Lawson and Lee were heaters curled into me. I normally found comfort in that, but we were in Ipswich with more space all around us than I knew what to do with. It left me restless, I wanted to do more.
I didn’t want this to end.
In the morning, we’d need to get up, get ready, and drive back into Boston, go back to reality. I didn’t want that. I wasn’t ready. And I hated that I felt like that. So my mind refused to let me go to sleep because then that meant morning time came all the sooner, and this little trip would be over.
It was the opposite of what Christmas night was like.
Lawson mumbled something and turned in his sleep, his feet finding its way between my ribs and the bed. I winced before carefully extracting myself, making sure the two of them curled into each other. Their soft breathing remained unchanged as they settled into their new positions.
I smiled, grabbed my sweater, and slipped out of the room, remaining on light feet. At this point, it was late into the night. Everyone in the house had already turned in for the night about an hour ago. I envied them their peacefulness and dreams. Hopefully, they were happy ones.
Wanting the comfort of fresh air, I threw on my sweater and popped outside onto the patio. A dim light flashed on, night bright enough to be blinding, but bright enough so I didn’t trip over myself.
“Wow,” I whispered, looking up at the clear sky. Stars, all over. There were few wispy clouds lit up by the moonlight. The moon was only half full, so it didn’t light everything too brightly. It was still really nice to look at.
I glanced around the patio until I spotted what almost looked like a duffel bag. A free-standing hammock. Grinning, I grabbed it and dragged it out onto the yard, quickly setting it up. I had seen it yesterday and almost forgot all about it. But now that there was nothing to do, I was really going to enjoy it. I always wanted to be in one.
Setting it up was easy. It pretty much did all the work after I pulled it out of the bag. The legs opened up and clicked into place, and I put it in the middle of the yard, with the perfect view of the sky.
The hammock was sturdier than I expected. I thought it was going to flip over on me as I tried to climb inside. It held steady as I settled in and got on my back.
My eyes widened at the perfect view. I was right, this was the best spot in the yard. The hammock rocked gently, calming my very existence into a state of complete melancholy.
It didn’t take me long to realize I should have stolen a swing blanket and pillow. The coldness was nippier than I expected.
“Here.”
I jumped, nearly screaming and diving off the hammock. The shadows cleared enough for me to make out the familiar features of Koen.
“Darn it,” I snapped out. “What are you doing out here? You scared me.”
“Sorry.” His sorry wasn’t sorry at all.
He held a bundle out to me. “Here. If you insist on lying outside in the cold, at least be warm.”
I dumbly grabbed what he held and realized it was a pillow.
“Oh, nice.” I plopped it behind my head and snuggled into its warmth. Oh yeah, that was really nice.
“Scoot over.”
“What?” I asked.
“Move over.”
“No thanks,” I said.
“Then I guess you don’t get the blanket,” he said with humor.
I narrowed my eyes, wishing I could see his expression. It wasn’t too bright out there, the porch’s dim light not reaching this far. All I could see was a shadowed version of him and even that shadowed version was attractive.
“Fine.” I huffed. I moved over and Koen expertly climbed inside.
Screw the blanket, Koen was so much warmer. I pretended there wasn’t as much room as there really was and moved closer to him, trying to soak his warmth up. I didn’t think he’d mind too much if I stole it all from him.
He didn’t mind as he stretched the blanket over us, creating an extra barrier from the coldness. Then, without saying anything and taking me by surprise, he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me halfway onto his chest.
“Oomph,” I said, face meeting his chest.
“You’re crazy, you know that,” he said.
“I’m certifiably sane. I had myself checked out.”
Koen’s chest shook as he held in his laughter. We settled into each other, and I was toasty outside, pressed against Koen, with a blanket over us. The hammock rocked, lulling me into a half-asleep state where the world was completely peaceful, nothing bad able to touch me.
“Why aren’t you sleeping in a bed?” Koen asked, drawing me out of my peace.
“Because I don’t want the day to end,” I admitted. “Tomorrow, we get up, pack up, and head back to our lives. I didn’t expect it to be so nice here, without the hustle and bustle of life.”
“I know what you mean,” Koen said. “Bryce and Dayton have always lived in small towns. I lived in Boston most of my life. It’s a small city, but it’s still busy enough constantly. Whenever I got the chance, I always came out here to help them out. The Killison family is like my second family.”
“Is it always this hard to leave?”
“Sometimes. It’s like living in a bubble out here. The three of us used to get into a lot of trouble in the orchard. I can’t count how many times they had to send search parties out to find us.”
I faked a gasp. “You mean to tell me you were a troublemaker as a child? I don’t believe that.”
“Yeah, well, granted, it was mainly Dayton getting us into trouble. He got me stuck up in an apple tree once. I climbed up first using a ladder, and before they had a chance to follow, the ladder fell. They had trouble setting it up right again. We were a little too small and not quite strong enough to lift it up.” He laughed. “The look on my parents’ faces when they saw me was priceless. Dad didn’t know whether to laugh or get angry with me. He climbed up and got me down.”
“Tell me more stories,” I said.
“How about you?” he asked. “I want to know what you were like when you were little. Before your mom got sick.”
“Aw, you don’t want to hear those boring stories.”
“I do though.”
“They aren’t that exciting.”
“And for some reason, I don’t believe you.”
I giggled. “I lived in New York City until I was an adult. It was always just Mom and me before she passed. She didn’t have any family, at least no one she told me about. I’d prefer to believe she didn’t have any rather than thinking that they just weren’t part of our life. We grew up in this small apartment, the walls too thin, too many people around us who weren’t on the up and up. They weren’t mean or dangerous. They were people struggling like we were. For a while, Mom had two jobs going until she got sick. I think that’s why she got so sick like that. She couldn’t afford to stop working, and I was too small to help. But there were these rare moments of days off, and those were the best days. Better than Disneyland.” I grinned, getting lost in the memories. “Mom always made a day of it. We’d spend the day out, trying to find all the nooks and crannies of the city. Ice cream was a must. And the parks. So many different kinds of parks. Some fun, others not so much. My favorite memory, we went to this one park that was attached to a skatepark. Mom talked a kid into letting her try to skateboard. She was that kind of person, always in love with doing new things.” I laughed. “She sucked. She really sucked. She couldn’t even move it inches without falling off. Once she thought she got it, she went to a baby ramp and wiped right out. I’m pretty sure it made it onto one of those America’s Funniest Home Videos shows.”
That got a chuckle from Koen. I grinned and cuddled into him further, his arm tightening around me.
“She wouldn’t let me try though. So when she got distracted talking with a parent, I swiped a board and went for it before anyone could stop me. Unfortunately, silly me thought gravity was important and went for the biggest ramp, thinking it’d help me fly. I went for it. I can still
hear her screaming for me as people ran to stop me. They were all too late.”
“Jesus, what happened?”
I shrugged. “I don’t remember.”
“You don’t remember?”
I shook my head. “Woke up with my mom carrying me back to my apartment. There was a bump on my head and my arm really hurt. I didn’t break any bones, but I definitely felt the soreness for the next few days. Still don’t remember.”
“Damn, Maddie. And she didn’t bring you to the hospital?”
Shrugging, I said, “We were lower class. Lucky if we can even make rent each month. A hospital wasn’t really an option.”
Koen was shocked into complete silence. His grip around me tightened.
I giggled. “It was still the best day. I remember her carrying me. She had tears streaking down her face, and she kept kissing my face, telling me everything would be okay. I never felt so much love until that day. That was when I knew that she really did love me. Times were tough and we survived, and it put a strain on our relationship. But I knew she loved me. That moment proved it.”
My story prompted another story from him about him and his dad going fishing and how they tipped the canoe over. Or the time they went hiking and got terribly lost. We traded stories back and forth, laughing at the silly us growing up. Koen got into one about a dare he’d lost and Dayton and Bryce making him streak around the neighborhood. Eventually police were involved. As he told it, his soft voice lulled me into a feeling of security and all the exhaustion finally caught up with me.
“I’m just going to close my eyes for a moment,” I whispered.
“Of course,” Koen replied.
I mumbled something else, but my eyes, my brain, my thoughts all refused to work in sync with each other, and I fell asleep.
In Koen’s arms.
In a hammock.
Chapter Fifteen
Something poked at my cheek. I moaned and swatted it away, hoping a bug found its demise. That ended up not being the case, and my face was poked again. There was a soft giggle, and I realized the twins had found me.
“No.” I moaned and turned into something hard. The hands resting peacefully around me tightened. Memories came quickly after that of taking snuggles from Koen as I tried to steal his body heat, of stories and laughter. Of an amazingly sweet night.
I smiled into his chest, not caring that I was there. I was too comfortable, and I wanted the wonderfulness of last night to bleed into the morning.
“We should tip them over,” Dayton said. There was an edge to his voice that caught my attention, instead of the humor I would have expected. For some reason, guilt washed over me, and I stiffened, too afraid to open my eyes to see what was going on.
Could a hammock swallow a person? No, of course not. That’d be way too convenient.
“I’m with you there,” Bryce said with the same edge. “Maybe we should.”
I squeezed my eyes tighter, knowing I was going to have to face them. It was obvious we didn’t do anything last night, but it didn’t stop me from feeling bad for snuggling another man when I knew his two best friends liked me.
“Stop being idiots,” Koen said. He softened his voice before talking to me. “Maddie, time to wake up.”
His breath was warm against my cheek, and I shivered at the intimacy. Suddenly, I became all too aware of the position we were in. I was fully on top of Koen, straddling him with my legs, our most intimate spots awfully close to each other. I had my face pressed into his chest, and I could feel the rise and fall of his even breaths.
It was weirdly comfortable, and yet so very dangerous too.
I whispered, hoping the others wouldn’t overhear me. “If I get up, will the ground swallow me up.”
Koen’s hand had been rubbing my back, but I didn’t realize it until he stopped. “Do you want it to do that?”
I nodded. Being swallowed by the ground sounded very nice right then.
“This was not where we expected to find the two of you,” Dayton said. He sounded so angry. Oh God. What did he think of me like this? What did Bryce think of me? “Everyone was worried because the twins came down looking for you, Maddie. Why did you sleep out here? And with Koen?”
I flinched at the sting from the bite of his words. Carefully, I moved to get off the hammock, still refusing to meet anyone’s eyes. Hands found my waist and steadied me as my feet found the ground.
“I don’t understand,” Dayton said. “You’ve been going on about friendship. About not wanting more. So why?”
I finally looked at my audience, needing to brave what was going on. Dayton’s voice was laced with so much anger, and Bryce’s was too. I wanted to groan. The twins were standing next to Dayton and Bryce, looking confused and a bit scared, their eyes flickering at all the grownups around them. Lina was on the patio, frowning down at me.
Shame washed over me at Lina’s expression. She quickly became the last person I wanted to be mad at me, and disapproval was currently written all over her face. Screw what the guys thought of me, what did she think of me? It had to be so much worse. She didn’t know me at all. She thought I was someone important to her only baby boy. And yet, there he was, clearly upset with me.
“It was nice out,” I murmured, finally meeting Dayton’s eyes. He looked so heartbroken and confused.
His frown deepened. “So you come out here to sleep with Koen?”
“Enough,” Koen snapped. “You know nothing happened. Stop trying to make it into something that it wasn’t.”
Ouch. That oddly hurt.
Of course, nothing happened, and I hated what Dayton had to be thinking about me, but the brush-off from Koen also hurt.
This was a mess. I was a mess. I swallowed before a panic attack had a chance to take hold.
“I couldn’t sleep,” I said, hating the taste of the bile in my mouth. “So I came out here to look at the stars.”
“I noticed and brought her a blanket.”
“And that ended with you in the hammock with her?” Bryce asked.
“What the hell?” I asked, now growing angry. “What are we in? High school? You didn’t catch us naked or anything.” I grabbed my sweater at the collar to prove my point. “We talked. We fell asleep. Stop trying to twist it into something it isn’t. Come on, boys, let’s get ready for the morning.”
I grabbed Lawson and Lee’s hands. Thankfully, they didn’t argue or pull away as I headed back into the house. I met Lina’s gaze and bit down hard, grinding my teeth together. Her expression was unreadable, but experience told me her thoughts weren’t anything good.
In the guest bedroom, I yanked out our bags and grabbed the boys’ clothes for them to change into before grabbing my own.
“Was sleeping fun?” Lawson asked.
I grinned at my sweet boy. “Yes, it was. The stars were really pretty.”
He frowned down at his clothes. “I would have liked to do that.”
I blinked in surprise. I hadn’t thought about if they’d enjoy it or not. I didn’t even plan on sleeping outside.
“How about we do a summer camping trip?” I asked. “Once school is over, we’ll make it into a fun vacation. Just us and nature. We’ll let the bugs eat us, and you guys can play sacrifice when a bear comes into our campsite. We’ll go swimming, climb trees, and pretend we were raised by wolves. Does that work?”
“Really?” Lee asked, now interested as he jumped, trying to get his jeans up. I swear, if that boy grew again, I was going to scream. I’d bought those pants only a couple of weeks ago. I eyed him until he finished and nodded in approval. His pants fit… for now.
“Yeah, sure. I don’t mind suffering for you.” The idea of going camping, real camping, was not attractive at all. But I’d suffer through the bug bites, poison oak, and putting up a tent if it was something they wanted to do.
“Then we want to go camping,” Lee said.
“Then we will.” It’d be cheaper than trying to bring them to Disney World anyway. Though
I had a feeling, they’d still want to do that. “Did you guys brush your teeth?”
They shook their heads and ran to the bathroom when I raised my eyebrows. While they were causing mayhem in there and away from me, there was a soft knock on my door.
What were the chances that it was someone delivering room service rather than one of the guys ready to call me a harlot? The chances were dangerously low, but I could be hopeful when I wanted to be. I didn’t want to see their expressions, their disappointment and confusion.
The knock came again, summoning me, and at the same time mocking me. It was like whoever was on the other side could sense me. I was the prey to their predator, and I wasn’t so sure what state I’d be in after they pounced.
Blowing a breath and knowing at least the world wouldn’t end if I answered the door—I think—I opened it.
The one person I didn’t expect to see was Lucas. He stood with a plaid long-sleeve shirt, jeans, and boots. His eyes were framed by gray glasses. I hadn’t even realized he wore them. He probably didn’t have time to put his contacts in yet.
“Maddie.” He tried to smile but it came out strained. “I hope everything is okay?”
I blinked, trying to figure out his angle. I’d expect to see Lina before seeing him. Lina was obviously the woman of the house, and she didn’t seem like the type to stand in the shadows. A quick peek up and down the hallway proved that she wasn’t hiding. It was just Lucas before me, and he clearly looked uncomfortable.
“I’m fine, thank you,” I answered in a low voice, trying to not scream and slam the door in his face. There was no telling what kind of reaction that would have gotten from him.
“Good, good. I heard about the commotion this morning.”
“Commotion? It escalated to a commotion?” I asked, even more worried than before.
He sighed. “Don’t mind them. They’re a bunch of idiots.” He shrugged.
That threw me off. “You don’t care about them finding me sleeping in the yard?”
Sizzling Hot Apple Cider Page 13
