Hawk

by Zoe Hart

  “Then you should understand why I didn’t talk back, why I let him win. That was the expectation. And I met it.”

  “That’s what you’re going with? You let him walk all over you because of money?” Taryn looked at me in disgust. “No. You’re ashamed of us. You’re ashamed of your past. And I can’t be with someone who won’t stand up for me, for his own daughter, because I’ve been defending myself and Lark for the last five years all by myself with a much smaller safety net.” She zipped the suitcase and hefted it off the bed. “Goodbye, Hawk.”

  Then she brushed by me with her suitcase. I wanted to chase after her. It wasn’t like pride was preventing it. She had that much right. And what I had done was wrong. I couldn’t go after her right now. Nothing I said would help my case. Words were meaningless. I could only fix this with action.

  Too bad at the moment I had no idea what to do.

  18

  Taryn

  I loaded the car and drove. I didn’t have a plan. That was soon obvious.

  From her booster seat, Lark called out, “Where are we going? Why can’t we stay with Daddy?”

  My heart was breaking. Everything I had feared had happened. Only in my worst-case scenarios, he had denied Lark. In reality, he had denied both of us. I mean, I rather expected, based on what little I knew of his father, that the man would doubt that Lark was his granddaughter without scientific proof. Even then, he’d probably demand to witness the testing process. I was fine with that. I suppose because in my mind, Hawk would stand up to him, stand up for us, and let his father know that he believed me. That I wasn’t a liar or a gold digger. That hadn’t happened. And in my mind, doing that was such a small, basic thing. Yet my Marine had failed. What happened to leave no man behind? He might as well have dumped us behind enemy lines and hightailed it to safety.

  When I didn’t respond, lost in thoughts as I was, Lark tried a different tactic. “Can we go see Uncle Braxton?”

  Finally, an idea that might actually work. “Sure, Lark.” And I pulled over so I could safely make the phone call. My brother picked up after just two rings.

  “Hey, you don’t usually call on the weekend. What’s up?” Braxton sounded super happy, so I knew I was about to ruin something.

  “Any chance that Lark and I can stay with you for a few days, just until I can figure things out?” My voice was barely louder than a whisper. I was afraid if it was, that I was crying would be terrifyingly obvious.

  “Of course. Come over. Cash and Peyton are here…”

  I wasn’t in the mood for people. “I can just come over later, when everyone is gone.” I was about to hang up when Peyton grabbed his phone.

  “What are you doing? Come over here. I’ve been your best friend forever. This is your brother. Whatever is going on, you need us. Let us be here for you,” she urged.

  My resolve melted. “Okay,” I whispered. Then I sniffled and swiped at my eyes.

  “See you soon, Taryn,” Peyton murmured. “I’ll have some white wine poured for you.”

  I ended the call and looked at Lark in the back seat. She seemed to be as forlorn and inconsolable as me. We were quite the pair. “It’s going to be okay, Lark. I don’t know how, but you know how in your fairy tales, there’s always a happy ending?”

  “Yes,” she whimpered.

  “Well, we’re not happy. So this isn’t the ending.” I reached out and rubbed her leg, the only part of her I could reach from my seat.

  “So, you think we’ll see Daddy soon?” Her brows rose hopefully.

  I didn’t want to crush her spirit. I didn’t want to stomp on her little fragile heart. “I don’t know, but I do know we’ll get happy again. Soon.”

  Lark nodded and stared out the window. “Okay, but I was happiest when we were with Daddy.”

  My head hung. “I know, kid. Me too.”

  We arrived at my brother’s apartment. I saw Cash’s vehicle, which was no surprise. He and Peyton had been absolutely inseparable since they found each other again. I was happy for her, but at the moment, I was ridiculously sad for me.

  When I knocked on the door, Peyton answered it in record time. “You must’ve been standing there waiting on me,” I teased. Okay, I tried to tease. Everything seemed to be falling flat at the moment.

  “Come here, baby bird,” Braxton called from the sofa.

  Lark didn’t need to be told twice. She ran past me and launched herself into his arms. “Uncle Brax, I’m so sad,” she wailed.

  “Why are you sad?” he asked. Then he glanced at me.

  I decided to sit there and listen to her version of events before offering my take on the situation. “Go on. Tell him,” I urged.

  “Daddy had a fight with his daddy and we had to leave.” Lark buried her face in Braxton’s neck.

  Well, that wasn’t going to satisfy anyone’s curiosity. “Can I set up her sleeping bag on the floor in your bedroom for now? I’ll move her when you’re ready to go to sleep tonight.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. You and Lark take the bed. I’ll take the couch.” Braxton nodded to show he was serious.

  At the moment, I was too tired to argue. I decided to just be grateful instead. We only had a few hours until Lark’s bedtime. I could probably hold it together that long. The group decided to order pizza for dinner. I was all in. Anything to not have to cook or think tonight. Especially think. I knew they were waiting for me to tuck Lark in so they could pounce. They all wanted to know why I was here. She was currently acting as my human shield and she didn’t even know it.

  That was why I let her stay up late. That, and tomorrow was Sunday. My one day to sleep in. I’d imagined snuggling in bed with Hawk. He had this spot on his chest where my face fit perfectly. I could inhale the scent of him, a mixture of his body wash and his natural smell…fresh, clean, and a little bit spicy.

  At eight, I broke down and tucked her in Braxton’s bed. I pulled the covers up around her and realized she had Baby Stella and Bishop’s monkey in bed. “Where’s Dolly Mama?”

  “Bishop and I traded.” She frowned while she waited for my reaction.

  “We’ll trade back soon. I can’t do anything about this tonight.” I sighed as I imagined having to reach out to Hawk about this.

  Suddenly, Lark reached out and held my face in her hands. “It’s okay, Mommy. I love you. We can get through anything together.”

  I’d lost count of how many times I’d said that to her over the years, just like that, staring her in the eyes to let her know I saw her, right to her soul. When she had a bad dream, when she was afraid of sounds in the night, if she had a rough day, I’d hold her face and say those words. It’s okay, Lark. I love you. We can get through anything together. Now I had proof she’d actually been listening.

  I peeled her hands off my face and held them a moment. “I know, Lark. I love you. We will get through this.”

  “Will I see Daddy again?” She blinked back tears.

  I never expected her to get attached to Hawk so quickly, but her question showed me how long she’d missed having a father, despite Braxton’s nearly constant presence. “Of course you will. Daddy loves you.”

  He did. I hadn’t lied. I started to walk out the door when she spoke again.

  “Mommy, Daddy loves you too.”

  My breath caught in my throat. He did. I knew he did. I just wasn’t sure if love could be enough in our case. I nodded and blew Lark a kiss, then I walked back down the hall to the living room.

  Braxton, Cash, and Peyton were lined up on the couch. They’d turned off the television. Clearly, they were ready to talk.

  “I thought you were into the game,” I mumbled.

  “Nah. We care about you more,” Peyton announced.

  I nodded numbly. “So, you want to know why I’m here? How it all went so horribly wrong?”

  “Well, you could start by explaining what Lark told us,” Braxton suggested.

  I swallowed hard. For some reason, I struggled to even speak about any
of it. Saying it aloud made it too real. “Hawk’s dad showed up unannounced, but it’s his place, so I guess it’s not like he had to call or anything.” I shrugged as I sank down into the armchair they’d left for me to sit in during the inquisition. I couldn’t get comfortable. Lately, I was so accustomed to sharing my space with Hawk that I didn’t even know how to sit by myself. My God, I was pathetic. I finally groaned and curled up in the corner like a wounded animal.

  “Go on,” Peyton urged. “Then what?”

  “Well, I saw him first. We were playing on the beach. Away from his father, Hawk was this strong, independent guy. He told me to walk back to the house with him, we were a family. Blah blah blah. Only clearly, we weren’t. We aren’t. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have let his father say such awful things.” I covered my face, remembering the shame of it.

  “Easy, Brax,” Peyton murmured.

  I glanced at him and saw his hand was clenched into a fist. He had a tic in his jaw. To think we had once had a contentious relationship. Now, he always had my back.

  “I’m not sure if this will make it better or worse,” I began tentatively, “but he basically accused me of being a gold digger. He wouldn’t believe that Lark was Hawk’s without a paternity test, and he acted like Hawk was an idiot for taking my word without scientific proof.” I took a deep breath. Braxton had leaned over now, his elbows resting on his knees, and I could see he was trying to control his temper. I needed to finish this story fast. “So, when it was clear that Hawk was going to roll over and take it, not stand up for me, for his daughter, I packed us up and left.”

  “I could kick his ass for this. He’s at the lake house?” Braxton stood up and started pacing.

  “Sit down,” Cash urged. “We’re not in high school anymore. There are very real consequences for violence as adults.”

  “Yeah, we can support Taryn without using our fists, Brax,” Peyton added.

  My brother wheeled around and glared at her. “When have you ever used your fists to defend anyone?” he snapped.

  I stood up. “Hey. Stop. This is my fight. I can’t have you at each other’s throats. That’s not what I want.”

  Braxton turned to me and asked quietly, “What do you want, Taryn? How can I help?”

  “Just let me stay here while I find a place. That’s all.” I shrugged.

  “And watch Lark on Saturday,” Peyton added. “Just like we planned.”

  “Just like you planned. I never agreed to go to the reunion. In fact, I think I specifically remember refusing to go.” I frowned. I felt like even more of a failure than before. No way was I going to parade that around at the reunion.

  “You’re going,” Peyton insisted. Then she turned to Braxton. “I still want Taryn to go to the reunion with me, since Cash is too cool to go.” She rolled her eyes.

  “I told you, I’ll go to the dinner. I’ll let you show me off. Then I’m back here with Braxton. You’re on your own for the dunes. I’m too old for that place.” Cash shook his head.

  That was my big chance for a compromise. “Perfect. I don’t want to see anyone at the dinner.” I took a deep breath. “I’ll go to the dunes…if you’re my designated driver, Peyton.”

  “Again?” She groaned. “I thought it might be my turn. I was your DD at graduation.”

  “If you want me there, it’s going to take a lot of alcohol. I’m going to have to forget that’s where I lost Drew, met Hawk, and officially altered the course of my life.” My chin jutted out while I waited for her response.

  “Good point. You drink for both of us.” Peyton came over and hugged me. A second later, Cash and Braxton had joined in.

  I didn’t need Hawk. I had all the support one person could need right there. Oh, but I wanted Hawk, and all this support could never replace the man I’d given my heart.

  19

  Hawk

  I woke up to my phone vibrating. I’d fallen asleep clutching it, hoping that Taryn would reach out at some point. She hadn’t. It was just a news notification. And I was using every bit of restraint to not call her, to not text her.

  I missed the sound of her voice, the emojis, all of it. I missed how alive the house felt with her and Lark here. From the way Bishop looked at me, with such blatant disapproval, I could tell he felt it too.

  “You miss Mommy and Lark?” I asked as I let him out of the kennel to take him outside. He looked around frantically and I realized my mistake. He was expecting to see them. I sighed. “Sorry, boy. Daddy scared them away.”

  That wasn’t entirely true. They didn’t leave scared. They were hurt. They thought I had chosen my father and money over them. And I didn’t, but I did. I was determined not to rock the boat, but not for me, for them. I needed to make sure I could provide for Taryn, Lark, and Bishop. They needed a place to live. And at the moment, I was the only one who could provide that…because of my father.

  Bishop did his business in the front yard, and even though I hated my father at the moment, I still picked up the mess because I wasn’t going to give him anything bad to say about me. I was going to be responsible and respectful, even if he didn’t deserve it.

  My phone vibrated again. I quickly looked at it. That time, Roman had a message for me: The place is ready for your inspection. Can you meet me this morning?

  I knew what it meant. Roman wanted to be paid. I didn’t blame him. I did too. And if I approved the work, I could start moving in. Of course, now I wouldn’t have help from Braxton or Cash. I would have to hire movers. And I doubted there was anyone available on a Sunday morning.

  I sent my text: See you in half an hour.

  I didn’t take the time to shower or shave. I locked Bishop in his kennel with promises of future freedom and a yard. Then I grabbed my keys and hopped in the truck. I drove to the house in record time since most people were in church that time of day.

  As I pulled up, I grinned. Damn, it was nearly perfect. If only I had Taryn to share this with. The place, once a boring brown, was now a crisp white with a navy blue door. The shutters matched. And the old cracked sidewalk had been replaced with fresh cement.

  Roman greeted me at the door like we were on some HGTV show. “What do you think?”

  “I love it so far. Let’s look inside.” I braced. After all, I was about to see Taryn’s dream kitchen…without Taryn.

  The old flooring had been replaced with hand-scraped hardwoods in the gray finish I’d chosen. The walls were all painted that blueish gray that Taryn had selected. The neutrals made the place pop. To my right, the kitchen now had an island instead of a peninsula. There was a nice big stainless steel farmhouse sink that looked amazing with the glass subway tile backsplash and the white cupboards. I could almost picture the life we could have here with Lark, and the idea of never being together as a family broke my heart.

  “I’m just gonna look around,” I mumbled as I rubbed my chest. I recognized the panic setting in. I’d worked hard to overcome the fears that emerged from my time deployed. It helped having Bishop around. He always sensed my moods. So did Taryn, the only human who truly understood me.

  Everything was perfect—as perfect as it could be without my family to share it with. I’d never felt so alone in all my life. I returned to the kitchen to find Roman leaning against the island with the final bill. I took a quick peek at the invoice and nodded. “It’s a Sunday,” I reminded him. I pulled my debit card from my wallet. “I can pay a portion now and the rest with a cashier’s check from the bank in the morning, unless you would prefer a wire transfer.”

  Without saying a word, Roman passed me a card with his banking information. “Will this work?”

  “Perfect. I can get this initiated as soon as I get back to the computer.” I looked around the place once more. “I guess all that’s left is moving in.”

  “Eager to get in?” He chuckled. “I thought so.”

  I forced a smile. Everything about this would’ve been so much more exciting if I’d have had Taryn and Lark with me. I wanted to re
medy that soon. The second bedroom would be Lark’s for sure. I knew Taryn would never keep my child from me, but I wanted the whole package. I had to find a way to fix things, and fast. I knew what had to be done.

  I drove back to the lake house. I needed to initiate the cash transfer for Roman. Then, I planned to go furniture shopping. I had a house to fill. And I needed everything. What did I have to move in? Clothes. And a dog. Everything here and at my parents’ estate belonged to them. Not for a single minute of my life was I unaware of that fact.

  When I logged into my online account, I was shocked. The lawyer for the trust had asked me for my account information after our initial contact. I’d provided it and then gone about my life. I’d been so consumed with Taryn and Lark that I didn’t think much about the money, other than what it would mean for us as a family. I grinned. Now, it meant that I didn’t have to go back to the family business. I could move out immediately.

  Bishop and I could stay in my house. I’d sleep on an inflatable mattress. I’d eat standing at the counter. I didn’t care. I was going to get the place furnished, reach out to my contacts at the State Department and the Pentagon, and launch my company. I was going to be a man Taryn could be proud of.

  The week passed in a flurry. I’d ignored my father’s calls. I’d furnished the house with the bare minimum so there would be plenty of room for whatever Taryn wanted to keep. I had secured a contract to move the next round of dogs from the Middle East to Michigan, happening in three weeks. And maybe most important of all, I’d picked a ring for Taryn. I had the jeweler make a custom one. The took the longest of all. That was the holdup on claiming my family.

  In the meantime, I’d sent daily texts that were completely ignored. I’d text her good morning and goodnight. I told her I couldn’t stop thinking of her. I asked her to tell Lark that I loved and missed her. Then, late on Saturday, I decided to take Bishop to the beach for his sunset run and discovered he was holding some strange toy.