The Dirty Dozen: Alpha Edition

by Kay Maree

  Her eyes bug open again, “You…you’re back for good then?”

  Nodding my head, I don’t say anything but my eyes roam over her. She’s still petite but her breasts have gotten bigger. Her legs are still sexy as hell. That dimple on her left cheek is more prominent now and her eyes are as blue as ever; she’s just how I remember her but sexier.

  The voice of the little boy, snaps my attention down to him. “I’m sorry, Commander Steel. I was just so excited.” His voice raising at the last part.

  Dropping back to his height, I smile. “And why are you excited today?”

  “Momma is letting me have a muffin AND a milkshake.”

  “You must have done something really good to get a treat like that.”

  He nods his head. “Yep, I slept through the night for three whole nights.”

  “Way to go, little man.” The pride on his face and in his voice is remarkable. Offering up my hand for a high-five, his little hands slaps mine. I pretend it hurts and shake my hand back and forth. “You’ve got a good left hook there, buddy.”

  “Actually, Commander Steel, it was my right hand.” He lifts his left hand and makes an L shape. “See, L for left.”

  “I’ll have to remember that,” I say with a smile, “You’re quite clever, aren’t you?”

  “Yep,” he proudly says. “Momma, can Commander Steel come with us?”

  Her eyes pop wide open, her mouth drops but she remains silent. Giving her a reprieve, I shake my head. “Thanks for the offer, but I already have my coffee.” I lift my cup to show him, “Plus, I need to go meet with Doc Miller about possibly working with him.”

  “You’re a doctor?”

  “Sure am.”

  “I thought you were a commander?”

  “I was a doctor in the navy and I had the rank of commander.”

  “Wow, that’s so cool.” He beams. “Can I call you Commander Doc Steel?”

  I don’t get to answer because Autumn grabs his hand and pulls him away from me. “Come on, Ollie, it’s time for your treat.” She looks at me. “Goodbye, Griffin.” She called me Griffin, she only ever did that when she was angry. It seems time hasn’t eased the pain I caused. Before I can say anything, she turns and walks away from me. Her dismissal and retreat sting, I guess this is what she felt all those years ago when I left.

  I stare at the door of the coffee shop as that day flits through my mind. Shaking away the memory of the day I broke her heart, I turn and walk toward the Doc Miller’s office. I had hoped time would have healed the wound I left on her heart, and maybe, I’d get a second chance with her. After seeing her just now, it won’t be easy to win her over. Then again, she does have a kid now, and I bet Mr. Autumn dotes on her like the queen she is. Lucky bastard.

  Looking over, I see her staring at me through the coffee shop window. She smiles shyly at me, I know from the look in her eyes she’s remembering our past too. Maybe she’d settle for friendship, but can I be just friends with her? Guess time will tell.

  CHAPTER TWO

  AUTUMN

  Today is the first day in a long time that I can breathe easily. I haven’t felt this at peace in a long time, not since…no, I will not dwell on the past. My life’s focus now is on raising Ollie and giving him my everything. He is my everything and the only good thing to come from my time with Avon.

  Avon Best was perfect, until he wasn’t. It took me far too long to remove my rose-colored glasses, and now that I have, I will never put them back on again. For Ollie, I will do it. I need to stay strong for him, and for me.

  Bumping into Griffin today was a shock. I haven’t seen him in twenty years. The last time I saw him, he was leaving to start his degree and enlistment. He broke my heart leaving and I was broken, until I met Avon…and then Avon broke me and that was worse than Griffin shattering my heart. Avon broke me: mind, body, and soul. I vowed never to let a man break me again, to never let a man get under my skin and consume me. That was going well, until Ollie ran into Griffin. He has been at the forefront of my mind all day. Memories from our past keep playing on a loop in my head; we had so many good times, until we didn’t. That seems to be a trend with me and the opposite sex.

  The hurt I experienced all those years ago when he left is still there, but there’s also the love I had for him. He was my first love, my first heartbreak. My first everything. I wonder if we will finally get our happily ever after. That sizzle between us is still there. When my eyes landed on him, my heart skipped a beat. He’s just as sexy today as he was back then. If anything, age has added to his appeal. Broad shoulders. Eyes that still set my skin on fire. Rough hands that know every inch of my body. Just thinking about him and his hands has my insides quivering. Closing my eyes, my mind drifts back to a happy time with Griff and I…

  …Griff and I are spending the day at the lake. He stopped to pick me up a few moments ago, and when I walk down the stairs, I feel his gaze roam over my body. I’m wearing a red and black bikini, underneath a sheer sundress, and on my feet are my flip-flops with a jewel on the side. My sunglasses cover my eyes and on my head is a floppy hat. Opening the door to his black Bronco, I climb in. Dropping my bag on the floor, I turn to him and smile. “Hi, boyfriend.”

  “Hi, girlfriend,” he says, as he leans toward me and presses his lips to mine. My eyes drop closed and I thread my fingers around his neck, pulling him closer to me. He breaks our kiss and rests his forehead against mine. “I love kissing you.”

  “I love kissing you too,” I whisper back, pressing my lips to his once again. I moan into his mouth when he slides his hand around my waist, pulling me closer to him. My breasts press against his chest, the friction causing my nipples to harden and my clit to throb. We have yet to take our relationship that far, but I think it’s time.

  “Griff,” I whisper, “I think I’m ready.”

  He pulls back and stares at me. “What?”

  “I’m ready. Tonight is the night.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Nodding my head up and down, I smile. “Definitely sure. If it wasn’t hotter that Hades out there, I’d say take me to your place and do me now, but I want our first time to be special. Tonight, I will cook us dinner, and then after dinner, I want you to make love to me until the wee hours of the morning.”

  “Shit, babe, you can’t say that to me. Look.” He points to his groin and I see that he’s hard.

  Leaning over, I whisper, “If you're lucky, I might help you out with that while we are swimming.”

  “You little minx.” He kisses my nose and winks at me. “Let’s go.” He puts the Bronco into gear and we head toward the lake. We spent the day at the lake frolicking and making out. When then sun started to dip, we headed back to Griffin’s place where the fun continued well into the wee hours of the morning.

  The day was absolutely perfect, and the night, unforgettable. One I will remember forever.

  Sitting on the sofa, I smile at the memory, and yes, it is one I remember forever. Every detail of the day is clear and vivid in my mind. Things with Griff and I were amazing, beyond amazing. He was my everything and I was his. We were perfect together…and then we weren’t. It all changed in an instant, and from that point on, everything in my life seemed to follow that path too. Perfect one minute, imploding the next. I won’t go there again, I can’t let myself get hurt because Ollie needs me. I need to be the best mom for him, and I intend to do that. My heart and desires need be ignored, and they will be…for now.

  CHAPTER THREE

  GRIFFIN

  My meeting with Doc Miller went well, actually it went really fucking well. He is looking to retire soon, and if all goes to plan, he’s going to sell me his practice when the time comes. That’s better than I could have expected. When I first called him, he didn’t seem interested, but now it seems it’s all falling into place. Maybe moving back to Sandpoint won’t be as bad as I originally thought it would be.

  With my job sorted and li
ving arrangements almost finalized, life out of the navy isn’t as overwhelming as I thought. Tonight, I’m meeting up with a few buddies who still live here for drinks. When I walk into The Tavern, I smile. This place hasn’t changed since the first time I snuck in here when I was a teenager.

  Jimmy Jones is behind the bar and he hasn’t aged a day. “Jimmy Jones, how the hell are you?” I say, as I take a seat at the bar.

  “Good, good,” he says, stretching his hand across for me to shake, “Commander Steel, heard you were back.”

  “It’s just Mr. Steel now. Actually no, that’s my father, call me Griff.”

  “Okay, Doc it is then.”

  Smartass bastard. He slides a beer over to me and I pick up the mug. “Thanks.” Bringing it to my lips I take a sip, the yeasty goodness of the crisp lager is just what I need. “So, what’s new?”

  “Same old, same old,” he says, and before I can ask another question, he serves another patron. Grabbing my beer, I spin around and my eyes take in the place. It’s exactly as I remember. Booths line the wall to the left as you walk in, the bar runs the length of the place on the right. The kitchen is in the right back corner, across from that a poolroom, and down the corridor between the two are the offices and restrooms. The lighting is dark, but it works, and the wood floors are just as shiny as they were the last time I was here.

  Like the three musketeers that they are; James, Jamie, and Jason arrive at the same time and saunter toward me. “Well, well, well,” Jason singsongs, “look who’s returned home.”

  “Jason, good to see you, man.” Standing up, I shake his hand and he pulls me in for the one-armed bro hug. Turning to James and Jamie, we greet each other in the same manner.

  “Well, shit me,” Old Man Johnson, James’s dad, says, “the four of you back together again can only spell trouble.” He pauses. “At least your ringleader has settled down and won’t be here to lead you all astray.” Just like that, my mind drifts to Autumn. Back in high school, the five of us used to get into so much mischief. Thankfully, we had her on our team to bat her eyelashes and get us out of the shit we found ourselves in. Without her, the four of us would have been arrested, or beaten up, on numerous occasions. Everyone knew she was the ringleader, but she had a way of making you see what she wanted.

  “You seen her yet, dude?” Jamie asks me as we head toward the pool tables.

  Nodding my head, I take a swig of beer. “Yep, ran into her and her son yesterday.”

  The three of them nod, the silence is odd, especially since my friends are anything but quiet. “Am I missing something?”

  They all shake their heads no.

  “Just…”

  “Just what, James?”

  “Just don’t go all gung ho, bull in a china shop like you always do when it comes to her. She’s been through a lot. She’s happy, finally.”

  “I can see she’s happy. She’s got a kid and husband, I only ever wanted her to be happy.”

  A look passes between them. “Seriously, what am I missing here?” I ask, as I rack up the balls.

  “What do know about her after you left?” James asks, he leans against the pool table and crosses his arms across his chest.

  “Not much. We broke up soon after I left. When I came back before I deployed, she was gone. I hadn’t seen her until I bumped into her the other day.”

  The three of them share a look again. “Seems I’m out in the cold and missing something. What is it?”

  “Look,” James says, “She’s had it rough in the past. Ollie’s dad is a asshole.”

  “Asshole is putting it lightly,” Jamie adds.

  “Let’s just say, if he was on fire, I’d throw gasoline at him.”

  “Okay, baby daddy is an ass. What else is there?”

  James sighs, “When she returned to Sandpoint, she was pregnant with Ollie.” He pauses. “She was also black and blue with many broken bones.”

  My eyes snap open. “What do you mean?” I growl, my blood boiling at the thought of anyone laying their hands on Autumn.

  “He’d been beating her for years. Apparently he was abusive, verbally and physically. When he found out she was pregnant, he was over the moon at first. With all the morning sickness and the focus being on her, he lost his shit and beat her pretty bad one day, and that was the day she decided to get out. Carla and Howard raced to Georgetown and brought her back here.”

  “Where’s this fucker now?”

  “Locked away. Autumn pressed charges. He pled guilty and was sentenced to seven years.”

  “Fuck me,” I whisper.

  James nods. “Dude, I’ve never seen her as broken as she was when she returned. But in typical Autumn style, she stepped up and was strong, for Ollie. She’d do anything for that kid, we all would.” He smiles, “I was there the day she went into labor with him.”

  “Hence, James as his middle name.” He scrunches his eyes in confusion at me knowing this. “Ollie bumped into me after running off, she shouted his full name in anger.”

  “Yeah, she still does that, even to me.” I laugh. That was her thing when we were younger, seems some things don’t change. He looks at me. “Dude, what are you going to do?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Autumn, she’s been through a lot, man. I don't want to see her get hurt…again.”

  His statement is like a punch to the gut. “To be honest, I don't know, but I will promise you this. Whatever happens, I will not hurt her.”

  “Good, ‘cause I’d hate to have to kick your ass.”

  “I’d like to see you try.”

  And just the like, the heaviness of our conversation dissipates and we fall into our old pattern. Playing pool and talking shit to one another.

  After spending the night with the guys, I head home around midnight, but I’m too wired to sleep, my brain is firing on all cylinders. Everything I learned tonight is whirring around in my head. I’m sitting on my sofa, with a beer in hand, and all I can think about is her; the one that got away. The one I never stopped thinking about. Ever since I bumped into her and Ollie, I haven’t been able to get Autumn off my mind. After hearing how her life turned out, I feel even shittier about leaving her all those years ago.

  Taking another sip of beer, I wonder if maybe this is my second chance with her, not that I deserve one. She seems to still harbor a little, okay a shitton of anger toward me. I would have thought, after twenty years, she’d have let it go. But I guess with what I, and that asshat, did to her, she’s hesitant when it comes to the opposite sex. But I know she still feels what I feel, I saw the look in her eyes when she saw me. The hunger, the desire, it’s exactly what I feel. That spark. That connection between us is still there. I want a second chance with her, and I’m determined to mend her broken heart and give her the happily ever after she deserves.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  AUTUMN

  The return of Commander Steel is the talk of the town at the moment. Ever since I bumped into him over a week ago, he’s all I hear about…all I dream and think about—damn him. If the lady at the store mentions he’s single, one more time; I will lose my shit. Heaven forbid that two people who live in the same town are single. Never mind the fact he broke my heart. I know technically, I was the one to officially end things between us, but if he hadn’t left, my heart would have been fine.

  My heart just couldn’t take the distance. I was lonely without Griff here. Everything reminded me of him, of all the good times we had. I hated life, actually, I hated everything, but most of all, I hated him for leaving me. Cutting ties with him and getting out of Sandpoint were the only things I could do to move on, and it worked. I enrolled to become a teacher at Indiana State University. I completed my degree and became a teacher. After graduation I secured a job in Georgetown and moved there. I loved my job working at the elementary school. Working with kids, molding them, it's so rewarding.

  A few years after I moved to Georgetown was when
I met Avon. I was reluctant to start anything with him, but he was persistent. After giving in, he took me on a date and I didn’t hate it. He took me on a few more and I started to fall for him, I thought I’d won the lottery. Even though I loved him with everything I had, Griffin Steel still held a piece of my heart, and I think he always will. A few months after we officially started dating, we moved in together. It was perfect, my life was perfect once again, and I was ecstatically happy. I had a great job, a loving boyfriend, and great friends. I was hoping he’d propose, then we’d get married and live happily ever after. Instead, he turned into a nightmare. One minute he was the loving Avon I fell in love with, the next he was a mean bastard. It started off with a verbal insult here and there. Then the odd slap on the face. The first day he viciously assaulted me, I thought I was going to die. I’d never felt pain like I did that day, his boot in my ribs was nothing compared to him stomping on my legs. How I managed to cover up what he did that day still amazes me. I don’t know how I managed to hide my injuries from that incident, but I did. How I managed to cover them up for the weeks, months, and years following I have no idea; guess I’m a good actress after all.

  When I got pregnant for the second time, I thought Avon would be over the moon, going by his reaction when I lost the first one, I hoped this would be the turning point for him and us. Ohh how I was wrong. He was loving and wonderful at first, but then it all turned horrific. He savagely beat me that day, never before had he been this violent. My body was black and blue, multiple bones were broken, and that was the first time I lost consciousness after one of his attacks. Miraculously, I didn’t lose the baby, but that beating opened my eyes to the way I was living, and it was the day I escaped. I called Mom and Dad and they came to my rescue. Dad pushed me to press charges against him, and I’m glad I made the decision to so. He didn’t deserve to get away scot-free for what he did to me, and no woman should have to go through what I did at his hands. To this day, I still don’t understand why I stayed; love makes you do stupid things, I guess.