Divided

by Evangeline Anderson

  “See?” Kat said. “Your heart knows who to choose even if your brain doesn’t. Is what your parents think really what’s holding you back? Or is it the other thing we talked about—the fear that something bad will happen because you let yourself off the leash?”

  Becca bit her lip. “I…I don’t know. I just know I’m not ready to be fully bonded to them yet.”

  “Maybe just give it some time,” Kat advised. “But in the meantime, you really need to touch them—together if you can stand it without giving in to the urge for naked time.”

  “Why together?” Becca asked. “Why does it have to be at the same time?”

  Kat shrugged. “It doesn’t but it’ll work better that way. Plus, if their Twin bond really has come together, it’s going to hurt them to touch you separately. Like a low level shock running through their bodies when either one of them touches you without the other also touching.”

  “Are you serious?” Becca shook her head. “I guess you said something like that in the ‘Twin Bonding 101’ class thingy you guys put together to teach them but I never thought…”

  “That it would affect your guys?” Kat said. “Honestly, doll, I didn’t either. I never thought Truth would ever come around to being that connected to his brother.”

  “I didn’t either,” Becca admitted in a low voice. “But he doesn’t do anything halfway—he’s completely committed to their relationship now and of course, Far always was. So now I’m the only one holding out and I feel kind of…”

  “Outnumbered?” Kat finished for her. “Yeah, I should have warned you. That can be a thing sometimes when you’re with Twin Kindred. Luckily, like all Kindred, they always defer to the lady. So even if it seems like it’s two against one, you’ve still got the upper hand.”

  “It doesn’t feel like that,” Becca said in a small voice.

  “No, but it is,” Kat said firmly. “So stick to your guns. Don’t bond with them fully until you feel ready.” She sighed. “And in the meantime, try not to let yourself get too weak.”

  “Weak?” Becca asked.

  “And if you get a pain in your head—kind of like someone driving a spike through your eye—don’t freak out. It’s not an aneurysm, just the partial bond,” Kat went on.

  “A spike in my eye? That’s horrible!” Becca shook her head. “I have to tell you, Kat, you’re not exactly making me feel better.”

  “I’m just telling you what to expect. I don’t want you freaking out and thinking you’re dying on a strange planet. Because that is no fun. Which I know from personal experience.”

  “Crap.” Becca sighed. “No, worse than crap—shit. This is so complicated.”

  Kat raised an eyebrow again. “Such language from a nun!”

  “I’m not a nun and I’m never going to be one,” Becca said tartly. “And if I keep on the way I’m going, I’ll be ashamed to ever enter a church again.”

  Kat shook her head. “You have to stop talking that way, Becca. You can’t help it you fell for two guys at once and they can’t help the way they are. Twin Kindred have to share a female—it’s the only way for them. It’s not perverted or wrong or evil—it’s a simple matter of biology.”

  “I guess…” Becca twisted her hands in her lap. “It’s just…hard not to feel guilty considering the way I was raised.”

  “Believe me, I know,” Kat said. “But eventually you’re going to have to get over it and do what feels right. And if you really love Truth and Far—and I think you do—the right thing is to complete that bond.”

  “Or I could have it broken when I get back to the Mother Ship,” Becca said in a small voice. Just saying the words made her feel sick but she forced herself to continue. “The…the Goddess said she would do that for me if…if I asked her to.”

  “You really think that’s what you want?” Kat asked quietly.

  “I don’t know.” Becca felt ready to cry. “I don’t know anything anymore. I’m just…just scared, Kat.”

  “I know you are, doll.” Kat sighed. “I wish I was there to give you a hug—you look like you could use one.”

  “I could. I really could.” Becca wrapped her arms around herself and thought of the kind of hug she really wanted. One where Far and Truth surrounded her with their big male bodies and held her close between them. But she was certain hugging would lead to other things if she gave in to that urge.

  “If you should decide to dissolve the partial bond…uh-oh.” Kat’s eyes went wide.

  “What?” Becca turned quickly to see that Far was standing in the doorway, looking at the viewscreeen. His face was blank and it was impossible to tell if he’d heard what she and Kat had been saying.

  “Truth sent me to see if you’re ready to go,” he said quietly. “Should I tell him you’ll be a minute more?”

  “I…um…” Becca bit her lip. “Far, I just—”

  “I’ll tell him you need another moment to say goodbye to Lady Kat,” the light twin said. He turned quickly away before Becca could say anything else.

  “Crap,” Becca sighed again.

  “Don’t you mean ‘shit?’” Kat asked.

  “As in deep, deep shit once the guys start talking,” Becca said morosely. “Yes, I guess that about sums it up.” She ran a hand through her hair. “I have to go, Kat. Hopefully I’ll see you soon. We’re just going to dig up this truthonium necklace thing and come right back to the Mother Ship.”

  “Good, I’ll be waiting. And I might even save you a brownie if I can keep from eating them all.”

  Becca raised an eyebrow. “Is this a brownie from the same batch you had when I left?”

  “Of course not! Lauren brought some more this morning but I can’t promise not to eat them all though—these have peanut butter swirled through them.” Kat rolled her eyes. “They’re sooo good.”

  Despite her worry, Becca couldn’t help smiling. “You’re too much, Kat. I wish you were here. I don’t know what I’m going to do once I go down to Pax and I’m on my own.”

  Kat winked at her. “You’ll be fine. Just remember—follow your heart, not your head. And don’t give in to fear.”

  “I…I’ll try not to,” Becca promised. She blew her friend a kiss and clicked off the viewscreen.

  It was time to go down to Pax.

  Chapter Thirty-four

  “So this is where you grew up, Brother.” Far looked around with considerable interest at the vast, snow covered trees that surrounded them. Each of the massive conifers rose hundreds of feet in the air and it would have taken twenty males at least to encircle a single trunk with their arms. Truth had landed the shuttle in the middle of small clearing and the gigantic forest surrounding them made Far feel very small and insignificant.

  “It is,” Truth said shortly. He shot Far a look that was mingled affection and exasperation. “Ask your questions—I can feel you dying to know more.”

  “Does my interest in your home really come through our bond so strongly?” Far smiled at his brother. “Forgive me. I’m just curious but I know curiosity is taboo here on Pax.”

  “I have broken a great many taboos already,” Truth said shortly. “I hardly think one more will matter.”

  Far felt a surge of affection for his brother. Now that the wall that had separated them had come down, it was amazing how much he was willing to share of himself. The light twin knew that personal privacy was of the utmost importance to his brother’s people—and to Truth too. So the fact that he was offering to answer questions about himself and his past was a major concession on his part.

  “These trees are amazing.” Becca, clad in an ankle length crimson coat, was looking up in awe. “They remind me of the Redwoods out in California. So huge.”

  “These are the elder trees,” Truth said, gesturing at them. “My people consider them sacred.”

  “And do you live in them?” Far asked. “I understood the Rai’ku lived in domiciles built in the treetops but I don’t see any here.”

  “That is because
this is the Hallowed Glade, consecrated to Cha’don, the Father of Flight. He is the deity most Rai’ku revere because his form is that of the dr’gin, or animal form they take,” Truth said. “We live in boadab trees, slightly smaller and with wider branches—ideal for building in.”

  “Is it always this cold here?” Becca shivered. “I’m really glad I have these warm weather clothes Kat made for me but this is ridiculous.”

  Far wished he could suggest that he and Truth warm her up but it was clear the suggestion would be unwelcome. He thought again of the conversation he’d accidentally overheard earlier. Did Becca really want to dissolve the bond the three of them had so recently formed? Should he talk to her about it? Or talk to Truth?

  I should have known she had reservations about forming a permanent bond, he thought. Her anxiety comes clearly through the partial link we seem to have formed. I wonder if Truth feels it as well. Is he as worried as I am?

  He could certainly feel concern coming through the bond he now shared with his twin, but he had an idea it was mostly about being back on Truth’s home planet. Would his Rai’ku relations really disown and hate him as Becca seemed to fear her parents would if they learned about the bond between the three of them?

  I suppose we’re about to find out, he thought warily. Because coming toward them over the snowy ground, was a small group of people—two males and one female.

  “Heads up,” Becca murmured. “It looks like we have company, guys.”

  “Who are they?” Far asked under his breath. “Is there anything we should know before we meet them?”

  “They are my second mother, her brother T’lar, who is one of the elders of our pack, and my younger half brother, Garron,” Truth said. “And the only thing you need to know is that they will probably hate you.”

  “What? You don’t even think they’ll give us a chance?” Becca looked upset but Truth only shook his head.

  “Never mind. Just let me do the speaking.”

  The approaching figures didn’t seem to be in a hurry so Far had plenty of time to study them. Truth’s second mother and her brother were both tiny—built on an even smaller scale than Becca’s people, the humans. His brother, however, had the size of a true Kindred—six foot seven at least, if not more. He towered over the other two and yet managed to look unassuming despite his stature. He must not have been much younger than Truth—maybe only a year—because Far could see beard shadow on his jaw.

  All three of them were dressed in flowing red robe-like garments that stood out like drops of blood in the snow and they all had straight, glossy black hair and black eyes—or so Far thought. But when the younger brother looked up, Far saw that he had eyes that were a peculiar shade of pure, piercing turquoise with no other color blended into them at all. Beside him, he heard Becca give a low gasp and he had to agree—the strange eyes, fringed thickly with black lashes, were arresting to say the least.

  “Your brother’s eyes,” she murmured to Truth. “What—?”

  “They’re known as sky eyes,” the dark twin answered in a murmur. “Supposedly they denote a male whose dr’gin will be especially powerful. But as of the last time I saw my brother, he still had not—never mind, I will tell you later.”

  Truth’s family members were within earshot now so the three of them fell silent and waited. They stopped some distance away—further, Far thought, than would have been normal for his own people but still within speaking distance—and all three of them made a formal bow. Truth’s mother and her brother bowed only from the neck but his younger brother bowed from the waist.

  Truth returned the bow, also bowing from the waist but not quite as deeply as his brother. Far tried to copy his twin’s movements exactly and he saw that Becca was doing the same. Then they all waited.

  Truth’s second mother spoke first.

  “My son,” she said in a light, high voice that nevertheless managed to sound stern. “You have returned.”

  “Yes, Ama,” Truth replied. “I have, but I will not stay.” He gestured at Far and Becca who were standing a little behind him. “These are Rebecca and Far, my—”

  “We can tell what they are to you.” The older male Truth had named as T'lar wrinkled his nose. “And what you have been doing with them. How dare you bring such as these to the Hallowed Glade among the elder trees?”

  “Apologies, brother of my mother. It was the only place I could land the shuttle,” Truth said shortly.

  “Son, please tell me there is some error here,” his second mother said, her small, delicate nose quivering. “My senses tell me you have taken both a male and female as mates. This…cannot be right.”

  “Far is my lost twin brother—the male I was meant to grow up with and be bonded to from the first,” Truth answered steadily. “Our bond has recently been restored and I will not apologize for that. Becca is the female which we both love—which is right and natural for Twin Kindred.”

  “The female you share, you mean,” Truth’s uncle spat. “Disgusting.”

  Truth lifted his chin. “Again, I offer no apologies for doing what comes naturally to my people.”

  “Your people are the Rai’ku.” His mother’s voice trembled. “How could you so diverge from all I tried to teach you growing up? And why would you bring these…people home with you, knowing how we would feel?”

  “It is a slap in the face—an insult!” his uncle declared. “How dare you?”

  Far couldn’t ignore the angry words directed at his brother any longer.

  “Truth didn’t bring us here as a personal insult to you—we are on a quest that leads us to Pax,” he said, frowning at the older male. “When we find what we have come for, we will leave and return to the Mother Ship. In the meantime, we will try not to bother you but you shouldn’t berate Truth for following the dictates of biology. You, of all people, with your second natures, should understand having a biological urge you cannot help giving in to.”

  Truth’s uncle squinted at him suspiciously.

  “What do you know of our second nature?” He looked at Truth. “What have you told him? How much of our privacy have you violated?”

  Truth’s second mother leaned forward, staring at Far. “Do I know you?” she asked. “Your voice sounds familiar to my ears.”

  Far had a brief moment of intense relief that the “interview” he had conducted with Truth’s second mother had been done over an audio wavelength only when his twin spoiled everything by saying,

  “You did speak to Far a little while back, Ama. He called to get information about me and about my father, Feels Pain, who was his father as well.”

  “What? But he claimed to be from the Kindred Council. He never said—”

  Far realized there was no going back.

  “I wanted to know more about Truth and his childhood but I couldn’t think of a graceful way to ask you. Forgive me for my fabrication. I so much wanted to reach my brother and I thought—” He stopped abruptly when he saw the looks on their faces.

  “So you lied about your true intentions in order to invade Truth’s privacy?” Truth’s uncle demanded. He looked at Truth. “And you forgave this despicable spying?”

  “I did forgive it, yes.” Truth nodded shortly.

  All this time, Becca had been standing silently though Far could feel her getting more and more agitated through their link. Apparently this attack on his character was too much for her to take.

  “But you don’t understand!” she suddenly burst out. “Far and Truth belong together and Far always knew it but Truth didn’t. Far was just trying to find some way to get closer to him.”

  “Well it appears he found it,” Truth’s second mother snapped tartly. She gave Becca a cold look and her nose wrinkled. “And he found a way to get close to you, too—didn’t he? What self-respecting female would allow herself to be shared by two males at once? Wrex!”

  “Oh!” Becca took a step back, as though she’d been slapped, a wounded look in her eyes.

  Far didn�
��t need translation bacteria to know that Truth’s second mother had just called Becca a whore. By the way Truth’s face darkened, he was well aware of it too.

  “Ama,” he said in a low, clipped voice. “Apologies if my choices have disappointed you. But I will not stand by and allow you to insult my mates—I love both Becca and Far too much to allow it. We will stay out of your way in our shuttle until our mission here is done. All I ask is that you leave us alone and we will do the same for you.”

  “Well, you cannot keep your craft here in the Hallowed Glade,” Truth’s uncle declared. “Your very presence defiles it.”

  “This is close to where we need to be,” Truth objected. “The nearest other spot I could place the shuttle is in the Forgotten Hollow—over fifty clicks from here.”

  “You must move it or the pack will make you move it,” his uncle said, frowning. “I will see to that myself. And you must not bring it back. You can walk from your new spot to wherever it is you need to go.”

  Truth sighed. “All right, we will move the shuttle. But walking is impractical—Becca comes from a land where the sun is always shining and it almost never gets cold. She cannot walk fifty clicks in the snow every day.”

  “That is not our problem,” his mother sniffed.

  Truth frowned. “It is if I invoke the pack laws of succession and inheritance. My father may be dead but as his oldest son, the house you are living in is technically mine, Ama. So I will ask you again—if we are forced to move the shuttle, where are we to sleep for the night?”

  “They can stay with me.” Truth’s younger brother spoke up unexpectedly. Up until now he had been completely silent.

  “No! They must not!” Truth’s mother declared. “Think of your reputation, son! What will the pack think if they learn—”

  “If they learn what, Ama—that I followed the precepts of hospitality as they were dictated by the Father of Flight himself?” His voice was deep and quiet and tinged with some private bitterness that Far could not interpret. “That I gave your oldest son a place to stay when you would not?”