Welcome To Hell.A.

by Stephens, L.

  No amount of barking could stop the doorman from sinking his teeth into the owner, and part of Benjamin was happy that the doorman was getting revenge on the woman who had stopped him from petting his fine belly, but on the other paw the owner had treats! The doorman swiped at him and his yapping, but Benjamin ducked and barked even louder. He had to protect the owner. It was his duty, no matter how blissful the time he had spent with his darling hand. The next thing Benjamin knew, he was flying through the air and into the hedge. He had never been struck before. He had been tapped on the nose or had his nose rubbed in a urine-soaked rug, but never struck. This was very new to him. He liked being petted. He liked being stroked. But being struck was not for him. It was time to find a new owner, one that wouldn’t let him be struck, one that would give him treats and belly rubs. His leash flapped behind him as he scampered down the street. He ignored the howls of his previous owner as the doorman devoured her—he had a new life now.

  CHAPTER 57: MORNING GLORY

  Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it.

  ― Dalai Lama XIV

  The sound of a loud bang stole Sarah out of her sleep. It wouldn’t have taken much to wake her. Between David occupying most of the bed with his man spreading and his total monopoly of the sheets, she had barely gotten any sleep. Thoughts of how she was going to sever all ties with him ran through her mind before the martini hangover engulfed her.

  “Whoa, that was loud,” Sarah said softly as she rubbed her forehead, hoping that if she were sweet enough to her brain, the hangover would not make an appearance.

  “Can you shut up?” David grumbled with his back to her. “I'm trying to sleep!”

  Sarah’s eyes darted to the human pile of refuse that was lying next to her, the human pile of refuse that had been living under her roof, contributing nothing but negativity and terrible sex for the past four months. It always came back to her. She didn’t blame him, she blamed herself. If the sex had been even remotely good, she could understand why she kept him around, but it wasn’t. Things had just gotten comfortable. He was to an extent dependable, but that was only because he had nowhere else to go. She couldn’t imagine anyone else would want to fuck him or take him, especially in his current broke, bloated and aging state. Sarah sighed and sat up on the edge of the bed, the only space that David had afforded her. She wanted to get out of this situation. She wanted to go for a hike. She wanted to send him a text message telling him to get the fuck out before she got home.

  “Sarah, come on!” David strained, wrapping one of his pillows around his head. “Let me get some fucking sleep!”

  Sarah looked over her shoulder at him and shook her head. She had finally had enough. Today was the day, and she meant it this time. She regretted not taking her chance before they had gotten home, but the martinis she had guzzled had taken over and disabled her bullshit detector. She walked across to the window and pulled the sheer curtain back to look out to the morning, and she stood in front of the open window in her thong and tight white tank top, feeling the light breeze and the Sun’s warmth—it was just another beautiful day in Los Angeles. A morning hike would be just what the doctor ordered. She knew a text message would not be the prescription to cure the virus that was currently annexing even more of the bed. But she knew it would start the ball rolling, and soon the cancer that had taken up residence in her bed would be gone from her life forever.

  Sarah fell to the floor as the sound of machine gun fire filled the room. David comically rolled off his side of the bed, and Sarah crawled over to him to get as far away from the window as she could. If it wasn’t for the deafening sound of gunfire, Sarah would have laughed at David. He looked like a sweaty, greasy burrito wrapped up in his blankets, struggling to get his arms free. The gunfire stopped as quickly as it started, and Sarah breathed a sigh of relief as she stupidly looked to David for answers.

  “What the fuck was that?” David asked, finally getting his arms free.

  “I think it’s time I moved,” Sarah said, looking towards the window. “Gentrification isn’t coming to this neighborhood fast enough.”

  David ignored her attempt at humor and crawled past her.

  “Where are you going?” Sarah whispered.

  Again, he ignored her, and Sarah watched him as he wormed his way across the ground over to the window. She was distracted for a moment, and she smirked. It was like he had reverted to his true form. David lifted his head to peek out of the window but dropped it down straight away as the gunfire started again.

  “David!” Sarah screamed as she crawled over to him.

  The gunfire stopped as Sarah reached him.

  “Are you ok?” Sarah whispered.

  “Shut up, I’m trying to think!” David said, trying to peek out the window again.

  Sarah scowled. She was dumbfounded. She hoped the top of his head would fly off as a result of heavy gunfire, but she knew he would be leaving her to clean up the mess again.

  “Wow!” David whispered as he looked out the window in awe. “You don’t see that every day.”

  Sarah peeked her head up next to David’s so they were both like little kids who weren’t tall enough to see over the next-door neighbor’s fence.

  “Holy shit!” Sarah squealed.

  They both flew back away from the window as a giant Apache helicopter buzzed over the house, making the windows rattle and the walls shake. Sarah looked around the room as she covered her ears in vain to block out the deafening sound. She wondered if this was going to be the end of her cute little house, that moments before she had considered leaving for somewhere a little safer. The room slowly stopped shaking as the sound of the helicopter disappeared into the distance, and Sarah sat up. She found David was not next to her. He hadn’t rushed to wrap his arms around her to seek solace in what could be the end. He had literally left the room and was now cowering in the tub in the bathroom that was connected to her bedroom.

  “Are you okay over there, sweetheart?” Sarah said with a snicker. “You get a little scared, did you?”

  David stuck his head up and removed the towel that he had used to cover himself with. His true self was so evident. Sarah did not understand how she had not seen it before, but deep down she knew: he was a Band-Aid, a shitty little Band-Aid on a wound that would never heal.

  CHAPTER 58: RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY

  “Can you please just drive?” Lynne pleaded from the backseat. “This is not the time for that!”

  Jake was driving with one hand and checking the flood of text messages, tweets, phone calls and notifications that had come to his phone once he had received reception. He could see in the rearview that the lady in the back had done the same thing, but she wasn’t driving through zombie-riddled streets. Blood and guts covered the windshield and every square inch of the SUV, and she had finally stopped protesting about the damage being done to her rental car. It didn’t matter anyway, because Jake wasn’t listening, and most of the time he had no choice but to plough them down.

  “Okay, okay,” Jake said, waving his phone at Lynne. “Just let me finish this.”

  “Alright, just hurry up!” Lynne grumbled.

  Jake quickly wrote a text message and sent it. It was brief and to the point. It read: “I’m coming to get you, I’ll be there in a minute.”

  He had hoped a message from her would have been top of the list, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t even in the list. Either she didn’t know or she didn’t care, but judging by the state of the outskirts of her neighborhood, there was no fucking way she didn’t know. He had made an agonizing Sophie’s choice, but it all came down to the fact that Daryl hadn’t answered his calls or texts and he was most likely holding a gun. On the surface, it seemed like a dick move seeing as she hadn’t replied or answered either, but he still considered his best bet was to save her, then double back for Daryl. If he even needed his help.

  The familiar paths to the various fre
eways and major streets that led out of the city beckoned to him, but he ignored each and every one. Leaving would have fucked all his plans. He had to save her, and he had to get the diamonds, which just might be the only currency worth a damn right now, and that’s what he kept telling himself. Jake found his hand was rubbing his chest as they got closer to their destination. He was nervous as hell. Getting the diamonds back wasn’t going to be as simple as going home to get them. He had them well and truly stashed in the last place anyone would look. He turned a few sharp corners, and his guts churned, adding to the anxiety that was washing over him. He was back in her neighborhood, and he was driving on impulse, driving to her place for maybe the last time—depending how all this nonsense turned out of course. Jake snatched a few more glances at his phone with every notification that came in. A couple of his tweets that he had finally sent were getting some traction, but there were no text messages. He’d trade a million retweets for just one message from her right now.

  The number of zombies they were coming across was reducing at every corner, and as he turned up her street he saw why. It was like they had teleported into the heart of Kabul, right behind a massive military blockade. Army trucks and vehicles formed a broad line as infantry took up position behind them, pointing their rifles towards an invisible enemy. Jake stopped the car. He didn’t know exactly what to do. This was safety, he guessed, but he didn’t want that just yet. He tapped his thumbs on the steering wheel and looked around at the unbelievable scene in front of him.

  “Hey! What the fuck you doing!?” yelled a military guy forty yards away.

  Jake didn’t respond. He acted on instinct, slamming down the accelerator and taking a side street away from the barricade.

  “Where the hell are you going, dude?” Lynne called from the backseat as she gripped his shoulder with her talon-like nails.

  “Ow, lady! Fuck!” Jake screeched as he broke free from her grip.

  “Let us out, guy!” Lynne demanded, still trying to reach for him.

  “Are you serious?” Jake said, his face almost touching the windshield as he ducked her swipes. “We are almost out of here. Just let me run this quick errand.”

  “Pull the car over!” Lynne demanded.

  “Mommy!” Ava whined.

  “Okay, okay!” Jake said as he pulled the car down an alley. “We’re here anyway.”

  Jake turned the car off and turned around. Lynne and Ava were huddled together in the backseat. Their eyes were wide open, and all the blood had drained from their faces.

  “Well that was fun,” Jake said with a smile.

  “What are we doing here?” Lynne said, trying to see through the gore painted on the windows.

  “I got to grab someone, real quick,” Jake said pointing towards the passenger window. “I’ll be five minutes, I swear!”

  “You're leaving us?” Lynne said, even more wide-eyed.

  “I'll move faster on my own. You guys seem safe here, anyway,” Jake said, using his hand to metaphorically wave away their fears. “We're only a couple blocks from that army blockade. Just stay in the car. You’ll be fine!”

  “Well, why don't you take us to the blockade first?” Lynne said in her best mom voice. “Then you can do whatever the heck you want!”

  Jake gave Lynne a cheeky smile.

  “Look,” Jake said, pointing at the keys still slotted in the ignition. “When I'm gone, if you get the notion to up and leave, do it! I won't have any hard feelings. But seriously, I'll be back in a minute.”

  Jake could see she wanted to leave him, but he knew she wouldn’t. He nodded at her unspoken submission and quietly got out of the car. He felt like a dick in that moment, more so than usual. He knew he should have gotten out at the army barricade, but he wasn’t sure if they’d detain him. Leaving the keys behind was fair in his opinion. He could always find another mode of transport, but she had the kid with her and that’s what made him feel bad. She wasn’t just looking after herself. She was looking after a walking, talking liability, and up until he slipped out of the car she was depending on him to look after both of them.

  Jake closed the door quietly and looked up and down the alley as he stealthily moved to a fence that backed on to it. He wasn’t running, but his heart was almost jumping out of his chest. This was fucking it. This was the moment he had been dreading, more so than getting eaten alive by a pack of hungry zombies. There was a gate, but Jake decided using it would have been anticlimactic after all the badass driving he had just done, so he took a few quick steps and vaulted himself over the fence to the other side.

  “Woah!” Jake screeched as he saw what he was about to land on.

  There was some bald guy on the other side of the fence, hiding behind a bush.

  “Ow! What the fuck?!” the bald guy said, pushing Jake off him.

  “Fuck!” Jake said, rolling off of him.

  “Who the fuck are you?” the bald guy said, holding on to his crotch.

  “No one special,” Jake said, dusting himself off. “You seen any of them?”

  “There were a couple before, but they started chasing some army guy,” the bald guy said, finally removing his hand from his crotch and standing up. “There was a lot of shooting going on, but it seems to have stopped now.”

  “Well, thanks for the exposition, brah!” Jake said, walking towards the house. “So, what the fuck you doing back here? I know you don’t live here.”

  “I'm trying to get to the city!” the bald guy said, following after Jake like a lost puppy. “Those army assholes wouldn't let me through.”

  “The city is a war zone, bro,” Jake said casually over his shoulder. “You don’t want to go in there.”

  “I don’t want to,” the bald guy said cagily, “I need to.”

  “Buddy, whatever you need,” Jake said earnestly, “it’s not worth the trouble. Trust me.”

  @KillingJake just jumped a fence and landed on some dude who was jerking it. #HowdyStranger

  CHAPTER 59: THIS FUCKING GUY

  It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view.

  ― Dalai Lama XIV

  “Well, look who it is!” David said in his best snarky tone.

  Sarah's eyes lit up as she looked out the window. She was just thinking about him, and it was just like him to stroll back into her life at this exact moment.

  “Well I guess, the mystery of the gunfire and helicopters just got solved,” David said snidely.

  “I don’t think even Jake is capable of bringing a full-scale military assault to Los Angeles,” Sarah said with a snicker.

  David’s nostrils flared at the sound of Jake’s name, and he turned her shoulder so she was facing him. His face was scrunched up and turning red. Sarah was failing miserably at keeping the smile off her face.

  “I thought it was over!” David said through his teeth. “Have you been fucking lying to me?”

  Sarah looked at his face, analyzing all the creases and features, all the things she never wanted to see up close again.

  “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” Sarah said evenly, not giving in to David’s bait.

  “Then why the fuck is he here?” David said petulantly as he threw his hand in Jake’s direction.

  “I don't know,” Sarah said, turning back to the window. “I haven't seen him in a long time.”

  David let out a snort and turned back to the window.

  “And who the hell is that guy?” Sarah said, pointing at the bald guy.

  “Fucking Ryan Pinkerton,” David whispered.

  “Who?” Sarah said. “What the hell is he doing?”

  Ryan scratched his groin as he walked behind Jake.

  “What’s Jake doing here, Sarah?” David spat as he turned back to Sarah. “Tell me!”

  Sarah shrugged her shoulders as the sound of the front door being unlocked and opened came from downstairs.

  “Goddamnit, Sarah!” David said, raising his voice. “Are you go
ing to fucking tell me why your ex-boyfriend still has a key to our place?”

  Sarah looked up at him, fire in her eyes.

  “Number one, this is my fucking house, and, two, I didn’t get the locks changed,” Sarah said, venom welling in her mouth. “It’s not like he’s some broke asshole who has nowhere else to go!”

  Sarah stormed over to the dresser across from the foot of the bed and took out a pair of black leggings and quickly put them on. She then positioned herself in front of the open bedroom door with her arms crossed and a serious scowl on her face, waiting for Jake to come into her life again. Jake came bounding into the room as if he had been snuggling in bed with them not ten minutes earlier.

  “What’s going on guys?” Jake said playfully as he walked into the room.

  “What are you doing here, Jake?” Sarah said, trying to impede him from coming any further.

  Jake ignored her as he slipped past.

  “Answer her!” David said, walking towards Jake. “What the fuck are you doing here, asshole?”

  Jake stopped and looked at David. His face was taught but he wasn’t angry, he looked to Sarah, and his face immediately softened. She couldn’t help but return his look. They looked at each other and time stood still. They could look at each other for minutes and not say a thing and it wasn’t awkward. Time slipped back into gear as Jake turned and picked up the small wooden box that sat amongst the knick-knacks and framed photos on the dresser.

  “Hey!” Sarah said. “What are you doing with that?”

  Jake looked down at the box in his hand and slowly shook his head. He moved it up and down, feeling the weight of it. Sarah reached for it, and he turned his back so she couldn’t get at it, which made David begin marching towards him. Jake heard the oncoming steps of David on the hardwood floor and a mischievous smile formed on his face.

  “David!” Sarah said sharply. “No.”