by Laura Martin
‘I remember about four years ago, when Beth was just starting to attend the local dances, she would come home every evening and tell me minute by minute what had happened and who had danced with whom. Even though she must have been exhausted she would pull me into her arms and she would show me all the steps just so I could feel a part of it.’
‘I forget sometimes that you have never attended a ball or a dance.’
‘I used to lie in bed once we finally collapsed as the sun was beginning to rise and pretend it was me who had gone out and danced and laughed and enjoyed the evening.’
‘Have you ever danced with anyone but your sister?’
‘No.’
Leo paused, knowing he was heading down a reckless path, but not wanting to stop. He was enjoying being with his wife, enjoying her company, enjoying her.
‘Come over here.’ Quickly he led her into a small clearing, surrounded by trees, but the space in the middle was covered only with grass and the moon shone down from above.
‘What are you doing?’
‘It may not be a ballroom, but dance with me here.’
‘Here?’ She laughed, but he could see her eyes searching his in the darkness, wondering if she dared accept.
Leo felt his heart soar as she stepped forward into his arms and he held her gently, guiding her in the steps of a silent waltz. A couple of times she faltered, but a gentle pressure on the small of her back and she was twirling around their makeshift dancefloor. Every so often her body would brush against his and Leo felt pulses of desire run through him. She looked stunning in the moonlight, the silver rays glinting off her hair and her eyes shining with happiness. He had the urge to pull her closer, to bring her body to his, to lean down and kiss her.
He could tell by the way she looked up at him she felt it, too, although as always her expression was tempered with a hint of disbelief. Annabelle never felt good enough for anything, even her husband’s desire, and he wished he could make her see there was so much more to her than just the scars from a childhood accident.
Round and round they spun, Leo hearing the music from a thousand ballrooms in his head, though none of the dances he’d shared in any of those felt anything like this.
Finally they paused, in the middle of the clearing, their bodies close and Leo’s arms wrapped around Annabelle. They were both breathing hard from the exertion and as they caught their breath Leo reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair back behind Annabelle’s ear, letting his fingers linger for longer than was needed, feeling the velvety softness of her neck beneath his hand.
‘Thank you,’ Annabelle said. ‘That was the best dance of my life.’
‘It was my pleasure. I didn’t know I enjoyed dancing so much.’
His fingers traced down her neck and then cupped her cheek and Leo knew he was going to kiss her. It felt inevitable, as though the last few days had been building to this moment.
Slowly he leaned in, seeing the disbelief in Annabelle’s eyes, knowing the only way to make her believe was to actually kiss her.
Her lips were soft and sweet, and he had to hold himself back, to make himself kiss her tenderly, reminding himself it was his wife’s first proper kiss. He felt a rush of desire as her lips parted, welcoming him in, and her body melted into his.
Gently he ran his hand down her back, pulling her ever closer and in a moment of clarity he wondered why he had waited so long for this.
It was so hard to pull away, to look into Annabelle’s eyes and see how she responded to him, but he didn’t want to force anything, to overwhelm her. There was confusion in her expression, mixed with disbelief, but overshadowing all of that was desire. She looked bereft as he pulled away, reaching out as if to hold him to her, and Leo happily obliged. He kissed her harder this time, feeling her hands come up and tangle in his hair, her body firm and insistent. The image of tumbling Annabelle to the ground right here in the clearing came into his mind and refused to leave, but Leo held back, enjoying the kiss instead.
When they came apart neither said anything and Leo could see Annabelle needed a moment to work out what had just happened. He felt the same. Somehow he’d gone from wanting to keep his distance to wanting to spend his entire evening kissing his wife in a very short space of time. There was something enchanting about Annabelle, something that reeled him in and made him forget all the reasons he didn’t want to get close to anyone.
‘I’m confused,’ she said eventually.
‘Me, too.’
They looked at one another and then Annabelle smiled shyly. ‘Thank you for the dance,’ she said and then reached out for his hand. ‘And for the kiss.’
Leo was distracted watching her mouth as she formed the words, unable to focus on what she was saying and instead just wanting to kiss her again. He knew he needed to think about his actions rationally, but for once he just wanted to follow his heart, to satisfy his desires. With great effort he offered her his arm and they continued through the woods, walking in silence until they emerged from the trees into the open fields.
They had gone a little off course, but out in the open Leo could just see their little cottage in the distance. It would be a twenty-minute walk along the cliffs before turning inland for the stroll back to their cottage.
As they started along the cliffs Leo could tell Annabelle wanted to say something to him, but was trying to find the words. When she was running through something in her head she often wrinkled her nose and furrowed her brow, making her look younger and completely innocent. Patiently he waited for her to work out the right way to phrase things, enjoying being with her on such a warm summer’s night.
‘Did you kiss me out of pity?’
Leo stopped abruptly, shocked by her question.
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘It’s not ridiculous. I’m trying to work out why you kissed me. I know you danced with me out of pity, because I’ve never danced with a man before. I think it is fair to assume you kissed me for the same reason.’
‘I wouldn’t kiss you just because I pity you.’ He turned to Annabelle, waiting until she looked up from the ground and met his eye. ‘Do I come across as a man who would do something like that out of pity?’
‘You’re a good man, whatever you think of yourself. A caring man.’
‘I don’t think kissing a woman because you pity her is a good or caring thing to do.’
‘I’m just trying to understand.’
‘What is there to understand? I danced with you because I wanted to and I wanted to give you that experience. I kissed you purely because I had the overwhelming urge to kiss you.’
‘Oh. But...’
‘No protestations. I know exactly why I kissed you.’
‘You can’t have wanted to.’
‘Why not?’ He should have felt amused that she was trying to tell him what he did and didn’t feel, but instead he felt a deep unease, that Annabelle wasn’t going to be able to see that he did find her attractive.
Without speaking she gestured broadly at her face and Leo felt a pang of sorrow for his wife. For so many years her mother had treated her like a damaged piece of furniture, hiding her away, teaching her that she was second-best. No wonder she didn’t think anyone could see past her scars. Her own mother, the person who was meant to love her unconditionally despite any flaws, hadn’t been able to—why would she expect any more from anyone else?
Taking a deep breath to slow down his thoughts and calm his voice, he reached out and took both of her hands in his own.
‘When I look at you, do you know what I see?’
She shook her head.
‘I see your beautiful eyes, the way your face lights up when you smile, the way you frown when you concentrate. All the little details that make you unique.’ She was looking at him as if she didn’t quite believe him. ‘Of course I see your scars, they are pa
rt of you, but it isn’t all that I see. In fact, it isn’t much of what I see.’
Annabelle opened her mouth as if to say something, but then closed it again without uttering a word. He could see the glint of tears in her eyes and realised she had probably never heard a compliment from anyone other than her sister before.
Standing on tiptoe, she stretched up and brushed her lips against his in the gentlest of kisses, pulling away after a couple of seconds and watching him warily to see if she had overstepped. Leo felt the desire surge inside him and suddenly it felt more important to show his wife how beautiful he found her, how desirable, than to maintain his stance on keeping his distance.
Folding her into his arms, he kissed her, this time not holding back. His hands slid from her neck to shoulders to back, making her moan with pleasure as he pulled her to him.
‘Let’s get back to the cottage,’ he said, wanting to be back at their lodgings before sense returned and he changed his mind. Silently Annabelle nodded and hand in hand they began to run across the fields.
Out of breath, Leo kissed Annabelle against the door of the cottage as he fumbled for the key, both of them tumbling inside laughing as the door finally gave way. They landed on the floor and Leo kicked the door shut behind him, then focused on the woman underneath him. Even in the darkness he could see she was flushed and breathless, her chest rising and falling quickly both in anticipation and from the exertion. As he kissed her again he felt her hips push up instinctively, brushing against him, and he felt the wonderful coil of anticipation start to unravel.
Quickly he pulled her to her feet, both of them half stumbling up the stairs in their haste. In the bedroom they didn’t bother with candles, the moonlight streaming in through the window enough to allow them to undress. Leo tugged at the fastenings of Annabelle’s dress, hardly able to wait to push it down over her shoulders. It felt as though he’d been waiting for this moment for so long, as if it had been inevitable even though his conscious mind hadn’t wanted to admit it.
‘Help me,’ Annabelle said, her voice ragged as she wriggled from the dress. Underneath she wore a ridiculous number of layers for the hot weather, but Leo was determined now and soon had pulled off everything except the last layer of cotton chemise. He slowed, taking a step back to regard his wife, her eyes shining with anticipation, her body almost trembling with nervous energy.
Ever so gently he ran a hand over the cotton, feeling the warm skin underneath, savouring the anticipation of what was to come. He felt Annabelle press towards him, moving her body underneath his hand, and he felt a thrum of desire as his fingers danced over her breasts, catching on her nipples. Looking into his eyes, Annabelle gripped the hem of her chemise and pulled it off over her head and then his fingers were on skin and she was gasping beneath his touch.
As he teased and caressed Annabelle worked on loosening his cravat and lifting his shirt off over his head. When her fingers slipped into the waistband of his trousers he let out an involuntary groan and he saw her smile in the darkness, enjoying the effect she had on him.
He kissed her, tumbling her backwards on to the bed and then beginning to explore her skin with his lips, trailing kisses down her neck and across her collarbones before grazing his teeth across her nipple and making her arch her back and beg him for more.
Leo lost track of time as he kissed and caressed, slowly working his way down his wife’s body, wanting to know every inch of her skin. He loved the way she gasped and moaned as he touched her, loved the way she pressed into him as he teased bit by bit.
‘I want you, Leo,’ she murmured and Leo knew he couldn’t hold back much longer. Lifting himself on top of her, he pressed in gently, using all of his self-control to inch forward, waiting for her to meet him before pushing all the way in. He looked down at his wife and wondered why he hadn’t spent all of the honeymoon doing this, why he had wasted so much time, then she pushed her hips up and they found a perfect rhythm.
As Leo felt his climax building Annabelle tensed and cried out underneath him and that was enough to send Leo over the edge. For a long moment he held himself above her. Then, as she reached out and looped an arm around his waist, he fell on to the bed beside her and without thinking pulled his wife in to his chest.
They lay there in silence for a long time, Leo feeling an unfamiliar satisfaction. Tonight he would not think about the consequences of what they had just done, he would not think about how this had changed their relationship irrevocably. Tonight he would just enjoy the warm glow of happiness he felt surround him and the feel of his wife’s body pressed against his.
Chapter Seventeen
Dear Beth,
I never imagined anything could feel this good.
Annabelle woke gradually, first aware of the brightness in the room and the warmth of the sun on her face. As she opened her eyes she became aware of Leo’s body next to her, one arm flung possessively across her waist, the sheets covering his lower half only just preserving his modesty.
Immediately she remembered the events of the previous evening. The waltz in the woods, the kiss and then the second kiss on the clifftops that had led them back here and the frenzy of their desire for one another as they had tumbled into bed. She couldn’t quite believe it and if it wasn’t for Leo lying completely naked next to her she might have thought she had dreamed the whole thing.
As she tried to keep completely still Annabelle felt a flutter of nerves in her stomach. Leo had been clear in his desire the night before, had even told her he found her beautiful, but what if he regretted it in the light of day? He’d told her so firmly that theirs would not be a physical relationship, yet here they were, having spent a wonderful evening together. She didn’t want him to regret it, didn’t want him to push her away and return to the distant man she had first known.
‘I’m falling for you,’ she murmured ever so quietly. It was liberating to acknowledge the truth out loud. She had been trying to fight it these last few days, but she was finally ready to admit she was falling in love with her husband. There was so much more to him than the formal, cool-mannered man the rest of the world saw. He hid his kind and caring side by trying to keep his distance, but when he drew you close he was thoughtful and considerate.
‘Good morning,’ he said as he opened one eye. ‘Good lord, that’s bright. Did we forget to close the curtains?’
‘I think our minds were on other things.’ Annabelle felt her heart pound in her chest as she waited for his reaction and felt a flood of relief when he grinned at her.
‘More important things.’
He stood, not seeming to notice his nakedness, and crossed to the window, pulling the curtains across. The room was still bright, but the glare of the early-morning sun was gone and Annabelle could open her eyes fully. She watched as her husband walked back across the room, seeing him completely naked for the first time in the light.
She felt the start of a blush as he caught her staring and raised an eyebrow. Shifting under the sheet to pull it closer around her, she felt the first fluttering of hope. He didn’t seem regretful or ashamed of what they’d done the night before. If anything, she thought he was looking at her as though he would like to repeat it.
‘Good morning, Lady Annabelle,’ he said as he joined her in bed again.
‘Good morning.’
‘Did you sleep well?’
‘It was the best night’s sleep I’ve had for a long time.’
‘Clearly sharing a bed suits us.’
‘Clearly.’
He traced a finger down the bare skin of her arm, the only part of her except her face on the outside of the sheet.
‘I could go and see what we’ve got left for breakfast,’ he said, not making any effort to move. ‘Or...’
‘Or?’
‘We could spend a little longer in bed.’
Annabelle couldn’t control the smile that blossome
d on her face and reached out hesitantly to pull Leo towards her. They kissed and touched, and Annabelle felt like screaming out with desire when Leo moved on top of her. As he looked down she tried to turn her face away so he wouldn’t be able to see her cheek with the scar.
‘Stop,’ he said ever so gently, using one finger to tilt her chin so her head was squarely in the middle of the pillow. ‘I don’t want you to turn away from me while we’re together. You have nothing to be ashamed of.’
‘You don’t want to have to look at my scars.’
‘I want to look at you. All of you.’
They made love slowly, taking the time to enjoy one another even more than they had the night before, and when they had finished Annabelle cuddled into Leo’s chest, trying to stop herself from building her hopes for the future too high.
‘What would you like to do today?’ Leo kissed her on the top of the head and stroked her back with his fingertips, sending shivers of pleasure through her.
‘I don’t mind. It looks like another glorious day.’
‘I was thinking we could ride down the coast, head towards Charmouth or Lyme Regis, the places Wilstow was talking about last night.’
‘The places where they’ve found those fossils.’
‘Yes. What do you think? They had a few examples in one of the collections when I was at university in Cambridge and I can remember the beach at Lyme Regis from when I visited as a child. It was fascinating.’
‘I think it sounds like a wonderful idea.’ Annabelle felt her heart soar. She wouldn’t have cared what they did today—her main fear was that in the cold light of day Leo would regret the intimacy of the night before and return to being distant and formal with her. Instead, here he was suggesting they spend the whole day together while holding her in his arms.
‘We might have to find somewhere to stay over. I’m not sure if we will make it there in one day.’
‘I’m sure there will be somewhere we can stay.’
‘Michaels should be here soon with fresh food from the village. I will send him ahead to Lyme Regis with the carriage, that way if we wish to return back here in the carriage that will be an option.’
