All Horns & Rattles: A Baxter Boys Novel

by Jane Charles

  All the photos that are on his feed were put there by this Ryan guy.

  “That looks like New Year’s Eve.”

  It’s a picture of a group of people and I read the names. They are all familiar because they are the same ones popping up over and over, like they are his best friends. I read them and try to figure out who is who. “Dylan, Kelsey, Alex, Joy, Christian, Mia, Zach, Alyssa, Sean, Zoe, Ryan, Kate. We’re only missing Scarlet. Oh, and photobomb by Ian.”

  “Ian,” Tex and I say at the same time.

  It’s hard to see who that is in the background grinning, but it sure looks like Ian Kraft.

  I click on the name and go straight to Ian’s page. I can’t believe that the Ian who is working out right now, works with me and Tex, may know my brother.

  Tex grabs his phone because I’m sure he intends to call Ian about this.

  “He’s working out.”

  “Be right back.” Tex gets up.

  “Don’t tell him why I want to know anything.” I don’t want Ian running to Dylan before I have a chance to talk to Dylan first, but I’m not going to ignore an opportunity to find out more about my brother either.

  Ian is doing bench lifts and Joel is spotting him when I find the two in the workout room.

  “Hey, Ian, I need to ask about a picture on your Facebook page.”

  He does two more presses and then lets the bar rest on the rack and sits up. “Which one?” he grabs a towel and wipes his face.

  “It looks like it’s from New Year’s Eve by all the silly hats and streamers.”

  He frowns.

  “You photobombed a group.”

  Then he grins. “Oh yeah, that.”

  “Who are they?” I blurt out.

  “Why?” He gets up and wipes his sweat from the bench.

  “Just curious. A couple of them looked familiar.” I am such a lousy liar, but I can’t tell them the truth. Nina doesn’t want me to.

  “If it’s the one I’m thinking about, none of them work out here and they are done with school.”

  That doesn’t help me at all and it’s not want I’m wanting to know.

  “What are they like?”

  “Why?”

  I look between Ian and Joel. “Because Horns wants to know.”

  “Why?” Joel frowns, his brow wrinkling in confusion. “She’s like five or six years younger than them.

  I wish they’d just fucking tell me. If Ian knows them then Joel probably does too.

  “Horns thinks she knows one of the guys.” She is so going to kill me, but these two aren’t answering any questions.

  “I doubt it. Her life was high school, here and the diner, unless one of them ate there.” Joel lays down on the bench and wraps his hands around the bar.

  “It’s not the diner.” I say.

  “Why doesn’t she just click on the links…?” Joel lets go of the bar and sits up and gives me a questioning look. “What is Horn’s name? Nina? Right?”

  I’m not surprised that half the people around here forgot her real name, if they ever knew it. “Yeah.”

  “Fuck!” says Ian as he rubs his temples. “Tell me her last name isn’t White.”

  “As in the little sister Dylan has been looking for?” Joel asks. Then looks at Joel and throws up his arms. “Holy shit. I never made the fucking connection.”

  “I’d forgotten she’s Nina,” Ian is shaking his head. “Damn.”

  Well, those two know a hell of a lot more than I thought they would. And, Nina is going to kill me.

  “He has been looking for her,” Joel says.

  “He’s going to kick our asses when he finds out we know her and never said anything.” They both start for the front of the gym where Nina is.

  Shit! I get out there before they do.

  “You are Dylan’s little sister?” Ian asks as he comes up from behind me.

  “You told them.” The accusation in her eyes is like a punch to the gut.

  “They figured it out on their own. All I said is that you might know someone in the picture.”

  “Dude, we need to call Dylan.” Joel pulls a phone out of his shorts pocket.

  “Oh, hell no you don’t.”

  At Nina’s order they both stop and look at her like she’s lost her mind.

  “Look, I just found him and I’m just getting my head wrapped around the idea of a possible reunion. Do not tell him you know me or know where I am.”

  “Nina. The guy’s been going half-crazy wondering what happened to you,” Ian says.

  I’m really glad someone else is pushing her to make contact.

  “How the hell do you even know that?”

  “From him and Alyssa. When you disappeared, he about lost his shit because he thought he’d finally have you after the first of the year.”

  She sits back and studies him. “Who is Alyssa?”

  Joel walks over and points to a girl with dark, long hair and red lips. “She’s a bartender at the Poison Apple.”

  “That’s where this was taken?”

  “Yep.”

  She pins them both with a look. “I want you to tell me everything you know about my brother.”

  35

  The blank messenger window is sitting there. Whatever I write will be sent to Dylan and Noah. I just wish I could figure out what that’s going to be. I could just call, but I’m more comfortable just sending a message right now.

  It was going to be sent from Tex’s account but the guys told me it may not be opened since they don’t know him, and they made me set up a Facebook account for me because they will accept a message from Nina White. All three of them, Tex, Ian and Joel have been hovering and walking me through all this. Tex even grabbed a picture of me from his page that was taken after a game last fall and made it my profile picture.

  “They are going to want to know what you look like,” Joel said.

  As far as personal information—that’s all hidden. Nobody needs to know where I’m at, my birthday, where I work, where I went to school, any of that.

  But, what the hell do I say to my brothers? This is Nina, your long lost sister? So lame.

  At least I’m no longer worried that Dylan turned bad in the system. According to Joel and Ian, he is a great guy, who wants his family, and is in love with Mary. He’s a food critic, has his own blog and also writes for other newspapers and magazines. He linked a lot of them on his page and I spent time reading through them, trying to get to know Dylan and Noah before I actually take the step in really getting to know them.

  Why am I so fucking afraid to contact my brothers? They want to find me and I want to know them, but what if they don’t like me. It’s been twelve years.

  Damn, and here I thought the hardest thing I’ve done is letting Tex see my scars. Talking to my brothers shouldn’t be that hard, but it’s also a chance of rejection on a totally different level.

  “Do it, Horns,” Tex calls from the office.

  Ian and Joel are sitting in there with him just talking. They said they aren’t leaving until I contact Dylan because they sure as hell don’t want to have to face him and not be able to tell him anything.

  Hey, Dylan and Noah. This is Nina.

  I’m not sure what to say. I really never expected to find you. I thought maybe you forgot about me or didn’t want me around because it’s been twelve years. Friends have been pushing me to at least look for you, so here I am. I found you. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do when I found Dylan on Facebook, but I had to go to child services today and Mrs. Kragen told me how you guys had been looking and showed me the letters Noah wrote.

  I guess that’s about it. If you want to meet or talk, message me back.

  It’s lame but what else do I say? I put myself out there so I guess I’ll just wait and see if they respond.

  It’s barely two in the afternoon. Dylan could be working or something and I have no clue what time it is in Italy, so who knows when they will respond to me.

  The little icon
with the outline of two people is red so I click on it. I have three friend requests. Tex, Ian and Joel. I hadn’t really planned on actually doing anything with my page, but I go ahead and accept them and look back over my shoulder. All three are grinning at me.

  “Did you send it?” Tex calls.

  “I sent it.”

  The message icon lights and my heartbeat skips as I click on the messages.

  * * *

  Dylan White:

  Nina,

  I’ve looked everywhere. Where the hell did you go? How are you? Where can I find you?

  * * *

  PvtNJW:

  Nina,

  So glad you finally got online and found us.

  * * *

  I expected them to respond, but not immediately.

  * * *

  Nina White:

  So, how are you guys?

  * * *

  Dylan White:

  Fucking perfect now that we finally found you. Or, are in contact with you. WHERE ARE YOU?

  * * *

  Nina White:

  New York

  * * *

  PvtNJW:

  City or state?

  * * *

  Nina White:

  Both

  * * *

  Dylan White:

  What’s your address? I’ll be right there.

  * * *

  My heart is pounding. I barely send a reply before one of them is replying back, rapid fire, like we are in a face to face conversation.

  * * *

  Nina White:

  How about if I meet you somewhere first?

  * * *

  Dylan White:

  When and where?

  * * *

  I glance back at the guys. “What time does the Poison Apple open?”

  “Five,” Joel answer.

  “Can I get in?”

  “That early, yeah, because they have food,” answers Ian.

  “Is it busy?”

  “Probably won’t be tonight, why?”

  “Because you are taking me there.”

  * * *

  Nina White:

  The Poison Apple at six?

  * * *

  Dylan doesn’t respond as quickly as he did before. Is there a reason he doesn’t want me to go to the bar he goes to? Is he hiding something?

  * * *

  Dylan White:

  Six is good but how the hell do you know Ian and Joel and why the hell didn’t they tell me they knew you?

  * * *

  I just smile at his response. I guess he checked out my page and friends like I did his. I don’t want Dylan pissed at his friends though.

  Nina White:

  We just figured it all out, the connection, about an hour ago and they’ve been hovering over me until I sent you a message.

  * * *

  Dylan White:

  Remind me to buy them a beer. Can’t wait to see you, Nina. I’ve waited twelve years so don’t be late.

  * * *

  PvtWhite:

  Post a picture you two. Wish I could be there.

  * * *

  Nina White:

  Me too.

  * * *

  Dylan White:

  Me three

  * * *

  PvtWhite:

  And Jade would say, “Me four.”

  Tears spike and I quickly wipe them away. It is so something she would say because she was always afraid of being left out. Today she is left out and will be for the next two years.

  I really wish Nina would have let me go with her, but she said this was something she had to do on her own. She did take Ian though and Joel is hanging back with me in case we get a bunch of members in tonight. I doubt that will happen. It’s colder than a witch’s tit outside and a lot of the roads and sidewalks are getting icy.

  “When’s Miguel getting back?” Joel asks.

  “Sunday. Funeral is Friday.”

  “It’s a damn shame.” He shakes his head.

  “That’s why he’s been on Horns to find her family.”

  Miguel would want to know what Nina is up to so I grab the phone and give him a call to update him.

  “She is going to see him now, with Ian.”

  Miguel starts asking me all kinds of questions about Dylan, as if now he’s afraid of her meeting him because he’s a stranger. I can’t figure that guy out and hand the phone off to Joel since he knows Nina’s brother.

  After about half an hour of grilling by Miguel, Joel gives me back the phone.

  “He sounds like a good guy.”

  “Sounds that way,” I agree.

  “Good, now maybe Nina can have a real home.”

  I sit forward. Real home? “What do you mean?”

  “She should be living with family.”

  She just unpacked for the first time in twelve years. “She has a home, with us.”

  “We are not blood.”

  “Dylan might not even have a place for her.” And I sure as hell don’t want her living anywhere else.

  “We will see, but if there is, I want her with her brother.”

  “She might not want to be.” But what if she does want to move out?

  “I’ll talk to her about it when I get back.”

  I sure hope to hell them meeting with Dylan goes good because Nina is going to be crushed if Miguel tells her to leave. “She might not want to leave.”

  “Nina doesn’t always know what is best for her.”

  There is going to be no getting through to him right now. I’m sure it’s his brother’s death, but before he has Nina packing her bags again, I’ll need to sit down and have a heart to heart with Miguel. Maybe he doesn’t know this is the first time she’s really settled in somewhere since she was a kid.

  36

  Joel and I stop right outside of the Poison Apple and I take a deep breath.

  “It’s going to be fine,” Ian says.

  “I know.” At least, I think I know. I was all ready to go meet my brother a few hours ago. The short exchange in messenger was good and I was comfortable. But now, the nerves are mounting. As much as I want to see my brother again, it has to be on my terms. I won’t be vulnerable to anyone. Not even him.

  Ian holds open the door and I step inside. The place is practically empty and the first thing I see is the bar and Alyssa, I think, wiping down the bar. She smiles at me like we know each other or something.

  A guy with short hair and tatted up arms is sitting at a table with a woman with long, dark curly hair. They would be Alex and Kelsey.

  All the people in here are the people in Dylan’s photos. I looked at them so much that the names are practically memorized.

  Christian, with his shoulder length, dark straight hair is setting up equipment up on the stage. Helping him, a muscular bald guy—Sean.

  At another table, Ryan, blond, with a camera sitting beside his beer. With him is Zach, in I guess his natural state, not the drag queen look.

  Sitting on the edge of the stage, watching us is Mia with her short black hair and Zoe, with her long blonde hair.

  And last, standing at the far end of the bar is Joy, shoulder length, brown hair and Kate, long blondish hair.

  Every one of them is looking at me. The only person from Dylan’s photos who is not here is Dylan.

  “Why are they here?” I whisper to Ian.

  “My guess is that Dylan told them and they are being nosy.”

  “Well, this isn’t awkward at all,” I say quietly.

  He leads me over to a seat away from the rest of them.

  “Stay with me?” I so don’t want him walking away and leaving me to sit by myself while Dylan’s friends watch me like I’m an animal caged in a zoo, because that’s exactly what I feel like right now.

  “Of course.” He laughs and takes a seat. “They really aren’t so bad once you get to know them.”

  The door opens and Dylan steps in and stops. “What the hell are all of you doing here?”

  “I work
here,” Alyssa defends with a grin.

  “You’re meeting your sister,” Mia calls to him.

  “Yes, my sister and she doesn’t need you guys gawking at her.”

  “But dude, she’s your family. We’re anxious too,” Zach says.

  “I should have known better than to think you guys would give me any privacy. Try to disappear before she gets here.”

  Alyssa points a finger in my direction. “Too late.”

  He jerks around and our eyes meet.

  “I’ll just go hang out at the bar.” Ian gets up from the table and moves away from me as Dylan starts forward. He looks just like his photos. His dark hair is a little long, but his beard isn’t so scruffy any more, and his hand is wrapped up, but I’m not sure if it’s splints and bandages or a cast.

  I stand up and he holds up an arm.

  Um, guess he doesn’t know I’m not the hugging type.

  But I used to be.

  It’s almost as if I can’t stop myself as my feet move toward him and then his good arm is around me, holding me close and my face is pressed against his heart.

  Home!

  No! I won’t slip into that immediately. He may be my brother but I know nothing about him, other than what Joel and Ian have told me, and what I could learn from Facebook. I’m not setting myself up to get hurt. He needs to earn my trust, just like everyone else, even if he is blood.

  He pulls back and looks down at me. “It is so fucking good to see you.” He grins. “Where the hell did you go?”

  I glance over his shoulder, to our audience, who are all smiling and I have to pull away from him.

  “Ignore them.”