by Laura Martin
Annabelle wanted to tell him how uncomfortable she felt, how much she wished they could just leave and never have to see the prickly Lady Wilstow again, but instead she forced a smile and reassured him. ‘Everything is fine,’ she whispered, feeling completely off balance by the evening so far.
Taking a deep, steadying breath, she focused again on Lady Wilstow, redoubling her effort to be the perfect guest, the perfect illusion of the perfect wife. She didn’t want all of society talking about her, partly for her sake, but also for Leo’s. He shouldn’t have to be embarrassed by his choice of wife, so it was her duty to be as normal as possible, to not let on this was her first social experience outside either of their families.
‘Dinner is ready, my lady,’ a footman said, leaning down to speak quietly into Lady Wilstow’s ear.
‘You’re just in time,’ she addressed her husband and Leo. ‘Shall we go through to dinner?’
The dining room was just as beautifully decorated as the drawing room, the dark wood furniture complementing the wood-panelled walls and a table that could easily seat thirty. Their places were set at one end, with Lord Wilstow taking the seat at the head of the table with Annabelle to his right and Leo to his left. Lady Wilstow took the seat next to Leo’s.
‘How are you finding the cottage?’ Lord Wilstow asked as they settled into their seats and a delicate salmon and beetroot dish was placed in front of them.
‘The setting is wonderful, thank you for the use of it.’
‘I know it’s small, but perfect for a honeymoon, eh? Last thing you want is servants fussing around you, disturbing the intimacy.’
Leo murmured in agreement and Annabelle felt her cheeks flush and looked up to see Lady Wilstow’s eyes on her, curious and probing.
‘That’s what I always wished we’d done for our honeymoon, something cosy and private. Instead we stayed in this huge hotel in Brighton. There was no peace, we hardly had any time just for us.’ Lord Wilstow winked at his wife who steadfastly ignored him, spearing her fish with her fork and lifting it to her lips.
‘I hear you’re from the seaside, born and bred, Lady Annabelle. How does my beloved Dorset compare to your Sussex?’
‘It is beautiful, Lord Wilstow. I love my home—’ she faltered, catching herself as she remembered Birling View was no longer her home ‘—where I grew up. There is something striking about the South Downs, about the white cliffs and the rolling green hills that back them...’ She paused and smiled at her host shyly. ‘I didn’t expect to like Dorset as much as home, but there is something dramatic and striking about it in a completely different way to Sussex.’
‘Well said, Lady Annabelle. You grew up just outside Eastbourne, did you not?’
‘Yes, on the cliffs between Eastbourne and Seaford.’
Out of the corner of her eye Annabelle saw Lady Wilstow lean in to Leo and place her hand on the table next to his, just so her fingers brushed against his.
‘My husband could talk about the coast for hours.’
Leo glanced down at her fingers aligned with his own and after a moment moved his hand away abruptly.
‘It’s not only the views, although they are spectacular from here all the way down to Lyme Regis, but for the past few hundred years they have been digging all manner of creatures from the rocks. The big museums think they are the preserved bones of creatures from thousands of years ago.’
Across the table Lady Wilstow let out a soft but still audible sigh.
‘My darling wife thinks I’m quite mad, of course, but I think there’s nothing more thrilling than getting down among the rocks, having a good old look at what can be dug out. So far I’ve only found fragments, but one day I hope to find something completely intact.’
‘You always were fascinated in natural history, Wilstow.’ Leo smiled. ‘I visited the area when I was a boy and I can remember finding a few fossils then.’
‘The richest pickings are further down the coast, near Lyme Regis and Charmouth, but I have found a few little bits and pieces, the odd witch’s finger or snakestone, right here on the beach in Kimmeridge Bay.’
‘We’ll have to keep our eyes open.’
‘I’ll show you my collection later, so you know what to look for.’
‘Enough about your rocks, my dear,’ Lady Wilstow interjected abruptly. ‘You forget that our guests are newly married. I would personally love to hear about the proposal and the wedding.’
Lady Wilstow looked expectantly from Leo to Annabelle as Annabelle pushed her beetroot around her plate. She knew if Leo told their hosts now it was purely a marriage of convenience with no emotion involved in the proposal or wedding, then she would be known for ever as the wife he didn’t care for. It might be the truth, although she knew he had softened towards her the last few weeks, but she felt a hot flush of shame at the thought of everyone knowing she had only been chosen because Leo thought her expectations of married life would be low.
‘I’ve known Lady Annabelle’s family for a long time,’ Leo said slowly and Annabelle felt some of the tension seep from her as he caught her eye and gave her the quickest of winks. ‘But when my brother married her sister we renewed our acquaintance.’ He smiled and shrugged, ‘We realised we suited each other very well, very well indeed, so I asked Lady Annabelle to marry me.’
‘Was it terribly romantic, Lady Annabelle? They say the quiet ones are often the most romantic.’
‘Don’t bombard the poor girl, Letty,’ Lord Wilstow said, shaking his head in apology.
‘Every woman loves talking about her engagement, Wilstow,’ Lady Wilstow said, a hint of contempt in her voice. ‘So tell me, Lady Annabelle, how did he propose?’
Annabelle considered for a moment, then returned the false, sickly sweet smile her hostess was bestowing on her. ‘It was more romantic than you can ever imagine. Picture a pretty cottage garden, filled with summer flowers, a sea breeze rippling through the air. We strolled arm in arm for a while and then my darling husband led me to a bench and outlined all the reasons we should be together, all the reasons we couldn’t live without one another.’
Across the table Leo choked on his beetroot, taking a gulp of water to wash it down. Lady Wilstow was regarding Annabelle suspiciously, her eyes flicking between Leo and Annabelle as if she wanted to challenge them, but knowing it would be too rude even for her.
‘You look surprised, Mr Ashburton, surely you remember your own proposal?’
There was a long pause and Annabelle wondered if Leo was going to expose her as a liar.
‘Of course, I just didn’t realise my wife remembered all the details. We were so excited, you understand.’ He delivered the comment in a voice that hinted at none of the emotion he spoke of, but it was enough to shut Lady Wilstow down.
‘And the wedding?’
‘An intimate affair. Just our close families and a couple of friends. Wilbersmythe was there—you remember Wilbersmythe from Cambridge?’ He addressed his friend and Annabelle breathed a sigh of relief as the two men took over the conversation, reminiscing about friends and acquaintances from their university days. It allowed her to enjoy the main meal in relative peace, although she felt Lady Wilstow’s eyes on her every so often, assessing and judging, trying to work out how Annabelle had ended up married to a man like Leo.
You are the daughter of an earl, she told herself. She had every right to be here, every right to marry Leo. A few scars and a slightly awkward social manner didn’t detract from the fact this was the life she had been born into, even if she hadn’t been raised for it. She just needed to keep reminding herself of the fact.
‘Shall we retire to the drawing room?’ Lady Wilstow asked as the footmen whisked the empty dessert plates away. ‘Leave the men to their brandy.’
Knowing the evening was almost over, Annabelle inclined her head graciously and followed her hostess from the room. As she rounded the
table Leo reached out and took her hand.
‘I won’t be long,’ he murmured and for an instant Annabelle believed the lies she had told earlier in the evening about what she and Leo meant to one another.
‘I’m surprised Mr Ashburton has agreed to brandy,’ Lady Wilstow said as they settled once again in the calming cream and gold room. ‘When we were on honeymoon Lord Wilstow barely let me leave the bedroom.’ She chuckled, but there was little mirth in the sound and Annabelle wondered why she resented her husband so. It was apparent in the little gestures, the annoyed looks. It would be easy to think that Lady Wilstow was just unpleasant and would dislike anyone, and her husband seemed on the surface completely the opposite. In addition, Leo seemed to be a good judge of character and he liked this man, but she was aware no one knew what went on behind closed doors in a marriage.
‘We have all the time in the world,’ Annabelle said, surreptitiously checking the clock. It was just beginning to get dark outside, the sunset late in the evening at this point in the summer. She wished they were sitting on the little bench in the cottage garden, enjoying the sunset together, rather than here making small talk with the Wilstows.
‘Will your main residence be in Kent? I know Mr Ashburton has the house in London...’ Lady Wilstow sipped at the strong coffee a maid had brought in soon after they sat down.
‘I’m not sure what our plans are yet.’
‘You haven’t had a Season in London before, have you? I’d remember.’
Lady Wilstow’s eyes flicked to Annabelle’s scars and she had to grip the handle of the coffee cup hard to stop her trying to cover them.
‘No.’
‘But your sister did. That is how she met the other Mr Ashburton.’
‘Yes.’
‘Is there a reason you didn’t accompany her for the Season? You must be of age, otherwise you wouldn’t be married to Mr Ashburton...’
There had been so many reasons she hadn’t spent the last few months of the previous Season in London with her sister. Mainly, though, it hadn’t even been a consideration. Annabelle didn’t leave the estate. Therefore her mother had never even considered taking her to London.
If only you could see me now, Beth, she thought, smiling to herself. Beth had always urged her to go out, to join her at one of the local dances or dinner parties. She’d worried Annabelle was shutting herself away, denying herself a future. In the few short months since Beth had left Annabelle had said goodbye to her beloved family home, got married and now was socialising, pretending she had been doing this all her life.
‘If I’m honest, I prefer country life. A Season in London never appealed.’
‘That will have to change now. Unless you plan to live separately from your husband, of course.’
‘As I said we haven’t finalised the details.’
‘Some men do prefer it that way. The obedient wife at home, looking after the house and children, then the men are free to do what they like with whomever they like while they are in London.’
Annabelle tried not to react. The thought of Leo keeping a mistress in London made her feel sick. She knew he didn’t have one at present, but despite their wedding vows she wasn’t going to be the one keeping him warm at night. It wasn’t unfeasible that he would search out a mistress when he returned to London.
It shouldn’t matter, but Annabelle realised with a jolt that it did. She might have gone into this marriage knowing it was a convenient way for them both to get what they wanted, but that wasn’t all it was now. She was starting to care for her husband, to want to share her life with him, not live completely separately. Annabelle acknowledged, too, the attraction she felt for Leo, even though nothing would ever come of it.
She was saved from having to say anything more to the odious Lady Wilstow by Leo reappearing in the doorway.
‘Are you happy to head back to the cottage?’
She tried to hide some of her enthusiasm, but sprang from her seat with such vigour she knew it would appear rude.
‘Wilstow has described a shortcut through the woods. If you fancy a stroll back to the cottage, it should be no more than half an hour. I thought we could go while there was still a little light. Just say if you would prefer the carriage.’
‘A walk sounds just perfect.’
‘Good. Then we must take our leave, Lady Wilstow. Thank you for your hospitality.’ He turned to his friend and shook his hand, Wilstow clapping him on the back.
‘Enjoy your honeymoon and I’ll see you in London in a couple of months.’
Chapter Sixteen
Dear Josh,
What is it about walking through the woods on a moonlit night?
The sky was a wonderful palette of pinks and reds, holding on to the last of the light of the setting sun. The moon was already out—a pale yellow circle that looked almost full.
‘Did you have a nice evening?’ Annabelle asked as she slipped her hand through his arm.
‘It was good to see Wilstow again. How about you? Was it as bad as you imagined?’ He watched her as she screwed up her face while formulating her reply.
‘Lady Wilstow was a little...confrontational. She clearly couldn’t see why you would marry me when by her account you had women falling over each other to impress you in London.’
Leo scoffed and shook his head. ‘I would hardly say they were falling over themselves.’ Annabelle looked at him with interest in her eyes, so he continued. ‘I suppose I was considered a good catch by the matriarchs of society, I received all the coveted invitations, had mothers pushing their daughters at me, but you know my reputation. I’m seen as cold, aloof. The young women themselves often didn’t want to spend more than a minute or two in my company before one of us was making an excuse to get away.’
‘You’re not cold.’
‘I am aware of my personality faults.’ He shrugged. He knew it was inevitable after the way he had been raised. ‘Have you ever met my great-aunt, the woman who raised me, Miss Culpepper?’
‘No, although I know Beth visited her with you and your brother that one time.’
‘She’s regarded as a dragon by society and she’s not much better in private. My upbringing after my parents died was not warm or loving, but I was clothed, fed and educated.’
‘It must have been hard for such a young boy to be brought up like that, all alone.’
‘Yes.’ He shrugged, feeling Annabelle press in closer to him for warmth as the sun finally dipped beneath the horizon. ‘I honestly think my life would have been much different, that I would be a different person, if Miss Culpepper had taken in Josh as well, if we’d been kept together.’
‘It must have made saying goodbye to him for a second time really difficult.’
Leo nodded, remembering embracing his brother for the last time on the docks in London before he boarded the ship for India a few months ago. His leaving this time hadn’t been unexpected, Josh had always planned to return after only a short visit to take up his place running the shipping and transport company, taking over from his guardian, Mr Usbourne. Still, even though it was planned it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less.
‘I loved him fiercely when we were boys. We did everything together.’ He shook his head and smiled, remembering the happy times when he and his brother had been part of a family. ‘When he came back I felt at ease with him immediately, something that doesn’t normally happen. Even though we’d spent twenty-five years apart, communicating by unreliable letters that had to survive a journey halfway around the globe, I felt as though I knew him, as though he understood me perfectly.’
‘Have you written to him?’
Leo gave a self-deprecating smile. ‘Probably more than I should. They’re not even around the cape of Africa yet and I’ve written at least six letters.’
‘I write every week, sometimes three or four times.’
‘You must miss Lady Elizabeth very much.’
‘I do. For all of our childhood we were the best of friends—I suppose she was my only friend really. We did everything together and she never made me feel bad for wanting to stay inside, to stay hidden away. She would try to persuade me out, try to tell me it didn’t matter what I looked like, but when I said no she would just adapt her plans and make sure she told me all about it afterwards.’ Annabelle sighed. ‘She’s the best person I know and I want her to be happy, I think she will be happy with your brother, they seem perfect for one another.’
‘They do,’ Leo agreed. He’d seen the attraction, the love between Josh and Lady Elizabeth even before his brother could admit it to himself.
‘Beth was always so selfless, so generous. And I would never begrudge her happiness, but sometimes I do wish she was still here, that she could have married Josh but stayed here so I could have her in my life. I feel awful for thinking that way, I know this is her adventure, something she has always wanted to do, but I feel it all the same.’
‘It’s not selfish—you love your sister so wanting her in your life is natural.’
Annabelle paused and looked up at him, her eyes searching his.
‘Do you think? I just want her to be happy, but I wish she could be happy near me.’
‘Look at us—’ Leo laughed ‘—pining for our siblings, hating being the ones left behind.’
They strolled in silence for a few minutes, taking the path into the woods that Wilstow had described to Leo earlier in the evening. The path underfoot was dry and clear, but difficult to see in the darkness where the moonlight was obscured by the trees. Once or twice Annabelle stumbled and Leo brought her closer to him to better steady her.
He was surprised to feel so easy in her company, to be able to admit how much he was hurting from losing Josh for a second time. Normally he kept everything very tightly bottled up inside and it felt liberating to have someone to share it with. Annabelle understood only too well what it was like to wave goodbye to the person you cared about the most.
