Double Moon

by Francine Zapater

Erik opened the car window to talk to him.

  “They know. They’re looking for you.” said Luke.

  “Yeah I know, we just saw Rudolf a moment ago.” Erik's voice was cold as ice.

  “I warned you. You’re an idiot.”

  “Are you going to help us or not? Because if you’re not, you’d better leave us alone. The last thing we need now is one of your sermons.”

  “Of course I'll help you, but just be thankful the girl is here, otherwise I'd kick your ass for being so stupid.”

  I was angry. I didn’t understand anything. Which girl? Me? And most important, what was going on here? Why were we running away in the middle of the night like thieves? I wanted to say something, but I realized it wasn’t the best thing to do right then. The conversation between them was strained. Erik’s face was twisted with rage and his knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly. Even so, I tried to do a little digging.

  “Can someone tell me what this all is about?” I asked, now that there was total silence between the twins.

  Erik shook his head, like he was saying ‘no’ to something. But what? That he wasn’t going to answer me? Was that it? No, he wasn’t looking at me, he was looking at his brother, but Luke said nothing. I moved a little to get Erik’s attention. I noticed that his eyes were closed. I looked at Luke. He was doing the same. Then I understood. This had to be some kind of trick aliens have to communicate with each other telepathically and I couldn’t hear them.

  “No, I said no.” Erik suddenly opened his eyes and he was surprised to find how close my face was to his. His face was ashen, beaded with sweat. “Just follow us.”

  Luke went back to where he’d come from without a word. I heard the engine roar behind us. We shot down the road, speeding through the night.

  “Erik, please.” I said, almost begging. “Tell me what's going on or I’ll go crazy.”

  I wasn’t exaggerating at all. This was disconcerting. We were on the run, but I didn’t know why. And worse, what had come over him?

  “Nothing’s going to happen to you.” he said flatly “I’ll take care of you. I don’t know why he’s here, but I won’t let him find us again.”

  I didn’t like what I was hearing. Who was here? Rudolf? Why would he be searching for us if he’d just seen us? There was a concern on his face and in his voice that didn’t help to calm my nerves one little bit. My instinct for survival urged me to jump out and run away from all this madness. But that would never happen; I was incapable of getting away from him.

  “Why were Luke and you concentrating so hard before? Were you connecting or something?”

  I saw a hint of a smile on his face.

  “You never miss a thing, do you?” He tried to sound relaxed, but didn’t manage it. “We use our minds one hundred percent and one of the advantages is that we can share thoughts with others. It's like telepathy.”

  “Well I don’t see the funny side of having just anyone getting into my head.”

  “It doesn’t work like that. It only works if we open our minds to the person we want to communicate with; if they answer our call, then we can share our thoughts. Otherwise, there’s no connection. I thought I‘d explained that before.”

  “No. I think you missed out a detail or two.” My voice dripped with irony. All this was too much for me. I carried on, all the same. “What do I have to do with all this?”

  “You?” He looked at me as if he was looking at me for the first time.

  “Luke said...” He covered my mouth with his hand and left my sentence unfinished, shaking his head, like he knew what I was going to say before I’d said it.

  “Don’t listen what my brother says. Luke just wants to cause trouble. Now that he knows that you’re my Achilles heel he’s trying extra hard.” He tried to sound nonchalant, but his eyes, as they had in the past, showed me what his words were hiding.

  “Then why are we running like this? Where’s the danger? Can’t you talk to whoever that guy is?”

  “It depends on why he’s here.”

  “Luke was right even if you don’t want to admit it, wasn’t he?”

  He broke down.

  “I knew it, I knew this would happen. And I still went with it. It’s unforgivable. I’ll go to meet him before he sees you again. I can’t let them find you with me again; I've risked your life enough as it is.”

  “What are you talking about? Are you breaking up with me? Is that it?” He saw the fear on my face.

  “No, I’m going to sort this out, that’s all. I’m not new at this; I know what I have to do.”

  “You’re not making this any clearer. You’re giving me goose-bumps with your cryptic comments and your half-truths.”

  “I’m sorry. It’s more than I can explain. You already know too much. And if they knew that...” He looked upset. “Don’t ask me again, okay?”

  His voice was trembling slightly. I was aware that he was under too much pressure because of me and that was just making things worse.

  “Where are we going?”

  “We?” he repeated, as if he didn’t understand me.

  “Yes, you and me, where are we going now?”

  “I’ll take you home and then I’ll fix all this.”

  “I want to go with you.” I tried to put as much confidence in my voice as I could, which unfortunately wasn’t much.

  “No way.”

  “But, Erik, I want...”

  “I said no and that’s it.” The power in his voice startled me.

  I sulked in the car seat. I crossed my arms over my chest and kept my posture rigid. I wanted him to know I was angry. Erik stayed focused on the road. I looked sideways and saw his jaw clench. It was useless to try to argue with him. He’d become a wall that I banged my head against, over and over.

  I turned sharply to the window. I couldn’t bear to look at his face. It weakened my determination and I didn’t want just to let it go. Not this time. The streetlights passed us by like happy ballerinas. I counted the houses as we left them behind.

  We drove the rest of the way in silence. Erik drove like a lunatic. I lost track of the red lights he jumped. It was clear that he wouldn’t tell me the truth, possibly not to scare me, but he needn’t have bothered because I couldn’t have been more terrified. I couldn’t talk to anyone, not Beth, not Nicole, because of the fear I was feeling. What the hell was going on? What kind of paranoid nightmare had I gotten myself into?

  I closed my eyes, resting my head on the seat. A crippling headache was taking over the little sanity I had left. I started massaging my temples, drawing small circles with my fingers.

  “What’s up?” His honey-sweet voice calmed my anxiety a little, but I hadn’t forgotten the harshness of what he’d said.

  “I don’t know.” I answered without opening my eyes. “You tell me.” I added defensively.

  He said nothing, as I expected, but I felt his gaze resting on me. I imagined his lapis lazuli eyes, like the bottom of the sea, and I felt the urge to lose myself in them again, but I was furious with him. I couldn’t bear him treating me like a little girl, keeping me in the dark, so instead of giving in to my desires I shut my eyes tightly and carried on massaging my temples, but the hammer banging my head didn’t let up for a moment.

  The Audi slowed down until it came to a stop. I opened my eyes reluctantly. We’d arrived at my house and I still didn’t have any answers. Erik, his face red with rage, stared at me. His infinite sky, the one I loved, was asking me for understanding.

  I stood there looking at him, our eyes saying what our words could not.

  “Forgive me.” he begged, his voice full of passion and pain. “I’d give my life not to get you involved in all this.”

  He took my hands gently and raised them to his mouth, covering them with soft kisses. I couldn’t remember why I was angry.

  “I'm not angry... any more…” I replied shakily, “but I need you to tell me what's going on.”

  “Promise me so
mething.” he said, ignoring my comment.

  “Whatever you want.” I rushed to reply.

  “Promise me you’ll trust me, whatever happens, that you won’t forget that I love you more than anything in this life.” He begged. “Please, please promise me.”

  “I promise. I trust you and I won’t stop trusting you.” I said, sure of my words because they came from the very core of my being. “Now you have to promise me something.”

  He looked at me warily, knowing what I was going to ask.

  “Trust me the same way I trust you and stop hiding the truth from me.”

  “I can’t.” His face was as tormented as his voice. “You'd hate me if you knew the truth and that... I couldn’t bear that.”

  The roar of Luke’s motorbike interrupted us. He stopped beside us, whipping up a cloud of sand around him.

  Erik got out of the car and asked me to wait inside. I accepted, but I couldn’t wait to get out. I focused all my attention on the conversation that was supposedly taking place outside the car. They barely spoke and when they did, it was to argue. Suddenly my door opened and Luke leaned inside.

  “Want to go for a spin on my bike?” he ventured, smiling.

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I wasn’t going with that psycho even if it was around the corner. I got out of the car, ignoring him completely. I gave Erik a questioning look.

  “Leave this to me, okay?” Erik snapped as he took my hand. “Come on, let's take a walk.”

  “Hey! Where are you going?” yelled the red-haired biker. He sounded annoyed.

  “We need some privacy,” hissed Erik, pulling at me without turning to look at him. “I don’t expect you to understand.” His voice was so bitter that I was scared of whatever it was he had to say.

  We walked a little until we reached the corner of my street, out of Luke’s sight.

  Once we got there, Erik took me by both hands to try to convince me.

  “Now you have to stay home. Luke will stay with you.” he added regretfully. “That way I’ll stop worrying. If things take a turn for the worst, Luke will tell me straight away.”

  “No!” I protested hysterically.

  “Listen to me.” he said, shaking my shoulders gently. “I’m still not sure what Rudolf wants, or if there is actually any danger, but I'm not leaving him any breadcrumbs to follow. If he’s come for me, it’s me he’ll find. But only me.”

  “It won’t work.” It was just a hunch, but I said it aloud, overcome with sadness.

  “I have to try.” He laid his eyes on mine wistfully. “I don’t care what happens to me, but I couldn’t bear it if you...” His voice trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished. It wasn’t like him to react like that. He took a deep breath and went on. “Trust me when I say that I don’t like the idea of leaving you, even for a second, but Luke’s right, no one suspects him. You'll be safe and if all goes well tomorrow I'll come get you and all this will be old news, got it?”

  “No...” I muttered, drowning in anxiety.

  “I'll be back, I promise.” he assured me, stroking my cheek and catching a falling tear.

  “Don’t make promises you might not be able to keep.” He tried to object, but I covered his mouth with my hand, stroking the soft skin of his warm lips “You're going into the lion's den. I‘m okay with you not telling me the truth, I’m okay with keeping your secret, I‘m okay with running away with you, if that's the only way out. I'll do anything, anything you ask me, but please don’t go, don’t. I can’t stand being away from you without knowing if we’ll ever meet again.”

  He hugged me tight against his chest. I breathed in his scent and stroked his back, pressing him against me in a vain attempt to fuse our bodies into one to keep him with me. His lips began to caress my skin slowly down my face, my neck, lingeringly, savoring the moment of farewell, letting our hands commit every part of the other’s body to memory.

  When our mouths met, we embraced still harder. There was urgency and desire in that kiss. For a moment, everything disappeared. It was just us, wrapped in a spiral of passion, enough to ignite an entire forest. I could taste him on my tongue, the smell of his skin, his soft hands down my back, my shoulders, my waist, burning my skin.

  “I love you with all my heart.” he whispered breathlessly. “Don’t forget that.”

  “I love you too.” I didn’t want to let him go, but he slid easily out of my embrace.

  I watched him stride purposefully away. He got into the car and gave me a last look full of love and pain. He started the engine and sped away, while I watched in disbelief.

  I lost track of time. I didn’t know how long it had been since Erik had left. I stood still, motionless, until a hand touched my shoulder, startling me. It was Luke, I’d completely forgotten about him.

  “Let's go to your house. I don’t want you to freeze.”

  For a moment my eyes deceived me, making me believe it was my angel who was with me. But his hair like fire and his eyes like ice left me with no doubt and I was plunged again into the sadness of my loss. Erik wasn’t there and this was nothing more than a simple mirror image of the person I loved most in this world.

  Night fell on us like a heavy curtain dotted with sparkling rhinestones. I could feel the cold wind on my face, tightening my skin, but I didn’t care, in fact I didn’t care about anything right then.

  Luke spoke in a mechanical, practical, neutral way, without a hint of emotion. I thought that Erik must have been this way before I met him and I shivered at the thought. He handed me a helmet and I looked at him questioningly. Why did I want a helmet?

  “Let’s go for a ride. It'll make you feel better.” His voice was rough and sharp, a mischievous smile spreading across his face.

  I’d never ridden a motorbike. Any other time I would have been scared at the thought. I didn’t like bikes: too fast, too exposed. All this added to the fact that I don’t know how to keep my balance was reason enough not to ride one. But at that moment it didn’t matter. All I wanted was for the night to end so I could be with Erik again.

  “Hold on tight!” he said without turning to look at me as he started the bike up. “I don’t want to lose you on the road.” I heard the hint of a giggle muffled by his helmet. He thought he was funny. Well, I didn’t find it funny in the least. I just grabbed him by waist, pressing against his back, terrified.

  The cold air began pounding my body as we sped off down the road. At least Luke had been thoughtful enough to lend me his jacket, but I knew he’d regret it. My body, deprived of warmth, began to tremble. I held on tighter against his body and he, in response, sped up. It was clear that he was enjoying my discomfort.

  I wasn’t exactly having the time of my life, not at all, but a small part of me enjoyed the feeling of freedom that this little jaunt gave me. It was pleasant to release so much adrenaline. I could feel my body beginning to relax gradually and it made me forget all my fears. I closed my eyes to feel the effect of the speed on my skin.

  We got home earlier than I’d expected. I got off the bike with a feeling of relief. I stretched my legs, stretching my slightly aching back. I touched my tensed-up neck muscles.

  Luke looked at me from the bike, his face showing a hint of satisfaction because of the pathetic show I was putting on. His lips twisted into a smile, as mischievous as they were attractive, but not exactly confidence-inspiring. His eyes were cold and expressionless; they gave me the creeps every time I looked at them. This guy had the virtue of making me feel more awkward than I already did when he was around.

  I went home quickly and Luke followed me without asking if I minded having him there, hanging around my room, as if he had no choice but to stick to me like glue.

  “I'll call my mother. I don’t want her to get the wrong impression if she comes home from work and you’re here.”

  “Perfect.” I found it strange that he had nothing else to say. “I'll wait for you here.”

  Saying that, he leaned against the wall, hi
s eyes surveying the house. I turned away from him. His arrogant attitude made me feel nervous. I dialed Nicole’s number. I’d been expecting her to be home, this being her day off, but luckily for me, she wasn’t. There was a note on the refrigerator. They’d called her from the hospital, as usual.

  “Hi.”

  “Hi, Mom.” I looked at the clock and it was almost eleven. So much the better because she’d be busy and wouldn’t be able to pay much attention to me.

  “Is something wrong, sweetie?”

  “No. Well, yes.” I didn’t know where to start. What could I possibly tell her? That Erik had left because someone was after him and now his alien twin brother was here to protect me? I had to lie. I had no choice.

  “Stella, what’s going on? You're worrying me.” She began to raise her voice.

  “Well you see, Erik's brother came to visit him and, as he had nowhere to spend the night, I told him he could stay here. I just wanted to let you know to not be alarmed if you see him when you come back from work.”

  That was it. I’d done it. I’d dropped my white lie quickly, almost without stopping to breathe.

  I just needed to wait for my mother's reaction and pray that it wasn’t too extreme.

  “Stella! How can you do these things without telling me?”

  “I'm telling you now,” I defended myself.

  “You barely know your friend and now you go and take his brother in?!” Nicole was out of control, and I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

  Deep down, I wished she would leave the hospital and come home to kick out the conceited red-haired babysitter Erik had foisted on me.

  “Mom, calm down. It’s just for tonight; besides, he’s already here. Do you want me to kick him out onto the street? That wouldn’t be very hospitable, now would it?”

  “Stella, sometimes you act like a child. Have you thought about how irresponsible it was to bring that boy home when you’re all on your own?”

  “You've read too many detective novels, mom. Nothing’s going to happen; he's a lovely guy…” I lied. “Like Erik. I’ll keep my cell phone close, okay?” If that didn’t work I didn’t know what else to say.

  “I won’t feel happy about this until I get home,” she sighed reluctantly; I heard the distorted sound of a voice speaking on a PA system over the line. “I have to go, they're paging me. Just one more thing: remember to lock your room from the inside.”

  “Okay, mom.”

  “And don’t think this conversation is over. Tomorrow we’ll talk some more.”

  “Okay mom. See you tomorrow.”

  “Goodbye” The anger was audible in her voice right to the end.

  I sighed with relief when I switched the phone off. In the end it hadn’t been as bad as I’d expected. I went straight to the kitchen, ignoring my unwelcome guest. But to my surprise he’d got ahead of me and was sprawled on a chair in the kitchen, leafing through the newspaper my mother had left on the table that morning.

  I decided to change tactics. Maybe I could get more out of him. I sat opposite him with my heels on the edge of the chair, my arms wrapped around my knees. I needed information and Erik’s photocopy was going to provide it to me.

  “Luke, can I ask you a question?” I said in a friendly voice.

  “That depends” he breathed, without looking away from the article he was reading.

  “Why are you here? What’s so wrong with Erik and me being together?” I tried not to sound concerned, as if I was only interested in starting a conversation. But my eyes must have reflected the anxiety gnawing away at my insides. I was lucky he was so intent on his reading.

  “That’s two questions,” he said impassively without even bothering to look at me; I felt like I was about to have a nervous breakdown.

  I took a deep breath to calm the urge to get up from my chair and give him a good shaking. I leaned forward a little and with one hand I pulled the newspaper aside. He looked upset. He seemed to dislike me even being there. Who did he think he was?! He was the one who was surplus to requirements here!

  “Stop ignoring me,” I muttered angrily through clenched teeth. “Erik won’t tell me what's going on because he doesn’t want me to worry. But I'm sure you don’t care about that, so talk.” There was no trace of kindness in my voice. Or in what I was saying.

  He stood up and leaned his elbows on the table, his face a few inches from mine.

  I froze.

  “Do you really want to know?” His voice made me breathe faster.

  “Yes,” I answered with false self-assurance. Now I was so close to the truth, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to know.

  “All right, you asked for it, so sit down.” he ordered, pointing at the chair I’d got up from. I sat down; straight-backed, full of curiosity “I guess good old Erik has told you who we are and where we come from, hasn’t he?” he began, raising an eyebrow.

  “Kind of.” I didn’t want to go into too much detail; I preferred to hear it from him.

  “So you know who we are; but did you know that because you know our little secret, I’d have to kill you?” I was starting to be a little tired of hearing the same song over and over again, but what he said made the hairs on my skin stand on end. I knew Luke was trying to provoke me and I couldn’t let him have that satisfaction if I wanted to get answers to this madness so I nodded and bit my tongue, although he must have read something on my face that I couldn’t hide, judging by his reaction.

  “Huh! I think my brother has forgotten to tell you quite a few things,” he snapped, rolling his eyes. “All this sentimentality and falling in love is turning him into an idiot,” he added, with a look of disgust.

  I was just about to say something, but I managed to control myself. Maybe now he’d seen that I didn’t mind his teasing, he might start talking seriously.

  “What was I saying? ... Oh, yes! I was saying how superior we are in comparison to you humans. The problem is that we have a weakness that drives us crazy.” he said, staring at me.

  “What is this… weakness?” I stammered.

  “We like... how can I say it so you can understand it…” He stopped and thought for a few seconds, as if he was searching for the right word. “Let’s just say we like to… fraternize with other civilizations and experience new things.”

  “But that's good, right?”

  “You know Darwin's theory on the origin of species? About the supremacy of the strong over the weak and all that?”

  “Of course.”

  We’d studied Darwin’s theories in science class for a long time. In the theory of the origin of species, the main argument was that, in short, the strongest is the one who survives.

  “So can you imagine who the weak and the strong are in this case?”

  I swallowed hard, unable to answer. He smirked before adding the obvious.

  “You humans, with your useless sentimentality, you’re a weak race but don’t worry, we don’t want to bother you too much.”

  “Are you going to invade Earth? Or destroy us?”

  He burst out laughing. He had me where he wanted. I was scared to death. I was horrified.

  “No, of course we aren’t, we can still get something out of your imperfect genes. And that’s why we need you alive and blissfully unaware. We go down a different road.”

  His mischievous voice and his piercing gaze penetrated into the depths of my very soul, making me shudder.

  Maybe Nicole was right, who had I let into my house? Into my life?

  The kitchen began to spin around me. I dropped my head into my hands.

  “That’s enough talking. I think we should get some sleep.”

  “No!” How was I supposed to sleep now? I was only going to have terrible nightmares. He needed to finish what he’d begun. This conversation wasn’t going to end like that.

  I studied my options. If I showed him I was as scared as I actually felt, he’d refuse to keep talking, not because of me, I was sure, but for the pleasure of making me feel sca
red. So it was best to approach it in a rational way.

  Erik hadn’t hurt me; in fact he was risking his life for me and he knew that Luke was with me, which led me to think that actually this red-haired wise guy wasn’t as dangerous as he liked to think he was. At least for me. With that thought in mind, I started to calm down. I stood up, heading into the living room, gesturing him to follow me, which he did without a word. I didn’t know why, but he was following my lead. He seemed amused by my mood swings. I made myself comfortable on the sofa. He stood leaning against the fireplace. He studiously avoided sitting beside me. He wasn’t as confident as he liked to pretend, or so I thought. I started the conversation again from where we’d left off.

  “What road are you talking about? You can’t slice us open to alter our genes, can you?”

  My voice sounded weaker than it was supposed to.

  “That’s true,” he admitted.

  “Then what do you do?” He was giving me information drop by drop, and that exasperated me.

  “You human female teenagers are easy to manipulate. Your minds are inexperienced and your ability to conceive is a great alternative to slicing you open.”

  I put my hand to my mouth, choking back a cry; all at once, the pieces of the puzzle were starting to fit.

  “We have the capacity and the skills to modify human minds. But they must be young minds, still undamaged by years of experience. That way, we get a more disciplined and rational future generation. We’re doing you a great favor bringing some sanity to you. Although there is more.” He seemed proud, while I felt sick to my stomach. He continued his explanation as if he wasn’t aware of the effect he was having on me. Or maybe he was. “Then comes the best part, Plan B, the one we like most. Because of our genetic similarity, you can play host to our embryos and carry the pregnancy through to full term. The problem is,” he added, sitting next to me, “it’s not so easy to get you to play along.”

  “What do you mean?” I mumbled, feeling uncomfortable with him so close to me on the couch.

  “Well, most of you need some kind of courtship before you agree to… be with one of us.”

  A wave of nausea flooded over me

  “You talk about us as if we were rats you can experiment on as and when you want to. It's disgusting,” I growled.

  What right did they have to do that? Who asked them to come and improve anything? It was immoral, inhuman.

  He stretched his arm out, placing it on the back of the sofa behind my back, coming closer to my ear.

  “That's where ‘your’ Erik and I move into action.”

  Having him so close, whispering in my ear, made me quiver like the wispy smoke from the flame of a small candle. He was extremely attractive, and now his voice took on a sensual nuance. I was mesmerized, transfixed. I had no will of my own. I would have done anything he asked at that moment, just to keep him near.

  He pulled away suddenly. Instantly I felt a strong jolt that brought me back to reality. What had happened to me? I was shocked and scared.

  “You felt it, didn’t you?” A puckish smile etched itself on his face. “That's how we convince you to be our guinea pigs, or should I say our lovers, do you prefer that definition?”

  I could only sit there, frozen with astonishment.

  “Hypnosis?” I asked, still a little dizzy.

  “Kind of. It’s difficult to explain, maybe too difficult for your poor mind to take in, so let's say yes, it is like a kind of hypnosis. It’s part of our mental powers,” he said smugly.

  “It's revolting,” I said indignantly.

  “Think about that when Erik kisses you again.” His words were like so many punches in my stomach.

  Had Erik done that to me? Was what we’d had together not real?

  No, my heart refused to accept it. Erik would never toy with me like that. He wanted me. Still, Luke had managed to plant the seed of doubt in me.

  Hadn’t I thought long ago that it was impossible for such a perfect, attractive, wonderful guy like Erik to notice me? It seemed obvious now that here was the answer to all my questions.

  “I know what's going through your head right now,” I heard him say. “He wouldn’t do something like that, what we have is different, blah, blah, blah.” He waved his hand indifferently. “You don’t know how many times I‘ve heard that.”

  “There have been others?” I was about to drown in my own words.

  “Sure, and it's always more of the same. Something similar has happened to all of us who do this… work. I for one just do my job and that’s that, I don’t waste my time on lost causes.” He ran a hand distractedly through his hair, a gesture that reminded me even more of Erik. “I don’t like to risk as much as he’s risking with you. Although I have to admit that since he’s known you he’s been acting weird.”

  “What do you mean, ‘weird’?”

  My heart was a sad reflection of my pain. It was broken and shattered by what I’d just heard. Nothing else he could tell me could be the least bit important. Still, the last thing he’d said had fanned a tiny flame of hope.

  “I don’t know, he’s got too involved with you. He gets angry when I ask about you. He doesn’t want to finish the job. In fact, I’m sure that right now he’ll be trying to negotiate a change of target.” His voice was full of contempt.

  Why did he hate me like that? I threw my head back, staring at the cracks caused by years of wear on the living room ceiling.

  “I'm sorry I can’t give you more details,” he remarked as if he didn’t care. “I don’t understand about feelings and all that stuff.”

  My heart began to get itself together, little by little. But it was still bleeding. There was only one thing which could heal it completely. I needed to talk to Erik. Was that why he’d refused to tell me the truth? He said I’d hate him if I found out. I needed to see him now more than ever. But now I’d have to settle for questioning the second-rate imitation sitting beside me.

  “You’ve read his mind, what have you seen in it?”

  “I told you, I don’t understand feelings and that's all that’s filling his head right now. He isn’t reasoning normally. His thoughts are illogical and inconsistent. Everything he does seems to be motivated by strange impulses. And he has you in his head constantly. It bores me. To be honest, I just ignore him most of the time.”

  I went from utter sadness to the greatest joy in seconds. My emotions were on a rollercoaster. Erik thought about me. He felt something for me; it was obvious to his stupid brother, but what if they convinced him to finish the job?

  I stood and paced up and down, like a caged animal.

  “You've said Erik is trying to talk to them; what do you think will happen? Will he convince them or is he in danger?” Panic took over my body and my voice.

  “It's not easy to tell. I guess they’ll let him make his case, at the end of the day we’re reasonable, intelligent beings. We don’t let ourselves get carried away in the heat of the moment, like you do, but...” I saw a hint of concern on his face, while his eyes shone, replacing his usual deadpan expression.

  I kept quiet, waiting for him to say the words that had brought on such a change in him.

  “If they find that there’s no solution, it’s unlikely he will come back.”

  “What?! Are they going to kill him?!” My voice was hysterical.

  “No, we’re not violent by nature. At least as a first choice,” he remarked. “He’d be sent back to our planet to be ‘cured’ of his addiction.”

  Nausea seized me again, but this time it was much worse. I ran to the bathroom and bent over the toilet. I threw up everything inside my stomach. I was retching violently, but I had nothing left to vomit. I wiped my mouth with a piece of toilet paper, dropping exhausted onto the bathroom tiles. I curled up in a ball, letting the cool floor calm my pain. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t cry. I could only think of Erik and that I might never see him again.

  I wanted to die and I abandoned myself to the feeling.
/>
  I tried to open my eyes, raising my eyelids a little. My head was spinning like a top. I grabbed it with both hands in a desperate attempt to keep it still. The pain that came with the dizziness was unbearable.

  There was no cold under my skin. Quite the opposite, I felt a pleasant warmth and I felt comfortable. Then I realized that I wasn’t lying on the bathroom floor. I opened my eyes wide, recognizing the furniture in my room. I was lying on my bed and Erik was sitting next to me.

  “Oh my God! Are you okay?” I said, throwing myself at him. I wrapped my arms around his neck as hard as I could, breathing in the scent of his skin.

  The dim light of my bedside lamp highlighted glints of copper-colored hair that should have been golden. Only then did I realize my mistake.

  “I knew you’d end up liking me more than my wimp of a brother eventually.”

  I let him go quickly as if embracing him had stung me, and I hugged myself, trying to get over my disappointment.

  “You've been unconscious for more than three hours. Post-traumatic shock or something, I suppose.”

  He sat on the edge of the bed, watching me with renewed interest. I kept quiet, while reality fell back on me like a heavy stone slab.

  “You managed to scare me, seriously.” His voice sounded almost sweet, with no trace of his usual irony; he must have been worried “You were in the bathroom for a long time so I went to see if you needed help. Then I saw you lying on the floor, lifeless.” He shook his head, as if he wanted to erase the image from his mind. “I thought you’d done something crazy. I looked for signs on your arms and the bottles you had around, but I found nothing.” I noticed a tremor in his voice that puzzled me. “I thought maybe you’d had a heart attack, I didn’t know what to think.” He seemed to be trying to justify himself. “You humans are so vulnerable, so fragile.”

  He reached out his hand in an attempt to touch me, but he left it hanging in the air, finally letting it drop. He looked away, his gaze eventually lost between the sheets.

  “I'm sorry I was so abrupt with you. Erik was right; you didn’t need to know the whole truth. It just hurts you.”

  He was having a hard time admitting he’d made a mistake; I couldn’t believe he was really worried about me. That wasn’t in his controlled, rational nature.

  “If you get hurt, I don’t know what Erik will do to me,” he confessed finally.

  Of course! How stupid I’d been, it wasn’t me he cared about. He only cared about himself.

  “Erik wouldn’t hurt you, you told me you’re not of a violent nature,” I said sarcastically. I hated him for being so selfish.

  “Don’t be so sure of that, Erik’s nature is beginning to be more like yours than mine.” He raised his eyes and stared at me. “He’s pretty crazy and so far nothing’s happened to you, so imagine if something does happen. I think he’d lose the little sanity he has left. And then I’d prefer not to be anywhere near him.”

  Again I didn’t like his mocking tone.

  “I’d go mad too if something bad happened to him.” I was trying to defend Erik; I could feel my chin trembling.

  “Well, before someone goes insane, let’s stop talking about what might happen and focus on what's really going on.”

  He pulled up the sleeve of his sweater, exposing an identical watch to the one that Erik used.

  “It's late, we should get some sleep. Tomorrow isn’t going to be an easy day.”

  “Your watch...” I said pointing a finger. Luke looked at me but didn’t understand. “It's just like Erik’s. Is it some special gadget from your planet?”

  He started laugh loudly.

  “You've seen too many movies, haven’t you, honey?” he laughed. “You must know that there are places called stores where they sell things like this watch in bulk?”

  He was having a great time making fun of my naivety. I felt idiotic and angry at the same time “You’re so funny,” I growled.

  I lay back on my bed, pulling the covers up over my head. I didn’t want to look at him, or even hear him breathing. Everything about him got on my nerves. I was sure that if anything happened to Erik and he didn’t come back, he wouldn’t think twice about getting me on a spaceship to his planet and getting me to breed little aliens like rabbits.

  ‘Or maybe not,’ said a little voice in the back of my head. What? What was happening to me? I began to hate him as much as I needed him. ‘No, no, no, I hate Luke, period; the problem is that he reminds me too much of Eric,’ I thought, trying to convince myself.

  It would be smarter to get some sleep, which I found extremely difficult, and stop thinking about nonsense like this... It was just nonsense, right?

  The faint light of a sunbeam streaming through my window stroked my face, waking me up. I tossed and turned between the sheets, I didn’t want to get up yet. I’d dreamt about Erik, it had been so real... I squeezed my eyes tight shut to send the images back to my memory.

  “Up.” Someone pulled the sheets back. “We have to go.”

  I finally woke up in the most unpleasant way possible, to the sound of the cold voice of my angel’s dime store copy, coming back to haunt me again.

  “I don’t want to,” I croaked. “Leave me alone.” I pulled the quilt from his hands and covered myself back up to the ears.

  “Stop acting like a baby and get up.”

  I couldn’t take him anymore; the mere whisper of his breathing infuriated me.

  “Why are you doing this?” I sat up in bed, looking at him furiously.

  “Doing what?” he replied dismissively.

  “Being here, protecting me or whatever you’re supposed to be doing. It’s obvious that you’re uncomfortable with all this. I'm sure you like me as little as I like you, so why are you still here?”

  He looked stunned. Clearly it wasn’t the ‘good morning’ he’d expected.

  “I’m not doing it for you, if that makes you feel any better.” The harshness of his voice was like a sword plunging into the depths of my being. “I’m doing it for Erik, and don’t ask any more stupid questions or you might make me do something I really regret.”

  The threat was serious. I clammed up. I got up and headed to the bathroom without looking at him. I wasn’t going to go on arguing with him, I just wanted him to go and to be on my own. I brushed my teeth thoroughly to remove the bitter taste in my mouth. I remembered nothing of what had happened the night before. I felt like I’d vomited everything I’d ever eaten in my whole life.

  Nicole had to be asleep, exhausted by her night's work at the hospital. Had she already seen Luke? I didn’t know where he’d slept in the end. On the living room couch? In my room? I began to feel worried about not knowing, and it bothered me.

  After a quick shower, I put on the tracksuit that was hanging behind the door. It was very unflattering, but I didn’t care. After everything I’d found out, I didn’t want to look attractive to Luke in any possible way. The less he noticed me the better. A very small part of me sensed that this was a useless precaution.

  With my wet hair falling over my shoulders, I went into my room looking for my own private nightmare. There he was, standing in front of the overflowing bookcase, running his finger down the spines of the books.

  “Has my mother seen you?” I asked as I walked in.

  He didn’t even look at me. He carried on looking through my collection of books with more interest than he was showing in me.

  “No. I’ve been here with you all night.” He turned and winked at me. “It's a shame you don’t remember anything, it was fabulous.”

  My growing anger must have shown on my face.

  “Don’t look at me like that…” He twisted the corner of his lips in a provocative, sensual way. “I’m just kidding. Nothing happened. You slept, I watched you. When your mother came to see if you were okay, I hid. You can tell her I left or any other excuse you want to make up.”

  He turned his back to me, focusing all his attention on the books again.

&n
bsp; “Why?”

  “Why what?” he sighed, as if he was tired of my dumb questions.

  “Why have been you here all night, you could’ve had a comfortable night’s sleep on the couch.”

  “Yeah, sure,” he said, as if the reason was obvious. “And run the risk of you jumping out of the window and running off to look for Erik. No, no way.”

  “I wouldn’t have done that.” It was a stupid assumption.

  I’d never run away from my own home. There had to be another reason but he didn’t want to tell me. I didn’t want to push it. It didn’t matter what he might think, at the moment, I had other things to worry about, like thinking up another lie to tell Nicole. He strode over to me.

  “Are you ready?”

  “Ready for breakfast?”

  “No, ready to go.”

  “Go? Where?”

  “Erik called me last night while you were sleeping. This place isn’t safe; we’d better get you out of here. That’s all he said.”

  I felt my knees buckle, but I didn’t fall: Luke's reflexes were faster than my weakness, and instead of me crumpling to the floor, he caught me in his arms and lifted me up.

  “Put me down,” I demanded.

  “Are you sure you can stand up all on your own?” I hated the sarcasm in his voice.

  “I can do a lot of things on my own,” I answered in the same tone. “Like for example stay here in my house instead of going anywhere with you.”

  “That isn’t negotiable,” he bellowed, dumping me onto the bed and standing back.

  “But what’ll I tell my mother? I can’t up and leave just like that.” If the situation had been a color, it was beginning to go from dark brown to black.

  “Your mother’s asleep for now.” He analyzed the situation coldly “Take what you need and let's go. Then when you think the time is right, you call her and that’s it. Don’t look at me like that,” he objected, seeing the disconcerted look on my face. “You wouldn’t be the first or the last teenager who’s eloped with her lover.”

  “But what’s all this running away stuff about?! I won’t run like some criminal,” I said, going up to him and poking him in the chest with my finger. “You and your super-brain should know that.”

  “Enough!” I cringed at the fierceness in his voice. “No more arguing. We do what I say and that's that. You should’ve thought of that before you fell in love with my brother.”

  That was the last straw. I turned angrily on my heels, snorting like a mad horse. I went to the kitchen to write a note to my mother. I’d call her later to explain... What could I explain? That I was running away with a sarcastic alien because I’d fallen in love with another alien and now more of them were coming for me? No, my God, it was hard enough for me to take in, let alone tell someone else. They’d lock me up in a mental hospital and throw away the key. I’d have to think of something a little further from the truth before I called her.

  I climbed the stairs quietly, so as not to wake my mother up. Luke was waiting with a gym bag in his hand.

  “Your luggage,” he said, throwing me the heavy backpack. “Take a quick look; we’re going in five minutes.”

  He brushed quickly past me as he spoke. I didn’t even bother to look in the backpack. I threw the bag over my shoulder and followed that insufferable red-haired brat with, I had to admit, a spectacular body.

  He wouldn’t tell me where we were going. The whole way he remained more distant than usual. I didn’t bring anything up about our conversation the night before. I still wanted to know what had caused his growing hostility to me. So far his attitude was indifferent, just making hurtful comments and telling heartbreaking truths. But now he wasn’t talking to me, not even to make fun of me. He spoke in monosyllables, avoiding my gaze continuously.

  “I need to call home,” I said when we stopped to fill up at a small gas station.

  “No,” he said, looking at the pump.

  “Why not? You promised, it’s been more than four hours, and my mother will be worried.” I was indignant.

  “I said no,” he said impassively.

  “Well I say yes.”

  I turned and started to walk away from him, pulling the phone out of my pocket. With one hand he grabbed me by the wrist without giving me time to react, and with the other he wrenched the phone out of my hand. Luke kept hold of me and pulled me, stumbling, to his bike.

  “Let’s get one thing clear.” I felt cowed by his icy gaze, boring into my eyes and giving me no chance to look away. “My decisions are not negotiable. This isn’t a democracy where we take votes. I give the orders, got it?”

  “Since when? Who gave you the right?” I raised my head defiantly, trying to show the same authority he did. “I’m not your hostage, my opinion counts too, and besides, I doubt that Erik would be very happy with the way you’re treating me.”

  “Well pardon me for trying to save your ass!” He bowed low. “I’m sorry you don’t like me, Little Miss bellyache about everything and do nothing,” he said, sarcasm oozing from every pore. “We all can’t be as great as my brother Erik.” He mimicked my voice when he said Erik’s name.

  I wanted to slap him. The hate I felt for him last night was nothing to what I felt at that moment. I despised him; I had reason to feel that way, but what about him? What had I done to deserve such treatment?

  “What’s crawled up your butt?” I asked defensively.

  “Leave me alone,” he cut me short, turning away.

  I saw him stride confidently into the small store. A couple of employees turned to look at him as if they saw him as competition. Ridiculous. They couldn’t hold a candle to Luke.

  The female cashier eyed him up and down, while I tried to glare him to death.

  The purple twilight stained the road and we kept moving relentlessly. I was exhausted and hungry; we’d spent almost the entire day traveling on that two-wheeled piece of junk. Pain was shooting down my back, tired of holding the same position for so long.

  “When are we going to stop?”

  “When we get there.” Same old answer every time I asked the question.

  We’d gone back to the strained silence between us which we’d enjoyed before stopping at the gas station. I didn’t understand why we were going so far away. The road was getting worse as we left any trace of civilization behind and headed into the heart of the mountains.

  I’d never been there before. I thought it was impossible to drive on those roads in winter, lost in the woods. Apparently, I was wrong. We moved faster than I thought advisable, raising a cloud of rocks and mud after us. The scenery was breathtaking. It only needed an elf or two singing in the dense forest.

  I was worried about where we were going in our headlong flight. Finally he slowed down and I saw a small cabin.

  The house stood alone against the striking landscape. For the first time since this madness began, I felt really scared. What was I doing in a remote retreat in the middle of nowhere with the most despicable man in the universe? My prospects were not looking bright.

  The inside of the cabin surprised me. I expected a dilapidated, derelict house, but what I found was quite the opposite. Wood-paneled walls, interspersed with huge stones and a large fireplace. It wasn’t too big, but it was enough for a three-seater sofa, identical to the one I’d seen at Erik's house, and a wing chair in a slightly lighter tone and more worn by use. I looked around without daring to go in.

  Luke stood beside me silently, as if he was waiting for my approval. I sensed that he was more relaxed now that we’d finally reached our destination.

  “Does anyone live here?”

  “It's an occasional safe house, others may come.”

  “Who are these ‘others’?”

  “Friends.” He strode past me, throwing my backpack through a door that gave onto the living room.

  “Is that my room?” I asked, suspiciously. I wasn’t sure whether to stay there or run in the opposite direction.

  “Yes, that’s
your room. For the moment.”

  He continued wandering around the house without stopping to look at me even once. I stood motionless at the entrance. I watched him pile logs on top of the ashes of what had once been a fire. He added newspaper and dry leaves. He took a lighter from the mantelpiece and lit the paper. The room was filled with a crackling sound.

  “Where are you going to sleep?” I asked, taking a step forward, attracted by the warmth.

  “With you, if you let me,” he said impassively.

  “No way!” I said with a mixture of shame and rage; “I'd rather sleep on the street than with you!”

  “So sensitive!” he hissed. “Don’t worry; I'll sleep on the couch. I’m a gentleman,” he added, moving his hand and doffing an imaginary hat.

  “See you tomorrow,” I said, crossing over to my room without looking back at him. I closed the door and sat on the edge of the bed.

  In my mind, I went through what had happened so far. I still couldn’t believe it; it was like something from a Spielberg movie. These things don’t happen to normal people, do they?

  Anxiety seized my stomach when I thought of my mother, Beth, everyone who loved me. Right now they’d be suffering, not knowing where I was. A sad little piece of paper, with a pathetic excuse was all I’d left before I’d vanished. They knew me; they knew I didn’t usually do crazy things like running away from home. Maybe it was best to stop thinking. For the moment, I wasn’t going to get anywhere by worrying, I should get some sleep and get my ideas straight if I wanted to find a solution.

  A couple of days passed. I was lost in the middle of nowhere, with no way to communicate with anyone else than the red-haired show-off I was sharing the house with. The tension between me and Luke was getting worse.

  I was still angry with him for not letting me call Nicole. As for him, well, I didn’t know what was happening and I didn’t care. We devoted ourselves body and soul to ignoring each other in a very confined space.

  My anxiety about Erik grew every night; I was lost in my loneliness. We hadn’t heard from him. I got scared when I thought about what might have happened. Then I thought about Nicole; she’d be frantic, not hearing from me. I needed to talk to her.

  On the third night, my prayers were answered.

  “I need to go out to sort something out.” Luke walked towards the door, putting on his jacket. That was the longest sentence he’d spoken since we got to the cabin. “I'll be back soon. Don’t move from here.”

  He left without waiting for an answer, closing the door. Apparently he didn’t trust me. Where was I supposed to go in the middle of the night, out here in the woods?

  “Great,” I said out loud. At least I could relax a little without him around.

  I sat on the couch. I never did that while he was there. I only went out of my room to grab something to eat and then went back to my self-imposed prison while he mooched around the house. I was thankful to be alone at last and I reached out lazily for the book he’d left on the table, when there it was, right in front of me, a cordless phone, that greatest of treasures. Luke hadn’t given me my cell phone back, so I didn’t hesitate for a second and grabbed the handset, quickly dialing my home number.

  I didn’t have to wait two beeps to hear my mother’s anxious voice at the other end of the line.

  “Yes?”

  “Mom it’s me,” I answered quickly.

  “Thank God!” I heard her sobbing; it broke my heart.

  She was really suffering, and it was my fault. I felt like the worst person in the world for making her go through this.

  “Honey, are you okay?” she asked tearfully.

  “Yes mom, don’t worry. Sorry I didn’t call before, but it’s been kind of impossible.” Now that I was talking to her, I didn’t know what to say. The excuse I’d been chewing over these last few days seemed pretty unbelievable, but I had nothing better.

  “Where have you been? Is it because of that talk we had on the phone? Oh my God. Stella, you have no idea of ​​what I’m going through. How could you do this, Stella? I’ve got the whole town looking for you!” Her anxiety had turned into an anger that I had to try to deal with. “Are you coming… back?” Her voice trembled.

  “Of course I’m coming back. Just give me a minute to explain this mix-up.” I took a deep breath before telling my fake story. “I'm with Erik, at his parents' house.”

  Luckily I hadn’t told my mother the first version of the Icelandic Erik. Nicole had no idea where Erik's parents lived.

  “What? And why didn’t you call to tell me? Why didn’t you come by before you left? No, what am I saying? Why did you go away without asking permission? This doesn’t end here, this time you've gone too far.” She was getting angrier and angrier. I had to calm her down or at least try to convince her.

  “Mom, I'm really sorry; if you let me explain maybe you’ll understand,” Her silence encouraged me to keep talking. ”Erik's grandfather died.” It was the only excuse I could think of.

  “And what does that have to do with you? You hardly know the guy; you could’ve gone to the funeral like everybody does, but you didn’t have to disappear. And worst of all, you didn’t even bother to ask permission or even tell me.”

  “I know, but they called him while we were together. They were very close and it was very hard for him. He couldn’t even drive after getting the news and I offered to come with him.” The words flowed from my lips. I was amazed at the ease with which I could lie lately. “The problem is they live more than four hours away, and there’s no signal here, even though I've tried, it’s been impossible to call. The landline phone doesn’t work. It’s been damaged for months because of a breakdown after a storm.” I held my breath, waiting. Now we’d see if she trusted me or not. “I'm so sorry, mom. They’re having a bad time here and I didn’t want to make them feel any worse with my problems. I'm sorry you were so worried. Forgive me mom, I promise I’ll never do it again.”

  “And couldn’t you get to a phone booth or anything?” Her voice didn’t sound at all calm and I assumed she wasn’t calm either. “All right. Stay with Erik and his family, and meanwhile I'll think about what punishment your foolishness deserves. Is that clear?”

  “Very clear, mom.” I had a lump in my throat. What if I never came back? “I love you so much, mom”

  “I love you too, sweetie, but this can’t happen again. This time I mean it, seriously. Give them my condolences.”

  “Okay, mom, bye.”

  “One more thing, Stella. Be careful with that boy, okay? I don’t know why, but I have a bad feeling about him. Come back soon,” she said, without giving me a chance to answer.

  “Yes, mom: big kiss.”

  “Big kiss too, sweetie. Goodbye.”

  I hung up feeling like I was falling apart. I drew my legs up, wrapping my arms around my knees and bringing them up to my chest, resting my head on them.

  I cried. I cried bitterly to get everything I had inside out. I cried for my mother, I cried for Erik, I cried for myself. I ended up drowning in a state of semi-consciousness, with my eyes red from crying and my heart broken by sadness.

  A noise woke me up. The door opened, but I didn’t bother to turn to see who it was. I already knew. It was the last person in the world I wanted to see right then.

  “What’s going on here?” he said reproachfully. Although his voice was softer than usual, it got on my nerves as usual.

  “Leave me alone.” I wanted to give some strength to my voice, but the tears had drowned my throat and it just sounded like a faint whisper “I don’t have to explain anything to you. Get that through your head once and for all, damn it!”

  He walked towards me and sat down as if he hadn’t heard what I’d said. My head was still propped up on my knees. He began to stroke it slowly. My will was beginning to falter. I needed warmth from someone else now more than ever. I lifted my head and looked at him with glazed eyes. Luke lifted his hand and brushed my cheek lightly with his fingers an
d wiped away the tears that were soaking my face. I saw him hesitate for the first time. I put my hand on his. It felt so sweet, so refreshing! I didn’t want him to leave and for a moment, thanks to my tear-filled eyes, I thought I was seeing Erik here beside me.

  Luke didn’t seem arrogant or proud to me. With a single gesture he’d managed to remove all the hatred that I’d built up during the last few days. I stared at him when his fingertips brushed my lips. He also looked at me, but strangely, in a different way to before. I was about to ask why he was treating me so much better, why he’d changed his attitude. But I was afraid to break the moment and he went back to being the usual Luke, cold and sarcastic.

  There were no butterflies in my stomach like when Erik touched me, but my breathing was just as fast and it was becoming irregular.

  The transformation wasn’t just his attitude. He’d also changed physically.

  Now I could see the details that differentiated him from Erik more clearly.

  His jaw was square, rigid. Erik’s was softer, not so marked. All of Erik’s features were sweeter. Luke had a more aggressive face. His eyes weren’t the same blue as Erik’s. Luke’s iris had green brushstrokes, like a stormy sea with seaweed, while Erik’s was crystal blue, like a sea of ​​white sand.

  I freed myself from his hand, feeling uneasy. I didn’t like where this closeness was taking us.

  “What happened to you? Do you feel better?” he asked, visibly shaken.

  “Yes.” I avoided looking at him again. “I don’t like hurting people who love me.” My voice gave way when I remembered how Nicole had sobbed.

  “So calm down,” he whispered, leaning his head below mine to look at my face. “I don’t like to see you like this.”

  “That's impossible, you're immune to all this.” I said, knowing his aversion to feelings.

  “Don’t be so sure,” he said sadly.

  I was stunned. It took me a moment to digest the meaning of what he’d just said. He saw the disbelief in my eyes.

  “Don’t look at me like that.” He shook his head, as if he was also amazed by what was happening to him. “I don’t think I’ll ever make fun of my brother again.”

  He took a lock of my hair which was falling over my eyes, lifting it away from my face gently. I trembled with emotion. What was happening to me? What was happening to him?

  “This is crazy.” Something inside me told me it was better not to know the answer to the questions I’d just asked myself.

  “You have a strange power over me. From the first moment I saw you that night when you came out of the restaurant. I can’t, I don’t want to be away from you,” he said. “I swear I’ve tried. I’ve tried to keep as much distance between us as possible. These last few days have been torture for me. But it hasn’t helped. You win.”

  “What do I win?” I was confused.

  “You win me,” he replied without hesitation.

  I didn’t know what to say. He took my moment of indecision as an invitation.

  He kissed me.

  I didn’t react. I couldn’t move. I was shocked at what was happening. My skin crawled at the touch of his lips on mine, pressing me hard against him. It was a fleeting, rushed kiss. I felt like I was drowning. I don’t even know why I let him kiss me. I’d lost control of the situation. I had to slam on the brakes.

  “Stop!” I shouted in rage. “This isn’t right. I love Erik!”

  My words had an immediate effect. He let me go; I felt the chill of his absence on my skin.

  It only lasted a few seconds.

  “He doesn’t need to know,” he grinned.

  I began to feel dizzy. His face blurred and his sensual voice clouded my reason. Was he seducing me? I shook my head in a desperate attempt to stop him. I covered my ears with my hands, begging him to stop. I regained control of myself as quickly as I’d lost it.

  “He's no better than me, and you know it,” he said scornfully, seeing the rejection on my face.

  “I don’t care if you’re better or worse than Erik,” I answered, looking at him again. “I'm in love with him and that's what counts. I doubt you can understand that.”

  I wasn’t sure if I was protecting myself from him or from my own feelings. He didn’t answer.

  “This conversation is getting us nowhere,” I said, trying to calm him down. His silence was worse than anything he could say.

  I stood up, ready to hide in the shelter of my room. Luke still said nothing.

  “We’d better go to bed.”

  “I agree,” he said after a brief pause, misinterpreting my words and grabbing me by the waist.

  “No!” I protested. “Hey! What the hell were you thinking? I mean going to sleep. You, here,” I said pointing at the sofa. “And, me, in there. Is that clear?”

  “As a bell,” he smirked.

  He seemed to be having fun watching my face light up like a Christmas tree. He leaned over me to whisper in my ear.

  “When you wake up you’ll think about him, but when you sleep you’ll dream about me.”

  He pulled away slowly and let me past. I wanted to slap him and wipe that stupid smile off his face.

  It took me forever to fall asleep. My sleepless nights had returned and my insomnia, brought on by guilt, was the same as a few months before. Luke was totally wrong if he thought I was dreaming about him. But in the depths of my being, in a remote corner, I was afraid to go to sleep in case his predictions came true. I heard his deep breathing in the silence of the night. I got out of bed, opened the door quietly and tried to see through the gap. I saw his red hair; it was a little longer than Erik’s. I wanted to touch it. I closed the door quickly, running to get back into bed. I closed my eyes tight, trying to bring Erik's face to mind.

  It had been four days since he left. Would he know where we were? And was he aware of how dangerous it was leaving me alone with his brother? I wished with all my soul that Erik would clear away all the doubts I had in my head.

  REUNION

  “Happiness: a way station between too little and too much.”

  Channing Pollock