by Rosie Clarke
She smothered a sigh as she heard a wail from Fay. The twins had woken her just after five. She’d bathed them, fed them and played with them, and they’d fallen asleep again, giving Peggy time to get on with her work.
‘Do you want me to see to them, Peggy?’ Rose asked, but she shook her head.
‘No, I’ll go up, Rose. You read your letter. I’ll bring them down and then you can make the scones and soup. I wondered if we could use those green tomatoes I bottled last summer to make soup – what do you think of the idea?’
‘I think it would be lovely with a little dried basil,’ Rose said. ‘I might put a little sugar in to sweeten it if it’s too sharp. Tomato soup is always red… but this would be different…’
‘I got a tin of pink salmon the other day and I’m going to make us sandwiches for lunch.’
‘Lovely,’ Rose said. ‘Let me experiment with the soup. I’ll see what it tastes like and then decide if it needs anything else to make it tasty… we do have some lentils in the store cupboard.’
‘I’ll leave it to you…’ Peggy made a dash as Fay’s screams increased. She didn’t know how Laurie thought she would manage the cooking and the twins if Rose left her.
*
Rose was on the stool searching the top shelf for the lentils when she heard a noise behind her. She turned and saw Laurie Ashley looking at her legs. She’d been stretching up and must have given him an excellent view of her underwear. Anger made her bold and defiant.
‘Gentlemen don’t look at a lady’s legs when she’s in a vulnerable position.’
‘Are you a lady, Rose?’ he asked and she felt coldness at the back of her neck. He was leering at her, a menacing expression in his eyes.
‘What is that supposed to mean?’ she asked, getting down from the stool with the stone jar in her hand. He was so close that her skin prickled and she felt a surge of fear.
‘I read the papers. My wife might not bother, but I read them from back to front and I remember faces. Your father murdered your mother – and some reports implied it was your fault… and you lied about your name. It’s March, not Marchant.’
Rose froze as he saw the leer in his eyes. ‘I told Peggy about the murder and she said it didn’t matter. It wasn’t my fault…’
‘Perhaps not, but you had quite a reputation locally, didn’t you?’
‘You have no idea what you’re talking about.’ Rose raised her chin defensively. ‘Besides, I’ve made a new start and I like living in the lane.’
‘Oh, I’m not saying you should leave,’ he said and moved a little closer. ‘But you could be a bit nicer to me, Rose…’ the threat was implied rather than spoken and Rose itched to throw something at him. He might be Peggy’s husband, but she wouldn’t put up with this from anyone.
‘Keep away from me or I’ll tell Peggy,’ she hissed. ‘I don’t want you near me and if you think you can blackmail me…’
‘Who said anything about blackmail,’ he asked and looked a little uneasy.
‘If Peggy didn’t need help I’d find work elsewhere – and if you bother me like this again, I will…’ Rose looked at him coldly.
He raised his hands and backed away, his eyes mocking her. ‘Enough said. I’ve never forced a woman, but I know a lying little tart when I see one… so behave yourself or I’ll let a few people know about your background.’ He walked out of the kitchen grinning as though he thought he’d won the prize.
Rose made up her mind to look for alternative work and when she found it, she would give in her notice. Peggy had spoken about making a change and Rose guessed she was unhappy, but it was unlikely that she would just walk away from a business that she’d spent years building up, and Rose wasn’t prepared to be around a man she despised as much as she despised Laurie Ashley.
*
Maureen phoned Peggy that evening. She’d just returned home and wanted to talk but didn’t feel she could leave the children with Gran again.
‘Gran’s been so good,’ she said. ‘She looked after them for two days while I visited Gordon…’
‘How is he, Maureen?’
‘In a lot of pain, as you might imagine,’ Maureen told her. ‘He was in reasonable spirits considerin’, but it will be a long job, because the wound isn’t healing properly yet. I feel so sorry for what he has to go through, Peggy, but of course I shan’t ever tell him…’
‘No, of course not,’ Peggy said. ‘Sayin’ I’m sorry wouldn’t help either of you, but you know you have my support and my love. If I can do anythin’ – anythin’ at all…’
‘I know,’ Maureen replied and smothered a sob. ‘I’ve got good friends to support me, but Gordon has to do it himself, Peggy. I can help; you can help by keeping his spirits up when you see him, but he will have to go through it and we can’t bear his pain for him.’
‘He isn’t bitter, is he?’
‘No, not that I’ve seen – at least, not yet, but it may come when he realises all the things he won’t be able to do for a long time, if ever, like playing football with the kids…’ Maureen sighed. ‘Anyway, how are things with you – is Laurie all right? I know it can’t be easy havin’ him back…’
‘The first thing he did was to quarrel with Pip and he made me cut Rose’s hours. She’s livin’ over the road with Mavis now and I miss her. Nellie moved into her flat, so it’s just Laurie, the twins and me at night…’
‘Oh, that’s a nuisance, Peggy. Rose was such a big help to you.’
‘She doesn’t like Laurie,’ Peggy said. ‘I can sense an atmosphere whenever they’re in the same room. From what she’s said, I think he must have done something to make her uncomfortable. Perhaps some heavy flirting…but from him not her.’
‘You won’t put up with that – in your own home?’
‘What else can I do – unless I just take the twins and leave everything I’ve worked for?’
‘Oh, Peggy, I don’t know what to say…’ Maureen sighed unhappily. ‘I’m here most of the time and I’ll call in when I can – but I shall be in Portsmouth this weekend again. We hope Gordon can be moved to London soon, but he needs some special treatment first so it may not be for a few weeks yet… but we could let you have a bed in the sitting room if it gets unbearable…’
‘And let him have everything? No, I can give as good as I get…’
‘Be careful, love…’
‘Oh, Maureen love, I don’t want you to worry about me – you’ve got enough to worry about yourself; what with Gordon and the new baby on the way. You’ve got to take care of yourself too.’
‘Gran and Shirley make sure of that – but you would always do the same for me and if you feel somethin’ is wrong, just tell me. Remember Tom is around – and that nice Sergeant who is staying with him. Sid would throw the fear of God into anyone…’
‘Laurie would never hurt me physically,’ Peggy said. ‘He’s been impossible to live with, even though he bought me some chocolates. He said it was for our anniversary, but he hasn’t bothered with that for years! He’s so sharp with Rose and he finds fault with me and I see him frownin’ when the twins cry…’
‘I expect he feels awkward too,’ Maureen said. ‘He has been away for a long time – and the twins aren’t his…’
‘It worries me that he won’t accept them,’ Peggy said. ‘They don’t notice that he ignores them at the moment, but when they get older it is sure to cause trouble. I’m not sure what to do for the best… Divorce is such a huge step…’
‘Peggy! Would you really leave him?’ Maureen hesitated. ‘What about the pub – all your years of work?’
‘I’d have to give that up… he’d never let go…’ Peggy’s voice lowered. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow then, Maureen. I’ve got to try to get to grips with this wretched new PAYE tax system. I’m damned if I understand it…’
‘I’ll give you a hand one day if you’re stuck. I think I’m on top of it.’
‘Thanks. Take care of yourself, love…’
Maureen loo
ked at the receiver as Peggy put it down abruptly. She frowned as she realised that her friend must either have suspected that Laurie was listening in or he’d walked into the room. She would call round in the morning and see what was going on. Peggy said Laurie wouldn’t hurt her – but he wasn’t exactly kind to her either, and if she were Peggy, she would be worried about his attitude towards the twins. It must be very irritating for a proud man to know that his wife had given birth to a younger man’s twins.
*
Peggy was sleeping. Laurie had heard the boy start whimpering in his cot and listened for his wife to get up to him, but she hadn’t and now the girl had started to cry. Laurie wasn’t sleeping well because he’d found it harder coming back to the pub than he’d imagined. His wife’s influence had grown too strong in his absence and it annoyed him that when he’d phoned the Brewery they told him what Peggy had been ordering and questioned his choices. The travellers who called in to tell him about new products asked for Peggy and seemed doubtful when he gave them an order for sauces or cigarettes, and the customers kept asking if Peggy was well and saying they missed her when she wasn’t in the bar.
He waited for a while but Peggy didn’t wake, so he got up and went into the twins’ bedroom. It was Fay who was crying, though Freddie was also awake and looked up at him with wide eyes as he bent over Fay’s cot. Laurie hesitated to pick the crying child up. She wasn’t his and he felt no affinity for her and yet as he looked at her red face, he remembered Janet when she was small. He’d spent night after night nursing her when she was teething and he’d been the only one who could comfort her. Peggy hadn’t been able to quell her tears.
‘What’s wrong then?’ he asked in a soft tone. A part of him wished the twins had never been born, but that was only his pride – and now he remembered what it was like to be a father. Laurie had always wanted to have more babies, but after Pip they hadn’t come. He’d thought it was Peggy’s fault, but he realised now that it was more than likely his inability rather than hers. He’d had a bad bout of the measles in his late thirties and that could ruin a man’s chances of having more children. ‘Come on, girl, there’s no need to take on so…’ He bent down and lifted Fay up, catching the tell-tale odour of a dirty nappy. It was acidy and very strong, and he guessed she had an upset tummy. He stroked her cheek with one finger. ‘Well, let’s see what we can do to make you more comfortable.’
Laurie removed the soggy nappy and dropped it in the bucket Peggy used for soiled linen. He wiped the little girl’s bottom with some cotton wool and a drop of cleansing lotion, noticing there was a bit of a rash on her tender skin. Hunting for some healing cream, he found a pot and smeared a good dab on before replacing the nappy with a soft clean one. Fay had stopped crying after he’d removed the wet cloth and was looking at him with Peggy’s eyes. He thought she looked beautiful and it wrenched at his heart when she smiled up at him and blew bubbles.
Memories of Janet as a baby flooded back and some of the anger and pain eased away. When he’d told Peggy to let everyone think he was the twins’ father, he’d thought he could cope, but it had been hard to come back to a home that no longer seemed his and discover that neither his wife nor her children appeared to need him.
‘There we are then,’ he said and placed Fay back in her cot. She looked at him for a moment and then said, ‘Dadda…’
Laurie felt a little shock and a tug at his heartstrings. She wasn’t his daughter but she seemed to think she was and for some reason that brought tears to his eyes.
‘Yes, little one,’ he said. ‘I’m your daddy. I can see you haven’t had all the attention you need, but I’m back now and your mummy will have more time to look after you…’
Laurie turned to look into the other cot. Freddie was just staring up at him, his thumb in his mouth. He wasn’t crying, but he picked him up anyway and checked his nappy, which was dry.
‘Are you going to call me Dadda too?’ he asked, but Freddie didn’t speak; he just looked at him with those wide, faintly accusing eyes, as he was put back into the cot. ‘No? Well, that’s a shame…’
Laurie turned to leave and then saw that Peggy was watching him from the doorway. She had a wary look in her eyes.
‘What were you doing?’
‘Fay has a tummy upset and I changed her nappy. You need to take her to the doctor in the morning, get something for that tummy. Freddie doesn’t have it – he’s fine, but I checked him just the same.’
Peggy walked to the cot and looked down at the twins. Freddie smiled and held out a hand to her. ‘Mumma…’ She bent down and kissed him and he patted her face, laughing. Returning to Laurie, she gazed up at him. ‘Why didn’t you call me?’
‘You were obviously tired or you would’ve woken when they were crying. Besides, I always helped with the others when they were ill or teething…’
‘Yes, but…’ she stopped. ‘I wasn’t sure how you would feel… I mean it isn’t quite the same, Laurie.’
‘It can be if you want it to,’ he said and smiled at her. She looked sexy in her nightgown with her hair tumbled. He’d forgotten what a good figure she had and surprisingly found himself aroused. ‘We just have to want things to come right, Peggy, that’s all…’
‘Thank you for changing her,’ Peggy said. She hesitated, then, ‘I want us to be friends, Laurie – but you’ve been so prickly and nothing I do is right for you.’
‘I felt as if I was in the way,’ he said. ‘You didn’t need me – you had everything worked out and I was just a nuisance…’
‘Of course you weren’t,’ Peggy said. ‘This is your home and your pub – but you made it so clear that I was just the woman who cooks and cleans and I’ve wondered if you would prefer me to leave…’
‘Don’t be an idiot!’ he said harshly and then frowned. ‘No, I’m the idiot for making you feel like that, aren’t I? I’m sorry, Peggy. I’ll try to do better in future.’
‘Why did it all go wrong, Laurie?’ Peggy asked and looked sad. ‘I thought we had a good life but then… It wasn’t enough for you, was it?’
‘I’m not sure what went wrong,’ he said. ‘I hated it that you made such a fuss of your stepfather, Percy. He was never faithful to your mother, even though you thought he was so good to her.’
‘Mum loved him and he brought her back from the edge,’ Peggy said. ‘She’d lost her husband and her son and was sinking fast until Percy stepped in. If he went with other women, she didn’t know about it and nor did I – so when he was ill I wanted to help him. It was never more than that…’
‘I know but it annoyed me – and I suppose I wanted a change. And then you took Janet’s side over her marriage…’
‘She was in love,’ Peggy said. ‘Why don’t you admit it, Laurie? These things wouldn’t have mattered if you’d still loved me, but you were bored.’
‘Yes,’ he admitted it finally. ‘Well, I tried changing my life, but it wasn’t a bed of roses. I’d like to make things up with you – I’d like to be your husband again. Oh, I’m not demanding a place in your bed immediately, but I’d like to think it could happen one day.’
‘I’m not sure,’ Peggy said truthfully. ‘I’m not the same person either, Laurie. Things can’t ever be as they were…’
‘No, you’re more independent, more confident than you ever were,’ he said. ‘I was sincere when I said I wanted to try again, even if it is only as friends and partners – but I felt shut out, not needed. I thought you could manage without me… but I helped just now, didn’t I?’
‘Yes, you helped…’ Peggy smiled and Laurie realised that she had a new beauty about her, a serenity that made her seem above him. He’d got bored with the woman who was a mother first and a wife second, but he didn’t know the new Peggy, and he was intrigued. ‘Thank you for being so gentle and kind with Fay and Freddie. I was afraid you would resent them and hate me because of what they represent. You were awful to Pip and his girl – and he really loves her. You shouldn’t take anger against me out
on your son.’
‘I just didn’t want him to make a mistake,’ Laurie confessed. It was a night for confessions, for getting words out that were hard to say. ‘And I did resent the twins – but when Fay was in such distress I thought of our Janet when she was teething. A baby isn’t to blame just because her father was not married to her mother. I shan’t hurt them, Peggy. I’d never harm an innocent child…’
Peggy relaxed. She’d been feeling anxious lately, but now she knew she had nothing to fear. Laurie had been like a bear with a sore head these past few weeks, but he wouldn’t harm her twins. He wanted to be the boss and to give out favours, as he had in the past – for her to be grateful to him and look up to him. Peggy wasn’t sure she would ever feel that way again, but she could be pleasant and treat him as a friend rather than a stranger.
‘Let’s see how things go,’ she said.
‘I don’t like that girl you’ve taken on,’ he said. ‘She’s a slut – I rang the pub where she used to live and they told me. Everyone says she was sleeping with her own father… and other men…’
‘Laurie! I’m sure Rose isn’t like that…’ Peggy sighed. She liked Rose, but Laurie obviously didn’t, and that was because Rose had made it clear she didn’t want his attentions. ‘I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt. She seems honest and good-hearted to me.’
‘She came out of the bathroom, her robe opened at the front and the way she looked at me – well, it’s up to you, but I should get rid of her. You’ve got Nellie to help you and you can get someone else if you need them.’
Peggy sighed, because he was being unfair, but for the moment she was tied, though perhaps it didn’t matter. ‘Rose is thinking of leaving soon anyway. She doesn’t like you either, Laurie.’
‘The sooner she goes, the better, as far as I’m concerned. There’s bad blood there, Peggy. Let her go and ask Nellie to come in more…’
‘I shan’t argue with you, Laurie. Rose will leave and perhaps Janet will come home if I ask her to.’
‘Yes, you do that,’ he said and smiled. ‘She should be home with us – until she marries again. If Janet was here we could go out sometimes. It’s years since we went to the flicks or a meal.’
