by Len Webster
Evan.
Evan Gilmore.
Her best friend.
It had been years of wrong and right between them.
But she still loved and cared for him all the same.
Alex turned her attention back to her best friend to find him smiling at her. She wondered if he ever thought of her while she was in Switzerland. Wondered if he ever missed her the way she had missed him. She wondered how his life had been. And she had to know. Before she entered her house, she had to know.
“Evan?”
That smile of his faded. “Yeah, AJ?”
She took a deep breath as nausea decided it would be a great time to resurface. She swallowed hard, hoping to keep the sickness at bay so she could ask. “Are you happy with your life?”
He stilled as fear and uncertainty darkened his brown eyes. “What?”
Alex reached over and unbuckled her belt so she could face him properly. “With your life right now, are you happy? With how it all happened and ended? Are you happy right now?”
Evan blinked at her. He stared at her for a moment before he said, “I’m happy right now.”
Her heart dropped, causing her chest to strain at its emptiness.
He’s happy.
And that alone was enough.
“I’m happy with how my life is at the moment.”
Alex smiled; although it hurt, she was happy for him. “Hey, do you have your spare key? I haven’t needed one for the house in over a year, and Dad isn’t home,” she said, changing the subject before her thoughts and her broken heart could do more damage.
“I do,” he confirmed as he unclicked his belt.
Alex bent down and picked up her purse before she opened the door and slid out of Evan’s BMW sedan. She made her way to the trunk to find that Evan had already opened it and pulled out her suitcase. He set it down and closed the trunk, taking in her childhood home with her.
“Crazy how it looks like it hasn’t changed, but you know it has,” Evan said. Then he pushed her suitcase toward her house.
He had no idea how right his words were.
How his words kept her by the curb staring and remembering all the memories in the house that hadn’t changed but those inside it had.
“AJ!”
She lifted her chin, not realizing that she had been staring at her stomach. Alex had changed. Her life had already changed. A baby wasn’t what she had planned before her Ph.D., but she was happy. Who knew where her life would be after seven years at MIT. Maybe she might miss her chance at motherhood, and this was it. And if this was her one and only chance, she was taking it because her life had changed for the better.
Alex smiled before she followed Evan up the path and climbed the short steps until she stood outside the front door. She watched as Evan pulled out his keys, then inserted her parents’ house key in the lock, twisted it, and nudged the door slightly open.
“You go in first. I’ve got your suitcase,” Evan encouraged.
She pressed her palm against the door and pushed it, swinging the door open. It was strange to see the house so dark. Normally, someone was home, and it never felt this cold. As Alex stepped inside, she was suddenly blinded by lights.
“Surprise!” rang in her ears as she flinched in shock.
Alex blinked and saw the faces of those she loved. Her friends and family surrounded her. Even some of her mother’s staff from the restaurant and bakery filled the hallway.
“Welcome home, Alexandra,” her father said before her.
She succumbed to her tears. It was all a trick, and it had worked. She was surprised. Alex smiled at those who had been in on the surprise as she made her way to her father—who stood by the staircase next to her grandparents.
Alex dropped her purse, walked over to her father, and wrapped her arms around him. He chuckled at her earnest embrace, but she couldn’t help it. She had missed him while she was in Switzerland. Missed his smiles and unconditional love. “I’ve missed you so much,” she whispered into his shoulder and then pulled back. She glanced to her right to see her grandmother and grandfather. “You guys flew out all this way?”
“Of course, sweetheart,” Grandma Louise said as she reached up and brushed her tears away. “We couldn’t miss you coming home.”
Stepping away from her father, she furrowed her brows. “Wait. Where’s Seb?”
“Right here,” her mother said.
She spun around to find her neighbors giving her mother room to enter the hallway. Alex made her way over to her mother who now stood next to Evan. When she reached them, her heart throbbed in her chest. For the first time in months, she felt love in her chest and not pain. “Hello, baby brother,” Alex cooed to avoid waking him. She looked up to see her mother’s eyes gleam with unshed tears. “Can I hold him?”
Carefully, her mother handed her the two-month-old. In Alex’s arms was the most beautiful baby boy she had ever seen. “Welcome home, my love. I’m sorry your dad tricked you. We wanted to surprise you,” her mother said and then kissed Alex’s temple.
“It’s okay. Thanks, Mum,” she said and glanced over at all the guests. “Thank you all so much for welcoming me home. I promise to thank you all in just a minute. I want to hold Seb for a little longer.”
“You all heard the woman of the hour,” Alex heard her uncle Julian shout. “Vamos! Into the kitchen! Let’s eat and drink and celebrate Little Parker coming home.”
“That’s not even French, Julian,” Aunt Stevie said before everyone dispersed from the hallway and into the living room and dining room, leaving Alex alone in the hallway with Evan.
“He’s so perfect,” she said in awe. “He’s grown up so much in two months.”
“He’s pretty incredible,” Evan agreed.
She softly brushed her brother’s fair hair back. “You are pretty incredible, Sebastian.”
“Hey, AJ?”
“Hmm?”
“Can I hold him?” His question had her blinking in surprise.
Her heart raced in her chest as she glanced up at him through her lashes. “Okay.”
Slowly, she placed Seb in Evan’s arms. She had expected Sebastian to cry or stir. Instead, he seemed to cuddle into Evan’s chest.
“Hey, little guy,” Evan whispered. “I think you’re almost as perfect as your sister, Seb.”
And right at that moment, her heart damn near exploded at the sight of Evan Gilmore gently rocking the two-month-old she loved so much.
Tears consumed her.
Tears fell.
When she felt her phone vibrate, she brushed her tears away and reached into her jacket pocket. She pulled out her phone and unlocked it to find a new message.
Landon: Welcome home, Massachusetts.
Her chest tightened.
It had been months since she last saw him in the UK.
Since he surprised her when she had accompanied Dr. Rodahawe and Brandon at their seminar at Oxford University in England.
Alex: Thank you.
Nerves had her nauseous all over again as she typed once more.
Alex: Landon, we really need to talk.
79 Au
gold
ALEX
Sophomore year of college
The vibrating of her phone on the wooden library table she sat at with her roommate had Alex clenching her jaw. The last thing she needed was more distraction. She needed to stay focused. Though most of her papers and reports were done, she still had a few to work on before she started preparing for her finals. She did not need any more setbacks. Unlike today’s visit to the campus clinic, which was a necessity. She couldn’t trust her ex-boyfriend. If he couldn’t remember if he had sex with someone else, she couldn’t trust him to remember to have used contraception either. When she left Landon’s apartment, she had gone straight to her dorm room
, showered long past the time her fingers had pruned, and then sat on her bed with a towel wrapped around her, thinking about how stupid she had been. Savannah had woken up and asked her what happened, and Alex—in disbelief—told her what her ex-boyfriend had done.
Landon had slept with someone else.
They were over at the time, but Alex was still grieving them. Was still loving him. She couldn’t even kiss Evan Gilmore without guilt because she still loved Landon. But loving him couldn’t excuse him. They almost had sex after he had slept with someone else without protection. The love she had for him twisted. The trust she held so tightly broke. She had always believed he would be honest with her, but she was wrong. They might have been over, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt her. How could he sleep with someone so soon after they had ended?
Because you’re not right for him. He said so himself, her thoughts yelled.
You went to Boston to find yourself, her heart assured.
You found Evan again, her soul reminded.
It didn’t matter that Landon slept with someone else. What mattered was he didn’t tell her and risked exposing her to an STD. That alone was not love. The Landon she fell in love with would have never done that to her. The Landon who lied to her was not the man she kissed for the first time under the blue and white confetti. But the man who risked her health had her going to the clinic, not trusting his empty promises. It was risky to be seen getting tested. Anyone who recognized her could sell pictures and make some quick and dirty money. But even with the media distracted by Kyle and Angie, Alex couldn’t risk having the spotlight back on her.
“That’s like the twentieth time he’s called since we got to the library,” Savannah said, lifting her head from the management and communications textbook she’d been studying. Her blue eyes glanced from the phone to Alex.
Alex sighed. “He called nonstop during lab. I felt bad for Mika. Each time he tried to go over our experiment, Landon’s calls would interrupt him.”
“He won’t stop, will he?”
“No,” Alex said with a shake of her head. “I don’t think he will. He hasn’t stopped calling since I walked out of his apartment yesterday.”
Savannah’s lips pressed into a tight line. “And you don’t want to talk to him?”
“No … Yes? I seriously don’t know. I wish I was angrier. I wish I yelled louder and hurt him, but I just couldn’t do it. I wanted to, but … I was just tired. Tired of being disappointed and hurt by someone I love. Someone I never thought could do that to me. I thought he loved me. His messages while I was gone make me question whether it was love or guilt that had him texting me. He slept with someone else … or he didn’t. I don’t know what or who to believe anymore. Landon says one thing, and his roommate says another. Why would Chase lie?”
Savannah bit her lip. Then she released it and shook her head. “Chase has no reason to lie.”
“Exactly. Even if Landon didn’t sleep with her, he brought her to the bed we’ve been together in. I was miserable in Massachusetts when he was here getting drunk and taking other girls home.” Alex closed her laptop and frowned at her best friend. “Landon broke my heart and trust, Sav, and I hate that I still love him. Even with everything he’s done, I still love him.”
Suddenly, a throat clearing had Alex and Savannah craning their necks to find a blonde with hesitation and fear on her beautiful face. “Excuse me?” the stranger interrupted.
“Yeah?” Savannah said, eyes roaming up and down the blonde wearing a Duke basketball sweatshirt.
“I’m Kelly.”
Alex blinked at her, confused. “Uh, hi, Kelly. What can we do for you?”
Kelly chewed her lip. “You’re Alex Parker, right?”
“Yeah, she’s Alex Parker. Why are you asking?” Savannah asked, who now glared at Kelly.
Guilt consumed Kelly’s face as her eyes gleamed over, almost as if she were about to cry. “I’m so sorry, Alex. I had no idea. I am so sorry. I was tipsy, and I went home with him. But I swear, we didn’t have sex.”
Oh, God.
Bile rose up her throat.
This was the woman Landon took home while she was in Boston.
“I’m not that girl,” Kelly insisted. “I went home with him, and I forgot all sense. But I swear, we didn’t have sex. Landon called me and told me what happened. I promise, we didn’t have sex. He told me how much he loves you. You can be together. I’ll get tested and show—”
“No need,” Alex said, stopping her. “Look, Kelly, you seem nice, but you hooked up and went home with my ex-boyfriend days after we broke up. Sure, I’m hurt and angry, but I don’t have a right to be because Landon and I were over. So if you’re attracted to him, he’s all yours. I appreciate your explanation, but I didn’t need one. I’m never getting back together with Landon.”
I’m never going back to Landon.
Alex felt the finality in her words. She was never going back to him. Landon Carmichael might have been the perfect boyfriend, but it didn’t excuse his actions. Because it wasn’t just him taking another girl home. It wasn’t just him not being honest with her when it came to them almost having unprotected sex.
When it came down to it, they just weren’t right for each other anymore. Their dreams differed. He would go on to play NBA, and she’d go to MIT. She was never going back to Landon Carmichael. And though she was happy with her decision, it did make her sad. He was her first boyfriend. She would never forget how good it was when she was his … until it all ended.
A small smile tugged at Kelly’s lips as relief flashed in her blue eyes. “Thanks, Alex. I feel so guilty that I had to find you and clear that up. Landon’s worried—”
“Stop,” Alex ordered. “You don’t have to worry about Landon and me. Like I said, we’re over. Landon is free to date whomever he wants.” Because I’m not his sure thing anymore. What Walt said last night resurfaced in her memory. Alex clenched her jaw. No, she was sure Landon loved her. He tried, but it wasn’t enough for them to work. “If it’s okay with you, my roommate and I would like to get back to studying.”
Kelly took a step back. “Of course. I’m so sorry. I’ll let you get back to your studying. And again, I’m so sorry about Landon, Alex.” And with that, the woman Landon had taken home last week left the library with Alex staring at her back as she walked away.
“Wow,” Savannah breathed, catching Alex’s attention. “You have to admit, the girl had some guilt on her face. You were amazing. She didn’t deserve your kindness. You were the bigger person, and I’m proud.”
Alex lifted her laptop screen, ready to concentrate on her paper rather than her ex-boyfriend and his hookup. “I appreciate that, but she didn’t do anything wrong. Neither did Landon until he was dishonest with me. Because of his actions, I had to get an STD test this morning. Now, you need to concentrate on studying. Management and communications is the class you struggle with the most.”
Savannah rolled her eyes. “But after this study session, you are buying me ice cream to cheer me up before my shift.”
“Sure,” she said with a laugh before she picked up her cell phone, ignored all her missed calls and unopened text messages, and switched it off, ready to focus on her paper rather than her persistent ex-boyfriend.
Humming along to the song playing through her earbuds, Alex kicked her dorm room door closed behind her, walked over to her bed, and dropped her backpack on the mattress. Alex pulled her earbuds out, unplugged them from her phone, and set her phone on her bed. After she had finished studying with Savannah and treated her to ice cream, Alex went to the gym and ran on the treadmill, hoping it would clear her mind of Landon. It didn’t work, and the music on her playlist caused her to miss him. So she listened to a few science podcasts for almost ten miles before she slowed down to a walking pace and changed over to some music.
Reaching up, she grasped the tie ar
ound her hair and slowly pulled it out, freeing her brunette locks. She was about to get ready to shower when her phone rang. Alex glanced down, saw Evan’s name, and a small smile tugged at her lips. She picked up her phone and answered his call.
“Hey,” she said as she sat down on her bed. She hadn’t spoken to Evan since before her dinner with Landon yesterday. He wished her luck before his flight back to California, and she told him she’d call him in the morning. It was almost six p.m., and she had prolonged her call to him all day, but she was glad he had called instead.
“Hey, AJ. Are you all right?”
She let out a breath of air. “Yeah, I was just at the gym. Had to run off my worries.”
“Why? Is everything okay?” The concern was thick in his voice, causing her heart to stretch in her chest.
“Yeah,” she assured as she shuffled back until her back pressed against the cold concrete wall. “I haven’t had the easiest twenty-four hours.”
“Want to talk about it?” he asked with a softness in his voice she missed.
Alex ran a hand through her hair, deciding that she had to be honest with her best friend. “I broke up with Landon … for good this time. During dinner, it was like nothing happened. I realized all the things I loved about him, and it was so easy to pick him … I did pick him. I thought that’s what I wanted. I thought he was who I wanted …”
“Oh,” Evan breathed before he cleared his throat. He was silent for a moment. “That’s okay. I promised I’d be your best friend even if you picked him. I’m okay as long as you’re happy.”
“I’m not happy,” she confessed.
“You’re not?” The hint of relief and surprise in his tone had her smiling.
