"I was actually going to eat at Evelyn's," I said. "I was here to help Tess get ready and everything, but I sort of had plans to… Evelyn's parents have a big lunch every year with her family and everything, and they invited me."
"Oh, you're leaving?" he asked, looking confused.
"Yeah, I was going to slip out," I said. "I was just helping Tess get everything ready."
"Why would you leave?" he asked. "I was excited to see you—excited to catch up. Can't you just stay for lunch?"
I started to say something but then I hesitated with my mouth open. "I—uh, I, need to… I told Evelyn that I would… I didn't want to…" I spoke slowly as I gazed at him. I realized I was staring, but there was nothing I could do to stop myself.
"You didn't want to, what?" he asked.
"Huh?"
"You were telling me why you were leaving. You said you didn't want to do something."
"I didn't want to… see… you…" I said the words in a dazed sort of state where I could think of nothing besides the truth.
"Me?" Daniel said, sounding genuinely surprised. "You don't want to see me?"
"I do, I do. I really do," I said quietly, smiling and fumbling for words. "I just meant that I feel a little… overwhelmed about it." I paused for a second or two, taking him in and trying to figure out what I was feeling.
"Why are you overwhelmed?" he asked, tilting his head at me.
I tried to step around him, and he put his hand out to stop me. It was what I wanted him to do. I wanted him to stop me. And yet I didn't know what to say now that he had.
"Daniel, I… the main thing I want is for you to be happy." I cut my eyes toward the kitchen. "I know you're happy and your girlfriend is probably great and everything, and that's what I want. I'm glad. That makes me happy." I paused, blinking at him, staring into his hazel green eyes. "I just can't see it," I whispered. "I'm glad it exists, but I don't want to look at it. You can be happy something exists and still not be able to look at it. I hope that makes enough sense and you know it's nothing against you or anything. I really do… love… seeing you… Daniel." My words came out choppy sounding, which only added to the odd things I was saying. I was not expecting any of this and I was having trouble putting my thoughts into words.
Daniel was staring at me like he didn’t quite understand. "Please don't go," he said. "Seeing you was one of the main reasons I came over here. It's been years, Abby."
"I know," I said, nodding.
He obviously didn't understand how affected I was at this moment, which made the whole thing hurt even more.
I knew I needed to toughen up. I owed it to Daniel to make this encounter as pleasant as possible for him. I nodded and took a deep breath.
"I can wait and go to Evelyn's a little later," I said with a smile.
"Thank you," he said. He put his hand on my shoulder. "I know you don't live in Galveston anymore, and I was hoping to catch up while you're here. I haven't seen you in so long."
I just stared up at him. I wanted to pour my heart out. I wanted to beg him to give me another chance. "Yeah, yeah, that'll be good," I said, trying to seem way less shaken than I was.
I had been blindsided by his arrival.
I really wished I had seen it coming.
I fully intended on leaving, but I couldn't now that I had run into Daniel and told him I would stay. I smiled and made my way from the hallway back to the kitchen.
I didn't even look to see if Daniel was following me. I didn't want to walk in there with him. I felt like my feelings were so obvious that I might as well have a sign on my forehead that said I'm in love with Daniel King.
I had to leave him in the dust and go back into the kitchen alone.
I went straight to the baby. Tess was holding her while explaining to Marvin where he could find the extra napkins.
"I'll take her and change her diaper," I said, walking up to my sister.
"She actually does need it," Tess said, handing her to me. "Thank you. I'll feed her after that, and she'll probably take a nap."
I gingerly took the baby. There was so much going on in the kitchen that no one was paying attention to us. I vaguely noticed that Daniel came back into the kitchen and joined his girlfriend who was still standing on the other side. I avoided looking their way.
I took Tara to the nursery to change her.
I stayed back there with her for several minutes. I kept seeing Daniel in my mind's eye. The memory of him in the hallway was too much. I thought of his stature and how it had changed. I thought of what it felt like when he hugged me. He was no longer a boy. He was a man now, in form and in confidence. It made my stomach tie in knots when I remembered the sight of him a few minutes ago.
"Just tell me to forget all about that," I said to Tara, who stared at me from the crib where I was changing her diaper. "Tell me to get that out of my head." I glanced at her eyes, and she stared back, wiggling. I smiled and shook my head like she was saying something to me. "I know. I can't believe he brought her, either," I said. "She's not even pretty," I added, lying.
I fastened her outfit and said a few things to her about other topics. I knew she didn't really understand me, but I didn't want our whole talk to be about Daniel. I told her she was beautiful and pumped her up to go back out there. She liked to look around, but her neck wasn't sturdy yet. I propped her up where she was cradled in my arm but could still look out, and I took off for the kitchen.
Daniel came into the nursery just as I made it to the door. I instantly looked around him to see if he was alone. My eyes snapped up to meet his when I saw that he was.
"I had to come make sure you weren't leaving," he said. "You said you were going to stay, but then you took off."
"Oh, I was just… changing the baby."
Daniel stared down at little Tara, wearing a sweet smile that reminded me of a young, handsome version of his dad. His nose wasn't completely straight. That had happened the first day I saw him. It was better than straight, though, honestly. I didn't know what it looked like before, but I couldn’t imagine liking it more than I did right now. There was a small dent in the bridge, and somehow it was way better that way than if it was perfect.
He came close to us, staring at the baby. I imagined, for a second, that the moment was ours—that Daniel was mine and the baby was ours. It would have been a perfect moment if that were reality. But it wasn't reality, and that harsh truth fell on me like a piano out of the sky when Jayne Mansfield came into the doorway.
"Kelly, come see this baby," Daniel said, without skipping a beat.
She walked into the room, and my heart felt like it was being poured out of my chest. She smiled at me and then at Tara. "Is this your baby?" she asked.
"It's my sister's," I said. "I'm Aunt Abby."
"Aw, she's adorable," Kelly said, looking at Tara. "I couldn't find the restroom," she added, shifting to stare at Daniel.
"It's just right there in the hall," I said. "On the left."
"Do you live here?" she asked.
"Me? No. I've thought about it. I love Galveston, and Tess and Billy have three bedrooms upstairs. But no. I live in Louisiana."
"Are all these people in your family?" she asked me.
"No, my mom and dad are here, but otherwise it's all Tess and Billy's friends."
"And Billy's the famous boxer?" she asked, clarifying.
"He is," I said, nodding. "Marvin is probably more famous. Marvin Jones. But Billy's been really successful. He'll be remembered like Marvin one day."
"She knows about Billy," Daniel said. "Her dad's a big boxing fan. We talk about Billy."
"My dad met Cassius Clay," she said. "Muhammed Ali."
"Wow, that's pretty cool," I said.
I had been in the same room with Muhammed Ali before with Tess and Billy. I didn't meet him, but I could've gone up to him if I were that type and it was important to me. Either way, I wasn't going to tell Kelly that. I let out a sigh because I didn't know what to say.
"Well, I guess we better go get some of that yummy food," I said. Before I even said it, I realized that the phrase yummy food was just about the dorkiest thing I could say, and yet it still came out of my mouth. Yummy food. It sounded like I delivered it half-speed.
I smiled and nodded and took off toward the door. I almost called some sort of closing statement over my shoulder to Kelly about how it was nice to meet her, but I didn't. I just walked out of the nursery, leaving them to use the restroom or whatever they were going to do.
I left that room thinking that my Thanksgiving was about to get a lot better. It had to. It couldn't possibly get any worse than being trapped in the nursery with Daniel and his girlfriend as they recounted stories of her dad meeting famous boxers.
I would simply go in there, make a plate, and find a place to sit where there wasn't room for the two of them. I would smile and act normal and avoid them for the rest of the afternoon.
Chapter 6
I went through Thanksgiving lunch with a smile, talking to people like I normally would, but it was difficult. Guilt, shame, and regret were the worst of all emotions because they were things that got brought on by yourself.
I felt nothing but regret as I witnessed Daniel King interacting with everyone at lunch. It wasn't just that I ruined my own chances of being with him. It was mainly because I regretted being so aloof for so long when he obviously had feelings for me. The memory of it made me feel like such a terrible person.
I wasn't mean to him. I was his friend, and we talked and laughed like friends do, but I completely ignored his affections, and he was worth so much more than that. I felt ashamed that he had gone through hard situations while I was being selfish and neglecting him.
But continuing to harp on it would only result in further wasted time. I decided that sometimes feeling too guilty about something could inadvertently morph into a selfish act.
I went through the afternoon in a good mood, trying my best to avoid looking at those two specific people without seeming like I was avoiding it.
It was easy. There were plenty of people to occupy me so that my behavior toward Daniel didn't seem questionable. I did overhear a conversation where he talked about his plans for the weekend. He said he wasn't going back until Sunday.
I had two reactions to hearing that, neither of them felt particularly healthy.
For one, I was excited that he was staying. The instant I heard he would be here till Sunday I started changing my plans so that I could stay a day longer with Tess and Billy. This way, I at least had a chance of running into him again.
The second emotion I felt was jealousy. I thought of them traveling together. I thought of them spending nights together. I didn't think Daniel would get so close to someone so quickly, and it made me feel sick to my stomach.
I knew it was irrational for me to stay in Galveston longer with the hopes that I'd run into him again, but that was exactly what I felt like doing.
***
I did end up staying with Tess and Billy through the weekend with plans to head back to Louisiana on Sunday, but I didn't push the idea of running into Daniel again. I could have tried to make it happen. I could have simply called him and gone to his house, but I didn't feel good about it.
That was a difficult moral dilemma for me. On one hand, I felt like I didn't deserve him and I should give up and not bother him or his newfound happiness. And on the other hand, that felt like I was giving up too quickly. Part of me thought, he's not married, and I should still pursue him or I would regret it forever, and the other part was convinced I shouldn't do it. I told myself that I would love it if I ran into Daniel again that weekend by accident, but I wasn't going to force it.
My best chance of it happening was going to be Saturday afternoon at the boxing gym.
Billy was a full-time professional athlete. He made his livelihood as a prize fighter. He loved what he did and he treated it like a full-time job. He was at the gym constantly. He would be there all day on Saturday, and at around 3pm, Tess and I would bring a batch of cold, fresh-cut fruit up there for everybody to enjoy. It was something she did once a week or so. It was all her idea.
I was excited about going, though, because Daniel's dad's hardware store was on the same block as Bank Street Boxing. The two were right across the street from each other. I had no reason to believe that Daniel would be at the hardware store while we were at the gym, but I still got butterflies in my stomach at the thought of it.
I ended up running into Daniel in spectacular fashion.
The way in which I ran into Daniel was better than I could have ever dreamed-up on my own. I thought maybe I'd bump into him (and the girl) on Bank Street on our way into the gym. But that wasn't at all what happened. It was one of those glorious moments in life where reality blew away my fantasies.
Daniel was inside the gym when we got there.
Music was playing, and it was busy, so it took me a minute to spot him. He had on headgear and no shirt, and he was in the ring on the far side of the gym, sparring with Billy.
I knew who he was the instant I laid eyes on him.
I stared.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I figured his girlfriend was there too, but I didn't care enough to take my eyes off of him and search for her.
"We usually just set this out here on the table," Tess said, assuming I was wondering about the fruit, which I wasn't. My throat was closed, and I almost choked as I started to talk. I could not believe that a shirtless Daniel King was in the same room as me. I could not believe I was so affected by seeing it.
I had seen a lot of shirtless guys in my life. In my teenage years, I was a connoisseur of the male form. I very much enjoyed putting myself in positions like the beach or pools where I had views of shirtless guys. I had seen and inspected many a young man in my day. I had mellowed out about it now, but I still had good taste, and I was still able to appreciate the sight of a gorgeous human being.
Daniel King was flawless.
He was so much bigger, broader than he had been four years ago. He seemed like skin and bones back then by comparison. Now he was a man with full-size man muscles. I watched him as we walked. He was still Daniel, he was just so much smoother, more solid, more substantial. He was confident in his movements. I saw him smiling as he and Billy exchanged blows. They were light on their feet, working hard, but going at what seemed to be about half-strength.
I could see and take in all of this as we made our way to the table. Tess was holding the baby, and I was holding the huge bowl of fruit. She stopped in front of the table gesturing to it. She told me what to do and I went through the motions of putting out the fruit, bowls, and the toothpicks.
"Get a bowl full for Billy and Daniel, please," she said. "Or hold Tara while I do it."
"I got it," I said. "One bowl each, or one bowl to share?"
"One each," she said. "Thank you." She took the baby and started walking toward the boxing ring at the back of the gym, leaving me there to scoop two portions of fruit salad into a bowl.
"What you got here, little Miss Abigail?"
I knew it was Marvin's voice before I even turned and saw him. "Watermelon, cantaloupe, grapes, and oranges," I said smiling at him. "We had it in the freezer for a little while before we came over here, so it's all really cold."
Marvin's hand touched my arm. "You might want to cover your ears," he said.
I reached up and did as he said, and he turned and let out a loud whistle. All of the people in the gym, ten or fifteen people, stopped what they were doing and turned to look at Marvin.
He cleared his throat. "The Castros, along with my friend, Abigail here, were nice enough to bring us a little refreshment. Y'all better come get some while it's cold. It just came out of the freezer."
No one hesitated. They all began flocking to the table. Fresh fruit was something they were used to—a few of them even stopped what they were doing and headed over before Marvin ever whistled.
"You got yourself
some?" Marvin asked, stepping back to let the sweaty athletes access the table.
"No sir, these are for Daniel and Billy. Tess and I ate enough while we were cutting it. All the ends and side-pieces, we just kept popping them into our mouths."
Marvin laughed. I held up the bowls and gestured with a tilt of my head toward the back of the gym.
"I'm going to take these to the boys," I said. "Unless you want one," I added. I held one of the bowls toward him. "I could make another one for them if you want to take this one."
"No, thank you, Miss Abby. You go on ahead and take those to the boys. I'll get in here and get me some before it disappears."
"You sure?" I asked, offering the bowl one last time before I walked away.
He smiled. "I'm sure. Thank you."
I smiled at him as I turned and started walking toward the ring.
Daniel already had his gloves and head protection off, and he was making his way to the corner of the ring. I had glanced around the gym enough by now to realize that the girlfriend was nowhere in plain sight. I was unreasonably happy about this.
I carried the bowls of fruit, looking at Daniel but trying not to stare. He still didn't have on a shirt. I tried not to notice how perfect he was, but it was impossible. He might as well have been etched out of marble.
Billy was first in line at the corner, and he climbed through the ropes and hopped down to meet me. "Thank you," he said, reaching out to take one of the bowls out of my hand.
"You're welcome," I said.
I had come to stand beside my sister at the side of the ring. Billy leaned to the side to kiss Tess after he took the fruit from me. "Thank you," he said to her.
She was responding to him as I stepped back. I got out of the way so that Daniel could climb out of the ring. He came down the steps. I zigged when I should have zagged, and instead of stepping around me like he should have, Daniel collided with me.
"Whoa," I said, trying to get out of his way.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, my shirt's right over here." Daniel took the final step and lunged toward a nearby chair, the one with his shirt hanging over the back. It was a white t-shirt and I watched as he lifted it over his head, and stretched into it. He was damp with sweat and he had to bend and flex to get it on.
The Trouble with Crushes: A Romance (Bank Street Stories Book 2) Page 4
