by Rosie Clarke
‘I’m not sure she ever will…’
‘Telephone her and ask…’
‘Why don’t you? You could tell her you want to get to know Maggie…’ She saw the doubt in his face. ‘You need to try to build bridges, Laurie, with Pip and Janet. Otherwise this family will fall apart.’
‘Janet married Mike to defy me,’ Laurie said. ‘You wait – in a year or two at the most she’ll get married again.’
Chapter 15
Janet stood at her bedroom window and looked down into the large garden. It was like spring that morning in March with the first early bulbs beginning to flower everywhere. She didn’t blame Rosemary for wanting to come back to her home in Devon; it was a much nicer property than she’d had in Portsmouth. A large Victorian building of red bricks and a slate roof, it had lots of space for her children to play in the gardens, and the extensive attics, if it was wet. The boys went to day schools now rather than the boarding school they’d hated and seemed much happier. They’d shown no outward signs of grieving for their father and eagerly played football with Rosemary’s new man. The whole family had got excited when Oxford won the third wartime boat race on the River Ouse, leaving Janet feeling like an outsider.
Janet had imagined that Rosemary would still be grieving for her husband, but seeing her with the tall, handsome man in the garden that evening, she suspected that her friend was considering marriage.
It was time Janet thought about returning home to the pub. She’d been here for more than seven months now. Janet didn’t want to be in the way of a couple on the verge of making a new life together. It would be embarrassing for them if she walked in on intimate moments.
She’d warned her mother she might come back and asked to be given a different room. Janet couldn’t sleep in the bed where Mike had died. She hadn’t known what was happening until she started dressing and then turned to find him cold and still in her bed. Perhaps that was what hurt the worst, she thought, because she ought to have been aware – she ought to have held him in her arms as he slipped away, and it felt as if she’d let him down. Everyone would tell her that was stupid, because there was nothing she could’ve done; the doctor said it would have been quick and Mike hadn’t felt pain. It was his opinion that her husband had never known what was happening, but that didn’t make it any easier for Janet.
Mike had seemed to be so much better for a few days before that night. He was remembering little things, feeling loving and close to her and Maggie – and he’d gone chasing after Jack Barton when that awful man who had raped Ellie had been seen in the lane. Jack had intended to teach him a lesson and if Mike hadn’t chased him, he might have killed him. At first Janet had blamed Ellie for telling him: it was her fault Mike had gone off like that and Janet had felt that the furious running was the reason he’d died. She’d stopped thinking like that since she’d talked to Rosemary. It was strange how she could tell her friend things she could never have told her mother, which was unfair because Peggy was a loving, caring person and always ready to listen. Maybe it was that she cared too much, while Rosemary was able to look at things from a distance. Janet had needed that and she’d enjoyed helping with all her friend’s good causes. Maggie had been happier down here too, though she never asked about her father. Janet wasn’t sure if she remembered him, because he’d been around so seldom in her daughter’s life, and she’d been too distressed to talk to her about him. It had been easier to live here, away from the pub, but now she knew it was time to go home.
Rosemary needed to have time alone with the man she was falling in love with, and Janet needed to get on with her life. She’d stopped blaming herself for Mike’s death and she’d stopped blaming Ellie and the rest of the world. Her anger had burnt out and she’d reached the numb stage when she just managed to get through each day. If it hadn’t been for Maggie, she might have just sat in a corner and given up all interest in life, but her daughter was a lively child, always into mischief and asking for something.
‘What’s that, Mummy?’ was her favourite question. And, ‘Can I have…?’
Janet would tell Rosemary in the morning. She’d telephone her mother and tell her she was coming home – and she would stay for a while – but it was probably time she started to plan for the future. Janet knew that there was always a home for her in her mother’s house, but it was time she thought about finding a job that would support her and Maggie. She had a small pension from the Navy, but she would need to work – and she wanted to work. Like all women these days, she did part-time war work, a few hours with the WVS or working with the Red Cross, packing first-aid kits and parcels for men in prisoner-of-war camps. With a young child, Janet couldn’t do a full-time job, but with her pension and some part-time office work, she might be able to afford a small house in the suburbs – somewhere within a short bus ride or a train journey to see her mother once a week. Maggie liked train rides and she liked Grandma Peggy. She’d asked for her a few times lately, questioned when she was going to see her, and that was a part of the reason Janet had decided to go home for a while – just until she could find a home of her own.
Janet heard the telephone ringing and went to answer it.
‘Janet Rowan here,’ she said. ‘Rosemary is in the garden, I’ll fetch her for you if you wish, unless I can take a message…’
‘Janet… I heard you were staying with Rosemary…’ She felt a little tingle at the back of her neck as she heard Ryan Hendricks’ voice. He’d been a good friend to her in the past and she knew that he’d wanted to be much more, but when Mike had come home he’d taken a step back. ‘How are you?’
‘Ryan…’ She took a deep breath. ‘I’m all right – but it has been very hard. I knew what could happen, of course, but it was so sudden…’
‘Yes, I was terribly sorry when I heard. I didn’t like to telephone too soon, because I knew how you would be feeling – but I’m in Exeter this next week. May I come and see you one day?’
Janet hesitated. She liked Ryan but she’d put him out of her mind when Mike was ill. ‘I’m going back to London soon…’
‘I could take you home?’ Ryan suggested. ‘I’d like to meet for tea or something… and I’d be happy to take you and Maggie home. It would save you a long train journey. If we start early, we can break for lunch and drinks… and it’s ages since I’ve seen you…’
‘Yes, it is,’ Janet agreed. ‘All right – when do you want to come here?’
‘Say Thursday? I could put up overnight at a small hotel and then we can start out early on Friday morning…’
‘Very well,’ Janet agreed. ‘We’ve acquired quite a bit of stuff since we came down here. Rosemary has given Maggie some of the boys’ old toys and I was wonderin’ how best to get them home.’
‘I’m glad to be of service,’ Ryan said. ‘I’ll call on Thursday afternoon. We can all go out for tea – Rosemary too if she would like that – and then we’ll pack the car and be ready for an early start.’
‘Thank you – you always seem to turn up when I need help,’ Janet said. ‘Who told you I was stayin’ here?’
‘I’ve kept in touch with Rosemary all this time,’ Ryan said. ‘She told me she thought you were feeling a little better?’
‘Yes, being here has done me good,’ Janet said and there was a little break in her voice. ‘I had to get away from there…’
‘I do know what you’ve been through, Jan,’ Ryan said and his voice was a caress.
‘Yes, I know you do,’ she said, remembering the night he’d come to her in utter devastation after his family and his home had been destroyed by a bomb. ‘I didn’t ask how you are. I know you were abroad for a while…’
‘I had to sort out a problem for the Army. A lot of equipment and stores were going astray – and I’m glad to say that that particular problem is now behind bars and likely to stay there a very long time.’
‘It’s hard to imagine that someone would steal from our troops,’ Janet said, her interest awakened. ‘Sure
ly, everyone knows how important it is to get equipment and food to our men?’
‘You would think that,’ Ryan said. ‘But it happens all the time, though not in such a big way – a stolen pig or some eggs going astray is one thing, but hundreds of pounds’ worth of stores is another matter.’
‘It’s what you do, is it?’ Janet said. ‘You’re an inspector of some kind, making sure the black market doesn’t flourish…’
‘Something like that,’ Ryan said and she could hear the smile in his voice. ‘You know I can’t say too much – but I like to think of myself as a troubleshooter for Government departments.’
‘I don’t need to know,’ Janet said. ‘I always suspected you did something like that – your regular visits to Portsmouth – but I shan’t ask any more questions.’
‘Will you be putting Maggie in nursery school soon?’ Ryan asked. ‘Only I know of a decent place that takes young children for a few hours…’
‘I’m thinking of finding part-time work,’ Janet told him. ‘When I can afford it, I’ll look for a small house with a garden for Maggie. Rosemary has a wonderful garden here and Maggie loves it – but I don’t want to be too far from Mum. Somewhere we can visit her at least once a week…’
‘We’ll talk about it when I come down,’ Ryan said. ‘It’s lovely to talk to you again, Jan. I’ve thought about you a lot…’
He replaced the receiver at the other end without waiting for her reply. Janet frowned as she put down her end. She’d been surprised to hear his voice and it would be nice to be looked after on the journey back to London instead of having to struggle on and off a train with luggage and a small child – but she hoped Ryan didn’t expect anything more, because she wasn’t ready for a new relationship just yet.
*
‘I’m sorry to see you go,’ Rosemary told Janet when she gave her a basket filled with vegetables from the garden that had been stored over winter. ‘Although, I can tell you now that I’m going to be married – perhaps in the summer so that that the boys can enjoy the wedding and a seaside holiday – and then we’ll have a trip to Scotland nearer to next Christmas… Mack treats the boys as if they were his own and they all like skiing and hill walking. We can’t go to Austria at the moment. He’s a bit doubtful of Switzerland, because they’re neutral and that means we could meet Germans there so we’ll try Scotland… We can walk and enjoy the good food, salmon and game, even if the skiing isn’t brilliant…and there will be lovely log fires and good whisky.’
‘I suspected marriage might be on the cards for you,’ Janet said and hugged her. ‘Thanks so much for havin’ me all this time. I’m feeling a bit better, so I’ll go home and give Mum a hand – and I’ll look for a place of my own. It’s time I went to work I think…’
‘Yes, I had the same idea, but Mack had others and I gave in for the sake of the boys… they miss having a father and they’ve been happier since Mack started coming round. I like him an awful lot, but he isn’t John – if you understand what I mean?’
‘Do you love him?’ Janet asked.
‘I like him a lot and I enjoy being with him,’ Rosemary said in her forthright manner, as honest as always. ‘He’s attractive, a good lover and very attentive – and he gives me all the things I was missing. I don’t feel the way I did when I first married John, but I don’t think it’s necessary to be madly in love. I’m older now and I want the kind of life I would have had if John had lived. Mack will take me dancing, to the theatre and for holidays abroad once the war is over…’
‘I understand, well, I hope you’ll be very happy, Rosemary.’
‘I intend to be,’ she said and kissed her cheek. ‘We’re staying in the house. Mack is going to sell his property and we’ll buy a flat in London – or something overseas when this nonsense is finished… Mack’s aunt has a house in the south of Spain and he enjoys the life there.’
Janet nodded, turning to greet Ryan, who had finished stacking her luggage in the car and was waiting for her.
‘Maggie wants to sit in the front – shall you have her on your lap or take turns?’ he asked with a smile.
‘Oh, I’ll let her have a turn until we stop. She’ll get tired later and want to sleep on the back seat. Bye, Rosemary, thank you so much for having me to stay.’ She hugged her and Maggie gave her the small box of chocolates they’d managed to buy as a parting gift. ‘I really needed your help and I do feel better.’
‘I’m so glad, my dear,’ Rosemary said. ‘Remember what I told you…’ she whispered in Janet’s ear. ‘A passionate love affair isn’t necessary – take what you can get…’
Janet nodded, but she was frowning as she walked away, getting into the back seat as Maggie excitedly claimed the front seat next to Ryan. She seemed to have recognised him, though it was a long time since she’d seen him, and was quite happily calling him ‘Uncle Ryan’ and singing to herself. Janet realised that Maggie had seen far more of Ryan as a young child than she ever had of her father.
Rosemary’s confession had shocked her a little, because her friend had been so devastated by John’s death. Janet would never have expected her to remarry so soon or for the reasons she’d indicated. Janet didn’t think she would marry unless she fell in love again, and her heart still felt numbed and sore after the pain Mike’s tragic death had caused.
‘Are you all right in the back?’ Ryan turned his head to look at her.
‘Yes, I’m fine,’ she said. ‘The question is, will you be with Miss Chatterbox beside you?’
‘I’m happy as a sandboy,’ he said and smiled down at Maggie. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a brown paper bag, giving it to her. ‘I hope you like raspberry drops and barley sugar? I bought a mixture of sweets for you, Maggie.’
‘Clever thinking,’ Janet said and a soft laugh escaped her as Maggie popped a red sweet in her mouth. ‘Nothing else works half as well.’
Janet turned to wave as Ryan drove away. Maggie didn’t look back: she was perfectly happy because she felt safe with Ryan and her mother and she had some sweets. She’d talked excitedly of seeing Grandma Peggy but hadn’t mentioned the twins. Janet hoped she would be over her jealousy of them now and there would be no more clandestine visits to the cots to pinch their arms. She’d had to scold Maggie and smack her arm when she’d caught her pinching Fay, but she was nearly four now and hopefully it wouldn’t happen again.
Chapter 16
‘Jan will be home this evening,’ Peggy told Maureen when she popped in for a cup of coffee before catching her train down to Portsmouth. ‘I didn’t ask her to come, she rang me and told me she was on her way – and a friend is driving her up, so she doesn’t have to struggle with the luggage. Rosemary gave Maggie several toys and she wouldn’t have willingly left them behind.’ She sighed. ‘Apparently, she has a little present for the twins. I wasn’t able to give them much on their birthday, except for the knitted toys you made for me and a carved donkey and a rabbit that soldier made…’ Ben Walker had made several toys for Maureen’s shop, but most were too big for the twins’ little hands.
‘Maggie is a lucky girl,’ Maureen said. ‘Robin has had only a couple of new toys. All the other things he plays with were Shirley’s. It was her idea to give him her teddy, but he throws it out of his cot.’
‘I’ve given the twins some of Pip’s things, and I gave a few of his toys to the church sale so that other mothers could buy them; it’s sad for little ones whose mothers can’t even buy them a teddy bear…’
‘Well, I suppose some families don’t have the money, even if they were available,’ Maureen said and Peggy nodded. In the lanes there were families who struggled to pay the rent and put food on the table. ‘But I’ve given some of Shirley’s old clothes to the church, because lots of kids could do with them.’
Peggy nodded. Times were hard and they all had to do what they could to help each other. Peggy had given all her mother’s old clothes away now and things she’d had when she was young. Enterprising young mothers
could turn them into clothes for their kids.
‘How are you feeling, love?’ Peggy asked.
‘I’m fine, thank goodness. I need to be fit, travellin’ up and down on the train every few days.’
‘Let’s hope Gordon is transferred to London soon. It will make all the difference and you might even get him home by the summer.’
‘That would be wonderful,’ Maureen said. ‘What about you, love? Are things any better with Laurie?’
‘Yes, a little. We talked the other night and he was good with Fay – changed her nappy when she had tummy trouble. Laurie does most of the bar work and I just go in for an hour or so in the evenings, when the twins are asleep. It’s workin’ better than I thought. I’d forgotten how good it was to come down and have all the fires lit…’ She smiled. ‘It will be nice to have Janet back, though.’
‘I’m glad,’ Maureen said. ‘I wasn’t sure how you’d be when he first got back…’
‘I’m taking it one day at a time – and Rose is leaving, because they don’t get on – so I’ll be advertising for some help in the mornings. Nellie does all the cleaning and I need to look after the twins, so if I can get someone to muck in with the cooking a bit that will help…’
‘Won’t Janet will help with the kids when she gets back?’ Maureen asked. ‘I should think Maggie will go to school next spring. She’ll have plenty of time then.’
‘I think she might find herself a proper job once Maggie is at school – and she might want a home of her own, but she’ll be here for a while and that gives me time to find the right person.’
‘I manage my jobs and the children because I have Gran – but Jan would be on her own… I don’t think she’s realised how hard that can be.’
‘No, I’m sure she hasn’t,’ Peggy said. ‘But I’m not sure Jan could ever settle at the pub after what happened.’
