Meant to Be Yours

by Susan Mallery

  Renee put down her tablet and poured a glass of water. She handed it to Hanna, then felt her forehead and the side of her face.

  “Have you taken anything?” she asked quickly. “Valium, something else to help you relax?”

  Hanna stared at her. “Of course not.”

  Her eyes weren’t dilated and there were no other signs of drugs. As far as she knew, no one had brought alcohol into the room.

  Renee pulled out a stool and positioned it so Hanna could sit down. “Drink some water,” she said, seating herself across from the other woman. “Take deep breaths.”

  “I don’t want to take deep breaths, I want to get out of here.”

  Renee waited. Hanna glared at her, but she sipped water and drew in a breath.

  “Happy?” she asked, her voice both angry and panicked.

  “Not yet.” Renee kept her posture relaxed, her tone gentle. “Tell me what’s going on.”

  “I can’t marry Graham. Isn’t that obvious?” The tears returned. “Everything is a disaster. Or it will be. Have you met my family? I don’t even know how many of my stepbrothers and sisters are coming. I can barely remember who my parents are married to. I swear, they should wear name tags at all family events.”

  She clutched her glass in both hands. “That’s going to be me,” she said helplessly. “I’m going to have to divorce Graham and I don’t want to.”

  “Do you love him?”

  “Of course I love him. Now! But what about in two years or five years? What about when things go bad and I end up like my mother?”

  She brushed away tears. “He says it will be all right but he can’t know. Not really. It’s too big a risk.”

  “Tell me about the first time you met.”

  “What? Now? No. Besides, I already did.”

  Renee waited.

  Hanna glared at her. “Fine. We were standing in line for a movie. All our friends left so it was just the two of us. We introduced ourselves and started talking.”

  “Was it cold outside?”

  Hanna smiled. “A little, but I didn’t care. It could have been a hurricane and I would have stood there. I thought he was so good-looking and when he laughed at something I said, it was the best.”

  “Butterflies?”

  “More than that. I was scared and excited and hopeful and happy. It was wonderful.”

  “When did you first know you loved him?”

  Hanna sipped her water. “I thought it on maybe our fourth date, but I knew for sure after a month.” She laughed. “I wanted to say something, but I knew that sort of thing scared off some guys, so I kept quiet until he said it first.”

  “Was it magical?”

  “More than that. It was everything I’d ever wanted. He was amazing.”

  “Is he the best man you’ve ever known?”

  The tears returned. “He is. He’s kind and strong and he loves me with all his heart. I trust him completely.” She stiffened. “What are you doing?”

  “Trying to figure out if you’re scared and reacting or if you really think you’re making a mistake. There’s a difference, Hanna. A big one. Weddings are a huge deal and it’s not uncommon to have a mini freak-out. I have no problem with that. But if you really think you shouldn’t marry Graham, I need to know that, too. Because what you decide right now is going to affect the rest of your life. If you call off the wedding, then realize you do want to marry him, Graham may be okay with that. But no matter what, the memory of what you did will be there, always. You can’t take it back.”

  She leaned toward Hanna. “I will do whatever you want, and I will totally support your decision. I’m not judging. I’m making sure you know what you’re doing.”

  Hanna put down the glass and grabbed Renee’s hands. “Oh, no. I couldn’t just leave him standing there. I couldn’t humiliate him like that. You’re right—he would always have to live with that. We’d be sitting together having dinner and he would remember. I don’t want that. I love him. I don’t want to hurt him.”

  “Do you want to marry him?”

  “Of course.” She started to laugh. “What have I been doing?”

  “Like I said, having a little freak-out. It happens.”

  “I was so scared. I thought I was making a mistake. But I’m not. He’s wonderful and the only bad thing would be not to marry him today.”

  Hanna stood and flung her arms around Renee. “Thank you for talking me off the ledge.”

  “You’re welcome. Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely.” Hanna looked at herself in the mirror and shrieked. “My makeup! My dress.”

  “You’re going to be fine.”

  Renee turned on the steamer, then brought in the bridesmaids. It took only about fifteen minutes to get Hanna bride-ready. Renee got everyone in place and, as the last note of bagpipe music faded, motioned for the quartet to start the processional music.

  As the bridal party began the long walk to where Graham was waiting, Renee allowed herself to exhale fully for the first time in nearly three days. She hadn’t just been speaking to Hanna back there, she’d been talking to herself. Because she was wrestling with many of the same fears as her bride.

  What if it didn’t work out? What if they weren’t going to make it? What if, what if, what if. Her choices were simple—she could trust herself and Jasper to weather whatever happened and follow her heart, or she could spend the rest of her life being afraid. Because there weren’t any guarantees or promises. There was her and the man who had told her he loved her.

  She had spent years blaming circumstances or her mother for what had gone wrong—but what if the real culprit was her? What if she was the reason Turner had left? What if it was all on her?

  With a little time and self-reflection she might get close to an answer, but so what if she was half to blame or 90 percent? The past was done—what did she want from her future?

  Jasper, she thought with a certainty that filled every cell in her body. She wanted Jasper. All of him—the healed and the broken, the laughter and the pain, his past, her past, their future. She wanted him messing up and then growing from the experience. She wanted him busy with his writing, then hanging out with her. She wanted the man who spent time with her mother and came with her to get a cat and who brought her takeout when she was tired and hugged like he would never let go. She wanted to love him with the fearlessness he’d shown her. She wanted to be worthy and happy and giving and strong and she wanted to spend the rest of her life knowing he was exactly where she belonged.

  And she couldn’t tell him because Hanna and Graham were getting married and she needed to be doing her job.

  Somehow she managed to get through the ceremony without bursting out laughing or yelling out his name. She watched as they exchanged rings and shared their first kiss as husband and wife. She got them back into the bride’s room so they could have their first toast, just the two of them, then made sure the guests were moving out into the reception area.

  When the photographer corralled the families for pictures, Renee ducked away and went searching for Jasper.

  She found him in the back of the main building, standing by the empty white chairs. When he spotted her, she half expected him to walk away, but he stayed where he was, watching her approach.

  He looked good, she thought happily. The dark suit, shirt and tie suited him. It was his sexy author look, and it worked for her in a big way.

  “I don’t have much time,” she told him. “I have to get to the reception, but I didn’t want to wait any longer to tell you that I’m sorry for what happened before, between us. I’m sorry for how I acted and what I said. I was caught off guard. That’s information, not an excuse.”

  She paused, hoping he would say something, but he looked at her without speaking.

  This was her moment to be brave, she reminded herself. S
he refused to lose out because of fear. Not anymore.

  “A lot of things have gone wrong in my life,” she continued. “Verity’s gift has been a challenge from time to time, and while that’s on her, my reaction to those circumstances is on me. I’m pretty sure I learned the wrong lesson. Instead of thinking other people needed to grow enough to accept her, I told myself to be scared. To hide, to not reach out to anyone. I was so afraid of being like her that I stifled any creative thought I had. I wasn’t being my best self and when you came along, I didn’t realize what an amazing opportunity I had until I messed up everything.”

  His dark gaze locked on her face, but he still didn’t speak. Which made all this really hard, but she wasn’t giving up.

  Okay, this was it. She was ready to fling herself off the side of the mountain and hope he caught her.

  “I love you,” she told him. “With all my heart. I love you and I’m so grateful that you were able to see what we could be together. Even if it’s too late and you’re done with me, I still want you to know how I feel and I hope that you can—”

  He pulled her close, breathed her name and kissed her. No, it was more than a kiss—it was a promise. She hung on to him, kissing him back, feeling at home in his embrace, knowing this was all she’d ever wanted.

  “I love you, too,” he said, pulling back enough to stare into her eyes. “It’s not too late. It will never be too late, because I’m not going anywhere. I’ve just found you, Renee. I’m not letting go ever.”

  They smiled at each other, then kissed again. After a few seconds, he drew back.

  “You have a reception to put on. Go back to work. I’ll be waiting when you’re done.”

  She nodded. There was so much to talk about. Them, their future, where they were going to live and how they were going to have to introduce Koda to Fred and Lucille. But that was for later. He was right—she did have a reception to manage and a happy couple to watch over.

  She raised herself on tiptoe and kissed him. “I do love you, Jasper Dembenski.”

  “I love you back, times a thousand. Now go. I’ll be right here when you’re done.”

  Three weeks later...

  KODA STARED AT JASPER as if asking if this were really necessary. He was in his own home—shouldn’t the other creatures be the ones on a leash? At least that was Jasper’s interpretation of what Koda was thinking. If he really wanted to know, he was going to have to ask Verity to stop by.

  They were in day two of what he liked to think of as the cat invasion. So far Koda had been accepting and the cats weren’t overly freaked out.

  Fred and Lucille had a small room of their own, so they could have privacy while eating and using the bathroom. The cats weren’t allowed in his office, so Koda could have time away from them and relax. Renee was still concerned about the family blending but Jasper knew it was all going to work out.

  They’d spent the past few days moving Renee into his house. They’d discussed getting a place in town, but she wanted to see if she could make the mountain retreat work. So far the late fall weather was cooperating, but the real test would be January.

  He and Koda headed into the master bedroom where Renee was putting away her clothes. Knowing she’d moved in made him ridiculously happy, although he was trying to act as normal as possible. Thursday would be their first Thanksgiving together as a couple. Ed and Verity were flying in and they would all spend the day with Carol, her husband, Mathias, baby Devon, and Ed’s brother Ted. Dinner would be at Carol and Mathias’s house, with Koda getting a special invitation to join them.

  For once, there were no Thanksgiving weekend weddings, so he and Renee would have several days together. They wanted to trade in her car for something with all-wheel drive, then spend the rest of the time together, just the two of them. Well, the five of them, if he counted the pets.

  He had a special dinner planned for the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Not just the meal and the bottle of champagne he’d put aside, but also the ring he planned to give her when he asked her to marry him.

  “You sure I can’t help?” he asked.

  She smiled at him as she carefully put folded sweaters on a shelf. “With my heart and my life, but not with my clothes.”

  He grinned. “Just asking.”

  “I appreciate that, but I’m good.” She pointed to the door. “Go write. I know you’re dying to get back to your new serial killer.” She grinned. “Pun intended.”

  He crossed to her and kissed her. “I’m setting my timer for two hours. I want to spend the evening with you.” And the night and tomorrow and all the tomorrows, but he didn’t say that.

  “I will start dinner at six and be waiting breathlessly for your return.”

  He and Koda started for the office. Fred and Lucille raced past, playing some chase game only they understood. He walked through the kitchen, where Renee’s purse sat on the counter and her shoes in the middle of the floor. She had a messy streak he wouldn’t have guessed.

  Everything was different, he thought happily. Everything had changed and very much for the better. He was one lucky guy and later, he was going to be the guy who got the girl. It was his own happy ending—and it was the best one yet.

  * * *

  A Very Merry Princess

  Celebrate the season with this warmhearted charmer from #1 New York Times bestselling author Susan Mallery

  When Princess Bethany’s father, the king, sells one of his best stallions, she insists the animal get the royal treatment. Disguised as Beth Smith, a mere stable hand, she takes him to Happily Inc, California, a quaint wedding destination that’s especially sparkly over the holidays.

  Rich women have no place on Cade Saunders’s ranch. He wants a down-to-earth girl-next-door type—like Beth Smith. After a few cocoa-flavored kisses by the Christmas tree, Bethany begins to fall for her irresistibly handsome host. But will Cade still want her when he discovers she’s more familiar with a crown than a cowboy hat?

  Enjoy A Very Merry Princess!

  To Hazel, who kept asking for Bethany’s story. At long last!

  Contents

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ONE

  DE-PRINCESSING ONE’S LIFE wasn’t the easiest thing in the world. There were the obvious items to leave home—tiaras, scepters, ladies-in-waiting. But there were also actual problems. For Bethany Archer, otherwise known as Princess Bethany of El Bahar, the complications included her passport. As in, which one to take on her trip.

  She had her American passport by virtue of being born in California and spending the first nine years of her life there. But once she and her mom had moved to El Bahar and her mother married Crown Prince Malik, who two years ago had become the king, Bethany had become an honest-to-goodness princess, with an El Baharian passport. One that under Occupation actually said Princess.

  She looked at the two official booklets on her bed, then groaned and shoved both in her backpack. She would enter and exit the United States with her American passport, but have the El Baharian one with her just in case. Because where she went, complications followed.

  If only her mother had fallen in love with an ordinary man. Someone as wonderful and loving as King Malik, but less...royal. Not that Bethany hated living at the famed El Baharian pink palace. Or working in the royal stables, or being with her three younger brothers, or her mother, Queen Liana. As for her adoptive father, the king, Bethany had loved him from their very first meeting when she’d been nine years old. But the monarchy thing really, really sucked.

  Bethany’s late biological father had raced cars for a living. Looking back, she had
no idea how her parents had ever thought they could make their marriage work. After their divorce, Chuck had been far more interested in maintaining his cars than paying child support and he’d forgotten to spend time with his daughter.

  In an effort to provide a home and college fund for her daughter, Liana had taken a job as a math teacher at the American School in El Bahar. The well-paying position was to be a temporary thing—just long enough to provide the two of them with a little financial security. But Liana and her daughter had caught the eye of the then–Crown Prince and within a matter of weeks, the couple had been married and Bethany had become a princess.

  Bethany added her e-reader to her backpack, along with a few protein bars. The flight from El Bahar to the small airport near Happily Inc, California, would take nearly seventeen hours, including one fuel stop. While meal service would be offered, she couldn’t know if she would be able to leave the back of the plane for more than short bathroom breaks. That all depended on Rida and how he handled the journey.

  She’d already packed her two duffels. She wasn’t going on vacation, or traveling officially, so she wouldn’t need much. Jeans, shirts and boots should do it. Her entire skin care regimen consisted of soap, water and sunscreen. Her idea of nonprincess makeup was mascara and lip gloss. The second duffel held her sleeping bag and a pillow.

  “Are you ready?”

  She turned toward the door and saw her mother walking into her suite. Queen Liana of El Bahar was a beautiful woman in her forties who dressed stylishly and always looked perfectly pulled together. Bethany supposed it helped that famous designers were forever dropping by with new clothes for her mother to try.

  Her mother never forgot where she’d come from. One of her favorite charities helped women get an education so they could raise themselves out of poverty and take care of their families. In addition to serving on the board of the charity, the queen purged her wardrobe every year and sold the pieces at a fund-raising auction.