A Matter of Degrees

by Alex Marcoux

  “You may have earned it, but you never would have attained it without my authorization. You would have nothing! Not the work in the kitchen when you left the palace, or your miserable dwelling, or the mystery school, and certainly not Hem Neter. Without me, you are nothing! So don’t be so self-righteous. Show some respect. If not because I’m your father…because I’m the vizier.”

  Lukeman couldn’t say a word. He felt the sweat in his clenched fists and the rage swelling within him. He closed his eyes to pray, to control his anger, but it was too hard. When he sensed he was losing to the dark energy, abruptly, he turned and disappeared into the night.

  * * *

  It was Asim who noticed that Lukeman was missing. He hadn’t seen him for over a week, so early that morning, before he was expected at the Great House, he knocked on Lukeman’s door. When there was no answer, he whacked it harder.

  The door beside Lukeman’s quarters creaked open, and a man appeared. “I don’t believe anyone is there. I have not seen anyone come or go since I arrived.”

  Asim turned to the stranger. “And how long has that been?”

  “Today is my tenth day here.” The man stepped forward and offered him his hand. “My friends call me Ja.” He smiled warmly.

  “Ja.” Asim shook his hand. “My friend, Lukeman, lives here.”

  “The Hem Neter?”

  “Yes.” Asim guessed that Ja was about his own age. There was something familiar about him, but he couldn’t place it. “You are new here?”

  “I lived here years ago. I’ve been away.”

  “Are you a servant at the palace?”

  “Yes.” Facial lines revealed remnants of a kind smile.

  “I thought so, you look familiar.” Asim peeked behind Ja. “Do you have family?”

  “I am not married, and since my return, I’ve learned that my parents passed on.”

  “I’m sorry. Would you like to dine with my family this evening?”

  The gentle smile returned. “That would be very kind.” He pointed back at Lukeman’s door. “What about the Hem Neter?”

  Asim opened the door and toured the small compartment. Lukeman was nowhere to be found. He returned to Ja in the alleyway. “He does from time to time stay at the temple for long periods,” he mumbled. “He usually tells me when he leaves, though. I will go to the temple and check on him.”

  Later that afternoon, Asim visited the temple. Because he was uninitiated, he was not allowed beyond the courtyard, but an eyebrowless priest told him that the Hem Neter had vanished.

  * * *

  Femi and Jamila had prepared a special dinner to welcome the new neighbor, but the mood was not so festive. The small group gathered around a table on the roof of Asim’s home. Though the scent of roasted fowl and fresh baked bread filled the air, they were in deep discussion.

  “Where could he be?” Femi asked, clearly concerned.

  “I do not know. It doesn’t feel right.” Asim turned to his daughter. “When did you see him last, Jamila?”

  Jamila’s eyes met her father’s. “You know I haven’t seen him in over a year. What are we going to do?”

  “Wouldn’t the pharaoh be doing all he could to find his Hem Neter?” Ja asked.

  “The pharaoh must have a search party looking for him,” Asim agreed.

  Jamila rose and moved to the roof ledge. “I hope they know where to look,” she said thoughtfully. She retrieved a pitcher of beer, topped everyone’s cup, then returned the jug to the ledge. As she set the pitcher down, she closed her eyes, and prayed. Goddess Isis, give me insight to see my Lukeman. Although she didn’t see her friend, she had a childhood memory of when Lukeman had taken her and her brothers one special day to his favorite place, an oasis north of Memphis.

  “Ja, where are you from?” Femi changed the subject, which drew Jamila back.

  “Originally, here. I’ve just returned from Thebes.”

  “That is far. Did you travel by foot?”

  “I have a camel.”

  Although the food was delicious, the conversation was less than celebratory, and the small party broke shortly after dinner. Ja graciously thanked Asim and his family for their hospitality and left. With some daylight remaining, Jamila offered to fetch water from the village well, and she went off with a bucket.

  * * *

  Ja returned to his home, delighted that he had the fortune to meet Asim. He found a comfortable corner in his reception room and sat. He closed his eyes and, with palms up, he meditated. His session was interrupted with an abrupt bang at the door, He opened the door and to his surprise, Jamila stood before him, a bucket of water by her feet.

  “Ja, excuse my forwardness, but may I borrow your camel tomorrow?”

  He was taken aback by the question. “What do you want with my camel?”

  Jamila wondered if she could trust him. “I may know where Lukeman is.”

  “And if a camel isn’t a possibility?”

  “It’s not an impossible trek by foot. It would be easier though by camel.”

  “Your father does not know that you are here, does he?”

  She connected with the man’s kind eyes. “No.”

  He hesitated. “Tomorrow is my day of rest. I will take you, myself.”

  “I cannot ask you to do that.”

  “It would not be right if I let you run off in the desert by yourself. Come here tomorrow morning after your father goes to the Great House.”

  * * *

  The sun was just peeking over the horizon—its reflection shimmering across the river—when Jamila and Ja headed out on the camel. Ja led the dromedary and Jamila rode her. They journeyed over dunes of rippled sand and near rock hills. Occasionally, they passed heaps of animal bones, reminding them of the perils of desert travel.

  For the longest time, they traveled silently, heading north along the Nile. It was Ja who finally spoke. “Where do you think the Hem Neter is?”

  “When I was younger, Lukeman took me to that mountain.” She pointed to an elevated peak that rose in the distance. “There is a beautiful oasis there. I remember a cave, a small pond, and a couple tall trees. He called it his little paradise. It’s just a feeling…but I think he’s there.”

  Although it was still early morning, the sun was scorching. She wiped her brow with the sleeve of her robe. “Let us switch now. I can walk,” she offered.

  Ja halted the camel. “If you don’t mind, I can ride her also.”

  Jamila sloped forward, so that Ja sat behind her, and they continued their trek across the desert toward the mountain.

  Unending hills of sand and time passed before Ja broke the silence. “I could not help overhearing,” it was almost whispered in her ear, “that you haven’t seen the Hem Neter in over a year. I don’t intend to pry…”

  Under most circumstances, Jamila would have ignored the remark. But there was something about Ja. He had a calming effect on her that she didn’t understand. His direct, yet unobtrusive comment worked. “When I was a child, Lukeman came to live with us for a short time. He became a member of our family. Over the years, I had fallen in love with him. I hid it for such a long time, until it hurt too much to see him. Then, about a year ago, I told him…and I explained that I couldn’t see him anymore.”

  “And your father knows?”

  “Yes. It was his idea. He doesn’t want Lukeman to be hurt.”

  “And he would be hurt because you are a servant’s daughter?”

  “Yes! He is committed to Memphis. He doesn’t need the strife.”

  The camel neared the base of the mountain, and Jamila spotted a small patch of greenery. “Look, there’s the pond over there.” Leading to the foot of a ravine where water pooled, the topography changed from sand to wild weed to scrub. Two modest-size trees bordered a tiny pond. Here, they descended the camel and brought her to the water.

  Jamila studied the area. “This is it. Let me go up the ravine and see if he’s here.”

  “You want to go up alone
?” his voice sincere with concern.

  “Yes. I will be fine. I’d like time to talk with him a bit.”

  He hesitated, and then agreed. He sat alone in the shade, beside the pond.

  Jamila hiked the ravine trail. Sections of it were familiar from her visit years earlier. The higher she climbed, the more nervous she became. What if she were wrong? She had dragged Ja into the desert on his day of rest. Worse yet, what if she found Lukeman, and he didn’t want to be discovered? As she reached the trail summit, she spotted him, and stopped. He sat against a stone outcropping, near the entrance of a cave. The ravine’s walls shaded the rocky area. He was meditating. He looked so thin.

  As Jamila approached, his eyes flew open. She stopped and he got to his feet. The couple remained awkwardly apart, staring at each other. Lukeman broke the silence. “How did you find me?”

  “Isis. Are you all right?” Jamila saw the sadness in his eyes. Guardedly, she approached. “What is wrong? Why are you here? How long have you been here?”

  “A while, I’m not sure how long.”

  “You could come to us if you’re in trouble. Don’t shut us out.”

  “I couldn’t come to you,” Lukeman lowered his eyes. “Not after what happened.”

  Jamila sat on the rocky surface. “Lukeman, please sit. Tell me what is wrong.”

  Lukeman rested beside her. “I saw my father. He told me that the only reason I became the Hem Neter was because of him.”

  “You didn’t believe him, did you?”

  “At first I didn’t. But now…the more I think about it—it makes sense.”

  Jamila could feel Lukeman’s pain. She reached for one of his hands and held it tightly. “Lukeman, you did it. Not your father, but you.”

  “It’s not that simple. It’s so difficult to get into the mystery school. It’s so exclusive. I should have known that a servant would not have been accepted.”

  “But you were not born a servant.”

  “I thought it was because Kek believed in me.” Lukeman shook his head, “He didn’t believe in me…he did it for my father.”

  “What are you doing out here?”

  “Thinking. Meditating. Uaa. Praying. Qakh. How can I be the Hem Neter when I know that my father gave it to me?”

  She squeezed his hand. “You’re the Hem Neter because you earned it. Perhaps your father helped get you into the school, but you went through the initiations. You were chosen by the pharaoh because you were most worthy.”

  “I have so much hatred inside,” Lukeman’s eyes met Jamila’s. “It scared me. I thought I was going to kill him…I needed to leave. I didn’t know where to go.”

  “You should have come to us. To me! I’m sorry if what I had said made me unapproachable. But I’m well now, Lukeman.”

  Lukeman saw Jamila’s strength. He wished he were well. He wished he had never tasted her sweet lips. He wished he could purge his visions of holding her in his arms, touching her skin, converging their bodies and souls.

  “When did you eat last?”

  Lukeman shook his head. “I don’t know.”

  “We have a camel. It will take you back to Memphis.”

  “We?”

  * * *

  Ja paced the area anxiously. He had expected Jamila back by now and wondered if he had done the right thing, allowing her to seek Lukeman on her own. Just then, Jamila and Lukeman emerged from the trail. Jamila’s arm was snuggly wrapped around Lukeman’s waist, assisting his descent. He appeared emaciated and weak.

  Ja rushed to Lukeman’s side. He helped direct Lukeman to the large boulder by the pond. As Lukeman rested, Ja introduced himself. “Hem Neter, I am Ja.”

  “Please, call me Lukeman.” He was trembling.

  “Lukeman needs food,” Jamila said. “Do—.” Before Jamila had finished the request, Ja had retrieved bread from a bag on the camel’s back and offered it to Lukeman.

  “Thank you.” Lukeman, famished, tore a piece and thrust it into his mouth, trying to satisfy the insatiable hunger. Ja passed a vessel of beer to Lukeman. He gulped of the warm beverage, but his eyes didn’t leave Ja’s face. “Ja, you look familiar, have we met?”

  Ja shook his head. “I don’t believe so.”

  “Ja worked at the palace years ago,” Jamila offered.

  Ja nodded. “I moved away close to twenty years ago. I couldn’t imagine that you would have remembered me.”

  “Whom did you work for at the palace?”

  Ja hesitated; his eyes met Lukeman’s. “For the vizier.”

  “That is my father. That is why you look familiar. I was certain I had seen you before.” He bit off another piece of bread. “I don’t remember the name Ja, though.”

  “Ja is what my friends call me. I was known in the palace as Jahi.”

  At first, Lukeman missed the significance of his name. Jahi? Lukeman stopped chewing. His face paled and he swallowed hard. “Did you say Jahi?” Lukeman stood unsteadily. He stared at Ja, sizing him up.

  “Lukeman, what is wrong?” Jamila’s arm helped steady him.

  Ja also stood, but remained calm. “Yes, Jahi.”

  Lukeman’s eyes pored over the man of almost fifty seasons. “It was you,” Lukeman whispered. “My mother was with you?” Lukeman’s head throbbed. It felt as if it was going to burst. The ache from hunger was now the furthest thing from his mind. He didn’t know what to do. This was the man that his mother had died for.

  “How did you know?” Ja asked.

  Lukeman recalled his mother’s words, “I fell in love with a servant…Jahi. He was…untouchable.” Jahi, Jahi, Jahi, echoed in his ears. “She told me.”

  “Where is she? I need to see her.”

  This even got Jamila’s attention; she stared at him with open mouth. Lukeman looked Jahi in the eye for the longest time, and then he understood. “You don’t know,” Lukeman said.

  “I don’t know what?” There was concern in Ja’s voice. “I have been away.”

  “My mother has passed on.” Lukeman recognized the shadow of pain that flashed through Ja’s eyes. “What happened to you?” Lukeman tried to keep his voice calm.

  Ja didn’t answer; he couldn’t speak.

  “Where did you go?” Lukeman’s poise was wearing.

  “She’s gone,” Ja whispered. He was shaking and retreated to the large rock that Lukeman had been sitting on. Tears brimmed his eyes. He concealed his face in his hands. “I prayed she was well,” he sobbed, “Oh, how I prayed.”

  Lukeman softened. He rested his hand on Ja’s shoulder. “Ja, what happened?”

  For a moment Ja prayed silently. Then, he told his story. “Almost twenty years ago, I was awakened in the middle of the night. A group of the pharaoh’s soldiers removed me from my home. They flogged me, tied me up, and dragged me behind a camel into the desert.

  “I was left there, to die, but a drifter found me and nursed me back to health. He brought me to Upper Egypt where I was sold into slavery and sent to Thebes. I served my master until he died, just after last Shemu. My master was a priest. With his death, I was granted my freedom and the few assets that he owned, including his camel. All these years, I had pledged to come back to Eshe.”

  Lukeman’s hand tightened on Ja’s shoulder.

  “How did she die?”

  Lukeman took a deep breath, and began his story. “About twenty years ago, my mother and father had a terrible fight. I was just a boy. I was told that she moved away. For six years I believed she had chosen another life, another family. Then, when I was sixteen, my father sent me to her…He had imprisoned her for being unfaithful to him. I had only minutes with her before she passed on.”

  Lukeman recognized the horror in Ja’s eyes. “Before she died, she told me about you. She asked me to find you and tell you—.” He wavered a moment. “When she was imprisoned she was with child. My mother said that the baby was yours. She claimed to have had a baby girl while she was in prison—.”

  “A baby?”

 
“As soon as my mother died, I confronted my father. He claimed that the baby died in childbirth. I asked around the dwellings for you. Some remembered you, but they didn’t know what happened to you.”

  * * *

  The small group returned to Memphis. Asim was overjoyed to see his friend return. With the help of Femi, Lukeman was nourished back to good health, and he returned to his duty as Hem Neter. Although Asim was disappointed that Jamila had searched for Lukeman in secret, because of the outcome he could not remain displeased.

  Strangely enough, Lukeman and Ja became friends. Their love for Eshe, and hatred for Oba, pulled them together. Being neighbors facilitated many late-night discussions. At first, they just wanted to get to know each other, and then surprisingly, their discussions evolved into philosophical deliberations. Lukeman was impressed with Ja’s quick mind and spiritual approach to life.

  Late one night, Lukeman lay on a mat of woven twine. He had finished his meditation and prayers, and closed his eyes, to rest. On the brink of sleep, he heard chanting, or kai, a form of spiritual meditation. While at the temple, he was accustomed to falling asleep while listening to priests’ chants as they elevated their subconscious to know the divinity. But here, in the dwellings of the profane, he was baffled at where the prayer was coming from.

  His eyes flew open. Abruptly he sat up. He cocked his head and struggled to pinpoint the source of the sound. He slipped on a robe and moved into the alleyway. Since he resided in the end dwelling, he walked toward the center of the units, but he quickly realized that he was heading away from the sound. He turned back and swiftly isolated the chanting coming from Ja’s quarters.

  “Ja?” he whispered to himself outside of Ja’s door. He knocked, and the chanting stopped. Moments later Ja jostled open the door.

  “Lukeman! What is wrong?”

  Lukeman brushed past his friend, into the dwelling lit only by a candle. His eyes moved to Ja’s. “You know the prayer of mekh neter! How is that possible?”

  Ja lowered his eyes. “My former master was a priest. He taught me some of the sacred beliefs.”