by Laura Martin
‘I hope he brings something good for breakfast. I’m ravenous.’
He grinned at her and then kissed her. Annabelle cuddled in tighter, wondering how she could preserve this moment, preserve this feeling. She still didn’t quite believe it was real.
* * *
Annabelle must have dozed because she woke to hear Michaels knocking on the door of the cottage and Leo gently extricating himself from underneath her, shaking his arm where she must have been sleeping on it.
‘I’ll go.’ He pulled on his trousers from the night before and descended the stairs, disappearing out of view. Annabelle stayed where she was for another minute then got up, pulling on a simple cotton dress for now, not wanting to don her heavier riding habit too early in this heat.
‘We have fresh bread and jam,’ Leo said, gesturing to the delicious-smelling loaf sitting on the little table. ‘And Michaels is going to saddle up the horses for us and then ride ahead with the carriage. He’ll make enquiries about somewhere to stay in case we decide to reside in Lyme Regis for a night or two.’
‘Perfect.’
They sat down to breakfast together, enjoying the crusty bread and sweet jam and Annabelle wondered if she could freeze her life right now in this moment. She wanted everything to stay exactly as it was. Soon they would have to have a discussion about what their future held and she was scared that Leo’s vision might not match her own. Hopefully they might get a few more days of happiness before any decisions had to be made.
* * *
An hour later they were ready to depart. It would be a long ride along the coast, but there was no rush. If they didn’t make the whole journey in one day they could stop at Weymouth or another little coastal town and continue on tomorrow. Michaels had taken a change of clothes and some personal items in the carriage and Leo had put their lunch in a saddlebag on his horse.
For the first half an hour they rode in companionable silence, enjoying the varied coastline, both lost in their own thoughts. Annabelle was reflecting on how different her life was from the one she’d imagined for herself just a couple of months ago. Then she couldn’t see a way out of the drudgery and frustration of living with her mother, always at Lady Hummingford’s beck and call and always having to listen to her venting her frustrations about her lot in life. She felt a little guilty for leaving her mother behind and once they were settled back in at Five Oaks she would think about arranging a visit, but if she were completely honest she was enjoying a few weeks without the constant criticism and intrusion in her life.
* * *
They had stopped for a late lunch, allowing the horses to rest and enjoying the peace of the warm afternoon. Annabelle hadn’t spent a whole day in the saddle before, despite her love of riding, and her muscles felt sore and stiff as they ate their little picnic. Leo, seeing her wince as she shifted position, instructed her to lie down on the blanket and after checking there was no one else around rubbed the back of her calves and thighs until she felt the muscles relax and the tension release from them. She wished they were somewhere more secluded, somewhere Leo would be able to lift up her skirts without the risk of being seen, but for now she had to be content with enjoying the massage.
The sun was getting low in the sky when they reached Weymouth and they decided to stay overnight, finding a pretty little inn on the outskirts with rooms to spare.
* * *
The next morning they rose early with the plan of pushing on to Lyme Regis and hopefully having some time to enjoy the little village before the end of the day.
‘Tell me more about your holiday to Lyme Regis when you were a boy,’ Annabelle asked as they spotted the little village in the distance. It looked quaint, picturesque, with the buildings huddled around the seafront and the sun glinting off the water.
Leo smiled at the memory, taking a moment before he started speaking, and Annabelle had the impression he was just enjoying thinking about the happy times. It felt premature, their emotional relationship was so fresh and new, but she hoped one day she could help him build more happy memories.
‘Our holidays were always the most anticipated event of the year. My parents would pore over maps and books about the English seaside or beauty spots. It would be months in the planning.’
‘Were you involved?’
‘Very much so. My mother would sit with us at bedtime and show us the pictures in the books of the places we might go. Josh and I would give our opinions and then the decision would be made.’
‘It sounds as though your parents loved to travel.’
‘They did. Before I was born they did a tour of Europe together. They went as far as Greece and were planning on hopping on a boat and exploring further, but my mother fell pregnant and they decided to return home.’
‘I can’t imagine a life like that,’ Annabelle said wistfully. She’d read about the world in all its glory in numerous books in the library at Birling View, spending hours looking at the beautifully drawn atlases and taking in all the details of traveller’s accounts and local traditions. Often she’d had to share those books with Beth, who she knew dreamed of travelling the world and writing about her experiences. Annabelle’s dream had been a little more sedate, she’d wished just to see more than the confines of the estate and to have someone to share her travels with.
‘They planned on taking Josh and me abroad when we were a little older. They talked of travelling to Egypt and perhaps even further afield.’
‘Have you travelled much?’
Leo grimaced. ‘Not as much as I had hoped to as a young man. First there was university and then Lord Abbingdon wanted me to take on more and more responsibility with the running of the estates. I took two short trips to Europe a few years ago, one to Paris, the other to Rome, but even though I arranged adequate supervision of the estate managers while I was away Lord Abbingdon griped about it for months and it rather took the shine off.’
Annabelle regarded her husband with curiosity. She had assumed that he was free. He was a man, wealthy in his own right and the heir to one of the richest men in England. Soon he would have a title and a place in Parliament, too. Despite all this he was still not free to do what he wanted. He had responsibilities, people relying on him, and a deep sense of duty. She wanted to suggest they might take a trip together one day, but couldn’t summon up the courage. Only a few days ago he’d still been proposing they lead completely separate lives—she didn’t want to jeopardise what progress they had made by moving too quickly.
‘So, Lyme Regis?’
‘It was Josh’s choice. We had this huge book about the south coast and there was a picture of the bones of some ancient creature that had been found in the rocks. He liked the look of it and begged for us to go there that summer. We spent hours on the beach searching for curios, Josh came back with quite a collection.’
‘I’m excited to see this beach I’ve heard so much about.’
‘We can head there this afternoon. I think at low tide you can walk for miles, although never having lived by the sea I get a bit apprehensive when the consequence of getting it wrong is being dashed against the cliffs.’
They reached the outskirts of the village, heading down the main street for the inn, advertised by the swinging sign hanging from the side wall.
‘The Stone and Shell,’ Annabelle read out, looking at the freshly painted inn with brightly coloured flowers planted in neat borders outside.
‘Looks perfect.’
Leo arranged a room and found Michaels who had arrived the day before with the carriage. His valet took over getting the horses looked after and Annabelle went to change, keen to be in some fresh clothes after the long hot ride. She chose her lightest dress of white cotton with a light pink ribbon around the middle. It was simply cut with the bodice part shaped and tighter and the ribbon sitting directly below her breasts, then the rest of the dress falling away into a long, straight skirt. T
here were no frills or ruffles or anything to add weight and therefore heat to the dress.
Leo changed, too, shrugging off his jacket and even rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. He looked happy and relaxed and Annabelle wondered if they could stay on honeymoon for ever. She wanted desperately to broach the subject of their life together when they returned home, but was afraid the answer might not be what she hoped for. Instead she resolved to just enjoy the moment, enjoy this unexpected bubble of happiness.
Chapter Eighteen
Dear Josh,
How can a mere few days change your life? I fear thinking about the future as everything has changed and it seems so fragile, so precarious.
Annabelle was quiet as they strolled through Lyme Regis arm in arm, enjoying the gentle hustle of people on holiday and locals. It was low tide and there was a wide stretch of beach visible with a few couples walking in the distance on the foreshore and some children playing in the sand. The back of the beach was rocky, covered in fallen stones and boulders from the cliffs behind, but the sand further down looked soft and beautiful.
‘Would you care to go down to the sea?’
‘That would be lovely.’
They walked in silence, Leo glancing at his wife every now and then wondering what was troubling her. She’d seemed so happy, so content on the ride over, and he wasn’t aware anything had happened to change that.
‘This is glorious,’ Annabelle murmured, turning her face up to the sun. He realised she was wearing just a normal bonnet, not one with a veil attached. In fact, she hadn’t felt the need to wear the veil at all for the last few days. He was surprised at how happy that made him feel, especially as she didn’t seem self-conscious as they walked on the sand. He hoped she was finally realising not everyone would stare and, even if people did, it didn’t matter as long as she knew she was beautiful.
‘Let me show you where we used to search for fossils when we came on holiday when I was a boy.’
Leo took her hand and pulled her along the beach, feeling more carefree than he had done in years. It was liberating to have a few days away from his responsibilities, but more than that he hadn’t realised how much he had missed having someone to share the little moments with. Of course he could have come to stay in Lyme Regis or any other seaside destination on his own, but it would have felt hollow, lonely. With Annabelle by his side he had someone to show the things he enjoyed, to discuss the day’s events with and perhaps even to reminisce in years to come.
At the thought of the future he felt some of his excitement fading. He didn’t want to think past these next few days. Here on honeymoon he could see how he and Annabelle fitted together, but when they returned back to Kent, or, even worse, London, he couldn’t imagine how their lives could be. He’d never planned to allow Annabelle in, to make her an active part of his life. When he had pictured the role of a wife before they were married he’d thought of her running the house at Five Oaks, perhaps hosting the occasional local family if she was comfortable with it. They would pass one another, barely needing to interact, both happy in their solitude.
That clearly wouldn’t work now. He couldn’t go five minutes without wanting to touch her, to see her smile, to hear her opinion on something or other. Even so, he couldn’t imagine her slotting into the life he must lead. It wasn’t what he had promised her when he proposed and he wasn’t sure how to go about discussing the changes.
‘Look, can you see at the bottom of the cliffs, where some of it has crumbled and broken away?’ Leo pointed, deciding to push all thoughts of the future from his mind and just enjoy the here and now for a few more days. ‘That’s where you find the fossils. They get washed from the cliffs or fall with the rocks as the cliffs get battered by the sea and weather.’
‘I’m not sure what I’m looking for.’
They came away from the water’s edge, heading back towards the cliffs, both with their eyes cast downwards, looking for anything unusual.
‘Here,’ Leo called out after a few minutes. He bent down to pick up the half of a spiral. ‘It’s a snakestone, or at least half of one. Josh used to have hundreds of fragments all laid out on his chest of drawers in our bedroom.’
He handed it to Annabelle, who tested its weight in her hand, running her fingers over the ridges.
‘When you find a complete one it is very impressive.’
‘It looks like an ancient snail shell.’
‘You’re right.’
They continued their search, Leo picking out a few examples of witch’s fingers and snakestones before his eyes fell on the glint of fairy’s money.
‘Josh always wanted to find one of these,’ he said as he wiped the little stack of star shapes with his finger, gently trying to dislodge the mud.
‘You’ll have to give it to him as a gift,’ Annabelle suggested.
Leo nodded, although he didn’t know when he would see his brother again. The fossil was too delicate to send in a package.
‘Perhaps one day...’ he said, but caught himself. He’d just been about to suggest one day they might be able to make the trip to India. It was a long voyage and he doubted he would be able to leave his responsibilities for some time yet, but one day maybe he would be able to find someone he could leave in charge for a while and take the trip to see his brother. Even though it was something he wanted dearly, he stopped himself from saying any more. Who knew how he and Annabelle would be living in a couple of years’ time? It would be cruel to promise her a trip to see her sister and then not go through with it.
Annabelle sensed his hesitation and sighed, sitting down on a sizeable rock a little distance from the cliff.
‘I think we need to talk, Leo,’ she said quietly, biting her lip and showing just how nervous those words made her.
‘What do you want to talk about?’
‘About us, about what we’re doing here. About our future.’
‘Do we need to? We’ve only been married a few weeks, everything is still fresh, still malleable—do we really need to decide on everything right now?’
Annabelle regarded him for a long moment and then shook her head. ‘You’re right,’ she said with a tight smile. ‘Of course you’re right. Let’s just enjoy what we have.’
He knew it was not fair on Annabelle, his not wanting to discuss the future. He held all the cards, was the one who ultimately would make all the decisions. If he decided to carry on as he had initially planned, living a life separate to Annabelle, then she would have no choice in the matter. Equally, if he proposed they live a more conventional married life, sharing their time, allowing them to care for one another, it would be him leading that.
Leo blew out a deep breath. He couldn’t deny he was starting to care for Annabelle. He enjoyed her company, desired her physically and keenly anticipated every moment they spent together. For the first time in a very long time he actually felt happy, but lying underneath that, creeping to the surface, was a tendril of doubt. It was when he allowed himself to care for someone that their loss was much harder to bear. He’d told himself over and over he didn’t want to love someone again, didn’t want to put himself in that precarious position. He glanced across at Annabelle. She was young, healthy, there was nothing to say he was going to lose her, but life had taught him it wasn’t only the old and infirm who were taken away from him.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘This is all very new to me. I never expected any of this. I suppose I’m still adjusting, but you are right we need to discuss things. Perhaps tonight, over dinner?’
She nodded and squeezed his hand and together they continued their amble along the beach. Leo was lost in thought, trying to work out exactly what it was he wanted from his wife, aware that it wouldn’t be fair to agree to one course and then want to change yet again further down the path.
‘Mr Ashburton.’ Leo heard his name being called from a distance and both he and Annab
elle spun, squinting into the sun to see Michaels hurrying towards him.
‘Michaels, what is wrong?’ He knew it must be something serious. His young valet was an excellent judge of when was and wasn’t appropriate to disturb Leo and he wouldn’t follow him on an intimate walk without good reason.
‘There is some news, sir. A letter arrived a few minutes ago—the rider has been chasing us around Dorset, by all accounts.’
Leo took hold of the proffered letter, recognising the handwriting of Mrs Westcott, his great-uncle’s longstanding housekeeper. With a heavy heart he opened it and read the short note.
‘Lord Abbingdon is dead,’ he said, feeling a flicker of guilt that he hadn’t been there at the time of his great-uncle’s passing. ‘He took a turn for the worse a week ago and passed away soon after.’
Annabelle was immediately by his side, taking the letter from him as he shook his head in astonishment. His great-uncle had been an invalid for a long time, bed bound for almost two years and weak of body for much longer than that. Even so, it had seemed as though the old man would go on for ever.
‘Do you need to sit?’ Annabelle asked, her voice gentle.
He shook his head. He was shaken, but he felt no real sadness and that was a shock. Lord Abbingdon had never been a particularly pleasant man and they had always focused on discussing business matters when Leo visited. Even so the old man had been part of Leo’s life for a long time—surely he should feel some emotion at his passing?
Not knowing what else to do, he reread the letter, the words blurring in front of him as he tried to process the enormity of the moment.
‘I need to get back to Kent.’
‘Of course. We’ll head back straight away.’
‘The rider is waiting at the inn in case you want to send any reply, sir. I took the liberty of buying him lunch, but he is ready to depart at a moment’s notice.’
