Soulbound to a Dragon

by Kurtis Eckstein

  Eli…

  I hadn’t been considering having children anytime soon, primarily due to the threat on my life, but I knew I might want them eventually. Except, now I knew I was destined to only have one at most, who would take my life with his or her birth.

  I didn’t want to do that to Eli. I didn’t want to pass this curse on to his child. I didn’t want to leave him alone the moment our baby was born…

  Which meant I couldn’t really have a relationship with him after all, or anyone for that matter. All it would take is a moment of weakness, for me to allow him inside of me just once, and that could seal our fate – his fate, my fate, and our child’s fate.

  The feline goddess appeared amused by my internal turmoil, seeming to read my mind. ‘Yes, that’s right my child. There really is no choice after all, is there? One way or another I will have my meal. However, for the time being, my power is yours to control, so I will appear before my people and give you the words to say. It is not within my power to demand my host be slain, so instead I will demand they allow you to live for now. I will demand they submit to their goddess, with promises to return to my people once I am finished with you.’

  Her words did little to reassure me, as my heart began to break.

  She then purred in pleasure – a deep sound that sickened me to the core. ‘My child, your mother placed that ethereal lock on me the moment you were born. Had you not unsealed it just now, then you would have avoided this fate that presently plagues you. But now it is too late. I am free, and your soul will be mine in due time. By unsealing me, you have sealed your own fate to one of loneliness and despair, as was your father’s fate before you, and all those who came before him. Now go and speak the words I give you.’

  My heart shattered all over again as the demon before me vanished. She didn’t even give me time to process the implications this had for my father – like the real reason why he had abandoned me. Or the implication that I was partially responsible for his death. Or that my mother had tried to prevent this fate from happening to me too. That they both had sacrificed everything to protect me from this.

  And I had undone it all in an instant.

  Suddenly, I was back in the chamber full of elderfel, their bloodthirsty cries stopped short.

  Time was no longer frozen, and yet everyone froze, shocked by what they saw sitting before them.

  The panther who had been about to attack me fell to the ground, wrapped in red ethereal chains belonging to the goddess Alabast. And the female panther with the knife was bound likewise. I looked down at my hands wrapped in metal chains to see that my entire body was glowing with a red hue, and then looked up to see that I was sitting in the middle of the monstrous translucent form of the goddess…no, of the demon, who the elderfel worshipped.

  Without my permission, my mouth opened up and a series of hisses and guttural sounds erupted from my throat as the goddess gave me the words to speak to her people. I didn’t understand the noises coming out of my mouth, but I did understand the message the demon Alabast was transmitting.

  “You fools!” I exclaimed in the elderfel’s language. “Do you find me incompetent?! I, your goddess Alabast, have chosen this vessel intentionally. Or do you think that my previous prophet Rashnra was not within my control? Fools! I am your goddess, and I will do as I please! I will use this vessel to accomplish my goals, and then I will slay her myself so that I may return to my people.”

  My voice then paused for emphasis, as the demon Alabast continued her speech, my words shifting to a more gentle tone briefly before becoming harsh again. “Trust me my servants, and you shall be rewarded. However, if you dare think yourselves wiser than I, then I will punish you by never returning once this child has perished! Dare test the resolve of your goddess Alabast and suffer the consequences for all of eternity! You have been so warned!” I paused one last time, before issuing a final command. “Now, return this vessel to where you found her, and do not touch her again! Your goddess has spoken!”

  And then she was gone. The crimson ethereal feline disappeared, and I was alone again in the middle of the stone podium. However, the red chains binding the two panthers remained, because I was in control of those chains now.

  I looked around at all the elderfel who were still stunned from the appearance of their goddess. I then took a shaky breath, my heart heavy, knowing what I needed to do. The demon had done her part as promised, but now I needed to release the two who wanted me dead so that a decision would be made.

  Unfortunately, it appeared Alabast hadn’t convinced either panther, because the male immediately got up and proceeded to hit me anyway. His fist barreled into the side of my head so hard that I slammed into the stone podium almost blacking out. However, much to my surprise, a massive uproar followed with hisses and guttural noises erupting throughout the entire chamber. For a split second, I wasn’t sure what was going on, but then I quickly realized the two panthers were in an argument with the mob of elderfel.

  The hissing and guttural words thrashed back and forth between the two sides until finally I was being dragged off the raised platform by a group that appeared to be on the side of the goddess. They quickly undid the chains wrapped around me and stood me on my feet – a five-foot imp standing amongst giant cats – while the majority of the elderfel continued to argue with a small group of those who opposed releasing me. However, as I watched them argue in a daze, my despair not allowing me to focus and the side of my head throbbing, I began to sense that the side supporting me was going to win – not because of their numbers, but because their overall argument would be superior.

  If the goddess was lying, then they had nothing to lose if they let me live, because I would die eventually. Thus, the worst-case scenario was that I passed the goddess off to my offspring, which they could just kill in order to have the goddess return to the elderfel. However, if the goddess was telling the truth, then they risked her abandoning them forever by disobeying her very clear orders. Obviously, they didn’t know her true intentions, but who were they to question the wisdom of their goddess?

  Eli had finally caught up, but I used our magical bond to demand he wait, and he surprisingly did. He had turned his entire body invisible like he had shown me the day before yesterday when I first met him – had it really only been two days? – but I could sense his presence down the hallway, waiting patiently while he watched and listened to their arguing from a distance.

  Part of me was glad that he was here to save me. But part of me also ached in pain, knowing I couldn’t be with him. I couldn’t do that to him, or our child. I never knew it would hurt so much to have everything I wanted for a brief few seconds, only to have it all torn away from me.

  There wasn’t a word strong enough to describe my devastation. My heart shattered all over again when I thought about our child, and how much I suddenly wanted a child with him. I wanted him inside of me. I wanted his baby inside of me.

  But doing so would destroy us all.

  I tried to hide my tears while the ceaseless arguing continued. It was a miracle I was even able to remain on my feet. I felt like I was going to fall apart any second.

  Finally, the mob won the argument and one of the elderfel picked me up in his arms to carry me back through the tunnels. I cried silently into his blue furry chest, trying to hide my torment from Eli. Only four other elderfel came with the one carrying me, but I knew that the mob was blocking the entrance to the hallway, preventing any of the opposition from chasing me down.

  Eli carefully avoided the small group and then silently followed after us. I used the opportunity to try to sort through my emotions, and make a decision on how to proceed with my miserable life. My fate was sealed, that much was certain. There was nothing I could do about it. When I died, I would have my soul eaten by the goddess. My mother had attempted to prevent that fate, but I had messed it up. If I hadn’t tried to stop my death just a little while ago, then at least my soul would have lived on…

  Maybe I wou
ld have even seen my mother again.

  But now I would suffer the same fate as my father, Rashnra.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I thought to them. ‘You both tried to save me, and I ruined it.’

  I had no doubt my father must have loved me after all. He clearly abandoned his people in order to find a mage who had the right magic to prevent his firstborn from suffering the same fate as him. And yet, his efforts had been wasted by my ignorance and stupidity.

  Sulking wasn’t going to help me now though. I needed to figure out what to do about Eli. He didn’t deserve to share this fate. He deserved more than this – more than me.

  That only left one option. I had to push him away.

  I wasn’t sure how I could do it though. We were bound together by this stupid enslavement magic, which wouldn’t be broken unless one of us died. And unfortunately for him, I wouldn’t be able to take my own life, because I really did want to live. I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want my soul to be eaten either, but there wasn’t anything I could do about that part.

  So then, if I couldn’t leave him physically, without the magic activating and forcing me to stay, then I would have to leave him emotionally. I would have to say I made a mistake. That I didn’t really want him.

  That I didn’t really love him.

  An uncontrollable sob erupted from my chest. It was the first sound I had made while I had been silently crying, but I couldn’t keep it in. My entire body spasmed as I tried to hold back another one, but it came anyway. Thankfully, the elderfel carrying me didn’t seem to care. Despite their commitment to their goddess, I knew they still cared nothing for me. They would follow her orders, delivering me to where they found me, but that’s all I could expect. And that was fine with me.

  Eli used our bond to attempt to comfort me, pushing his thoughts through. I tried to ignore him, knowing it would make it worse, but I couldn’t.

  ‘I’m right here. I won’t leave you. I love you.’

  I knew that. He didn’t need to say it. I already knew, but that was the problem.

  I cried even harder.

  Chapter 14: Hope

  The small group of five elderfel didn’t take me all the way back to where they had kidnapped me. Instead, they brought me to the surface, setting me down on the ground in the middle of the forest, and then retreated back into the ruins.

  I fell to my knees and sat down on my heels, feeling numb. I had finally stopped crying, but now my body didn’t feel anything. My only two options were to either curse Eli and our firstborn child, or else push him away so that he might find someone else to love. Maybe Risa.

  It was true that she couldn’t have children, but at least that meant he could sleep with her without risking her death. They could live a long and happy life together, having a normal physical relationship, which was something I couldn’t offer him.

  But I supposed that option wasn’t so bad. If I had to choose anyone for him, I’d pick her in a heartbeat. Even though I hadn’t known her for long, I knew she was beautiful, kind, and loyal. I had no doubt she would be faithful and loving towards him, and I knew there was foundationally already something sparking between them.

  I didn’t think I’d have the resolve necessary to actually try to play matchmaker, but I suspected that if I could successfully push Eli away then it would happen on its own. I just had to do my part.

  The moment the elderfel disappeared back into the ruins, I felt Eli wrap his arms around me from behind. He was still invisible, just in case they reappeared, but it was clear he had become impatient in his desire to console me.

  I wanted to resist, because I knew it was time. I knew I needed to push him away now. But his warm embrace made me lose my nerve, and I didn’t have the energy to put up a fight. I wasn’t strong enough to struggle against my need for his comfort, which he gave so freely and willingly.

  “I really do love you,” he whispered in my ear. His warm breath made my ear twitch.

  My face contorted in grief as he spoke the exact words I had so desperately wanted to hear my entire life. But he deserved better than me. I had to do it.

  “You…” I fail to continue, collecting myself and trying again. “You…don’t even know me,” I finally managed. I knew that wasn’t much of a defense though. Parents often loved their children without ‘knowing’ them, and I knew I sincerely loved Eli without knowing everything about him. Yet, it was the only defense I had.

  I felt his body tense in response, confused by my statement. “Riel, what’s wrong?” He asked, deeply concerned.

  “I…” I closed my eyes even more tightly, afraid I wasn’t going to be able to do it. But I did. “I don’t love you.”

  Eli leaned away then, rapidly pulling me into his lap like a ragdoll and grabbing my chin in his fingers to force me to look at him. He was visible now. And naked again.

  “That’s a lie,” he said firmly. “You told me you loved me not long ago, more than once in fact.”

  I wanted to try to deny it, to say that it didn’t count since I hadn’t actually said it out loud, or that I had just said it because I was afraid I’d never see him again. But it was clear in his eyes that his resolve was much stronger than mine.

  “Now tell me Riel,” he demanded, “what’s really going on? Is it because of what their goddess said?”

  I gasped. “You heard that?”

  He eyed me carefully. “I’m not sure how much of it I missed, but I definitely heard the last part.”

  My eyes widened in shock. “B-But you don’t speak their language,” I countered in disbelief. I knew for a fact that the words coming out of my mouth were nothing like words spoken in the human language.

  Eli gave me a weak smile. “My mother was more than just a mage. She was somewhat of a linguist too. She spoke the language of dragons, elves, dwarves, worgron, and even elderfel. The only language she didn’t know very well was that of the golydin. She said their native tongue just didn’t make any sense to her at all.” He paused. “She used her illusion magic to make herself invisible when around them,” he added.

  “Y-You speak their language?” I just couldn’t believe it. This wasn’t happening. How was I going to push him away if he knew?

  He sighed and shook his head. “Well, not exactly. I’m not fluent at all, and the goddess must have been speaking a different dialect than what I learned, because I didn’t understand a lot of it. But I did understand it well enough to have gotten a general idea of what she was saying. At least, I understood the part about you being her vessel.”

  I immediately closed my eyes, wanting to look away, but unable to with his hand holding my chin firmly in place. He picked up on the hint though and let go for a moment, pulling my head against his muscled chest instead. I didn’t try to fight it.

  “Riel,” he whispered against my ear, “please tell me what’s going on.”

  “I can’t,” I replied quietly.

  “Why not?” He asked seriously.

  I hesitated, trying to think of a good reason. But I had none, which meant I’d have to invent one. I’d have to come up with a lie for why I couldn’t tell him, or maybe even just why I couldn’t be with him. I hated myself the moment I opened my mouth to respond. “I can’t,” I began. “Because their goddess…she’s really a demon, and she will consume the soul of any man I fall in love with, so I can’t be with you…” I tried to continue, to tell him that he had to move on, to tell him that he needed to find someone else, but I couldn’t.

  I wasn’t looking at Eli, my head buried against his chest, so when he didn’t react I finally glanced up at his expression. He was eyeing me carefully, appearing pensive. Finally, he spoke. “And how exactly does this demon determine who you love? How does she eat another person’s soul?”

  I thought frantically for an answer, any answer. I only had one. “Sex,” I blurted out. My face immediately turned bright red, and I buried my head against his chest again, my cat ears twitching furiously, wishing I could just disappear entirely.


  I wish I could make myself invisible like him, I thought desperately.

  Eli responded quicker than I expected. I felt him shrug. “Okay, then we won’t have sex.”

  My ears perked up in surprise, but I didn’t dare look at him. Was he serious? I couldn’t imagine that he was. This had to be a joke. A really mean, stupid joke. But he didn’t say anything else. He just waited patiently for me to say something, waiting for me to look at him. But I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t meet his gaze. I couldn’t face the fear of discovering it really was a ruse. A cruel, horrible trick.

  Finally, I found my voice again. “How can you say that?” I asked in disbelief, my words muffled against his skin.

  He shrugged again. “I mean, I’ve never done it before, so it’s not like I’ll miss it. Although, from what I understand, there are plenty of other things men and woman can do with each other that are just as enjoyable.”

  I gasped, looking up at him, unable to fully believe what I was hearing. His expression was completely resolved, while I just gawked at him in response.

  When he spoke again, I realized he thought I didn’t believe him about never having had sex before, because he commented on it. “You do remember me saying I lived alone right? All my life.”

  That wasn’t why I was gawking though. I couldn’t believe he was willing to give up sex entirely, even if he had never experienced it yet. Didn’t he want to know what it was like? I knew I did, and I had been hoping I could find someone to experience it with eventually. But now that would never happen, for either of us, if he was serious.

  No.

  I couldn’t let him choose that to be with me. He didn’t deserve this.

  I nodded slowly to indicate that I believed him about being a virgin, trying to figure out a new defense. I was beginning to feel a different kind of desperation. I was desperate to convince him that he was wrong. My tone revealed my distress. “B-But I can’t give you everything that any other woman could give you! I can’t give you sex! I can’t give you children!”