The Wit and Humor of America, Volume IV. (of X.)
Page 40
DE STOVE PIPE HOLE[7]
BY WILLIAM HENRY DRUMMOND
Dat's very cole an' stormy night on Village St. Mathieu, W'en ev'ry wan he's go couche, an' dog was quiet, too-- Young Dominique is start heem out see Emmeline Gourdon, Was leevin' on her fader's place, Maxime de Forgeron.
Poor Dominique he's lak dat girl, an' love her mos' de tam, An' she was mak' de promise--sure--some day she be his famme, But she have worse ole fader dat's never on de worl', Was swear onless he's riche lak diable, no feller's get hees girl.
He's mak' it plaintee fuss about hees daughter Emmeline, Dat's mebby nice girl, too, but den, Mon Dieu, she's not de queen! An' w'en de young man's come aroun' for spark it on de door, An' hear de ole man swear "Bapteme!" he's never come no more.
Young Dominique he's sam' de res',--was scare for ole Maxime, He don't lak risk hese'f too moche for chances seein' heem, Dat's only stormy night he come, so dark you can not see, An dat's de reason w'y also, he's climb de gallerie.
De girl she's waitin' dere for heem--don't care about de rain, So glad for see young Dominique he's comin' back again, Dey bote forget de ole Maxime, an' mak de embrasser An affer dey was finish dat, poor Dominique is say--
"Good-by, dear Emmeline, good-by; I'm goin' very soon, For you I got no better chance, dan feller on de moon-- It's all de fault your fader, too, dat I be go away, He's got no use for me at all--I see dat ev'ry day.
"He's never meet me on de road but he is say 'Sapre!' An' if he ketch me on de house I'm scare he's killin' me, So I mus' lef' ole St. Mathieu, for work on 'noder place, An' till I mak de beeg for-tune, you never see ma face."
Den Emmeline say "Dominique, ma love you'll alway be An' if you kiss me two, t'ree tam I'll not tole noboddy-- But prenez garde ma fader, please, I know he's gettin' ole-- All sam' he offen walk de house upon de stockin' sole.
"Good-by, good-by, cher Dominique! I know you will be true, I don't want no riche feller me, ma heart she go wit' you," Dat's very quick he's kiss her den, before de fader come, But don't get too moche pleasurement--so 'fraid de ole Bonhomme.
Wall! jus' about dey're half way t'roo wit all dat love beez-nesse Emmeline say, "Dominique, w'at for you're scare lak all de res'? Don't see mese'f moche danger now de ole man come aroun'," W'en minute affer dat, dere's noise, lak' house she's fallin' down.
Den Emmeline she holler "Fire! will no wan come for me?" An' Dominique is jomp so high, near bus' de gallerie,-- "Help! help! right off," somebody shout, "I'm killin' on ma place, It's all de fault ma daughter, too, dat girl she's ma disgrace."
He's kip it up long tam lak dat, but not hard tellin' now, W'at's all de noise upon de house--who's kick heem up de row? It seem Bonhomme was sneak aroun' upon de stockin' sole, An' firs' t'ing den de ole man walk right t'roo de stove pipe hole.
W'en Dominique is see heem dere, wit' wan leg hang below, An' 'noder leg straight out above, he's glad for ketch heem so-- De ole man can't do not'ing, den, but swear and ax for w'y Noboddy tak' heem out dat hole before he's comin' die.
Den Dominique he spik lak dis, "Mon cher M'sieur Gourdon I'm not riche city feller, me, I'm only habitant, But I was love more I can tole your daughter Emmeline, An' if I marry on dat girl, Bagosh! she's lak de Queen.
"I want you mak de promise now, before it's come too late, An' I mus' tole you dis also, dere's not moche tam for wait. Your foot she's hangin' down so low, I'm 'fraid she ketch de cole, Wall! if you give me Emmeline, I pull you out de hole."
Dat mak' de ole man swear more hard he never swear before, An' wit' de foot he's got above, he's kick it on de floor, "Non, non," he say "Sapre tonnerre! she never marry you, An' if you don't look out you get de jail on St. Mathieu."
"Correc'," young Dominique is say, "mebbe de jail's tight place, But you got wan small corner, too, I see it on de face, So if you don't lak geev de girl on wan poor habitant, Dat's be mese'f, I say, Bonsoir, mon cher M'sieur Gourdon."
"Come back, come back," Maxime is shout--"I promise you de girl, I never see no wan lak you--no never on de worl'! It's not de nice trick you was play on man dat's gettin' ole, But do jus' w'at you lak, so long you pull me out de hole."
"Hooraw! Hooraw!" Den Dominique is pull heem out tout suite An' Emmeline she's helpin' too for place heem on de feet, An' affer dat de ole man's tak' de young peep down de stair, W'ere he is go couche right off, an' dey go on parloir.
Nex' Sunday morning dey was call by M'sieur le Cure Get marry soon, an' ole Maxime geev Emmeline away; Den affer dat dey settle down lak habitant is do, An' have de mos' fine familee on Village St. Mathieu.
[Footnote 7: From "The Habitant and Other French Canadian Poems," byWilliam Henry Drummond. Copyright 1897 by G.P. Putnam's Sons.]