The Dissolution of Unrequited (The Science of Unrequited Book 4)

by Len Webster

  Alex let go of her suitcase and stepped forward, pressing her palms to his neck. She felt him flinch at her touch. “I don’t want Zürich, Evan,” she cried.

  “AJ—”

  She shook her head at him, her tears slipping down her face. “I don’t, okay? Sure, a part of me wants to, but my entire heart wants Massachusetts with you.”

  He froze, hesitation written all over his face. Evan reached up and wrapped his fingers around her wrist, pulling her hands from him. “You have a flight to catch. You should go.”

  Alex’s eyes widened. He had never been so cold to her during their entire romantic relationship. He must have sensed her anxiety as he captured her cheeks in his palms. Then he wiped her tears away. But his touch felt so foreign and unsure. His eyes softened but not with the love. It was still sadness she saw, and it made her chest tighten.

  “Do you want to come downstairs? We should talk.”

  Evan pressed his lips into a very fake smile. “You’ll miss your flight. Go. Call me when you land. I just need some time. We’ll talk when you’re back in North Carolina,” he promised. Then he dipped his head, and his lips met hers.

  His kiss was as cold as the way he acted toward her.

  She tasted it.

  His lips tasted of his heartbreak and disappointment.

  And when he pulled away, she saw the anguish in his eyes. “Have a safe flight, AJ.” He attempted another smile, and whispered, “I love you.”

  She believed him.

  But she also believed the heartbreak on his face.

  Holding back another set of tears, she said, “I love you, too. I’ll call you when I land.”

  Somehow, over two years ago, she had gotten it all so wrong between them.

  Now, she wished she had never sent that application.

  Her triumph had become her downfall.

  Foreshadowed the possible end of her relationship with Evan Gilmore.

  92U

  uranium

  ALEX

  Now

  Alex stared at her reflection in the mirror. She still looked the same. All the baggy clothes she wore hid her bump. She knew she’d only get bigger but was thankful that she was barely showing. Dressing for her date with her ex-boyfriend was hard to do. All the dresses she had in her closet were tight and definitely showed her pregnancy. But she had one emerald dress that flared at her hips, hiding her small bump. The long sleeves would keep her warm from the cold temperature. Paired with some black stockings and boots, she was sure it was dressy enough. All Alex could do was pray that Evan wasn’t taking them anywhere fancy. Pressing her palms under the curve of her stomach, she turned slightly to see the small bump. At nine weeks, their baby was about an inch long. It was crazy to see the changes in her body, knowing how small her baby was.

  Yesterday, Evan had helped her take care of her baby brother. She had also learned that when her mother and father needed someone to look after Seb, Evan was always close by to offer a hand. He knew exactly how to care for Alex’s brother. She stood in awe as she watched him change Seb’s diaper, feed him, burp him, and rock him. None of her pregnancy books warned her about how emotional it would be to watch the father of her child take care of a baby. Evan had thought he had upset her by knowing so much, but he hadn’t. He only made her aware of what a wonderful father he would be.

  He had stayed until her parents came home and even helped make dinner, but Alex had only eaten a couple of bites. She couldn’t stomach food, and by the end of their meal, she was tired. She had blamed it on her jet lag, but she knew she could only use that excuse for a couple more days. If her mother and father weren’t so consumed with her baby brother, they might have been more aware of her symptoms. Tonight at dinner, they would discuss their future and how they would raise their child together. Evan had come back for her, but she knew he had responsibilities. He would have to return to LA soon.

  A knock on her door had Alex dropping her hands from her stomach and turning so she looked back at the mirror. She brushed her brunette curls behind her ear, checked over her makeup, and nodded at her reflection.

  “Come in,” she called out, brushing her palms over the bottom of her dress. She glanced over her shoulder to find her mother stepping into her bedroom.

  “You look lovely, Alexandra.”

  “Thanks, Mum,” she said, turning to face her. “Seb down for the night?”

  Her mother walked over to Alex’s bed and nodded. “Your father’s reading him a story.”

  Alex stepped away from the mirror, pulled on her dress’s hem, and headed to her desk. She picked up her silver atom necklace and stared at it. It meant so much to her. She had kept it long after Evan had left Zürich. At night, she would wrap a hand around it and think of him, think of them. And when she found out she was pregnant, she did the very same, but this time, her other palm pressed against her stomach. She thought of him with their child constantly. When she wasn’t at the institute, he was all she had thought about for months. Pushing away the past and concentrating on the present, Alex clasped the necklace Evan Gilmore had given her and let the silver atom pendant rest against her chest.

  “You’re nervous,” her mother pointed out.

  “Yeah,” Alex admitted in a small voice as she walked across her room and sat on her bed next to her mother. “It shows, huh?”

  Her mother nodded. “It does. You keep fiddling with the hem of your dress.” She reached over and grasped Alex’s hand. “I’m sorry, Alexandra.”

  Her brows met with confusion. “What? Mum, why are you sorry?”

  “Because you’ve been home for a while now, and we’ve barely spent any time together. You were away for over a year in Zürich, and you’re finally home. Between Sebastian, the restaurant, and the bakery, I feel like I haven’t given you enough time … or love.”

  Alex smiled, shaking her head at her mother. “Mum, stop. It’s okay. You have your hands full. You gave birth two months ago. Before Seb, the last time you had to change a diaper was over twenty years ago. Don’t apologize. I didn’t give you all enough time to adjust to me coming home.”

  “Actually,” her mother said as she squeezed her hand. “I’ve been expecting you home every day since you left after Sebastian’s birth. I didn’t think you’d stay in Zürich for those three years, my love.”

  “You didn’t?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  “How did you know that?”

  “Because I wouldn’t have been able to spend three years away from your father. Career or not, I knew you’d stay a little longer to finish your formula but not permanently. You love Evan too much.”

  “I do love him too much,” Alex admitted. “He’s kind of the reason I’m looking at an apartment in Los Angeles.”

  Her mother frowned. “Oh?”

  She nodded. “Yeah.”

  “And MIT …?”

  Alex removed her hand from her mother and shook her head. She couldn’t tell her mother the truth just yet. That she and Evan were expecting a child together. She didn’t want to get her mother’s hopes up at the thought they could truly be a family. Tonight was just dinner. Alex had to prepare herself in case it didn’t end the way she truly hoped it would.

  “For six months, I lived a life without him. I have never known what being at MIT has felt like, and I survived, but I’m barely breathing without him. I was alone, and I couldn’t stop hurting in Switzerland. I know that going to LA is going to disappoint you and Dad, but I want to go. I want a life with him. I want to be his again. I can’t wake up alone again and wonder if he’s met someone. Someone who is completely uncomplicated and gives him what I can’t. MIT is worth nothing to me if I lose him for good. He’s the love of my life, Mum. He’s my soul mate. And if I never go to MIT, I’m content with that. I’ll be happy with my life because I am going to get my Ph.D., and I don’t
need MIT to get it.”

  Her mother cupped Alex’s cheeks in her hands, staring at her in awe. “They always said you were like your father, and they weren’t wrong. You not only have his eyes, but you also have his heart. You’re not disappointing me or him, Alexandra. We’re so incredibly proud of you. We’ve only ever wanted you to be happy. I have always wanted you to be happy. That’s why I came in to see you before your date. You haven’t been yourself since your meeting with Landon … well, since you got home.”

  The mention of her ex-boyfriend had her wanting to wrap her arms around her stomach, protecting herself and her baby, but she couldn’t because her mother would know. Alex had been lucky enough to keep it a secret for as long as she had. She just needed to last a little bit longer. Landon wasn’t a topic she particularly wanted to discuss, but if anyone understood why she saw him, her mother would. She had the moment she came home after the articles about Alex and Landon went live and Evan had left.

  “It’s just been a little harder to adjust to life back home. I’ll be my old self soon.”

  “Do you want to talk about what happened with Evan? I know he was hurt.”

  Tears stung at Alex’s eyes. “He was. He was so upset. I should have been honest about seeing Landon. I regret that part, but I am glad I saw him. It was the end for us. I felt it.” The tension eased in her chest, knowing how true her statement was. “Mum, can I ask you something?”

  Her mother dropped her hands from Alex’s face. “You can ask me anything.”

  A smile touched her lips. “Mum, is Liam happy?”

  Her mother’s eyes shone with unshed tears at the mention of her ex-fiancé. Then she nodded. “He’s happy. It took him a while to find her, but when he did, he said it felt right. She makes him so happy.”

  Tears rolled down Alex’s cheeks. “So Landon’s going to find someone, too?”

  “I have no doubt in my heart that he will. If Liam, who was so stubborn, can, then so can Landon. You don’t have to worry about Landon anymore, Alexandra.”

  Alex felt a weight lifted from her as she broke into sudden tears.

  Her mother was right.

  I don’t have to worry about Landon anymore.

  “Thank you, Mum.”

  Her mother wrapped her arms tightly around Alex. “I know you’ve felt so guilty about seeing him,” she said as she pulled away, “but you don’t have to anymore. You can love Evan and never question your love for him. You let Landon go, my love. It’s time you take what you have always wanted and deserved.” She cupped Alex’s jaw and pressed a kiss on her forehead. Then she smiled at her. “Don’t ever feel as if you didn’t love him right. You did. You owe him nothing and owe yourself your own happiness now.”

  “Thank you, Mum. Really. Thank you,” Alex said with a small smile. “I’m gonna finish getting ready.”

  “Okay,” her mother said before she dropped her hands from Alex’s face and got up from the bed. Then her mother made her way to the bedroom door. Alex watched her pause at the door and turn to face her. “Alexandra?”

  “Yeah, Mum?”

  She pressed her lips into a soft smile. She had opened her mouth to say something but closed it quickly. Then she drew in a short breath before saying, “Don’t forget a coat. It’s snowing out there.”

  “I won’t,” Alex promised.

  “And Alexandra?”

  “Yes, Mum?”

  Emotion swept her mother’s light brown eyes. “I’m so proud of the woman you are. I love you so much.”

  Her heart swelled at her mother’s pride and love. “I love you, too, Mum.”

  Seb had fallen back to sleep before the knock on the front echoed in the house. Alex glanced up at the clock on the wall and saw that Evan was right on time.

  “I’ll get it,” her mother said, and Alex returned her focus to the little boy in her arms.

  Her father had shown her just how Seb liked to be held and rocked. She was much better with him today than she was yesterday when all he did was cry. But as she took in her baby brother, she knew that all his cries were worth it. She didn’t even care that this was the first time he had ever let her rock him to sleep. In fact, she treasured this moment.

  “It’s crazy how much I love you,” she whispered to her baby brother.

  “Alexandra, Evan’s here,” her mother announced as she lifted her chin to find her ex-boyfriend with wide eyes, staring at her.

  “Hey,” she said in a low voice, not wanting to wake Seb. “Evan?”

  The muscles in his throat worked as he swallowed hard. Then he pressed his lips together and nodded. “Yeah. Are you ready to go?”

  She nodded. “Give me a second. I’ll just put him in his crib.”

  “That’s all right. I’ve got him,” her father said as he got up from the armchair and stood in front of her to take Seb in his arms.

  When Alex was sure that her brother was safely in her father’s arms, she got up from the couch and brushed her hair behind her ear. “Thanks, Dad.” Then she faced Evan. “My coat and purse are in the hallway.” On her way out of the living room, she kissed her mother and father on the cheek and followed Evan toward the coat hook on the wall.

  She watched as he took her blue coat from the hook and held it out for her. Smiling, she spun around and threaded her arms through her coat as Evan helped her into it. Just as the thick coat settled on her shoulders, her parents stepped into the hallway. She wasn’t sure why they appeared so nervous. They had seen her and Evan together before. They had been a couple for over three years. But she understood the anxiety. This was their first date since they had broken up. It was the first time they would really spend time alone together since the night before she left for Zürich after her brother’s birth.

  “Evan,” her father said as Alex buttoned up her coat, causing her to flinch.

  “Yes, Mr. Parker?”

  Her father glanced over at her mother and then back at Evan. “You’re no longer my daughter’s boyfriend.”

  Evan tensed next to her as her heart dipped. The truth in her father’s words was like a hot iron rod through her chest and uncomfortable heat consumed her.

  He wasn’t her boyfriend.

  Not anymore.

  He hadn’t been for six months.

  This date was the decider.

  “Dad,” Alex said, hoping he understood the warning tone in her voice. The last thing she and Evan needed was pressure from her parents.

  “No, AJ, it’s okay.” Evan took a step forward, grasped her purse from the hallway table and handed it to her. “I know I’m not your daughter’s boyfriend, Mr. Parker, but I haven’t stopped caring about her. I’ll never stop. That’s not a promise.” He glanced over at her and smiled. “It’s a commitment I first made when she made me hers.”

  “All right, Nolan,” her mother said, humor layered her voice. “You two have a good night.”

  Alex turned away from Evan’s promising brown eyes and nodded at her mother. “Good night,” she said as she spun around. She led Evan away from the table and to the front door. She twisted the handle and pulled the door open.

  Once she stepped outside, she shivered at the frosty night. She heard Evan join her on the porch before the door closed. He was by her side in seconds as she stared at his car parked on the curb rather than in his driveway.

  “Evan?”

  “Yeah, AJ?”

  She tore her gaze from his BMW and focused on him under the porch light. “We’re not going anywhere fancy, are we?”

  His brows furrowed in confusion. “Why?”

  “I’m not really dressed for fancy,” she answered with a hint of embarrassment in her voice.

  A smile graced his lips as he reached down and grasped her hand with his. “I know you, AJ. Fancy isn’t you. There’s somewhere I need to take you before we go to dinner.”

>   She tilted her head at him. “There is?”

  He nodded. “It’s not too far away. Trust me?”

  “Always, Evan,” she said in a soft voice.

  Because she did.

  She trusted him even when she knew there was a chance it could all end in flames for them.

  Fifteen minutes of driving through the light snow later, Alex found herself standing in front of MIT’s Great Dome. Evan had surprised her. After begging that he tell her where he was taking her, she would have never guessed the college she had been accepted into for her Ph.D. would be where they currently stood. The last time she stood in this very spot was back in her sophomore year of college. Evan had made a pit stop during their drive back to Duke and took her to MIT to remind her of her dreams. It seemed as if he was doing the very same.

  She was supposed to start her Ph.D. in September. She was also due in September, making it almost impossible for her to do her Ph.D. That, and she had already promised herself, Evan, and their baby that she’d move to LA. It was the only way they could be a family. And it wasn’t as if Caltech wasn’t a great school. It was. At the end of the day, MIT was just another American college. And that was what she told herself when she thought about not attending.

  “Alexandra?”

  She didn’t take her eyes from the Great Dome. Those conflicting emotions had rendered her speechless. For her whole life, MIT had been her dream, yet she had said goodbye to it so many times. And when she finally got accepted, she had to say goodbye for good.

  “I want you to have this,” Evan said.

  That had her swinging her gaze to find him staring at her. “Have what?”

  Her ex-boyfriend inhaled a deep breath and expelled it seconds later. “I want you to have MIT.”

  Alex shook her head. “I already told you, Evan. I can make LA happen. I’ll move.”

  “AJ,” he whispered as he collected her hands and turned her. “I want you to have MIT. I can provide for you and our baby. You’ve already sacrificed MIT so many times for me. For us. It’s time you have your Ph.D. at the school you’ve always wanted. You got in, AJ. I want this for you. I’ve always wanted this for you.”