The Dirty Dozen: Alpha Edition
Page 82
“I’m not being an ass McKenzie. I said I never wanted to hurt you and I meant that. It’s just this is the reality of my job, there is no possible way I can continue to do something I love while you’re a million miles away enjoying college life,” I remarked.
“Do I even get a say? Do I get to tell you what I want?” she asked.
Fiery, sassy and sexy as hell this was McKenzie through and through. I like this version of her. I’d always cherish this version of her. I stepped closer making her lean into the car, her back arching making her chest heaving with every breath she took. I wasn’t here to argue, and I wasn’t here to bring her to tears, all I wanted was to enjoy the next two days, say my goodbyes and part ways as good friends.
I leaned down and sealed my lips to hers. I couldn’t stand fighting with her; it wasn’t our thing and I certainly wasn’t a man to break a woman’s heart, but this was my reality. I loved my job and while I knew she would be the only woman I’d ever consider settling down with the timing was all wrong.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Hard goodbye
He would never understand, never understand my feelings. How that simple meeting at his parents
“Then what do you want?” he shrieked in frustration.
“Everything,” I whispered.
“Well, it’s not going to happen,” he said.
“Why?” I questioned.
I knew why, I just wanted to hear him tell me once again. I knew once he said it again that this would be it.
I needed to walk away.
“Don’t walk away,” he replied gripping my hand. “Just because we can’t be together doesn’t mean I don’t feel for you McKenzie,” he declared.
“What do you want Jasper? I groaned. “Because I know what I want, I want you,” I added.
“You know that can never happen, because this … whatever this was, it has to end McKenzie. You need to move on, enjoy college and I need to go on with my life,” he specified.
“If this is it, at least give me the pleasure of decent goodbye,” I ordered, taking the step towards him.
He didn’t disappoint, he captured me, ravaging me in a way that I’d always envisioned. It was a mess of sheer curtains and roaming hands, of moans of pleasure, affectionate kisses and sweet tender tears. As he placed me in his lap, I let the tears fall but I allowed my mind, body a soul to say goodbye. This was our goodbye, our hard goodbye.
And as painful as it was to peel myself away from him, I did. I leaned in kissed him hard, true and strong then I pulled away and left his life for forever.
This was goodbye.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Returning to Work
I felt the entire time I was in Alaska I was walking on a cloud of dreams. I barely remember my parent’s engagement party let alone Christmas day which was a major event in the Banks family.
I did remember Dwayne, how I’d finally found some time to discover why he was so down in the dumps. Apparently, he’d gotten a girl pregnant and while he was trying to get his head around the idea of becoming a father, the girl wasn’t keen on being with him. A one-night stand had resulted in a baby… or a soon to be baby and that frightened him.
I wanted to help him with his issues and while I did to a degree, I had my own issues to fix. The emptiness I felt on returning to my job was more than I’d anticipated.
“Cheer up buttercup,” Teddy remarked as he sat beside me on the log we sat on when it was lunch break.
“Fuck off,” I barked back. The words kinds just slipped out.
“Calm down, I wanted to see if I could get a rise out of you which is clear I can, in fact you’ve been snapping at people since you returned,” Teddy declared. “If you keep it up, I can see someone knocking you out.”
He was right, I’d been an arrogant son of a bitch ever since I’d returned from the Christmas holidays and that was almost a year ago. I knew why and ultimately, I had no one to blame but myself for my own self-loathing behaviour.
“Honestly, what happened to the Jasper who went on holidays?”
“A girl,” I groaned.
“It’s always a girl,” he stated.
“Not just any girl… the girl,” I voiced.
“What happened, she dumped you?”
“Holiday romance, my stupid idea but I can’t have her,” I said.
“Who said you can’t have her?”
“I don’t know, I just feel if I did have anything more with her than I’d feel torn inside over this job,” I declared.
“You’re a fool, you job is only a profession. Yes, you love it, but it doesn’t define who you can and can’t date. If you like this girl and she likes you in return, wouldn’t you give it a chance?” Teddy asked.
I wanted to, but truthfully, I believed I was afraid to want it and for so many reasons. What McKenzie made me feel was more than I’d ever hoped to find with a girl, but it scared me. If I let her in, would she hurt me, would I hurt her, would my job and the dangers it presented be too much for us both to handle?
I had so many questions, but they’d never be answered just sitting around here acting like an idiot and pushing everyone away.
EPILOGUE
McKenzie
Little did she know, but from the very second, I met her she had owned a piece of me. I guess without my knowledge I’d given her more than she’d ask for, more than I was willing to give. I knew she was it, there would never be another woman who could control me in the same way she could. There would never be another woman as frustratingly beautiful as she was. No one could love me as much as she did. I hadn’t noticed it until Teddy had said the words, but she was my everything. We both needed each other.
I let a mischievous smile slip across my face as I knocked on the door of her campus bedroom. This would be it, the moment she opened that door I’d pounce. I took in a deep breath and waited. It took a few minutes before it swung open and the most beautiful face looked back at me.
“Hello McKenzie,” I said.
“Jasper,” she whispered back right before she leapt into my arms her lips attacking mine. I swear she’d almost knocked the two of us clean over and into the hall of her dorm. I could picture that being a great college scene she’d never live down.
I never thought I’d find someone to challenge me in a way that made me realize what I’d been missing all my life.
I came home for a party, for my parent’s engagement to celebrate their love. I watched as my family did their usual crazy over the top antics, how they drank till they dropped, flirted with the most inappropriate of people and simply loved in the way only family could love each other.
I met a girl; one I grew to love and that was scary but rewarding, nonetheless.
McKenzie we’d make a good go of being more than just friends and that was a journey I was keen to explore.
About the Author
The best way to this authors heart is through Minties!
I'm a self-confessed shopaholic, book-a-holic and nerdy child!
I'm a self-published Aussie author from a small country town in Queensland. I have 3 children, a menagerie of pets which include cows, chickens, ducks, sheep and several dogs.
I not only love to write novels but I love to read from many genres which include Y.A, fantasy, romance including erotica and much more. I'm a geek for all things Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings that's just to name a few.
I'm a bit of a clown always up for a laugh and a good joke.
If you like romance with heat, spunk and fire check me out!
Author Links
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/GemmaArlingtonAuthor/
Email
gemmaarlington@hotmail.com
Twitter
https://twitter.com/gemma_arlington
Amazon Author Page
https://www.amazon.com/Gemma-Arlington/e/B00S49TWF8
Other books by Gemma Arlington:
Amore Intimate Series
The Unexpected Wedding
Hello, Stranger
Stripped
Bachelor Weekend
Intimate Disasters
The Black Angel
Playtime Series
Ace
Hardcore
Euphoria
Secret Trilogy
Secret Heart
Secret Lies
Slayer Brothers Series
SMASH
UNHOLY TRINITY
REVENGE
Standalones
The Perfect Business Arrangement
Auction Series – Complete Collection
How About Never
LEELA LOU DAHLIN
HOW ABOUT NEVER
Copyright © 2019 by Leela Lou Dahlin
The right of Leela Lou Dahlin to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her under the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000
All rights reserved. This publication (or any part of it) may not be reproduced or transmitted, copied, stored, distributed or otherwise made available by any person or entity (including Google, Amazon or similar organisations), in any form (electronic, digital, optical or mechanical) or by any means (photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise) without prior written permission from the author.
This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.
Dedication
For everyone who’s been hurt in love.
Open your heart and try again.
CHAPTER ONE
TEMPEST
“I wish I could be more like you.”
Tempest Sure sat across from her best friend Ava listening to her cry into her Pina colada. “You want to be more like me? Bitchy and bossy?”
Ava’s eyes grew wide, and the smile that had been absent all night tried to make an appearance. “Are you making a joke?”
“Not my strong suit, I guess, but yes. Why would someone so sweet want to be like me?” Tempest thought about her question and then decided she shouldn’t ask it. Ava was sweet. Almost too much so, she could see how she would want to be more tough. “Nevermind.”
Tempest wished they were in a loud club with blaring music and strobe lights so she wouldn’t have to hear her best friend drowning in sorrow, but they weren’t. The pleasantly moderate jazz bar that was supposedly the hottest spot in town and was quiet enough for conversation. It would have been fun checking out some of the hot guys that walked by their table, but she was trying to concentrate on being a good friend.
“Look, Ava, you don’t need to be more like me. Then there would be two ice bitches in the area instead of one, and I don’t want to share my title.” Tempest leaned back in her chair so she could take in her friend.
Ava shook her head. “I know how people see you, and you do too, but I love that. You’re not an ice bitch. You’re a kick-ass-and-take-names, who-cares-what-people-think-about-me, get-shit-done chick.”
“You could do the same. You just need some fuck-it juice and when a guy tells you he’s a player… believe him.” Tempest felt sorry for her friend. Being the woman who had given the same speech to men she was crowning as lovers for the night, she knew how it felt to be the recipient of such anger and disappointment. She and Zane had been in the ultimate eye fuck contest before he went out with her friend.
“I just thought I could change him.” Ava looked away from Tempest and she was sure it was because she was remembering the way her friend had warned her away from Zane Calder. Birds of a feather that’s how she and Zane appeared, on the outside at least. She didn’t know his story, and she didn’t want to, but sometimes she’d just wanted to take a bite out of that delicious-looking man. Her friend’s desires had to come before that, so she may have continued to look but she’d never touch.
The man was beautiful, direct, and had a reputation of being a love ‘em and leave ‘em type. Tempest didn’t think that was a bad thing, especially since she was sure she had a similar rep. Was it true? Probably. Which is why she didn’t want her white-picket-fence, two point five children seeking friend to put herself out there. Ava said she could handle it. Tempest hadn’t believed it, but the woman was grown and could make her own decisions. Unfortunately, Tempest was right. Although her friend wasn’t crying into her drink, she looked so sad and lost it was breaking Tempest’s cold, love’s-not-real heart. She should have just stepped in and fucked him. It would have saved her friend this agony and relieved Tempest’s curiosity.
“Okay, I’m so bringing the whole vibe down into a sad place. Here we are in the exclusive Book Bar that you decorated, and I am only thinking of my bad choices. I will choose to be happy that you scored us entrance in this place and get my head out of the clouds.” Ava drank down the rest of her drink. “First, I need to get more fuck-it juice.”
“Okay, so fuck-it juice isn’t alcohol. It comes from within. I know that sounds corny. Don’t make me say it again. If you want to work on that do it when you’re sober.” Tempest got up and grabbed Ava’s glass. “Tonight is for reasonable alcoholic consumption and fun. Do you want another of these?”
“Why don’t you just wait for the waitress to come over?” Ava sat back and looked around. “Oh, I see.”
Tempest nodded her head. While Ava had been wallowing and telling Tempest about her last attempt to make Zane answer her calls, she hadn’t noticed how crowded the place had gotten.
“I’ve been looking for our waitress for the last 30 minutes. It will be quicker if I go to the bar I’m hoping.”
Tempest walked to the bar and remembered why she hated to come to crowded events like this. They made her anxious. No one would know by the resting bitch face people said she always wore, but sometimes her tough exterior masked her weakness. The people were polite and moved aside easily, but by the time she made it to her destination, she just wanted to go home.
The bartender made his way to her with a crooked smile. “What can I get for you, Ms. Sure.”
She’d met all the bartending staff as they were being hired and trained as she put the finishing touches on the interior decoration.
“Nice crowd, huh, Jeremy?” She looked at the full bar and returned to see him nodding. “I’ll have a pina colada and an extra dirty martini.”
“Extra dirty, huh?” The voice she heard behind her was unmistakable. It was deep, smooth like chocolate and rough like rawhide. Tempest knew she’d see when she turned around. Intelligent green eyes, hair too long for the standard business guy, just the right amount of scruff and sexy full lips that seemed to snag her gaze every time she saw him. She turned to face the man who created this beautiful establishment, the one she’d heard about all evening and the man who’d been showing up in her fantasies uninvited… Zane Calder.
“I would think you’d be well acquainted with that option.” She cocked her head and tried not to go into flirt mode. The man flipped her switch, for sure. Half of her wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. Have mercy, would she love that. He may be a jackass, but he was ruggedly beautiful, and the arm porn he presented to the world, with his shirt sleeves rolled up, made her wonder what he looked like under all of his clothes. The other half of her knew that her punishing of him would kill her friend and their friendship, so that thought needed to axed immediately.
“That’s exactly how I like it.” He moved closer to her, and she could smell his scent. What the fuck was that? A blend of citrus, outdoors, and Alpha male. It wasn’t possible to melt panties in real life, was it? That must just be her Kryptonite.
She said nothing to that because whatever spark that was moving between them needed to stop. She was done adding fuel.
“I love what you did with the place.” He looked around the room briefly before settling his gaze back to her.
Now that was just hitting below the belt. How was she supposed to downplay praise from the hardest to please arch
itect in town? He was not one to hold his words back about what he liked or what he didn’t like. Zane was opinionated but could back it up. His portfolio was as impressive as he was. There were several times he’d used his influence to get the interiors of his buildings changed to fit what he thought would work.
“Do you now?” Tempest leaned back with her elbows behind her on the bar. Did that make her full breasts jut out a bit? Yep, and although he didn’t outright gawk at her, the quick up-down appraisal didn’t escape her notice. It helped her think less of him. Maybe that would help her with this wild attraction. “Well, it was a pleasure to decorate. You did a great job incorporating nuances that made it easy to make this place look like a library and a bar.”
“I think a celebration is in order.” He lifted an eyebrow and grinned like a television villain. “I have the penthouse blocked for midnight. Meet me there.”
That shouldn’t have made her smile. Not just a quirk of her lips but a real, full-fledged smile. Fuck. This guy’s aura felt like trouble, and he smelled deliciously like danger. The very best kind of danger. “Celebration in the penthouse, huh? Sounds like a tryst.”
“It can be whatever you want it to be, but I was thinking about you looking at the room you designed as a patron instead of a creator.”
He was smooth. She’d give him that, and she should have expected no less. Zane didn’t crowd her, but the feel of being surrounded and protected was uncomfortably pleasant.
“You realize that I’m here with my friend, Ava.” Tempest was expecting him to back off quickly, but he didn’t. He looked thoughtful, and she wondered how he would try to explain himself if he did at all.