by Jane Charles
Maybe a little nap won’t be so bad and I roll over to face the back of the couch, my face coming into contact with his crotch.
Is he hard? It certainly looks like that with the way his cock is pushing against his pajama bottoms. Neither one of us bothered to put real clothes on today since we aren’t going anywhere.
I tilt my head back and look up at him.
He’s staring at me. “What?”
I run my finger along the edge of his very hard cock.
“Nina, it’s like that more than it’s not when you are around.”
A thrill runs through me, knowing that I can do that to him. “Me?” I confirm.
“No other girl of my acquaintance can get my flagpole to stand on end just by looking at me. Only you do that, darlin’.” He laughs. “Hell, you don’t even have to look at me half the time, just coming in the room is enough to get things stirring.”
“Is that right?” I ask as I slide off the couch and kneel between his legs.
“And you look right pretty where you are right now.”
“Is that so?” I reach forward and grab his cock through his bottoms, and slide my hand up and down, gripping him. Tex sucks in his breath and then groans.
I love that I can do this to him. That it’s me who gets him hard and not just the fact that I’m a girl willing to have sex with him. When he says no other girl, I believe him because Tex doesn’t lie. That is one thing I know with absolute certainty. He may flatter, but he isn’t going to tell me that I’m the only one if it isn’t true.
My mouth starts to water as the thoughts tumble over.
I let go of his cock and then pull his pants down and sit back on my heels. Damn that thing is big and I’m starting to believe that everything is bigger in Texas. Or at least they grow things bigger there.
Tex reaches for me. “Care to sit on my lap?”
“Nope.” Then I grasp him with one hand and start fondling his balls with the other. He put me over the edge earlier in ways I never dreamed possible and I so want to return the favor.
“What are you doing, Nina?”
“What do you think?” I ask just before I lick the head of his cock and then take him into my mouth.
Tex groans again.
I concentrate on how his cock swells, as I roll his balls in my hand and rub the spot behind them before I take him as deep as I can. His moans grow louder as he swells against my lips and his hands are on my head. I assume he’s trying to guide me to a rhythm he wants but he doesn’t do any of that, just touches me.
I increase the tempo. His breathing hitches and it’s harsh.
“You better back off, Horns.”
Instead, I latch on harder and even though he tries to lift my head away, I don’t let go and take all of him, swallowing as he ejaculates against the back of my throat and continue until he relaxes like a limp rag back into the couch and lets out a sigh.
I can’t help but grin to myself as I finally let go and sit back on my heels.
“Damn!”
“Is that a good damn?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
“As soon as I recover, I am so going to return that favor.”
Fear shoots through me. “Oh, hell no.” I jump to my feet.
His head jerks up. “Why not. You’d like it and I know I would.” He grins.
“It’s gross.” That’s the only thing I can think of to say.
“And what you just did to me isn’t? I’m not following.”
“That….” I gesture to his cock, “is all closed up and stuff, the girl stuff is open, and, um, ewww.”
“Not as far as I’m concerned.” He reaches for me.
I step back. “It is to me.” My heart is beating with panic. I don’t even know if I would like something like that, but it’s never happening. “I need a shower.”
She just gave me the best head any guy has probably ever gotten in his life, but won’t let me taste her?
I really want to taste her.
Surely it can’t disgust her that much, can it. Maybe nobody has tried and she doesn’t know how nice it can be.
It would be a shame if she never lets me but that’s not going to stop me from asking.
I grab the quilt Nina had been under and recline back on the couch trying to figure out what just happened. Not the blow job. That was pretty clear. She liked giving and I sure as hell liked getting. But it was after that something was off, and I can’t put my finger on it.
This is all new for us still and maybe Nina just needs to get more comfortable with me, like when she wanted the blankets up to her waist, no matter what we were doing.
Maybe she’s just modest and needs to get used to me and us. Except, she got naked from the waist up in the kitchen, so she’s not that modest.
I sit forward and rub a hand over my face.
Is she trying to hide something?
Everything about her is perfect. At least everything I’ve seen is perfect, and I’m sure everything I haven’t seen is too. She sure as hell felt perfect when I was inside of her.
Though, now that I think about it, I don’t think she’d ever done any trimming or shaving there. Not that I care. But don’t most girls at least trim if they don’t completely shave or wax? It has been a while, like a year, since I’ve been with anybody, so maybe girls are turning to the more natural state, though I find that hard to believe.
Maybe that’s why she’s embarrassed, because she hasn’t waxed, trimmed or whatever it is girls do for hair removal? If so, that’s just silly.
And, maybe that’s why she just headed into the shower, to take care of that little matter. That is the only thing I can think of as to why she wanted to keep herself covered.
And maybe, I just need to convince Nina that she’s perfect just the way she is.
Plus, a shower sounds kind of nice about now.
With a grin I get up off the couch, not bothering to pull my boxers or bottoms back up and head down the hall and open the bathroom door. There is so much steam that I can barely see her on the other side of the glass doors.
I expected her to be washing her hair or her body, or maybe even shaving her pubes, but Nina has her hands flat against the wall of the shower, arms stretched out, with her head down as the water beats on her upper back. That’s what I’ve done a few times after a hard workout in the ring or on the bag, but Nina hasn’t done anything. At least nothing that would make her upper back and shoulders sore.
“I’ve got some oil and I can massage your sore muscles,” I say as I open the glass door.
Nina’s head whips around and nails me with a look. “What are you doing in here?”
“Thought I’d join you. Saving water and all of that.”
Nina looks away and drops her head.
I study her back, smooth but toned, down to her narrow waist, the dip at her lower back and to the most perfect ass I’ve ever seen.
“Please go away.”
Her voice is choked, like she’s crying.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t want you to see me.”
“I’ve already seen you, at least most of you.”
“Exactly! Most!”
Shit! I shouldn’t have given her privacy. Now I’ve really just fucking screwed up. She’s not just mad at me. She’s upset, hurting and I don’t think it’s all me.
But, I think she’s crying and I can’t just walk away from that.
“Are you crying? What’s going on?”
“I should have known this would happen,” she says after a moment.
“That we’d end up in the shower together?” I’m so confused.
“I should have known that once we had sex you wouldn’t be satisfied with what I offered.”
Satisfied? “I am way beyond satisfied,” I assure her, afraid I’m going to say the wrong thing.
“Then why are you in here?”
“Because I can’t get enough of you.” I might as well be honest.
“That’
s not being satisfied.”
I guess she’s right.
She straightens, pulling away from the wall. “You aren’t going to stop because that is how you are.”
“Nina, I’ll go. I’m sorry I intruded.”
I start to back away. I made sure I had consent and that we were both on the same page before I got in bed with her, but even though it wasn’t my intention, I just committed a violation against her.
“No.” She sniffs. “I might as well get this over with now.”
“Get what over with?”
Slowly she turns and faces me.
I look into her eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come in here. I thought after what we’ve shared.”
“That you could invade my privacy?”
My face heats. “I’m really sorry, Nina. I’ll go.”
“You haven’t even looked.”
I’m intentionally keeping my eyes focused on her face. “You want to keep something private and I’m going to give that to you. I still haven’t seen what you are hiding and I won’t look. You can show me in time, or never.” Whatever she’s hiding is between her knees and her hipbones because I’ve seen everything else. But, I’m not looking right now because earning back Nina’s trust is a hell of a lot more important.
She blows out a breath. “You might as well, then it will be out of the way and I won’t have to worry about it anymore. But, once you see, you’ll understand why the blankets never go down and you’re not going to want to look ever again either.”
Okay, now she has me worried. What can be so bad that I don’t want to look at her?
“Eyes down, Tex. Let’s get this over with.”
Slowly I take in her body, from her neck, toned shoulders and arms, full breasts with coral nipples, the flat planes of her abdomen to the triangle of dark brown curls at the apex of her thighs, down her fucking, perfect and tone legs to her feet and toes. I’ve never really seen Nina’s feet before, but I’m not surprised that she doesn’t have painted nails. I look back up into her eyes. “I see absolutely nothing that you should be worried about.”
Nina frowns at me. “Look again, with your eyes and not your cock.
“My cock?”
“Yeah, it’s pretty hard right now.”
“I warned you that it happens around you and you are fucking beautiful.”
“That’s not happening here. That’s not happening now.”
I’m totally good with that because something else is happening between us, but I can’t help that that I got hard, it’s not like I can control that. She is right in front of me and naked as the day she was born.
I look down again, concentrating on the areas that she’s kept covered and then I see them. Several round white scars on her left thigh, up to her hip and disappearing into her pubic hair. I drop to my knees to get a closer look. “Are those cigarette burns?” I ask the question just as it comes to my mind.
Nina starts to shake and I look up. Her face is covered in water but I’m pretty sure some of those drops are tears.
“It’s why I don’t wax or shave. I’d keep them all hidden if I could.”
I’m not sure what hits me first. The rage that someone would do this to Nina or the pain of what she must have endured. The pain she is still carrying.
Getting back up to my feet, I pull her into my arms and just hold her as the hot water washes over both of us. She’s shaking and I’m pretty sure she’s crying. I reach around her and turn off the shower and then grab a thick towel, wrapping it around her, then I grab the robe that hangs on the back of the bathroom door and put her arms in the sleeves then tie the belt around her waist.
She’s limp, like she’s defeated. Never, in the two and a half years that I have known her has Nina ever behaved as if she’d been defeated. She’s strong and amazing and I need to make sure she remembers that.
Her hair is still dripping so I grab another towel and wrap it around her head before I get a towel for myself and knot it at my hips before picking her up and carrying her back into the living room and settle on the couch with Nina on my lap and then I pull the quilt over both of us.
Nina’s not saying a word, but lets her head rest on my shoulder.
My brain is screaming to ask her when, and I want the name so I can go kill the bastard who did this to her, but the rest of me just wants to hold her, hoping she can feel my love and praying that I haven’t lost her trust.
26
I knew this was going to happen eventually. Tex warned me that he wanted to know everything. I just wish this would have been later. Much later.
Humiliation engulfed me to be standing there, naked, for him to inspect my body. Nobody has seen me naked since I was a kid, when I was still young enough to need help taking a bath. But, after Tex came in, and knowing how stubborn he could be, I just wanted it over with, and I’m pretty sure he’s horrified and won’t ask me to ever show him that part of me again.
What I don’t get is why I can’t stop shaking?
I’ve lived with these scars for years and am able to ignore them most of the time. I just don’t look, but getting close to Tex reminded me they were there, even though it’s not like I could forget. But, it’s a memory I wish I could banish, along with everything else that came after that, including the fear and the fear of what I learned later, and knowing how close I came to being a very dead victim.
I hide the scars because I don’t want the memories. I hide the scars because I don’t want anyone to ask about them. I hide the scars because they are ugly and I don’t want the sympathy of anyone who sees them.
There was a lot of sympathy in Tex’s eyes, but something more. Pain, love, anger.
“Is this why you always want shorts down to your knees instead of the shorter rugby shorts the other girls wear?” he asks into the silence.
I simply nod. The burns go halfway down my thigh and regular shorts don’t hide them. “I’ve been thinking of getting a tattoo on my leg,”
“Really?” He seems interested and sounds a lot calmer than what I saw in his eyes earlier. “Of what?”
I smile against his chest. “Skull and rattle snake. A steer skull, of course.”
The rumbling of his chuckle reverberates in my ear. “That would look mighty sweet. Black and Grey?”
“Yeah. I don’t think I’d like color.”
“Then you’ll have to go with the regular shorts. You don’t want to be covering that up. With Horns on the back of your jersey and that tattoo on your thigh, you are going to intimidate the hell out of the opponents.”
It’s nice, talking about the tattoo I planned and not the reason or what it’s covering, but I know he’s going to ask. Even if not today, one day Tex will and I’d rather get it out of the way. Especially since I’m on his lap and covered in a quilt. Warm and safe. Nothing bad is going to happen when Tex’s arms are around me.
I never thought I’d ever feel that way about anyone, but Tex does make me feel safe. Safer than I’ve felt in a really long time. Maybe the safest I’ve felt since Dylan was taking care of us.
“Nina, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come in on you like that. I won’t do something like that without your permission again.”
Of course not. He’s not going to want to see the scars any more than I do. “Why did you?”
“I’m too embarrassed to say.”
“You just saw me naked, and something I never wanted to show anyone, ever, so you better fess up.”
“I didn’t get why you didn’t want me to see you below the hips or why you were against me giving you oral. Then I figured it was probably because you don’t wax or shave.”
My face starts to heat.
“I was going to tell you that I don’t care about any of that.”
“I don’t do those things because I want to hide as many of the scars as I can, not that it matters. I really can’t stand the hair, to tell you the truth, and hidden doesn’t mean they’re gone.”
“Shave or wax, or don�
��t do anything, it won’t make a bit of difference to me,” Tex assures me. Why should it? He won’t be looking there anymore. Hell, he might not even want to touch me again. The ugliness of those scars must be a huge turnoff. At least I got to experience really good sex with him before he got disgusted. “Trust me, hot wax is the last thing I want in that area.”
“Can’t say I blame you there.”
Tex has his arms around me and one hand is rubbing up and down my back, and we just sit in silence and I wait. The questions never come. Finally I pull back and look up him. “Why haven’t you asked?”
He kisses me really gently and then pulls back. “You’ll tell me in your own time or you won’t.”
I didn’t expect that. Tex is always wanting to know everything, sometimes pushy.
“All I know is that you went through a kind of hell nobody should have to go through.”
Are there tears in his eyes?
“I want to kill the bastard who did that to you but I also don’t want to ever let you off my lap again, and I want to protect you with everything I have. I love you Nina, and it kills me that someone hurt you like that.”
She didn’t tell me what happened. Of course I want to know, but I’m not going to ask. I’ve invaded enough of her privacy already. The rest of the night was really quiet. Eventually she got up off my lap, once she was done shaking. I still don’t know why she was, unless it’s because she was so pissed at me. But, if she was, it was the first time she held back on telling someone to fuck off.
While she combed out her wet hair, I made the pizza, but I kept a close eye on her. Then, we just watched television until we were tired enough for bed. The snow did eventually stop, but the harsh wind didn’t. If it’s still like this tomorrow, there will be no point in shoveling.
Nina is on her side, asleep and I’m curled around her. I thought she was done with me, but when we headed down the hall, she grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room. “Sleep with me. No sex. Just sleep.”
I was totally cool with that. I didn’t want to be a room away from her either. And, she’s too fragile to do anything but sleep right now.
