My Redemption: Second Chance Series

by S. K. Lessly

  My decision wasn’t received well by my father, but I didn’t care. The need to do something else with my life other than sit behind a desk had taken root and I wasn’t letting go. Being a firefighter was a strenuous job, difficult and very dangerous. However, I couldn’t see myself doing anything else with my life.

  I met Sabrina while I was attending college in New Brunswick, New Jersey. I had been in my second year and Sabrina was just a freshman. I adored Sabrina. She was beautiful, sweet, and smart, with a good heart. She had been an early childhood education major and I had been a business major with a full ride to play football. We had one class together, which was where we met and I fell in love with her fire, love for life, and most of all, her body.

  I loved curves on a woman. For some reason, to me, it meant I had hills and valleys to conquer. I saw myself spending the rest of my life with her the moment I met her.

  Sabrina had been nothing but supportive since the day I claimed her as mine. And when I decided to become a firefighter, she had stayed by my side through the academy, through the good times and the bad. She was my rock, which was the reason why I married her. I had loved her. That was true. I had also believed that we belonged together forever.

  For a few years, I leaned on that belief. I drew strength from my marriage, from my helpmate. Then things started to change. I had been working a lot and was gone days at a time, which had started to get to Sabrina. In the early years of our marriage, Sabrina was okay with my schedule. She understood my passion and wanted to support me. I also made everything better once I came home. We were still able to travel for long weekends here and there. However, once I became lieutenant, I began to work longer shifts and we weren’t able to travel as much.

  Sabrina felt the job had been getting to me mentally. I would come home some mornings and go straight to the basement to start on my remodeling project or I’d just go to sleep. When she asked about me closing myself off, I would just tell her that it was a way for me to decompress. She was right in her assessment, though.

  It wasn’t because I didn’t care about her or want to be around her. I didn’t want to burden her with the troubles of work. She would always tell me that she didn’t care about burdens. She just wanted me to be able to talk to her. I did for a little while, but Sabrina still believed I had been holding back. After that, the accusations of cheating started, which was the start of our downfall.

  I knew something had to give. I wasn’t sure how long I could stomach the way our relationship was deteriorating. It was up to me to make it better for the both of us. I just had to figure out how to do that. So far, I had no fucking clue.

  6

  Lauren

  Okay, I have a confession to make. Sebastian’s crew is pretty cool.

  I’d had a great time hanging out with them that first night, despite the fact that I was sharing my Sunday with a bunch of strangers. To be honest, as the night went on, they didn’t feel like strangers. By the end of the night, I had laughed so much that my abs hurt. Everyone made me feel welcome. In fact, I was so relaxed with them that I started going over the Logans’ place every Sunday with Sebastian.

  Sebastian had finally gotten comfortable leaving me alone with the fellas during the games. I got comfortable with the fellas as well and started turning up the trash talk, especially when our teams played each other.

  Samson and Tyler were always loud, easy going, comical, and dished the trash talk as well as they could take it. Paul could take it too but, in the beginning, he was quiet and distant. I didn’t ask him what was up. I kinda had an idea what was going on. I was the new kid on the block with a mouth that didn’t quit, invading his spot, but soon he seemed to loosen up. What was crazy was how he and I managed to do more trash talking amongst ourselves than with anyone else. He made me laugh all the time and he’d pick on me as soon as I stepped foot into his house.

  I finally met Tonya, Tyler’s wife, the week after I met everyone else. She was about the same height as me, but less curves. She had short hair, tapered on the sides and a little longer on the top. Her eyes were this warm shade of brown and she had a smile that could melt an iceberg. I loved her the moment we met. It was something in her eyes that told me everything I needed to know about her personality. The woman was easy to talk to, very laidback, despite her need to be glued to her husband’s hip. I had learned rather quickly she wasn’t a huge fan of football, but I didn’t hold it against her. She represented her hubby’s team, though. And she’d sat by him the whole first night we met.

  At first, I thought it was great that she supported her man, but Samson hinted that this was the norm for Tonya. She never let Tyler out of her site. I didn’t want to judge, but I had to admit her behavior was a bit strange and a little bit on the crazy, paranoid-wife side, but hell, I didn’t blame her. Tyler was hot as hell. I’d want to be up under him all the time too. Not that she had anything to worry about. From what I could tell, Tyler loved her being with him.

  After a few weeks of us spending our weekends hanging out and getting to know each other, Sebastian started orchestrating date nights with the crew. We’d managed to visit a couple of really nice jazz spots, one in Montclair and two located in downtown Newark. The chemistry among the group was amazing, despite the different personalities. I could feel a real friendship starting to develop amongst the group.

  And that’s how our twosome, Sebastian and I, became a, ahh ten-some. Was that a thing? Probably not, but whatever, you got my meaning, yes?

  Anyway, as the weeks and months drudged on, Sebastian and I spent a lot of time with our new friends, including part of the holidays. Typically, during the holidays, Sebastian and I split our time between our families. Thanksgiving we would visit my family and Christmas we'd visit his and then we'd rotate. This year we did it a little differently.

  Thanksgiving dinner was held at Tyler and Tonya’s house. They only lived a couple of blocks away from us. The ladies of the group, minus yours truly and David were in charge of the side dishes. We all pitched in on purchasing two nice-sized turkeys and a large ham. Sebastian cooked the ham, and surprisingly, Samson fried one turkey and baked the other. I had been told that Samson cooking the bird was tradition and after I tasted the fine poultry, I couldn’t argue with tradition. My oh my, both birds were out-of-this-world delicious, juicy, and seasoned to perfection.

  Much to my happiness, I had spent the day talking trash and getting drunk with my new best friends, Paul, Samson, and Tyler while the others slaved in the kitchen. Now, I wasn’t a complete slacker. I did some cooking. I had baked about eight pies for our feast, four sweet potato and four apple, as well as homemade dinner rolls. However, I had been smart enough to do my cooking the day before. Come Thursday morning, I had nothing else to do but relax.

  Even though I’d had a ball with my new family, I did miss spending Thanksgiving with my old one. Watching football was the only time my family and I were able to really connect. Ironically, we forgot about our differences for at least a few hours while we watched the games. That was the only time I felt equal among my siblings. But this new and extended family that was developing right under my nose made up for that in so many ways. I was grateful for that and them.

  For the Christmas holiday, Sebastian took a few days off so we could spend some time in Philly. We split our time between both of our families, and decided to go to his family’s house first. I loved my in-laws, I did, but watching them dote on their only child for hours on end always made me want to vomit in my mouth. I mean in their eyes, Sebastian could do no wrong. They worshiped the ground he walked on, and the man ate it up. I knew this was normal behavior for families, showing love for one another. There were times when I felt jealous of Sebastian. However, by the time we left to visit my family, I was actually looking forward to seeing them.

  The moment I walked through the doors of my childhood home, I beamed with excitement. I hadn’t seen my family in a long time and I had somewhat missed them. Consequently, it took about
ten minutes before my excitement died and we were at each other's throats.

  Let me quickly introduce my siblings. There were three of them. I couldn’t stand two of them, but one I adored. The oldest was Brian, better known to the family and the government as William. Why do I call him Brian, you ask? To make a long story short, I had called my brother Brian one day when I was four, I think, just to be a brat. I don’t have a clue why. Maybe I thought he looked like a Brian, who knows. In any case, I called him Brian and he hated it. He would run to my parents and whine all the time. Seeing how it affected him, and because I was brat, I kept calling him Brian and it stuck. Only I was the one that called him Brian. Everyone else called him Will or William.

  Brian was the attorney of the family. He and his hideous wife, Hilary, had spawned a demon child they’d named Will Junior or just Junior. He was five years old. And when I say the child was bad, I wasn’t exaggerating. Anything you could think of a kid getting in trouble for, this badass did. He clogged up my parents’ commode with wads and wads of toilet paper. He tried to blow us all up one Christmas by turning on all the gas eyes on the stove, even when he was told not to and why. He also loved to cuss. Let me tell you, the boy was a terrorist and had a mouth filthier than mine, but I loved him to death. He was so sweet to me and loving. You just had to know how to deal with him, which I did.

  Next, was my sister, Janet. Janet was the second shrink in the family, the first being my mother. Unfortunately, all the brains she possessed didn’t help her select a suitable life partner. She married a douche of a man that took up much-needed space in this world. He had zero spine, no personality, he looked dirty, and he had no common sense whatsoever.

  I couldn’t stand the asshat. I could see what he was worth, but for some reason, no one else could or they turned a blind eye. It made me sick to say but, he and my sister had created a beautiful little girl named Madison. Madison, who was six, had such an angelic face. When she smiled at you, it melted your heart. Behind the smile, she was a sneak and a destructive little something rather or other. She’d break shit, lamps, bowls, glasses, and blame Will Junior. She’d steal cookies, candy, pretty much anything you told her not to touch, her opposite ass did. Then she would blame her younger cousin and people would believe the little sneakster because Junior was so bad.

  I had to give it to her, though. Her cunning ability to manipulate the adults around her was a gift. She’d tried that shit on me one day, but I shut her down quickly. You couldn’t bullshit a bullshitter. She had learned that the hard way when I put a belt to her ass.

  I had no problem whipping these kids. Janet, Brian, and my parents had decided to use alternative discipline tactics, which was the reason why these kids terrorized everyone. I believed in the old-fashion way: beat they ass and they’ll listen!

  Now, my younger older brother had two of the best-behaved kids I’d ever met. Mark was the brains of the four of us. He was also the second medical doctor of the family. He had decided to follow in my father’s footsteps, making the old man proud as could be. Mark had married a beautiful and wonderful woman named Maria. Maria and my brother had a set of twins that were seven years old. They were so adorable, well-behaved, and smart.

  The only weird thing about my brother and his wife was that they’d named their kids after themselves. Yes, that’s right Mark and Maria had named their twins, Maria and Mark Junior. Don’t ask what they were thinking, I couldn’t tell you. Naturally, we called Mark Junior MJ or Mark Junior. Unfortunately, we had to think of a nickname for his sister. We had tried calling her by her middle name, Francis. But lil’ Miss Francis, when she got older, hated being called by her middle name and so did her mother. So, we were forced us to call the little girl Lil’ Maria or Baby M or Maria the second. It’s odd and weird, but that was Mark and Maria.

  The fact that I loved my brother and my beautiful nieces and nephews, was the only reason why I stayed over my parents’ house longer than I wanted; that and Sebastian made me. Spending time with my nieces and nephews had made this trip worth it. I actually spent more time with them than I did with the adults. I loved the little terrors deeply and they adored their auntie. Trust me. I usually gave the best Christmas and birthday gifts and I didn’t put up with their shit.

  Despite seeing their lovely faces and spending time loving on them, I couldn’t wait to get back home. I had never felt like I fit in with my family. I had been sort of an outsider throughout my childhood and it’d carried over into my adulthood. My siblings were very successful doctors and a lawyer. I was just getting by teaching and they reminded me of that every chance they got.

  Sebastian thought I was imagining things when I used to complain to him about the way my family treated me, especially my sister and oldest brother. The disappointment, rejection, and loathing were gleaming in their eyes when they looked at me. You couldn’t deny it, even though Sebastian had tried. He had claimed that they were hard on me because they loved me.

  What a load of shit. My siblings rode me because they hated me. Why? I couldn’t tell you. Or rather I could, but we'd be here forever.

  Moving on…

  New Year’s Eve rolled around and Sebastian and I brought in the New Year in the confines of our home, for which I was grateful. Sebastian had wanted to go to some of the many parties he had been invited to in the city. Instead, he decided to do what I wanted, which was sit at home, have some wine and a nice dinner. Then we would watch the ball drop on our comfortable couch.

  I was hoping we would be able to bring in the New Year with me on my back or stomach or on all fours and Sebastian between my thighs, but he’d ended up falling asleep before the ball even dropped. I tried to get him up, but he was drunk out of his mind and could barely aim in the toilet straight.

  Have you heard of the superstitious saying that went something like, if your pockets are empty when the New Year comes in, you’ll be broke the entire new year? Well, that’s how I felt about sex. I was hoping to have my husband’s arms around me, sweating and panting as he pounded into me while the clock struck midnight. That didn’t happen. Instead, the pattern continued. I went to sleep alone dreaming about it instead.

  Was this what the future held for me?

  Was my girlie parts going to collect cobwebs and dry up?

  Fuck, I hoped not.

  On a cold Saturday night in January, the crew, minus two, was sitting around in Paul’s dungeon, drunk, listening to music. We decided this weekend to have our couples’ night on a Saturday instead of Sunday so we could get completely shitfaced and not have to worry about work the next day.

  Paul had done some remodeling in the basement over the last few months. He’d added a cozy seating area and a stone gas fireplace on the far end of the room, opposite the TVs and bar. During construction, we took over the upstairs space with our shenanigans. Tonight was the first night we saw the finished product.

  I was very impressed with Paul's remodeling skills. The man was talented. He had an eye for style and was able to bring this no doubt drab basement to life expertly. Seriously, you couldn’t tell this was a basement at all. The ambiance down here screamed cozy and romantic on one end and neighborhood sports bar on the other. I made a mental note to see how much he would charge to work on our house. Now that he was done down here, I was hoping he’d be free to work on another project like gutting and remodeling my kitchen.

  Oh, a girl could dream, couldn’t she?

  Alright, back to the drunks. We were all sprawled out circling the now lit fireplace. Sebastian and I were stretched out on a very comfortable leather couch. My husband had his arm around me and I was lying between his legs with my back resting on his chest. Paul and his wife were snuggled in a wide lounge chair made for two, his arm around her shoulders and her head on his chest. He was whispering things in her ear and she just smiled contently. Tank and his wife were sitting in the loveseat next to us wrapped up like we were and Tyler and Tonya were lying on the floor by the fire place. We had just finished playin
g a stupid drinking game that we’d all pretty much lost. I wasn’t sure about everyone else, but I was ready to get home. I had been feeling a little freaky and I wanted to try out all of the freaky ideas running in my head on my husband.

  I smiled knowingly and leaned in close and whispered in Sebastian ear, “Let’s go.” I rubbed his leg and kissed his neck.

  He smiled at me and patted my leg in return saying, “In a minute, okay?”

  I looked up at him and tried not to get pissed. This was becoming a pattern with him. He kept passing off my advances as if he didn’t want to be with me. I sighed and moved off Sebastian. Every other couple was snuggled together, hinting on a night filled with passionate drunk sex for them, but not us, though. No, my night would be filled with wet dreams and broken promises.

  I took in the couples around me, trying not to feel jealous. When my eyes drifted over to Paul and Sabrina, I found Sabrina’s eyes closed and Paul looking over at me.

  He looked away quickly but not quick enough. Had he seen Sebastian give me the shaft or rather deny me the shaft? The fact that he was now avoiding me told me he had seen everything. How embarrassing.

  “Hey, guys, I have an idea,” Sebastian announced, bringing me out of my pity party. He swung his legs off the couch and leaned forward, placing his elbows on his thighs while he waited until he had everyone's attention.

  “So, my firm owns a huge house at this really great resort in the Poconos on Blue Mountain. Why don’t we go out there for an extended weekend?” He looked around at the faces in front of him, excitement seemingly leaking from his pores.

  “When are you talking about going?” Paul queried. “My schedule is crazy. I need to know in advance.”

  Samson nodded and chimed in, “Yeah, me too.”

  Paul and Samson worked at the same fire house as lieutenants, Samson a lieutenant of the rescue squad for their house, Paul was the lieutenant of engine company. I’d had no idea about the difference until I looked it up. A rescue squad within a fire house was the company that handled all rescue situations, using heavy equipment like hand tools and saws for firefighting. They handled extractions from cars, buildings, and even water-type rescues. Engine companies were the ones that actually fought the fires using hoses and tools too. They searched for survivors in burning buildings and homes as well as and ventilated buildings to contain fires, which helped others in the trenches fight the fire better.