Ember: Next Gen (Snakes Henchmen MC Book 12)
Page 6
Now? Now I’m in a world of hurt thanks to the two people who meant the most to me. I don’t have a clue where I go from here, but I have to confront them. I won’t let them get away with what they’ve done to me.
It was made even worse when I walked through my front door ten minutes ago. I don’t usually leave work to collect something I’ve forgotten from home. However, I knew I wouldn’t have time after work to come back and pick up my spare lyric book. I’d promised to take it over to Colin and show him some of my older songs. I also wanted to tell him that I’d decided to take him and Marco up on their offer. I want to join the band. What the hell do I have to keep me here now?
I thought Lydia would be at work. I thought I’d get half an hour to myself to eat something before I headed back to work. I also thought I could work out what I’m going to do about Toby and Lydia before I leave. It would have been easy to face them head-on this evening and give them what for, but I knew facing them in anger wouldn’t be the best approach.
What I didn’t expect was to find Lydia and Toby here. They haven’t noticed me watching them making love on the couch. I don’t want to watch this, I feel like a pervert, but I’m stuck to the spot. They aren’t fucking; they’re making love as Toby has never made love to me. It’s passionate, sweet, hot, and everything I imagine making love should be.
Then I hear Toby say those words, ‘I love you so much, Lydia. You’re mine, baby, you will always be mine.’
Then she replies, ‘I love you, too. Never leave me, I’d die without you.’
His response to that is, ‘I’m not going anywhere, baby. I love you too fuckin’ much.’
My heart sinks to my feet. If I thought I was losing my mind before, I know now that I’m not. My fears have been realized. My best friend and my man are cheating on me. What more proof do I need than them having sex on the couch?
It hurts so much that I don’t know what to do with myself. It hurts because they aren’t just cheating on me; they really are in love. They fell in love behind my back and carried on with life as if nothing was happening.
How could they sleep together like I don’t even exist?
Have they even thought about me once since they started this?
When did they start this?
How long have I been the fool?
I will never forgive Lydia for this. She is no friend to me. Christ, I would never have done something like this. I wouldn’t even look at any man of hers with lust, and there’s no way I would have gone to bed with one.
All this time, I’ve felt guilty for liking Marco more than I should. I never thought about sleeping with him behind Toby’s back, however. God, I would never have done that because my parents taught me better.
As for Toby? That dickweed is nothing to me now! I hate myself for ever feeling like I did something to hurt him. The piece of shit!
I should say something. I should scream at them and hit out at them. I want them to know how much they’ve hurt me, but no matter how hurt I am, I’m not that woman. I don’t want to face them right now, no matter how pathetic that makes me sound, I just can’t. I don’t want to hear their excuses, nor how they try to justify all of this.
Right now, I hate both of them. I have never hated another person in my whole life, and I don’t actually hate them, but they’ve been fucking around behind my back, for I don’t even know how long!
When I look back, I realize that Lydia and Toby always have guilty looks on their faces whenever I ask what they’re talking about. They would laugh, but not tell me why. I’ve caught them a couple of times having secret conversations in the kitchen. I wonder if I’d walked in a moment sooner, would I have found them kissing?
I can’t be here with them anymore. I won’t be the third wheel wondering when and if they’re ever going to come clean about what they’ve been doing. I won’t keep this lie going. God, I just want to get away from them. I want to run and never come back.
But where would I go?
I can’t go to my brother because he’s busy with the tattoo shop that belongs to Snakes Henchmen. Snake Skin Ink. Eagle works there with some of the other younger members of the club. I love my brother more than anything, but I know he’d find Toby and kill him for hurting me. As much as I hate Lydia right now, there’s still a part of me that wants to protect her.
My mom is out with her sister’s today, so I’m going to see my daddy. I can’t tell him what’s been going on, he’d never understand, and he’d kill Toby just as my brother would. Then Lydia’s father would find out, and it would be bedlam.
I don’t believe Lydia and Toby set out to hurt me; no one can help whom they fall in love with. But this hurts so badly that I can hardly breathe.
I need my father right now. I’ve always been able to count on my dad for anything. He’s always there when I need him, and right now, I do.
I walk into Snakes Henchmen clubhouse and smile at the guys milling around the place. I was born into this life. My great-great-grandfather started this club so many years ago. My great grandfather was president after him, then my grandfather, then my uncle, and it will continue to pass down through the father for many years to come. My daddy is VP, he might be in his early fifties now, but he’s still as strong as ever. Crossing him is like signing your own death warrant. Stupid.
“Hey, baby girl. What you doin’ here?”
“Hi, Bomer, is my dad around?”
Bomer is a nice guy, in his thirties, smart, and as dangerous as the rest of them. But he’s good to women and kids, and that’s all that matters to these men. He kind of has a thing for me, but he’d never admit it, my dad would strangle him. Besides, I don’t look at Bomer in that way. I only know he has a thing for me because I can read it all over his face when he looks at me. His father was once part of this club, but Saxon died a few years ago of a heart attack.
“Sure thing. He’s in the office.”
I thank Bomer and make my way to the office. I knock the door once, and my dad yells for me to enter. I open the door and instantly smile. My daddy is standing in front of me with his big arms folded around his big chest, smiling wide at me.
I close the door, and emotion instantly overwhelms me. My dad notices right away, and his face drops. “Baby girl, what’s wrong? Why are you cryin’?”
“Oh, Daddy!” I wail and throw myself in his arms. I’m safe in my daddy’s arms. The only man in the world, I truly trust is my father because he’s the only man who would never let me down. This man gave my brother and me a wonderful childhood. Yes, we were born into a motorcycle club, and their way of life is not the kind of life most would want for their child. Teaching their children to fight, to shoot a gun, to kill if you have to by the age of ten is not what any parent wants.
But you see, all the shit this club went through before I was born, all the women they lost through vengeance, no one wanted to risk losing anyone else. It was my mom’s idea for the club to train the women and children to take care of themselves. My grandfather, Shepard, wasn’t too keen at first. However, when my uncle Hammer and his brother, Lydia’s father, Don Vidal, told Shepard, that it wasn’t such a bad idea, he caved. Shepard was President of Snakes Henchmen MC at the time, and he wanted the woman and kids safe.
Shepard was, and still is, a good man. Snakes Henchmen is the club it is today thanks to my grandfather.
All of the women and children were trained by my mother to fight. She taught us all how to be strong, how to take down a man three times our size. Yes, she taught us to injure, to maim, even to kill if we had to, but only if we had to. If there was no other choice and our lives were in real danger, then we were to kill.
Us kids have trained since we were small, but the truth is, not one of us has ever killed anyone. We’ve never had to; the adults always protected us. We’ve been in a fair few fights, but nothing to write home about, usual kids stuff.
Just because we’ve never had to defend ourselves against real attackers doesn’t mean we might not one da
y have to. I love my mother, and I’m proud of her for teaching us all how to protect ourselves. Nova Marshall is a powerful woman – one who knows how to take down attackers. She can fight like a man four times her size, she’s even been in the boxing ring with men a lot bigger than herself, and we’ve watched her take them down like they were nothing to her.
My mother is everything to me. I have always looked up to her. She’s my inspiration, and I’m strong because of her. However, it’s my father from whom I get my patience, believe me, my mother has none. Dad taught me never to go off in anger and ruin people’s lives because anger can lead to terrible things. Not everything is always as it seems, and regret is a motherfucker of an emotion to hold onto.
Sounds crazy for a biker when ninety-nine percent of them are hotheaded, attack before thinking, not caring for the fallout of their actions. My daddy has never been like that, not to my knowledge. Yes, he’s dangerous when pushed, he’ll do whatever he has to do to protect his family, the people of this huge MC, but he’s a good man. He’s my hero, and always will be.
“Daddy, everything is so messed up.”
He strokes my hair, calming me the way he used to when I was a little girl. My dad is my best friend, and he has always been supportive of everything I’ve done in my life, school, my music, my singing, friendships, everything. I’ve always been able to come to him when I’ve needed him.
Tank Marshall was the kind of father who went to every school production, not caring who stared at him for the way he dressed or the bike he rode. He drove me to school dances, music competitions, and he would be the dad standing and cheering the loudest when I won trophies. Dad did the same for Eagle because he loved us both the same.
Most would be embarrassed by this, but I was anything but because Dad made my brother and me so happy. Our dad cared about us, and he didn’t care if he looked stupid, because all that mattered to Tank was his son and his daughter’s happiness. Not every child is as lucky as we are. Both Eagle and I are proud to be Tank’s children, and we’d do anything to make him proud of us.
But right now, I feel like a complete failure.
“Tell me what’s going on, Ember.”
“I’m so tired of everything, Dad. I need to get away from here. I feel like I’m drowning.”
He pulls me at arm’s length, eyes scanning me wildly. God, I want to tell him everything, the way I always do. But how can I tell him that my best friend, his big brother’s niece, has been sleeping with my boyfriend? He’d go crazy, and then he’d tell my uncle Hammer, and between them, they’d kill Toby.
“Has someone hurt you? Toby?”
Yes!
“No, Daddy, I just want to get-away. I want to do something with my life. Something more than right now. I’m going to take Colin up on his offer.”
“What offer exactly?”
“To join his band. I don’t have to sing or show my face in public if Jett says otherwise. I would never risk the world finding out about the club.” Dad tucks my hair behind my ear and smiles at me.
I look at him for a second and smile back. “But I think it will do me good to get away for a while. The band wants to record my songs, Dad. I’ll be able to get some of my music out there. I’ll be away for three months, but I want to do this, Dad.”
“What about Toby? Is he going with you?”
I shake my head. “We broke up.”
Dad narrows his eyes as little. “I thought you were in love? Love doesn’t just fade out like that, Ember.”
I nod my head and swallow hard. “Toby isn’t the one, Dad. I wanted him to be, but we’ve drifted apart these past few weeks. Toby and I want different things out of life. I don’t want to sound selfish,” Ironic, right? I’m the least selfish person there is, yet I’m here making out like Toby and I breaking up is on me. “But I want to tour with Colin’s band, and I want to write songs for them. I need space to find myself, Dad. I have to follow my dreams, right?”
Dad pulls me into his arms and kisses my head. “So the theory goes, baby girl. I can’t stop you from going, you’re a grown woman, but only go if it’s the right thing, Ember. Don’t just go because you’re hurting over something.”
“It’s the right thing, Dad. Please support me on this.”
“Princess, I will always support you no matter what you do.”
“I know because I am the luckiest girl in the world to have a dad like you.”
He smiles and holds me close to him. “Are you sure touring with them and being out of the limelight is going to be enough?”
I pull away from Dad and look at him. “How do you mean?”
“Ember,” He laughs loudly. “Darlin’, you know exactly what I mean. When you’re out there, and you see how amazing it all is, can you honestly tell me that you won’t long to join them?”
I swallow hard and shake my head honestly. “I know that I will, but I can handle it, Dad. I’ll be honest with you; Colin wants me to join and be an official member. I’ve been thinking it over long and hard, and joining would be out of this world. But I can’t do that,”
My dad takes my shoulders in his hands. “What’s really stopping you from joining…?”
I laugh. “Dun’s Dungeon,”
“Dun’s Dungeon,” He nods. “Is it just the idea that too much information could be leaked about the club?” This time, I nod my head. “Baby girl, nothing we don’t want to get out will. You can’t put your dreams on hold for the club. None of us want to hold you back from what you really want.”
I look at my father, and I wonder how I got so lucky. “There’s just one problem.”
“What’s that?”
I swallow hard. “I’d have to leave in the morning after tomorrow.”
Dad’s eyes widen for a second. I watch him, watching me, and he suddenly smiles. He cups my cheek in his big hand, and I lean into his fatherly touch for a moment. “Go out there and live your life, Ember. Your family will be right here waiting for you, because we love you, and nothing will ever change that.”
A tear slips from my eye. I’m not sad; I’m happy. “Thank you, Daddy.” I walk into his open arms and smile to myself. Maybe I can do this, be part of Dun’s Dungeon, and keep my family’s secret. I guess only time will tell.
As my dad makes me promise to call him every day, to see my mom before I go, and to let Eagle know that I’ll be okay, I know that I can do this.
Chapter Eight
Ember
I called Colin the second I left the clubhouse. He couldn’t hide his excitement at having me agree to join the band. I laughed when Marco, Bob, and Saint hollered their enthusiasm. They made me feel special for a moment there. I don’t know about being special, but I do know that this is what I need. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy for me; I’ve never been away from my family before. But I’m a big girl now, and I’m going to enjoy the ride while I can.
Colin told me that he’d send a car to pick me up Thursday morning. I can’t stay at home until then, not with Lydia. I’m staying in a hotel until I leave, not that I’ll be telling anyone. If I did, that would bring about too many questions that I’m not ready to answer just yet.
Before I leave, I need to see my mother and brother. Everyone else in my life, I’ll send a group text to let them know where I’ll be going and when I’ll be back.
I have enough time to pack everything I need before Lydia gets home and before Toby arrives. I don’t need much. Most of it can be stored until I return. I know my dad will collect it all and put it in his garage. A suitcase of my clothes and essentials will be plenty for now.
I’m packed and showered before anyone arrives home. I groan inwardly when I hear my bedroom door open. I don’t know how I’m supposed to get out of here without a fight. I know I should confront the two of them, but right now, I just want to get out of here. My mind is all over the place, and my heart is shattered.
“Hey, chica. Whatcha doin’?” Lydia flops down on my bed, dramatically.
My g
ut clenches with sudden rage. All I want to do is rip her hair out and smash her face in!
Does she honestly have no clue what she’s done to me?
Does she even care?
How the hell can she act as if nothing has happened?
We’re supposed to be best friends. What kind of person sleeps with and steals their best friend’s boyfriend?
Of all the people in the world to have done this, I would never have believed Lydia could be the one. She will never know how much she’s hurt me, and I doubt I’ll ever forgive her for this.
I will always love her because I don’t know how not to, but she’s ruined our friendship. Nothing between us will ever be the same again. I just hope Toby was worth losing her best friend for.
Everything has changed, and nothing feels right anymore. I’m not vindictive, even though I would have every right to be right now. I’ll tell our families whatever Lydia wants me to tell them so that she can be with Toby without anyone punishing him. But that is the last thing I will ever do for Lydia. When I leave this house, I’ll do my damndest to pretend the traitorous bitch doesn’t exist!
“Nothing. I’m going away for a while. I’m going on tour with Colin’s band.”
“Wait,” Lydia sits bolt upright. I roll my eyes to myself and continue brushing my hair. “You’re leaving?”
“For a short while, Lid. I’m sure you and Toby will cope just fine without me.”
She huffs. “Have you even told Toby that you’re going?”
“Nope,” I drop my hairbrush in my bag and zip it up. I’m ready to leave. “I’m sure you can tell him for me.”
“Don’t you think it should come from you?”
I shake my head and drag my bag out of the room and down the hallway.
“Big suitcase just for a couple weeks away, Em,”
“Yup,”
“You can’t just leave without telling your boyfriend.”
My face is burning. I cannot just leave, can’t I? My boyfriend? Stupid bitch! She’s not going to let me get out of this house without a fight. Fine.