” Hothar answered.

  “Okay, but if you shoot him, you don’t leave a mess behind.” I gestured at blood and body parts staining the sand.

  “A valid point.”

  I relieved the dead monster of his laser pistol and noticed his scanner. “What have we got here?” I plucked it off the rat dinosaur’s weapons belt.

  “The key to their base,” Hothar said.

  “You can read Rodan?”

  “I can.”

  “The mind meld thing?”

  He nodded.

  I gave him the scanner. I had flunked Rodan.

  Hothar punched some icons and smiled. “There is an entrance to their base one klick to the east.”

  “Let’s go say howdy.”

  “Walk or teleport?” Hothar held out his hand.

  I took it. “In this heat? Teleport.”

  “Wise choice,” he said and pulled me close. A little too close. His squirmy man parts wriggled against me. Felt kinda good too. I wanted to rub it back. Wait a minute. Why did I even want to touch his snake thingy? Then it hit me. Oh, my God. That’s why the sneaky, underhanded bastard gave me his blood. He knew this would happen. He wanted to start the bonding process. Not happening. Ever. Besides, I was too young, and he knew it. Blackness wrapped around me as we teleported.

  Chapter Three

  A fleeting second later, we stood at the base of a small hill. A furry brown spider the size of a softball scuttled across my boot. I tried to do the Texas Two-Step on its little hairy ass, but it was too fast.

  “It is only a cane spider. They are not dangerous.” Hothar looked around. “There are several more in the bushes.”

  “More?” I climbed Hothar like he was Mount Everest and grabbed his face. “Kill them! Now!”

  His eyebrows rose in disbelief. “You are afraid of those tiny spiders?”

  “Tiny? They aren’t tiny, and yes, I am afraid of spiders. I hate the eight-legged freaks.” I tightened my grip when the spider waved its hairy legs at me. “Stomp them. Whack them with your sword or use your laser pistol. I. Don’t. Care. Just make them go away.”

  Hothar wrapped his arms around me. “Do you act this way around Tabors?”

  “I met them once and I made sure they didn’t get within thirty feet of me.”

  “Only once?” Hothar eyed me with astonishment.

  “Yep. If they showed up at Central Command, I called in sick. The ones that are friends with Kaylee stay with her. Talree doesn’t let Kaylee travel much since she’s had Thor. Plus, the Tai-Kok were on the rampage and I was never able to travel to Tanith for a visit.”

  “Wulf and Yakira have adopted a baby Tabor as have Sarah and Tihar,” Hothar said.

  “And your point is?”

  “Tabors are intelligent lifeforms and you must behave appropriately. Insult
them and you could find yourself webbed to a tree.” Hothar pried my hands off his face and tried to put me down.

  I wrapped my legs around his waist. “Nope. You’re my ride until the freaks are gone.”

  “You are being irrational. The Rodan could attack at any moment.”

  “We’ve killed all of the monsters in the area and I’ll admit I’m a spider bigot. The university’s arachnid collection got loose in science class two days in a row.” I shuddered. “They got in my hair and clothes. They were everywhere. I was bitten twice and ended up spending the night in the hospital.”

  “Once you meet a Tabor you will change your mind,” Hothar assured me.

  “Me? Friends with a spider?” I laughed hysterically. “The chances of that happening are a million to one.”

  “Kaylee thought the same.” Hothar typed something into his warrior’s bracelet. Twenty seconds later, a high-pitched whine filled the air.

  The cane spiders vanished.

  “Better?”

  I examined the bushes and slid down his body. “Yes, thank you.”

  “We will work on your spider issues later,” Hothar promised.

  “There is no we. Once Uncle Saul comes for me, you’ll never see me again.”

  Hothar grinned, displaying a cute set of dimples. “I have been assigned to General Jones’s office. We will be working together.”

  I stared at him in utter horror. Uncle Saul had mentioned something about getting me a partner. He was nuts if he thought he could stick me with Godzilla here. “I don’t want or need a partner. Specially one that’s Coletti.”

  “The General is Coletti as is most of your family.”

  “They didn’t have much of a choice, but I’m happy being human,” I stated firmly, ignoring the fact that I was a half-breed of some sort.

  “The advantages of becoming Coletti are many.” Using the rat dinosaur’s device, Hothar scanned the area. “You will live longer, heal faster and have the ability to teleport.”

  “I know all of that, but I don’t like the idea of becoming an alien with fangs,” I snapped.

  Hothar studied me for a long moment. “Do you consider Kaylee and Sarah aliens?”

  “No. They’re family.”

  “Even if Sarah gets more scales?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Okay, smart guy, I get it.”

  “Good.”

  Hothar’s attitude was too damn smug. “I have a question for you.”

  A chuckle rumbled in Hothar’s chest. “Relax. I know how to perform over one hundred sex acts.”

  I blinked in disbelief. What? That had come out of left field and Hothar was so dang proud of the fact. “Holy hell! Are all of Zarek’s sexual conquests rolling around in that brain of yours?”

  “Yes. He has had sex with over three thousand females,” Hothar said with an amused gleam in his eyes.

  “Freakin’ unbelievable! When did he find the time?”

  “After a battle, a warrior has needs,” Hothar explained matter-of-factly.

  “So many battles, so many women. I’m surprised Detja hasn’t neutered him.”

  Hothar looked at me like I was a few bricks short of a full load. “They are mated. He cannot touch another female now.”

  “Right. Silly me.” Crap. I had a budding Don Juan who was eager to try out every one of those positions. Add in all that testosterone and raging hormones and I had one horny male on my hands. I needed to get his mind off sex. But how? I took a deep breath and asked, “How old are you?”

  “Nineteen.”

  “You’re just a kid,” I exclaimed.

  Hothar stiffened in outrage. “I am a fully trained warrior with battle experience.”

  “I know. I know. You have all of Zarek’s incredible knowledge of warfare.”

  The young male with raging hormones was suddenly replaced by a dangerous predator who declared, “My combat skills are the same as the Overlord’s. I can and will protect you, my lady.”

  “I can protect myself and I’m not your lady,” I shot back.

  “You will be.”

  Arrrgh. It was like talking to a rock. “You remind me a lot of Voss, the Battle Commander.”

  “He is my uncle.”

  Figured. “I met his mate Zoey about six months ago and she gave me some skunk perfume. She said it was it was warlord repellant.”

  “It did not work on my uncle and it will not work on me.”

  Uh huh. I was going to douse Godzilla with it the first chance I got.

  “Do not use it on me or you will not like the consequences.” Hothar’s menacing expression rivaled Zarek’s.

  I clapped my hands. “Damn, you’ve got scary down pat. How long did you have to practice that look in the mirror?”

  “You are not amusing. Can we concentrate on staying alive?”

  I gave myself a mental head smack. “You’re right. I apologize. When I’m nervous or scared I tend to have a bad case of motor mouth.”

  “I noticed.” Hothar pointed the dinosaur’s device at some obviously fake shrubbery and tapped an icon. The bushes slid to one side revealing a metal hatch.

  I looked around uneasily. “You think they have surveillance cameras on this entrance?”

  “They do, but I disabled them.” Hothar opened the hatch.

  I peered down. A ladder led to a dimly lit tunnel.

  “Wait here.” Hothar vanished.

  The first thing Hothar needed to learn was that I had a mind of my own and could take care of myself. Momma, Quinn and Uncle Saul had made sure of that. If I wanted to follow him I would and there wasn’t a darn thing he could do to stop me. Prickles scampered up my spine. Hmmm. Stay and play or follow Hothar? I peeked around a tree.

  Chapter Four

  A scraggly Coletti warrior staggered down the beach with a whiskey bottle in one hand and a severed Rodan head in the other.

  Whoa! Stay and play it was. Couldn’t wait to hear this guy’s story.

  The warrior stopped, lifted the skull up to his ear as if listening to it.

  Okey-dokey. He was either very drunk or there was a village somewhere missing its idiot.

  The warrior threw his head back and laughed crazily.

  Yep. He was a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Was he an escaped prisoner or a traitor?

  The village idiot yelled, “The end is coming Zarek! You will die by my sword.”

  I grimaced. A delusional traitor. Only a fool challenged Zarek to combat.

  Cackling like a demented witch, the warrior continued down the beach with a horde of flies buzzing around him.

  He was one weird looking dude. Not only was he pint-sized by Coletti standards, his warrior braids reminded me of moldy dreadlocks and he had a beer belly. The only fat Coletti I knew about was Oydle, the hybrid interrogator Voss brought in to question Sarah. Maybe this guy was his brother. It would explain a lot. Coletti warriors were always well groomed. This guy’s faded red battle suit was beyond filthy and his boots were covered in God knows what.

  The idiot drained the bottle, tossed it in the air and fumbled for his laser pistol. Thunk! The bottle hit him in the head. He toppled over.

  I shook my head in disbelief. This fool thought he could defeat Zarek? I cautiously approached the village idiot and took his laser pistol. Ugh. He stank of blood, rotted flesh and urine. Batting at the flies, I backed away from him and considered my options. My telepathy and mind control were still on the fritz. I could always shoot him, but he might have intel we needed.

  The idiot opened his eyes. “You are one ugly female.”

  “You’re not so pretty yourself. Got a name?”

  “I am Waewae, Overlord of the Coletti clans.”

  “Sure, you are.”

  Waewae bared his yellowed fangs. “I am the rightful heir to the Coletti Empire.”

  “No, Talree is,” I countered.

  The village idiot erupted to his feet, tripped over the head and did a face plant in the sand. He muttered something.

 
; “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.”

  He rolled over and bellowed, “Malik is my father! Zarek stripped him of his birthright. Now I will reclaim what should have been his.”

  The dude was off his meds. Malik had been the most hated villain in the universe. Only a village idiot would broadcast the relationship. “You do know he’s dead, right?”

  “He was murdered by a human and I will have my vengeance.”

  “Got any proof Malik’s your father? I mean, you don’t look anything like him.”

  “My mother is Lilkee, a Coletti princess and the most powerful psychic female ever born. She knows the truth.” Waewae managed to stand up.

  “Your mother was banging her brother?” I couldn’t keep the disgust out of my voice.

  “They mated to keep our bloodline pure.”

  “On Earth it’s called incest.”

  Waewae yanked his sword out. “I will kill you.”

  “You can try,” I replied, watching him stagger this way and that.

  “Your feeble mind cannot comprehend how powerful I am.”

  “I’ll agree you’re powerfully drunk and smell like a ten-day old corpse,” I said, trying not to breathe deeply.

  The wannabe Overlord spun the sword around his head. “I am the best swordsman in the galaxy.”

  “I’m sure you believe that.” I pointed at the dreadlocks now littering the sand. “But you need a bit more practice.”

  “You dare to insult me. You are nothing but ass dung. Soon your pathetic planet will be wiped from existence,” Waewae shrieked and attacked me.

  I ducked his swinging sword and tossed him in the ocean. He hit with a big splash and sank beneath the waves. Crap! There was no way I was doing mouth-to-mouth on that creep. To my relief Waewae bobbed to the surface and swam toward me.

  Hothar appeared next to me. “Who is that?”

  “He says his name is Waewae. He claims he’s Malik’s son and the rightful heir to the Coletti Empire.”

  Hothar snorted. “He cannot be Malik’s son. It is a known fact he was sterile.”

  “He also swears Lilkee is his mother and I believe him. Waewae is seriously bonkers.”

  “As is his mother,” Hothar said.