by Kaylee Ryan
“Sure, we can do that.”
“How about I drive?” He doesn’t wait for an answer as he opens the back door to my Pathfinder and buckles Finley into her seat. I reach in and start the car and move around to the passenger side, climbing in. As if he’s done it a million times, he slides behind the wheel, adjusts the seat, reaches for my hand, and rests it on his thigh before pulling out of the parking lot.
“So, where are we going anyway?”
“I want to get a seat for my truck.”
“Why do you need my help with a truck seat?”
“Not for my truck, for Finley for my truck. That way, we don’t always have to take your car. I can take you ladies out on a date with me driving.”
“Seth, you don’t have to do that.” I’m quick to shut him down.
“I know I don’t have to. I want to. Just humor me, will you?”
I don’t say anything else as he drives us to the nearest Walmart. I’m trying to wrap my head around how my life has changed so quickly. I went to depending on no one, to wanting more than anything to depend on Seth. I want more than anything to embrace him and this new life filled with anything but loneliness he’s offering. Even more so, I didn’t really understand how lonely I was until moving here. I love my daughter, but having someone to lean on isn’t what I’m used to. No one other than Amelia has ever been in that role for me.
Seth parks the Pathfinder and pulls the keys from the ignition, handing them to me. He hops out and has Finley unbuckled from her seat before I can offer to do it myself. He meets me in front of the car and, once again, laces his fingers with mine as we make our way into the store.
“You want to ride in the cart?” he asks Finley.
“Cart.”
“Cart it is.” He chuckles and sets her in the front. “Okay. So, first we get a seat for you for my truck, and then we hit up the toy aisle.”
“My want toy.”
“Let’s get the seat first.” He begins to push the cart to the back of the store, where the baby section is. I know because I made a visit to this very store early Sunday morning for supplies for the new place. “You need anything else while we’re here?” he asks.
“Sef, toy,” Finley says.
“I know, sweetheart. We have to get your new car seat first. You can help me and Mommy pick it out.”
“’Kay.” Just like that, she agrees to whatever he says. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not a bad kid. In fact, she’s very well behaved, but at this age, she tends to be opinionated and wants things how she wants them. However, she doesn’t appear to be that way when it comes to Seth.
“All right, tell me which one.”
We’re standing in front of a long line of car seats. “This is the one that I have.” I point to the third seat on the left.
“Perfect. What do you think, Finny? Should we get a seat like the one in Mommy’s car?”
“Dat one.” She points to the same seat I did.
“Looks like it’s unanimous.” Seth pulls the box from the bottom shelf and places it in the cart. Even though he’s bundled up in his coat, I can imagine his muscles flexing underneath. Everything seems so effortless for him. His question pulls me away from ogling him.
“Now, Momma, you sure you don’t need anything?”
“Actually, yes. I need some fabric softener. I forgot it when I was here yesterday.”
“Okay, well, you go get what you need. Finley and I are headed to the toys.”
“Toy, Mommy.” Finley grins.
“Don’t spoil her.” I point at him.
“Sure thing,” he says, grinning, and I know damn good and well he’s not going to listen. “We’ll be in the toys.” He pushes the cart in the opposite direction of where I need to go. My chest tightens, watching him leave with her, but I trust him. Regardless, I haul ass to grab what I need and head straight back to the toys. We’ve been separated maybe five minutes at the most by the time I reach them. Finley has two stuffed animals and a baby doll in her arms.
“Seth.” His name comes out as a sigh.
He throws his head back and laughs. “She can’t decide.” He defends his actions with a small shrug.
“One.” I hold up one finger. “Finley, you can have one.”
“I wuv dem,” she says, trying to squeeze them all to her chest.
“You choose one.” I look up at Seth. “You can’t spoil her like this. I can’t do this every time I come to the store, and I don’t want her to expect it.”
“I’m sorry.” I can see it in his eyes that he gets what I’m trying to tell him without saying the words. I can’t afford to spoil her like this. Not to mention, I don’t know that I would if I could. I want her to grow up understanding not everything is just handed to you in life. I want her to earn it, appreciate it.
“Okay, sweetheart. You have to pick just one.”
“Mine,” Finley says, pouting.
I can see Seth wavering, but he surprises me when he stands his ground. “Pick your favorite.” He takes them from her and she whines but doesn’t throw a fit. “Let’s pick.” He holds all three of them to his chest. “You can only have one, so which one will it be?”
Finley furrows her brow as her eyes move to the stuffed animals and the small baby doll, then back to Seth. “Dat one,” she says, pointing to the teddy bear that’s light brown with a pink nose.
“Excellent choice.” Seth hands her the bear and places the other two back on the shelf. “Did you get what you needed?” he asks me.
“Yeah.” I hold up the small bottle of fabric softener, and he takes it from me, placing it in the cart. He pushes the cart, talking to Finley about her new bear all the way to the front of the store and through the checkout line. He pays for everything, including my fabric softener, even though I told him not to. He didn’t listen, but I’ve decided I need to pick my battles. I know he’s doing it to be nice, and I appreciate the gesture. What’s a small bottle of fabric softener in the grand scheme of things? Is it worth starting an argument? Not to me.
Seth wheels the cart out of the store and pushes Finley fast through the lot. Her laughter echoes, making me smile.
“I’ll get her,” I tell Seth. He nods and gets to work loading the car seat and the fabric softener in the back. He slips in behind the wheel and turns to hand Finley her bear.
“Here you go, sweetheart.”
“Ank you, Sef.”
“That right there could thaw any cold heart,” he says before turning back around.
I don’t say anything as he drives us home. Finley yammers in the back to her new friend, while I work on getting my heart to stop stuttering in my chest. Is this what all the authors mean when they say swooning? It has to be. This is not a feeling I’ve ever experienced, but one I could quickly grow accustomed to.
“Two stories, but she’s finally out,” I say, taking a seat on the couch next to Seth. He’s got his shoes off and his feet propped up on the coffee table. He looks relaxed, like he belongs here.
“You don’t have to apologize. Finley is your priority, I get that. Speaking of Finley. I’m sorry about the store. She’s hard to say no to. I shouldn’t have overstepped.”
“You didn’t. I just don’t want her to think everything she wants is going to be handed to her. Special occasions or situations are fine, but I want her to learn the value of money and gifts. You know, things like that,” I say, to stop my rambling.
“What else needs to be done tonight?” he asks.
“What do you mean?”
“Laundry, packing bags for tomorrow—what?”
“Oh. No, I packed her bag before you got here, and laundry is never-ending with a toddler.”
“So I get some Mara time?” he asks hopefully.
“Depends. What exactly is Mara time?” I can’t help but laugh.
“Just time with you. Come here.” He lifts his arm and I slide in a little closer, resting my head on his chest. “This is Mara time.”
“Hmm, Seth time soun
ds better.”
“How about us time?” he counters with a low chuckle.
“Us time sounds perfect,” I say, covering a yawn. He flips the channel to some movie I’ve never seen and begins to softly trace circles on my back. It’s not long before I feel sleep pulling me under. I’m too tired to even try to resist as I drift off.
Sometime later, I wake to the evening news. It takes me a minute to get my bearings and realize I’m in the living room, lying on top of Seth, where we’re both stretched out on the couch. I move to get up but his arms tighten around me. “Stay.”
I don’t fight him; instead, I snuggle into him, resting my head back on his chest, right over his heart.
“I know I need to go, but I don’t want to,” he whispers.
“I don’t want you to go either, but—” I stop, letting my reasoning hang between us.
“I know, babe,” he assures me. “I know you don’t want her to wake up and see me. And this is new, you and me, well, not really, but the being together in person part is new. Not the way I’m feeling about you.”
I lift my head to look at him, resting my chin on his chest. “I feel it too,” I confess.
“Good.” He tucks my hair behind my ear. “I’m going to go, but can I kiss you first? I really want to kiss you,” he whispers, his eyes following the movement of my tongue as I wet my lips.
“I’d be mad if you didn’t.” I lift up and meet him as his lips press to mine. The kiss starts off slow, just the pressure of his lips on mine. Once, twice, three times, he kisses me before his tongue peeks out and traces my bottom lip.
“So sweet,” he murmurs, kissing me again. This time, his hand finds its way to the back of my neck as he holds me close. I open for him, and he wastes no time sliding his tongue past my lips to caress mine.
Needing more, I move to straddle him, never breaking our kiss. My hips rock against his, and his body reacts to me. Somehow, he manages to sit up and rest his back against the couch. My hands go to his shoulders as I grind against him.
“Fuck,” he murmurs, letting his head fall back against the couch. I freeze, and his hands land on my hips. “Don’t stop, baby. Take what you need.”
Embarrassed, I bury my face in his neck. I don’t know what’s come over me. I feel his arms wrap around me as he holds me close.
“Mara.”
Knowing I have to face the music, I lift my head, grateful that the room is dark with nothing but the glow of the TV. “I’m sorry,” I say sheepishly.
“I’m not. I never want you to be shy about asking or taking what you need from me. No matter what it is.”
“That’s not me. I don’t know what’s come over me.”
“That might not be you, but that’s us.” His hands move to my hips and he guides me to move up and back, up and back. “Take what you need. There are no pretenses, no worry about what you’ll have to give in return. Not with me.” His hands move from my hips to cradle my cheeks in the palms of his hands. “I want to give you everything.” His lips connect with mine in a kiss so sensual, it sends electric currents throughout my body. I rock my hips and he pulls away. “Take what you need. I wanna see you come, Mara.” His softly whispered confession does nothing to limit my desire, this hot inferno building inside me. My hands brace on his shoulders once more. His hands land back on my hips, and together, we chase the high that is just within my reach. His eyes, dark brown pools of desire, never leave mine. I close my eyes, his stare too intense. “Open for me, Mara. I want to see you when you lose control.”
“I can’t.” I keep my eyes closed and lower my head. Just… feeling.
“It’s just me, baby, and I’m here for you. Take what you need, but let me see. Let me watch you. Give me those big green eyes.” He lifts his hips and his hard length hits my clit. Slowly, I lift my head and stare into his eyes. “There she is. Now show me.”
The sensation is too intense, the friction feels too good, so I do as he asks. I grind against him, seeking release, something I’ve been missing in my life since the night I last slept with Finley’s father. Since the night my daughter was conceived. Sure, I take matters into my own hands, but there is nothing that compares to strong hands roaming your body, or Seth’s deep voice telling me to let go.
“S-Seth,” I pant.
“I’m right here, gorgeous. I’m right here.” His grip on my hips tightens as he guides me to my release.
“Oh my….” I bite down on my bottom lip to keep from screaming out his name, mindful that my daughter is sleeping just down the hall. Once the final tremor leaves my body, I slump against him. Spent, sated, and too damn blissed out to feel embarrassed.
Seth holds me against him. I can feel how hard he is, but he never once takes it any further. That alone makes me want to. I pull away, stand, and try to drop to my knees, but he stops me.
“Not tonight. Let’s get you tucked into bed.”
“That’s got to hurt,” I say, looking at the bulge in his jeans.
“Don’t worry about me. I got exactly what I wanted. I wanted to spend time with you and your daughter, and I wanted to see you come. I got both.”
“Seth—” He stops me with a kiss.
“No. We have time for more another time. This isn’t one and done, Mara. There’s no rush. Come on.” He walks me to the door. “I wanted to tuck you in, but damn it, I know if I see you in your bed, I’ll never be able to leave. So I’m going to say goodnight here. Lock up behind me and I’ll see you at work in the morning.”
“Thank you for dinner.”
“My pleasure. Get some rest.”
“Be safe. Will you text me when you get home? So I know you made it okay.”
“I don’t want to wake you.”
“I’ll be up until I hear from you.”
“Okay. Lock up behind me. Give Finley a hug from me in the morning.”
“Night, Seth.”
He leans in and kisses me. “Night, baby.”
He opens the door and quietly slips outside. I turn the lock and hear his footsteps pound down the front steps. I’m sure his truck is freezing cold, but I’m afraid if he was here any longer, I might force him to stay. Turning off the TV, I make my way to my room and decide I need a shower to clean up. I rinse off quickly, knowing I’ll take another in the morning since I’m going to bed with wet hair, and change into some pajamas. Picking up my phone, I see that I have a missed call.
Amelia.
I quickly send her a message.
* * *
Me: Sorry. I fell asleep.
* * *
With Seth. Of course, I leave that part out, even though it’s the most interesting. I know my friend and she’s going to want all the details, and I’m still processing them myself.
* * *
Amelia: I figured. How was your first day?
* * *
Me: Great. It’s a lot to learn about the business, but I’m feeling good about it.
* * *
Amelia: I knew you would. Get some sleep. We’ll catch up tomorrow.
* * *
Me: Night.
* * *
Amelia is working at temporary jobs for an agency. I’m not sure why. She’s got the education and the skill to do so much more. I feel like I’m missing something important with her. Maybe it’s just the time we spent apart, but my gut tells me that it’s more. I’ll have to plan dinner or something so she and I can catch up, and I can try to figure out what’s going on with my dearest friend.
I’m lying in bed staring at the shadows on the ceiling, thinking about tonight, thinking about Seth, when my phone vibrates in my hand.
* * *
Seth: Made it home.
* * *
Me: Good. Night, Seth.
* * *
Seth: Night.
* * *
Plugging my phone in to charge, I drift off to sleep with thoughts of Seth and this new life I’m living on my mind. I’m excited for once to see what’s yet to come.
Chapter Seven
Seth 7
* * *
It’s Saturday night and I’m sitting on the floor of Finley’s room watching her dance around in circles. We spent the day painting it a light and dark teal. I thought Mara was crazy when she told me, but I have to admit, it turned out great.
“You like it?” I ask, laughing as she spins so fast she gets dizzy and crashes into a pile of pillows in the middle of the floor.
“I wuv it.” She crawls over to me and into my lap. “Ank you.” She wraps her little arms around my neck in a hug. I hug her back, my heart splitting wide open for this little girl.
“All right, miss thang, it’s time for you to go to bed.”
“No.” She clings to me.
“Hey, remember I have a surprise for you tomorrow.”
Her little head lifts from where she had it buried in my chest. “You have to go to sleep so you can wake up and I can take you to your surprise.”
She shakes her head. “No.”
“Come on, Mommy will read you a story.” Mara tries to coax her.
“Sef,” she says defiantly, holding onto me.
My eyes find Mara, and she sighs. I raise my eyebrows in silent question, and she nods, giving me her permission. “Okay, but one story, and then you have to promise to have sweet dreams.” In a flash, she’s off my lap and rushing to the small bookshelf that’s sitting away from the wall allowing the paint to dry. She grabs a book and brings it to me. I lie down on the floor, resting my head on the pillows and she lies down next to me. “Five-Minute Princess Stories,” I read the title of the book. I glance at Mara to see that she’s no longer there. “Okay, one story, you ready?” I ask Finley. She nods her little head and yawns. If I was a betting man, I would guess she won’t last through one full story. She’s played hard today and only slept for a little while. According to Mara, she usually takes at least a two-hour nap, so I’m sure she’s ready to crash.
