The Superfluous Man

by Botyakov Anatoly

  “Have a nice day!” he constrained himself to speak with a forced smile.

  “The same to you!” she said stiffly and began to walk in the direction of the intersection, heeling quickly, and Victor remained all alone again.

  He was following her with the eyes and trying to understand his own thoughts, which seemed to rise in his head without his participation. Victor did not know yet whether to feel sorry for her or to hate her for the fact that she kept tormenting herself with the doomed marriage. Maybe he had to stop thinking about all this and to run away. However, when she crossed the street and, having never looked at him, turned round a corner of a building, he suddenly discovered the fourth option and quickly went after her.

  Manoeuvering between an infinite human stream, like a predator making his way through dense thickets, he kept following her for a couple of minutes. A street they were walking on was designed for pedestrians only and correspondingly partitioned on both sides. Victor was trying to keep a distance between them about fifteen meters – far enough to have room for any manoeuvres, but at the same time rather close not to lose sight of her in the human swarm that was moving in both directions notwithstanding the laws of nature.

  Little by little, this shadowing engrossed Victor’s attention completely, and soon he forgot where he had started to follow her or even why. He was just blindly flocking after her, having no questions concerning a route that she chose.

  This entire walk Mariam looked absolutely composed, absolutely free. She also seemed to be walking without any definite aim, but at the same time did not even cast one glance on shop-windows of countless boutiques filling this long shopping street. She stopped only once, having been lost in contemplation of a big poster that, as Victor learned later, contained some information about a circus, which was going to arrive to the city.

  From time to time Victor began to think that she was about to discover his presence, that only one short second separated him from being exposed. And if it happened, then he would have no other choice but to die of shame on that very spot because at this moment, he was rather a boy who was secretly watching someone he loved, than a professional doing his job. Every time when he began to frighten himself with such thoughts, his head involuntarily bowed ground ward, and he touched, like an unskilful spy, the bridge of the nose, carelessly covering his face up with right palm. But when his fears for the umpteenth time turned out to be groundless, which could be easily proven by her regular steps with no intentions to look around, Victor’s thoughts changed instantly, and he again accused Mariam, inwardly, of being inattentive.

  Against the background of this performance, the summer sun insensibly began to burn stronger and stronger, forcing the whole creation to reduce the rate of movement. One might decide that even the time obeyed this ridiculous order, freezing somewhere in immediate proximity to the full irrevocable stop. Nevertheless, all this suited Victor well, even though the thought that he could follow her eternally did not come to light yet, but if it happened, he would definitely experience something akin to the real happiness. Everything seemed to him correct, when he was beside her or at least kept her in sight, as it was now.

  When they, forged together with an invisible chain, reached the end of the street, Mariam suddenly stopped and Victor immediately did the same, staring at her with agitation. However, just as many times before it, shortly he calmed down, for Mariam only took her cellular phone out of her handbag, then had a short talk with somebody and, without removing the phone, began to examine a square ahead of her. Inevitably, Victor fell under her influence and started to look for something ahead with enthusiasm, without having a single idea about what exactly he was looking for. Nevertheless, to his surprise, he was the first who found their common aim. It was Anna – that extremely suspicious, according to Tumenov, Mariam’s friend. She was joyfully waving a hand, standing on the other side of a street separating Mariam and Victor from a big shopping mall.

  After having caught sight of Anna, Victor even managed to remember about what he was busy with, however this realization of his own actions did not stay too long in his head because the next thing that he saw instantly returned him to the former state, to be exact, carried him even further away. Some formerly unknown feeling filled all his essence when he saw Mariam joyfully embrace and kiss, friendly, that man…

  He was a young man, seemingly thirty-something years of age. Tall, well-built, he comported himself without embarrassment. Victor conceived a hatred for him immediately after seeing him for the very first time. Everything in this person suddenly became in his eyes the brightest embodiment of all nasty and disgusting in this world, whether it was a way he smoothed down his fair hair, which was combed back, or a way he smiled and looked away solely to stare hard at her again one moment later. Everything, virtually every single trifle, each movement that this person could possibly be unaware of, Victor saw accurately, everywhere looking for defects and a malicious intent. And he could not stop doing it, although he was absolutely sure that he was looking at the Anna’s new fiancé, who had the great honour of playing the role of her new victim to satisfy that ravenous hunger.

  In the meanwhile, beyond the Victor’s perception everything was very quiet and inconspicuous; in fact, it was the most ordinary meeting without a fillip of existence of the second bottom in the relations between these three. After crossing the street, Mariam reservedly greeted Anna and then, probably only out of politeness, gingerly gave a hug to her friend’s fiancé, having answered with one false kiss to another one, when the lips do not even touch the cheek. When they greeted each other and exchanged a word, Mariam and her friends immediately directed their steps towards the mall, and Victor, without questioning his actions, hurried to follow them, confidently, but still keeping his head bowed.

  The next two hours of this hot, in all senses, day he spent in active search of any proofs capable of exposing anybody, no matter whom it might be, in anything, even if it was the most unimportant delinquency. In order to fulfil his mission more effectively, Victor took advantage, twice, of the subjects’ sluggishness and managed to purchase some sport jacket, which, as it became obvious shortly afterwards, was too big for him, but at the same time could dissemble him almost completely. Later he also bought a very expensive video camera to record everything what was going on around him and to study these materials later in detail, for some fine details could easily escape a human eye.

  Skilfully hiding now already from four eyes, Victor videoed about two hours of absolutely useless material, vividly demonstrating two young girls and one man doing shopping, from time to time vigorously discussing something unintelligible and supporting cheerful exclamations with active waves of the hands and contagious laughter. When this nameless festival came to an end, Anna and her fiancé left away, Mariam also left a few minutes later, having taken a taxi. And only Victor, who had lived two and a half hours of their life, did not know what to do next. He was standing at the exit, unseasonably dressed up in the big jacket of bright blue colour with orange inserts, squeezing the camera, which was an absolutely purposeless waste of money. His head was overwhelmed with impressions of playing a role of a private detective, and hunger was a catalyst for all unpleasant feelings at once. He had no other choice now but to come back home, to have a snack and to begin to go through the video in the absence of different things to do. Nevertheless, when he awakened the cellular phone from a three-day sleep, Alexander, Tumenov’s driver, ignorantly interfered in his elaborate plans.

  “Hello there,” said Alexander gaily.

  In fact, Victor did not wish to be talking with him but he had answered the call by pure accident, not because of awkwardness or anything of this sort, he simply was taken aback, without suspecting that someone would call him just as he would switch on the phone.

  “Good morning,” Victor exhaled ruefully.

  “This is Alexander, do you remember me?”

  “I do remember you, Alexander,” answered the exhausted detective
without any emotions, “also I can see your name when you call me.”

  “Yes, I am sorry; it is morning after all, so you never know. Well, I thought you might still be sleeping.”

  Victor consulted his watch and saw that it was almost 9 o’clock.

  “No, I was not sleeping.”

  “Regarding a reason of the call… Could we meet?” Alexander asked hesitatingly.

  “And may I know what exactly you expect from a meeting? Everything that I have managed to learn so far may be easily described with one short word – nothing. As I understand, Mariam spent last two days at home, so naturally I could not learn anything. However, you can calmly assure mister Tumenov that since this day I will apply all my skills to justify his hopes!” Victor said all this not with complaisance, but rather with anger and not because he was driven crazy by the unexpected call; right now there was only one thought in his head, he was thinking about Mariam, trying to understand how she could forget about their conversation so easily without becoming despondent.

  “No, no, it is not what I wanted!” Alexander began to calm Victor. “It is not what I wanted, well, actually it is in a sense, but this time it is my initiative. So what do you think? Can we meet?”

  “I do not mind meeting you, Alexander, but let us do it later?”

  “The thing is that I am free now,” the driver mumbled. “I obtained permission to be absent for an hour. I said to Tumenov that I had some private matters.”

  “Fine, but I would prefer to eat something first,” Victor finally agreed and went out, without waiting for the end of the conversation.

  “Of course, of course, I would gladly eat something too…”

  “Where will you pick me up? I am near the shopping centre.”

  “Well, I am afraid I will hardly make my way there now, too many cars in the morning. I would ask you to go to the nearest bus stop, it is not far from where you are now, keep straight from the main entrance and then turn the first corner. There we will get in touch over the phone again, if it is necessary.”

  Having hardly memorized the simplest instructions, Victor began to walk in the specified direction, too tired to guess a subject of the forthcoming conversation. Alexander met him right where they had agreed.

  “I know one nice place here,” Alexander said, explaining a driving direction. “A good place, it can’t be denied. With reasonable prices, yes, maybe window curtains are not very clean, but you should see portions and they cook very well, almost home-style. Are you very hungry?”

  “Well,” Victor answered without emotions, “I am fine.”

  He pretended that this situation was the most natural one because it was probably what Alexander wanted him to do, although his own actions were very strange; maybe it was his habitual behaviour in certain circumstances, but since it was only their second meeting, Victor could not tell anything with confidence.

  “Ten minutes and we will be there!” the driver kept giving pointless information.

  “And what exactly do you want to discuss?” Victor asked when another ten minutes passed, trying to look calm.

  “We are almost there… Do not worry, we will come now, find a free table, order something and then talk calmly without breaking the conversation off!” Alexander suddenly let out a cry and then made a vain attempt of masking it with an absolutely abnormal laughter, which, seemingly, made them both feel uncomfortable.

  Henceforth, for about ten more honest minutes, Victor and Alexander were completely silent, none of them uttered a word, and only an incompletely picked up radio station kept hissing, creating thereby an atmosphere of full madness.

  The place of arrival turned out to be, to the passenger’s great surprise, a small café that attracted all passers-by with almost domestic indifference concerning details and an extraordinary richness of strong smells, which, after combining forces, could easily deprive of a scent even a watchdog. However, it was only the first impression that, as we know, not necessarily proves to be the most correct one.

  Having occupied a free table, Alexander made an impressive order, promising to his stomach a soup, a portion of stewed meat and mashed potatoes, a cup of tea and some pastries were entitled to finish the marathon. Victor restricted himself to a salad with the lowest variety of ingredients in order to exclude a risk of total rejection of food, having thereby deserved at least one quizzical look from the opposite side of the table.

  “I think, it is time for us to get to the point,” Victor insisted this time without attention to anyone’s feelings, when the table was filled with plates.

  “To be honest, I have been wondering all the way, what the hell are you wearing this jacket for?” Alexander made his last attempt to delay the beginning of the inevitable.

  “I thought it would rain,” Victor lied harmlessly, pointing with a tone of his voice at the absurdity of the situation. “Listen, Alexander, if you wanted to have breakfast in my company, you could have told me about it directly and then you would have received the same direct refusal.”

  “Yes, I am sorry for all this. Well, on the whole, it concerns Mariam,” the initiator of the meeting admitted eventually. “I thought that you might leave all as it is now…”

  At this moment, Victor’s astonishment instantly shattered all the records at once. He simply could not trust his own ears, nor believe in what they convinced him to and, more than anything else, he could not believe that these words were said by the person sitting in front of him – the faithful and laconic Tumenov’s driver.

  “And why would I all of a sudden rush to fulfil your fantastic wish?” Victor asked him harshly with a provocative look, beginning to fly into a rage because of all the occurrences that he witnessed during the morning.

  “It is no wish!” Alexander drawled very slowly. “I think you have misunderstood me. I would have told you the same then, when I saw you in the doorway, but I had been taken aback. Of course, I could not be certain that you would not retell my words Tumenov.”

  “And now you think that you have grounds for supposing that I will not do it?” Victor kept feeding his seething anger, for ‘leaving all as it is’, as Alexander said, was not an option anymore.

  “Of course, I can see now that you are a sober-minded man. I understood it because of your silence during the way; you did not say anything to me, although you had the right to do it.” Alexander slowly confessed to his full awareness of the situation. “Frankly saying, you are free to tell him everything! I do not care! At the utmost I will be fired, but it is nothing.”

  “To be honest, I do not really understand why you have suddenly grown so anxious about this question. What connects you with her?” Victor felt the jealousy that he had tasted earlier this morning.

  “Nonsense! I would never dare! She is so… I feel just sorry for her, she is a poor thing. You do not know anything; you have not seen anything. They change domestic servants nearly every year in order to avoid spreading of rumours. He even slapped her in the face once, about three years ago. In the face!” Alexander kept throwing out one frankness after another with mixed emotions. “And you saw him! He is three times bigger than she is. She wanted to leave but she had no place to go.”

  “So why did not you tell me all this before?” Victor asked, being at a loss for words.

  “I am telling you, I could not do it without being sure. How many those private detectives came before you… I cannot even recall all of them. And nobody found anything. And even if she had another man indeed, so be it! Perhaps she would leave Tumenov then and start a normal life.”

  “Even if she had another man…” echoed in Victor’s ears.

  He did not want to hear anything else, whether it was the subject of the conversation or those assumptions made by Alexander, all this offended his ear.

  “You listen to me carefully! You did not ask me to start all this, so you have no right of asking me to stop it either!” Victor syllabled, nearly pointing the forefinger at Alexander’s face, and got up from his plac
e.

  “As you wish, mister detective,” the driver grinned in response to the idle threat. “But do not get too surprised, if somebody incidentally tells her the truth about everything.”

  “Bastard!” Victor cried out with rage and grabbed him by the shirt collar.

  “Well, and what next?” Alexander smiled calmly. “What are you going to do, gopher? It calls for courage and strength – things you are not particularly strong at, as far as I am concerned. I give you two days to make the right decision, to apologize to Tumenov and to disappear from her life forever. It is your problem how you will do it, I have heard that you are a very clever boy.”

  The situation instantly turned out for Victor the worst way possible, and there was nothing to bring it back to the former state. This very second the last bridge was burning down behind his back, and he was just standing still without knowing what to do. He did not feel insulted by those words that he just heard because he paid no heed to them, for every single one of his current thoughts was dedicated to her. He was treading blindfold and a gulf was yawning right at his feet. The only clear feeling he had now was fear that he would never see her again, that he would never give a smile in response to hers.

  He left in silence, having said nothing, overcome with all possible feelings, from rage to warm memories of Mariam, which seemed to be the last. When Victor finally came back home he was beside himself with profound sadness, as if being delirious. He could not recall anything clear about this day, and only the results of each segment was hanging before his eyes as an unfair verdict, typed directly in his head. He could feel the veins throb in his temple, preventing him from thinking. Everything seemed finished. Even without having properly begun, this story already became for him too precious, it left too many prints in his heart, and now somebody was going to bereave him of it. It must not be so…