Divided

by Evangeline Anderson

  Becca pushed it aside with some difficulty, telling herself she could think about it later. She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes with a corner of the silver heat blanket.

  “Now tell me what happened,” she demanded. “How could I have seen you get stabbed in the heart and yet you’re still alive?”

  “Twin Kindred have self-sealing organs,” Truth explained. “It makes us very hard to kill.”

  “Self-sealing…what does that mean?” Becca asked.

  “They knit together automatically. Any time there is any kind of puncture or injury, a Twin Kindred’s organs immediately begin to repair themselves. It takes a while and a serious wound can incapacitate them for a time but they will heal eventually,” Garron explained. He smiled wryly. “I found that out the hard way, didn’t I, Brother?”

  “You surely did.” Truth smiled back. “We were playing with sharpened stakes—pretending they were ghats—one day when we were children. Garron got a little excited and actually ran me through.”

  “I thought Ama would die of fright,” Garron said. “And I was certain you were dead—you lay so still.”

  “It hurt a hell of a lot,” Truth said. “With a life threatening injury, the body shuts down temporarily as mine did tonight—it aids the healing process.”

  “So that’s what you were talking about before you fought the Y’grin? The fight you had when you were kids?” Becca looked from one to the other.

  Truth nodded and Garron said,

  “I am sorry we couldn’t be more forthcoming with you, Becca. But if the Rai’ku had learned what we were planning…”

  “They would have killed us all and eaten us,” Truth finished grimly.

  “Ugh!” Becca gave a shiver of involuntary disgust. “How could they?”

  “It’s the dr’gin within them—it craves flesh,” Garron said quietly.

  “I still don’t understand.” Becca shook her head. “Why couldn’t I at least feel you through our bond? I understand about Far—he was out for the count because of the poison. But you…you could have at least sent me some kind of feeling or something. Seeing you…thinking you were…were dead was horrible. Just like Kenneth all over again but ten times worse!”

  “I am truly sorry, Rebecca,” Truth said earnestly. “But as I said, my body shut down for a while. I was joking with Garron earlier but I really do think he might have nicked my heart—I was unconscious while my body made repairs so I was unable to send you anything.”

  “All right.” Becca nodded slowly. “But what about the Rai’ku? Wouldn’t they know you could survive being impaled? I mean, if it happened before, back when you were a kid?”

  The dark twin shook his head. “Our ama hushed it up. Other than my apa—my father—I was the only full blooded Twin Kindred on Pax. It was just another way I was different and she didn’t want me to be different.”

  “Plus, nothing says bad parenting like letting one of your children impale another,” Far murmured. “I’m certain she wasn’t eager for anyone to know of what happened for any reason.”

  “You’re probably right,” Garron said. “Ama always was very concerned about appearances. She…hid many things.” His turquoise eyes darkened and Becca guessed he was thinking of Feels Pain and the abuse they had been subjected to as children.

  Truth must have sensed the same thing.

  “That is over now, Brother,” he said gently, reaching up to put a hand on Garron’s arm. “You need never think of it again now that you are leaving Pax behind.”

  “Have we left, then?” Becca looked at them, bewildered. “But…what about the cache? What about finding the truthonium amulet thingy to heal the unmated males?”

  “Oh, we have that. Do you wish to see it?” Garron asked eagerly. He was up and out of the room before she could answer. He reappeared carrying a dull metal box about the size of a small footlocker. “Behold….” He opened it with a flourish and held it out for Becca to see.

  “Ohhhhh,” she breathed. Lying in the center of the box, on a thick layer of some black, velvety material, was the most amazing piece of jewelry she had ever seen.

  It was hanging on a plain red cord that had nearly rotted away—no surprise since it had been buried for two thousand years, Becca thought. But the amulet itself was perfectly intact. It was made of a gleaming, opalescent metal that made even the brightest diamonds or the most highly burnished platinum seem dull in comparison.

  “It’s beautiful,” Becca whispered at last. “But…what shape is it?” Because though she stared and stared, she couldn’t be sure what the amulet was supposed to be. At first it had looked like a heart, then a star, then a perfect spiral which seemed to circle in on itself forever. Trying to decipher it was beginning to give her a headache and yet she found she couldn’t look away.

  “We’re not sure,” Garron said. “It seems to change.”

  “But how…how did you get it?” Becca felt hypnotized, almost drugged by the beautiful alien thing.

  “I found the coordinates in Truth’s handheld device,” Garron explained. “And since we had to wait a little while for the antidote to take hold in Far’s system, I got the Kindred warriors who brought the three of you to my lodge to help me dig. We found it very quickly—I don’t know where you got your new coordinates but they were extremely accurate.”

  What we did to get the coordinates…Becca remembered the way she had pleasured both men at once and felt a rush of shame. What we did…what I should never have done…

  “You took a grave risk, not leaving at once,” Truth said, breaking into her guilty thoughts. “The Rai’ku could have come back at any time.”

  “I know, but I was certain we would never get a chance to dig among the elder trees again,” Garron said. “I did the best I could while the three of you were all unconscious for one reason or another.”

  “You did very well,” Far assured him. Becca thought his voice sounded strained and she wanted to look up and see if the light twin was well. But she still couldn’t drag her eyes from the glowing, shifting pendant in the box.

  “Can you…touch it?” she asked. “I mean, is it dangerous?”

  “It’s not radioactive, if that’s what you’re asking,” Truth said. “But I don’t recommend touchi—”

  Before he could finish, Becca reached out a hand and lightly stroked the strange, shifting metal with one fingertip.

  Suddenly Mother Superior was standing right in front of her.

  Mother of God! Becca nearly choked with surprise. She looked around to see if the twins or Garron could see Mother Superior but they seemed to be frozen somehow.

  “Don’t bother—they can’t see me. I’m just here for you.”

  “What…what do you want?” Becca whispered.

  “I think you know what I want.” Mother Superior fixed her with a cold look.

  “No, I—”

  “Very well, I will show you.”

  Immediately she was flooded with the memories and emotions of the past several hours. It was as though someone was replaying her life, but not from her perspective—it was as though she was an outside observer, watching everything that had transpired in the recent past.

  She saw the way she and Truth and Far had touched each other, the way she had brought them both to the edge and made them come with her hands and mouth. The way she had given herself to them and offered to give more…to give them everything and bond with them completely.

  Watching the brazen way she’d touched them—and knowing that Mother Superior was watching too—made Becca blush miserably with shame. Just look at the way I’m acting—at the things we’re doing. Two guys and one girl in a fur bikini—it’s like the premise of a really bad porno movie. How could I?

  After showing every excruciating detail, the memory rushed on to show the Rai’ku mob breaking down the door to attack and abduct them.

  Becca winced as she saw herself taken from the lodge and flown on the back of a dr’gin to the Ancient’s clearing. Even wor
se was watching the judgment and the Y’grin. Seeing Far fall to his knees and later, Truth topple to the ground after Garron stabbed him, was like feeling the horrible pain and loss all over again.

  But the vision didn’t stop there. It showed Garron carrying her back to his lodge, showed him wrapping her carefully in the silver heat cocoon which was part of the equipment Truth and Far had brought on the shuttle. Then she saw all of them being transported in the hovertracker back to the shuttle.

  Last of all, Mother Superior reminded Becca of her dream.

  She gave a low gasp as she heard herself pleading for her men’s lives.

  “Just let them live—let them be okay and I’ll leave them. Please!” she watched herself beg.

  “Very well,” she heard the little voice whisper. “They will be restored to life and health. But you must keep your word.”

  “I will,” Becca promised fervently in her dream. “I swear I will!”

  “Oh,” Becca whispered as the memories faded leaving only Mother Superior behind.

  “’Oh’ indeed.” Mother Superior frowned at her severely. Was it Becca’s imagination or did she seem even more angry and judgmental than she ever had back at the convent?

  “Mother Superior, please…”

  “Do you begin to understand why I am here? Truth and Far have both been restored to health and yet here you are, consorting with them, acting as though nothing ever happened. Do you intend to keep your promise or not, Rebecca?”

  “I…I…” Becca looked at her men, still frozen by some strange spell in this moment in time. Far with his long mane of blond hair and Truth with his black hair cut military short. Both so different and yet, in many ways, so much alike. Brave, strong, kind, generous, handsome and so very, very dear to her. The thought of leaving them, of cutting them out of her life, made her feel sick. As though she was contemplating cutting out her very heart.

  She turned back to Mother Superior who was all sharp lines and angles, her black habit and white wimple making her look somehow like a carrion crow, ready to peck Becca’s eyes out if she gave the wrong answer. She opened her mouth again, uncertain what she was going to say, but Mother Superior was already fading.

  “Think on it, Rebecca,” her stern voice whispered as she disappeared. “What has been given can be just as easily taken away…”

  And then she was gone and the little sleeping cabin unfroze.

  “…touching it. It seems to have a strange effect on whoever does,” Truth finished. But it had been so long since he started his sentence that Becca had entirely forgotten what he was talking about.

  “Um, okay,” she said weakly. She snatched her hand away from the amulet and curled her fingers into a fist in her lap.

  Truth frowned. “You didn’t actually touch it, did you? Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine,” Becca lied. But she was barely hearing his words. She was still staring at the glowing truthonium, wondering what had just happened.

  It was only a dream, she told herself uneasily, staring at the shifting pendant. But had it been? Had it really? Or was it some kind of a vision—a warning of what was to come if she didn’t keep her promise?

  She could still see the stern look on Mother Superior’s face, could still hear the disapproval in her voice. Becca had made a bargain that she had sworn to keep. What might happen if she broke her word? Would Truth and Far…? But she couldn’t allow herself to finish the thought—it was too awful.

  “Seven Hells.” The hoarse exclamation of pain came from Far.

  Becca dragged her eyes away from the shifting pendant and saw that the light twin was doubled up, apparently in pain.

  Mother of God, it’s starting already! whispered a panicked little voice in her brain. He’s dying again because you want to break your promise! Because you’re too stubborn to learn from your mistakes and do as Mother Superior said.

  “Think on it,” a stern voice whispered in her head. “What has been given can be just as easily taken away…”

  “Brother? Are you well?” Truth went to his twin and put an arm around his shoulders with unusual gentleness.

  “Fine.” Far straightened up but his face was deadly white. “Just a few…lingering effects of the dr’gin poison I’m sure.” He tried to laugh. “I guess I’m not as tough as you.”

  “No, I was just inoculated with the poison as a child,” Truth corrected him. “Making yourself safe around those with dr’gins is part of being O’ahn.”

  “Are the females inoculated as well?” Far was beginning to look a little better—at least he had the strength to be interested in other cultures, which was more like him.

  Garron shook his head. “The inoculation is difficult and expensive to make. Females are considered of little worth to Rai’ku—yet another way they differ from Kindred. Unless a female is chosen by a male and scratched during his transformation, she doesn’t even receive the antidote.”

  “That’s horrible,” Becca said distantly but her mind wasn’t really on the conversation. What she was thinking of was her vision—or had it been a visitation—from Mother Superior?

  I have to leave them. I have to break our bond and go back home.

  It was a terrible feeling—almost as horrible as when she’d been sure her men were dead. But inside, Becca knew it was the right thing to do, even if it made her feel like some sadistic bastard was using their sharpest pair of scissors on her heart.

  “Becca?” she heard Truth say and looked up to see that he and Far were watching her with worried looks on their faces.

  “Are you all right?” Far asked. “I just felt…such a wave of sadness from you.”

  “Sadness and hopelessness,” Truth added. “What is troubling you?”

  “Nothing,” Becca lied. She shook her head and looked away from them. “I just…I’m really tired and I’d like to be alone. Could you…do you think you could leave? All of you?”

  “Oh, well…” Truth looked surprised and Far looked hurt. The feelings of concern and worry that came through their bond made Becca feel horrible. But she knew what she had to do.

  “Go!” she said, raising her voice at them. “Please, just go. I don’t…I can’t look at you right now. Either of you.”

  “Very well,” Truth said stiffly, rising from the side of the bed where he had been sitting. “We will go. We are already through the fold and we should be approaching the Mother Ship soon.”

  “We’ll be back home before you know it,” Far added quietly.

  “Good.” Becca turned her head away, refusing to look at either of them. “The sooner we get there the better.”

  They left the room without another word, filing out of the doorway silently.

  As soon as the door slid shut behind them, Becca turned her head to the wall and wept as quietly as she could. Hot, bitter tears filled her eyes and slid silently down her cheeks—it felt like some small, deadly creature was ripping her apart, using its claws and teeth on her insides.

  But though the pain was horrible, there was no help for it—she knew exactly what she had to do as soon as they got back to the Mother Ship.

  And it was going to hurt like hell.

  * * * * *

  Ur the demon hummed contentedly to himself as he sped back to the Mother Ship. He needed no conveyance to go through space though it did take a lot of energy—energy he considered well spent.

  Had they really thought that by getting the amulet of the Orthanxians they could drive him and his people out? What fools they were! The amulet was powerful, true, and capable of all that three eyed idiot Vashtar had promised—if it was used properly. And Ur had just made certain that it wouldn’t be.

  The amulet’s power was strong—strong enough to give visions to those who touched it. It had been a simple matter to use the girl's dream to twist her guilt and fear and shame into a vision of one she revered and respected. And an even simpler matter to convince her she must leave her two males and never see them again.

  Ur had l
ooked within all of them and seen the eventual outcome. Without their female, both of them were weak. The light twin physically and the dark twin—Truth—emotionally. As soon as the girl was gone, it wouldn’t take long for them to succumb to their frailties.

  Once that happened and the bond was broken—either by a priestess, as the girl was envisioning—or by death, he, Ur, would be waiting. He would take control of the body he had been so rudely cast out of and wear it like a new suit of clothes, reveling in every moment of his long, permanent possession.

  Chapter Forty-one

  “No, I will not break the bond you have formed with your warriors. It is wrong of you to even ask this of me.”

  The priestess, a formidable looking middle aged woman with green streaked hair and glowing green eyes, stared at Becca like she was something that had been scraped from the bottom of her shoe.

  Not that she was wearing shoes—in fact, they were both barefoot since Becca had come straight to the Sacred Grove the moment their shuttle landed inside the Mother Ship. Overhead, the green and purple leaves rustled in the faint breeze and the grass tickled her bare feet. It should have been a peaceful, relaxing place. But Becca couldn’t ever remember feeling so tense in her life.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, lifting her chin and refusing to be intimidated. “But the head priestess of First World told me—well actually, the Goddess told me through her—that I could get this bond broken if I wanted to. And now, well, I want to. More than that—I need to.”

  “And why do you feel this need?” the priestess demanded. “The breaking of a bond is a serious thing. What could possibly cause you to abandon the males the Goddess has given you to love and care for in order to pursue life on your own again?”

  “I don’t want to do it—okay?” Becca burst out. “I have to.” She was beginning to feel like her bond with Truth and Far was some expensive purchase that she had been assured she could bring back at any time but now the saleslady was claiming it was too difficult to make the return.