"You don't have to apologize," Daniel said.
He was being a gentleman, but I needed him to hear my sorrow and regret. "I know. I knew you would say something like that, but this is one of those times where I did wrong and I need to apologize for it."
"Okay," he said. "I can respect that."
A few seconds of silence passed.
"I should have treated you better," I said. "I took our friendship for granted, and I'm sorry about it. I should have done better."
"Thank you," he said.
"I'm really happy to hear you're happy, though. And that you made it through everything all right. Did you have to go through some hard stuff over there, in Vietnam?"
"Yes, I did," he said. He spoke with such calm certainty that I knew he was telling the truth.
"Anything you want to talk about?" I asked.
"Uh… huh?"
"Is there anything you would want to tell me? Anything you'd like to get off your chest from over there? Or anywhere?"
"Uhhh." Daniel made a hesitant noise, and then cut off with a chuckle. I could hear him hesitating. "No, I don't guess," he said. "They have special people for me to talk to about that stuff."
"Why, because it's top secret?"
"No, because it's not anything you'd want to hear."
"Try me," I said.
"Abby, let's just put it this way. I saw stuff I will never talk about again. Not even to those people who are trained to ask me about it. Certain details of battle, I'm just gonna keep to myself. As far as catching you up on me and what I'm doing, I'm good. I had something happen to my right leg, and at first they told me I wouldn't walk again, but I've been real persistent with healing it, and it's doing good. I barely have a limp now. Most people don't even notice. I'm able to jog on it and everything."
"Your mom didn't say anything about you getting hurt."
"She doesn't know the extent of it. I don't tell her most of the stuff I go through. There's no sense in her worrying."
I felt a pain in my heart. I should've been there for him. I should've been the person he could tell about things he went through. I didn't say anything else, though. I had already apologized, and I didn't want to keep harping on it.
"Did you have to fight in actual battles?"
"Yes."
"Were you scared?"
"Yes, I was," he said with a little chuckle.
"Were there times you thought you wouldn't come home?" I asked.
"Yes, there were those times." He was answering in short answers, but he was speaking slowly, like he wasn't in a hurry to get off the phone.
Daniel and I talked for two hours that afternoon. We asked each other questions and took turns answering them. We answered honestly, but we kept the conversation light. He told me some of his non-battle experiences of being in the military, and I told him some about my life as a teacher.
I didn't ask him about the girl he was dating. I respected that he was talking to someone else, and I didn't flirt with him or anything, but I also didn't bring her up or encourage their relationship in any way.
We talked for so long that by the end of it, I felt a lot better. Daniel was a gentleman—a kind, considerate, funny, well-rounded man. I had taken him for granted, I had made a mistake, but at least he had turned out great. I would have felt a lot worse if I had done what I did and he wound up having all sorts of troubles. Not that it was about me, but I did feel better after talking to him.
Chapter 4
Three months later
Thanksgiving
Galveston Island, TX
For the last few years, Tess and Billy had been hosting Thanksgiving at their house in Galveston. Our mom always wanted us to be in Starks for Christmas, but Thanksgiving was the holiday that Tess and Billy could share with some of their close friends in Galveston. Marvin Jones was one of them. He was a famous boxer from the forties and also Billy's head coach, mentor, and friend. There were always others from the gym, too. It had become a tradition in the last couple of years, and now we all just assumed we were having Thanksgiving with Billy and Tess.
I had the entire week off school, so I went a day early to help Tess plan, buy groceries, and prepare the dishes. Everything took longer nowadays since she had a three-month-old baby.
Billy had been right. She gave birth to a daughter—a beautiful black-haired girl named Tara Grace. I called her Tara-bo-bara and things like that. She was the most precious thing ever, and Billy and Tess were in love.
Counting family, we were expecting to feed thirteen to fifteen people. Matty and Tony, two of Billy's friends from way back, said they'd just be stopping by. But we knew from experience that they wouldn't turn down a plate of food. Quentin from the gym was coming, and he might or might not be bringing his girlfriend and her sister.
All these guests were fine by us because Tess, our mother, and I all loved Thanksgiving. We loved cooking the traditional Thanksgiving meal with turkey, ham, veggies and casseroles. We enjoyed serving a holiday feast, and Tess and Billy's friends always seemed eager to eat with us.
Our mother would start cooking her share of the meal back home in Louisiana before dawn on Thursday. Then she'd transport the hot dishes to Galveston Thursday morning. Tess and I would take care of everything else except the rolls, which Marvin would make from scratch and bring over when he came.
We planned on eating a late lunch so that everyone had enough time to arrive and get nice and hungry. I loved Thanksgiving, and I had been looking forward to this meal and this fellowship for months. It was almost 1pm, and most of the guests had already arrived. We were missing Dizzy and his wife, but they were on their way. We were also missing Matty and Tony, but we didn't expect them to be there before we got started.
In general, I wore a lot of skirts and dresses. I wore pants, too, but I liked how skirts looked on me and I felt comfortable in them. I had on a denim skirt with red tights and a striped sweater. I was wearing the colors of fall, and I felt festive and in good spirits.
I was feeling that way right up until 1pm on the dot when Billy came up to us in the kitchen and said, "Daniel's here."
Panic.
Instant panic.
"Daniel King?" I asked, my head whipping around to face Billy when he said it. "Daniel King?" I repeated when he didn't answer right away. I would have never dreamed Billy would say that. I didn't even know Daniel was in Galveston. I looked at Billy who was now nodding in answer to my question.
"I wasn't going to say anything," Billy said. "I invited him last week, and he said he'd come. I was just gonna let him come in and surprise everybody. But he called a few minutes ago to see if we needed anything, and he told me he's got his lady friend with him."
"He's bringing a date?" Tess asked.
I glanced at her to find that she was looking at Billy with wide eyes. She blinked.
Billy nodded. "His friend from Georgia. Kelly. I figured we had plenty for one more. I mean, it's not like we'll run out of food."
"I know we won't run out of food, but…" Tess trailed off and looked at me, asking me without saying a word if I was okay. Billy had other things to do, so he wasn't paying attention to our facial expressions. Marvin was across the room, in the middle of telling a story, and he was yelling over to Billy for confirmation on something.
I was stirring the gravy. It was the final thing I was working on, and I needed to concentrate to get it right.
But how was I supposed to concentrate?
How could Daniel bring a woman over here?
What was I supposed to do?
Should I stay?
Could I stay?
I wasn't even sure if I could muster up the will to stay and sit through lunch with him sitting next to another girl.
Of course I would stay.
There was no other choice but to stay.
I had been in a good mood all morning, and it would be weird and completely obvious if I up-and-left right after Billy gave me that bit of information. I knew I had to sta
y, and at the same time, I just didn't know if I could. I felt compelled to leave before they got there. I wanted to be gone and not have to see either of them.
Why would he do that?
Why would he come here with another girl?
Why did I care?
I had no right to care. I stirred the gravy non-stop, my thoughts swimming as I stared at the swirling liquid. A few minutes ago, I was starving, and now I didn't feel like eating at all.
I had to get out of there. I would make up an excuse and leave. I had a good friend named Evelyn who was spending Thanksgiving with her family. I usually went by there later in the afternoon. I would simply bump up my plans and go now. I knew I'd be welcome over there.
"I might leave," I said, turning to speak directly to my sister who was standing beside me.
She had just taken the ham out of the oven, and she was in the process of taking off her oven mitts. Our mom was standing across the way holding the baby. Dad was looking over her shoulder. People were having conversations. No one was paying attention to me. No one would have really even noticed if I slipped out.
"Why?" Tess asked. "Because of Daniel? I didn't know you were so broken up about it. Did you try talking to him?"
"Yes," I whispered. "And I'm too nervous to stay."
"No, you're not," Tess said. "It's just Daniel."
"Yeah," I said, nodding casually even though I didn't feel casual at all. Tess didn't know how much I had been thinking about him, and I didn't plan on telling her. She knew I had talked to Daniel a few months ago when I apologized, but she had no idea how much he had been on my mind or that I was still plagued by regret. No one did.
I hadn't seen him in so long that I had no idea what to expect. He could have scars or a beard and I would know nothing of it. It was possible that I wouldn’t recognize him at all. I pictured him walking in with his Army uniform on.
"I think it's ready," Tess said, leaning in front of me to turn off the stove. I glanced at her to find that she was looking at my gravy.
My head was swimming.
I was normally a rational, resilient human being.
I had no idea why I was reacting like this.
I was out-of-my-mind with nerves.
"Listen, I'm going to stay as long as I can, but if I sneak out, just please don't make a big deal about it."
"Why would you sneak out, Abigail? Where would you go?"
"Evelyn's. Her parents have a lot of people over every year."
Tess already knew that, so she nodded, but she was looking at me like she didn't quite understand. "Are you mad that Daniel's bringing his girlfriend?"
"I'm not mad, I'm just… I don't know what I'm going to feel. I don't know what to expect. I haven't seen him in a long time."
And within seconds, I heard him come in the door. Just as that was happening, Billy made the announcement that we would gather in the kitchen, so things got louder and louder as ten or twelve people made their way in there with us. Tess and Billy had a large, two-story Victorian home, but it felt a lot smaller with all those people standing in the kitchen with us.
I knew Daniel had come in. I could tell by how the energy in the room shifted, and I could hear people talking to him and saying his name. I even glanced at the area near him and saw the edge of his arm, but I couldn't bear to look at him.
There were enough people in the room that I didn't have to make a spectacle just to remain unseen. Our parents had gotten closer to me with all the shifting, and I easily hid behind my father, putting him between Daniel and myself when everyone moved into the room. I looked again and caught a glimpse of his side, just enough to notice that he wasn't wearing an army uniform. It looked like he had on jeans and a t-shirt.
I couldn't help but notice the blonde standing next to him. She was Barbie-doll blonde, Marilyn Monroe blonde. I could not bring myself to look at either of them.
Fine. I looked at her. Just a glance. Oh, gosh. She was really pretty. Of course she was.
I hated her instantly. I already had bad thoughts about her before today. I had decided that she stalked Fort Benning, waiting for the perfect man to go through there, and when he did, she dug her claws into him. Seeing her only made it worse. I knew all my worst fears were true. She made herself into a perfect girl so she could stalk and trap the perfect Army guy.
I glanced at her again, and she was smiling brightly and talking to Dizzy, who was standing near her. She was probably the nicest person in the world, and I was just making all this up about her having devious plans.
I still didn't like her. I couldn't help it. I wasn't going to treat her badly, but I had no desire to talk to her. I hated her for being smarter than me, which was probably a weird sort of compliment, or at least a form of respect.
I had these sorts of thoughts while Billy and my sister said a few things about Thanksgiving and how happy they were to have everyone at their house.
They introduced Tara. I looked straight at the baby, smiling and trying to seem normal even though I was out-of-my-head with nerves. Moments ago, I had been stirring gravy casually while in a great mood, and now I was stiff and cripplingly distracted with my blood rushing and my thoughts swimming.
I absentmindedly listened to Billy and Tess. Their speech ended with announcing that everyone could get in line to serve themselves in the kitchen before taking plates to the dining room, living room, or wherever they could find a spot.
We had an amazing lineup of food, and as soon as Tess stopped talking, everyone began murmuring about how good everything looked and smelled as they shifted to get in line.
There were two ways in and out of the kitchen, thank goodness. I took off my apron, stashed it on a nearby countertop before slipping out of the kitchen using the exit that was nowhere near Daniel. I went toward the dining room. I would have to walk through it to get to the hallway, but that was no problem.
Quentin's girlfriend and her sister were in the dining room, and I smiled at them and mumbled something about going to use the restroom. But they didn't care, they just smiled at me and headed to the kitchen.
I felt ridiculously bad—terrible. I hadn't stared at Daniel, but I had seen enough to realize that he had grown up. He was tall and broad, and he had some facial hair. It was the man version of Daniel, and seeing him only made me feel worse.
I walked through the dining room and down the hallway. There was a bathroom in the hall, but I kept going, through Tess and Billy's bedroom and into their master bathroom. This way, I wouldn't be disturbed.
I knew I had no right to make this about me, but at the same time, I just couldn’t control the feelings I was having. Physically, I felt the need to run. I just couldn’t be there. I made a plan as I walked into the bathroom. I would go in there for a minute to gather my thoughts, but I had to leave pretty quickly and sneak through the living room while everyone else was still in the kitchen and dining room. I had said enough to my sister that she would know where and why I had gone. I would need to try to get to my mother to let her know what was going on. I would see if I could do that on my way out.
I went through the motions of using the restroom, washing my hands, and checking myself in the mirror. Doing things like that helped me keep from thinking about other things too much, which kept me from crying.
Daniel had always been handsome, but now he was a man—a real man. His face had filled out and was now chiseled and masculine. I had been mad at myself for three months over this, and being faced with him in person did not help one bit.
I took a brief moment in the bathroom, and then I headed through Tess and Billy's bedroom to go back to the party. I would find my mom and then make my way out. I was concentrating on leaving with as little drama as possible. I had my head down and I was focused on finding my mother.
I walked through their bedroom quickly and turned the corner to head down the hall.
I ran into him instantly.
I didn't just encounter Daniel in the hallway, I literally ran into him,
bumping up against him before pulling back clumsily.
"Oh, hey," I said.
"Hey! Come here, Abby-girl. I haven't seen you in forever. Come give me a hug."
Chapter 5
A hug?
A hug?
Was he asking me for a hug?
Was Daniel King standing, big as an ox, in my sister's hallway with his arms casually outstretched in front of me? How was he asking me for a hug when his beautiful girlfriend was waiting for him in the next room?
I smiled stiffly, leaned in, and awkwardly hugged him, letting my head barely touch his chest while tapping his arm with my fingertips.
I hardly recognized him.
He was a strapping young man. His chest and arms seemed like they had doubled in size since the last time I saw him. He was bigger than his dad. He wrapped his arms around me and gave me a tight squeeze.
We broke apart, and I looked at him to find that he was smiling at me like a big brother would. I had been confident in my fall outfit, but now that I was looking at Daniel, I felt plain. He was gorgeous—the most handsome man I had ever seen. His hair had darkened-up. Or maybe that was his beard. He didn't have facial hair before.
"You have a beard now," I said feeling the need to say something after the awkward hug. I could hardly breathe.
Daniel smiled and touched his face. "Barely," he said. "I had a week off, so I let it grow out. I have to be clean-shaven for work, so I'll to get rid of it next week."
I smiled at him. I was looking at his face but honestly trying not to take it in. I was so overcome with emotion that I felt like I might melt, which probably meant I would pass out. Either of those things were unacceptable.
"I didn't know you were coming," I said.
"The trip was sort of last minute."
We could hear voices, but they were off in the distance. We were alone in the hallway, standing only a few feet apart. I stepped back, leaning against the doorway of the bedroom. Daniel was so perfect that my heart ached from looking at him.
The Trouble with Crushes: A Romance (Bank Street Stories Book 2) Page 3
