My Redemption: Second Chance Series

by S. K. Lessly

  I narrowed my eyes on him. What?!

  “Then what,” I replied quickly, trying to not let my anger show. I understood him feeling bad for his friend but what he just said… no… “Paul, it would have been you lying in the hospital fighting for your life instead. Is that what you want?”

  Paul got up from the stool. “That would have been fine with me.” He began walking backwards, away from the bar, his face dark and impassive. “He has a family, Lauren. He has three kids and five grandkids. They need him!”

  “And your family doesn’t need you?” I countered quickly.

  “You know what I mean,” he bit back, but I didn’t know what he meant. Losing him wasn’t an option. Call me selfish but no way was I losing him.

  Paul rested his body against the opposite wall, facing me. He folded his arms over his heaving chest and lowered his chin. Paul was getting lost in his head, I could see it clear as day. I had learned a lot about Paul over the months, despite what he had said at the beach. The guilt he was feeling, and I knew that’s what this was, would eat at him for a long time if he continued to wallow. I needed to do something. This wasn’t his fault. I took a deep breath and came from behind the bar.

  “Was this guy a rookie or a vet?”

  He sighed. “He wasn’t new to the job. He's been a fire fighter a lot longer than me.”

  I nodded my head as if he was making my point for me then asked. “Uh-huh, and did this guy train you?” I received another sigh as he nodded. I continued. “And he knew what you would do right? He knew you would have his back no matter what?”

  He said nothing, which I knew he wouldn’t.

  “Paul, you all risk your lives to save complete strangers every day. You purposefully enter buildings engulfed in fire, or situations that would be dangerous in order to save someone’s life. It’s not just what you do, it’s who you are.” I walked closer to him so I could see his face more clearly. I needed his eyes on mine for this. He had to see and feel what I was saying to him. “I don’t know Vargas but I know you and if you are the product of him, I know for a fact he was doing what he was born to do, save lives. He put his life ahead of the people around him, just like you would’ve done.”

  I reached up to caress his face and this time he let me. I wiped the silent tears from his cheek with my thumb. I asked him softly, “How many people did you find in that apartment, total?”

  “Four,” he replied softly.

  “And do you think he would’ve been satisfied with saving four or two?”

  Paul breathed out, deflated and closed his eyes.

  “What if he doesn’t make it?” he asked me softly.

  “Pray that he does, that’s all you can do.”

  His eyes opened on my words and studied me. “Yeah, but what if it doesn’t work. I mean what if…” I saw the emotion creep back in his eyes and he turned from me.

  I placed both hands along his face and turned his head so his eyes were back on mine. I rubbed his face, feeling the prickle of his stubble on my palms. The pain that covered this strong, courageous man was breaking my heart. A stir of emotions began to flood my own body and I tried to hold back the tears.

  “If that doesn’t work,” I began, my voice but a whisper on trembling lips. “Then you’ll be there for his family, do you hear me?” I caressed his face, dying to take away the pain he felt, wanting to comfort him, to hold him. I ached for this man, seeing the despair in his dark eyes. I straightened my back and put a little bit of confidence in my voice, even though all I felt was helplessness.

  “That’s what you do for each other. You have each other’s back. You will do everything you can to make sure his family is well taken care of by the department. That’s what you’ll do. It’s what he would've done for you too if the roles were reversed, yes?”

  I nodded my head, hoping he would agree with me and follow suit and he did. I wasn’t sure what the protocol was for situations like this, but I assumed whatever it was, Paul would rise to the occasion.

  Paul wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him tight as he buried his face in the crock of my neck.

  “Everything’s going to be okay.” I ran my fingers through his short hair, letting my nails rake his scalp. “Let’s not think worse case. Pray he will be okay. Pray for his family. Be strong for his family.” I continued to whisper words of encouragement close to his ear as I did my best to console him. I rubbed his back with one hand and kept raking my fingers through the short soft hair at the back of his head.

  When he lifted his head, we were so close, I could feel his breath on my face. His heavy blue eyes dropped down to my lips and lingered there for what felt like a gazillion heartbeats, before he shifted his eyes to mine. The look that suddenly accosted his handsome face caused my heart to pick up its pace. My breath accelerated with anticipation and I could feel those mangy butterflies taking flight in my stomach.

  I didn’t move my eyes from his, however, despite the shift I felt happening between us. The air around us was becoming unstable, thick and needy, but I didn’t move. Goosebumps flooded my flesh; my mouth went dry but… I didn’t move. The tension between was on the verge of consuming us both. All we needed was a spark and poof…

  I needed to step back from him, that’s what I kept telling myself. I needed to put much needed space between us. But… again, I didn’t move. Instead, I placed my hands back along his cheeks. I took a deep breath and… became that spark we needed.

  I reached up and lightly pressed my lips to his. I didn’t stay there long, just enough to inhale the scent of cognac from his lips, along with soot and raw masculinity. Being this close to him, this connected to him was making my head spin with excitement, fear and most of all desire. I literally felt my body shiver.

  When I pulled back from his lips, I didn’t go far. I closed my eyes, rested my forehead against his chest and reveled in his touch as his hands traveled along my sides, my hips. It felt amazing to be this close to him. To feel his heart race, and to know that he was just as affected by me as I was by him.

  I didn’t want to move from this spot. His touch mixed with the heat I felt coming off his body made the butterflies in my stomach feel like hawks in flight.

  What am I doing? I asked myself. I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t want this but, fuck I do. I want more.

  Paul’s hands continued to travel along my body, ending at the curves of my face. He tilted my face up so I could look at him. My eyes remained closed, afraid of what I was going to see if I opened my eyes. I didn’t want to see rejection or pity. I desperately wanted him to want me. I wanted to feel what it’s like to have someone long for me again, to crave me, and desire me. That hadn’t happened in… shit in a very, very long time. The need for Paul to want me like that was so overwhelming, I couldn’t breathe.

  I just… God, I just wanted him.

  I heard him whisper my name and the desperation in his voice caused my eyes to open. What I saw laced in his gaze made my breath hitch in my throat. I breathed out slowly, despite the rapid beating of my heart, and held his gaze.

  Callous fingers brushed against my cheek as he continued to study me intently, never wavering his eyes from mine. I gripped his turnout pants at his hips, in a tight fist against his waist, more so to keep me upright than anything else.

  His touch lit my entire body on fire. Goosebumps invaded my flesh, as my core raged on, craving for more of his touch.

  His eyes drifted down to my lips and I couldn’t help teasing just a little. I licked my lips and watched as Paul followed the movement, his eyes darkening, his grip tightening.

  “Lauren…” he growled, a warning laced in his voice. He walked me backwards until my back hit the wall behind me. I caressed him over his t-shirt, running my hands along his sides to his back, caressing taunt muscles that made me whimper slightly.

  Paul groaned, closed his eyes and looked as if he was about to lose control. When he ope
ned his eyes and they fell on me, I knew the battle had been lost.

  Paul tilted my chin up as he stepped closer to me, trapping my body between his and the wall. He leaned in closer to me, the space between us diminishing slowly, painfully.

  When his lips were inches from mine, he asked me, his voice but a whisper on my parted lips, “Sebastian?”

  My brows furrowed at the question at first. But then it hit me what he was asking and I replied softly, “Gone. Sabrina?”

  Paul’s eyes closed and I could see his cheeks rise up in what I could only assume was the result of a smile.

  “Gone.”

  I breathed out because I… shit, I felt relieved at the confirmation.

  I started to tell him just how much I was relieved, when Paul’s lips captured mine in a kiss that had me melting into him. His touch was tentative at first, kissing my top lip then bottom before lightly brushing his soft lips back and forth against mine. The kiss was gentle, sweet. I felt that he was feeling me out, relishing in the softness of our union.

  But the thing was, I wanted more. This slow shit was driving me insane. I’d been waiting for this moment since the time he kissed me at the beach. No way was I going to let him take this slow. I wanted it hard and deep and I needed that shit now.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and raked my fingernails through his short hair. I moaned into his mouth, hoping that would push him to take me. My plan didn’t work right away. I could feel his hesitation. He was teetering on self-control and needed a little encouragement and because I loved being helpful, I slowly traced his lips with my tongue just to give him a bit encouragement. A growl rumbled deep in his chest after my little stunt and he immediately became the aggressor.

  Yesss….

  19

  Lauren

  Paul’s fingers tangled themselves in my hair and tightened hard enough for a gasp to escape my throat. He tilted my head just the way he wanted and devoured my mouth just the way I needed. This kiss was sheer dominance and one of the most heated kisses I had ever felt.

  God, the way he was kissing me, how he was taking charge and tongue fucking my mouth had my pussy throbbing with want. I moaned deep into his mouth, gripped the back of his neck and t-shirt as best as I could and kissed the hell out of him back.

  I had never in my life been kissed this thoroughly. Most guys I'd been with would have their lips plastered on mine with force and it would be sloppy or annoying. At times it had been so bad, I’d stop them from kissing me altogether hoping they’d turn me on some other way, but not tonight. Tonight, Paul’s lips alone were getting me hot and bothered.

  “Paul,” I mumbled his name against his lips as his hands roamed my body, caressing my sides, my back, and ass. He squeezed the generous flesh of my backside and pushed his hardness against me, allowing me to feel just how much I was affecting him.

  Oh God…

  I separated from his lips on a gasp, my eyes large as hell as I took in his features. He grinded into me again and my whole body shivered. Shit, was that all him I felt against me? Dizzy with desire, shocked as hell at the feel of him, I couldn’t help but look up at him in surprise. Paul smirked at me before he buried his face in my neck and began sucking and licking sensitive parts right underneath my earlobe.

  I gasped and gripped him tight, my knees buckling from the pure pleasure coursing through me.

  “Paul,” I murmured softly as heat coiled inside me. His touches and kisses were my complete undoing. My pussy throbbed, wanting the same attention as my body was getting. When he pinched my already sensitive and pebbled nipples through my dress, I cried out in ecstasy.

  He was becoming too much for me to handle, this was becoming too much and yet I craved for more. I fisted his shirt tight in my trembling hands just as his lips connected with mine again. His tongue immediately pushed into my mouth expertly demanding my submission and I gave it to him willingly.

  I couldn’t begin to explain how good this felt. How good he felt up against me. I forgot who he was; I even forgot who I was. I didn’t care about anything, I just wanted him inside me.

  I raised my leg and wrapped it around him as he gripped my thigh and squeezed. He released my lips then traveled down my neck again, moaning, biting, licking, sucking and driving me insane.

  I hugged him tight and tried to make our bodies become one as I moved my hips against him searching for friction, needing it. I wanted to feel how much his whole body wanted me. I wanted to be sure that the throbbing and wetness between my legs would be met with his desires for me. And goodness, once I felt his hardness through his pants, I almost whimpered in elation.

  Damn it, if he didn’t make a move right now, I didn’t know what I would do. As if he sensed my frustration, he stopped kissing my neck and looked me in my eyes. Fear crept in me as I thought he would back away and stop but he didn’t. Instead, he gripped the sides of my dress, bunched the fabric in his fist and lifted the hem of my dress, revealing my black satin G-string panties. The look of hunger that covered his face, the need, lust and avidity that filled his eyes warmed me. He looked at me as if he wanted to taste every inch of me.

  Goodness yes…

  Paul licked his lips, which by the way just about did me in, and without taking his eyes off mine, plunged his fingers inside my damp panties. His fingers skidded over my clit right before he delved two fingers inside me. My eyes rolled in the back of my head and I moaned softly as his fingers moved in and out of me with expert precision.

  I was never the one that enjoyed getting fingered. I had always thought it was a white woman thing, but the talented way this man was strumming my sex had my knees going weak. The kisses that he rained down on my neck mixed with his fingers were pushing me over the edge. I needed to return the favor. I wanted to make Paul feel like he was about to explode from the inside out, just like I was. I reached for him, trying to feel him through his clothes, but his turnout pants were stopping me. I unsnapped the button holding his pants against his hips and as they fell to the ground, I went for his uniform pants. Damn, he has too many clothes on.

  I could feel his hard length against my fingers and fuck if I didn’t move faster to free him. But I got as far as getting his zipper down before Paul leaned away from me. He gripped my wrists with his free hand and raised my arms above my head, pinning them against the wall. I didn’t fight my position. This feral of a man was taking what he wanted and all I could do was pant, moan and circle my hips against his talented fingers.

  We held each other’s gaze as my climax began to build deep in my soul. God, it’s been months, almost a gotdamn year, and I felt it coming with such force I wasn’t sure I would be standing when it hit.

  “Oh… Paul. Yes, please you feel so good… please don’t stop. Oh please, please…” I was a begging, whimpering mess. Heat was surging through my body, sweat coating my skin. I was beyond ready for this man.

  My pussy walls clamped around his talented fingers and I watched in satisfaction as his eyes grew darker, harder, and hungrier.

  He groaned deeply and whispered, his voice deep and low, “Damn, your pussy feels so good. I can’t wait to be inside you, baby. You wanna come?”

  I nodded vigorously as my hips picked up its pace and my leg tightened around his leg. Once my hold tightened, I could have sworn his fingers went deeper inside me. Touching that sensitive spot that, hell, I thought was a fairy tale told by horrible, mean-spirited female authors.

  My eyes grew large and I felt my heart picking up its pace. A tingling sensation started to build from the tips of my toes and traveled up my body as he moved faster, fucking me harder. I thrashed my head from side to side, unable to do anything else because of the tight hold he had against my wrist. Damn it, I wanted to touch him; I wanted to hold on to him, hold on something, anything. The pressure building was too much, fuck it was too…

  “Oh, fuck! Oh fuck! I’m almost there… I’m comin’… I’m…”

  “Cum, baby. Let me feel your sweet tight puss
y squeeze the fuck out of my fingers.”

  And…that was all I needed. The bass in his voice, the salacious way he sounded saying the word fuck and I did exactly what he commanded. I came so hard my entire body shook as I cried out in ecstasy. I was still panting as he continued to finger my wetness, my sweet desires running along my thighs and probably his fingers too. I didn’t care. God, he felt good.

  Paul let go of my wrists and I wrapped my arms around his neck as I felt my body tensing up for another explosion.

  “Oh fuck, Paul…”

  Stars erupted behind my eyelids as wave after wave of pleasure drowned my body. My breaths were coming quick as my high came down but Mr. Logan wasn’t done. I couldn’t tell you when it happened, when he freed himself, but before I caught my breath, I was lifted up in the air, my legs immediate circling his waist. He then moved my panties to the side, pulled his lower body away from me then pushed inside me with one. hard. stroke.

  “Holy, hell!” I cried out in shock, pleasure and utter surprise.

  My grip around his neck tightened as I tried to catch my breath from the invasion of this very, very gifted man. Fuck, he was consuming me. I knew he was blessed with something I would enjoy, I could tell that when my fingers brushed up against him, and when he grinded against me. However, I didn’t expect this! He filled me so completely, stretched me deliciously and I… damn I wasn’t ready.

  Paul’s hands gripped my ass tight as he stilled, I swear, just so he could torture me. I wanted him to move. I needed him to move. However, the intense growl I heard from him had me keeping my thoughts to myself.

  “Look at me, Lauren,” he demanded.

  I did as I was told and lifted my head from his neck, my arms still tight around him.

  “Keep your eyes on me as I fuck you.”

  Damn that was hot…

  Again, I did as ordered as he shifted his hips away from my body only to drive into me hard. Again. I fought the urge to close my eyes as I held on for dear life while this unbelievable strong man sent me into heavenly bliss against a wall, with his pants down to his ankles and my panties to the side.