The Good Husband

by Lucian Bane

  His mouth left hers then moved along her cheek to her ear. “Alice,” he said winded as he stroked up and down her back with firm hands. Strong hands. Feeling her like he’d been desperate to. And yet gentle and caring. Safe. “You’re mine?” he asked, hugging her tighter.

  “I’m yours.”

  “But…I don’t think…we should do this,” he said, pulling back a little.

  “What?”

  “Your dad…he wouldn’t want us…”

  “He said I get to decide that,” she reminded him, ready to fight for that gift even if he hadn’t meant it.

  “But he also said not to do what he wouldn’t—”

  “I heard exactly what he said. His trick-box rules.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean rules that seem to give us freedom when they don’t. He gives you permission to date me then uses your goodness to ensure you don’t do anything he doesn’t want you doing.”

  “I think that’s normal,” Charlie said.

  “And then he tells me that I can make my own decisions and then uses your faith and goodness to ensure I never get what I want! I want you Charlie. All of you.”

  “Wait,” he whispered smiling, holding her face. “You have all of me.”

  “You just told my father that you would date me with the intention of marrying me and in our culture that makes us betrothed, and betrothed people, in this day and age, get to touch each other if they want to. Oh yes, I researched it!” she assured with a lot of nods.

  He threw his head back and laughed and it made her want to touch him more, which made her angrier over it. Then he kissed her again. His mouth was hungrier than before, filling her up with hope and desire.

  “I do want you,” he assured, his lips gliding. “But how can you ask me to dishonor your father’s wishes now that I know them?”

  “It is not dishonor!” she argued, breathless. “Were you not listening to anything I said?”

  “I heard you perfectly,” he assured, nodding while gliding his fingers along her hair.

  She tiptoed and captured his face in her hands, kissing him again, not being so timid about it. It caught their hunger on fire, hotter than before and their breaths clashed loudly with it.

  “We can’t,” he whispered in her mouth before pulling back. “We can’t go too far. Swear to me you won’t let me. I have to marry you first.”

  “Maybe to you this is the way, Charlie. To me we are already married if we are married in our hearts and mind.”

  “I believe we should wait,” he pled, weakly.

  “Wait for what?” she wanted to know, sliding her hands over his back, learning his form. Her fingers were at the top of his jeans then, tracing with a curious hunger.

  “Wait for that,” he shuddered when she dipped beyond the waistband.

  “We don’t have to do everything,” she whispered. “Just…a little.”

  His thick breaths caught in his throat when she pressed her hand against his erection, feeling him there. “Alice,” he gushed, his head dropping back as she stroked him. But it was his fault, he was causing it. Everything he did and every sound he made brought it. The need to never stop, to keep going more and more till she had all of it. And the way he pushed into her touch while making those sounds said he wanted the exact same. And he should have everything he wanted, and she should give it at the moment he wanted it.

  “They don’t have to know, Charlie,” she said at his mouth now, stroking him more, feeling his shape and size. “It’s not their business, he said so,” she barely whispered. “I just want to feel you. Let me…have what is mine.”

  “Oh God,” he croaked, looking down at what she was doing now. She opened the button on his jeans and unzipped his pants, watching his face. His gaze shot up to hers, and the dark heat in it drove her on. He stared at her speechless even though she sensed so many things he wanted to say right in that second.

  “Can I touch you?” she whispered, stroking her fingers softly over his erection beneath his underwear. “I want to, Charlie.”

  He answered with strained breaths, pushing his underwear down and letting himself free.

  “Charlie,” she whispered, sliding the tips of her fingers along the length of his warm manhood. He was thick and hard. “You’re beautiful here,” she gasped, curling her fingers around him.

  At hearing what that did to him, she looked up and his mouth devoured with a kiss, his hand gripping hers as she moved it back and forth along him. Her own whimpers fluttered out as he pushed his hand up her t-shirt. At feeling him searching, she lifted the material and bra along with it.

  “Charlie!” she cried when his fingers stroked her nipple, feeling the thick tip with pained groans in her mouth. His tongue unleashed a hunger, sliding quickly and firmly along hers, then deeper. She answered it with frantic sounds, needs building between her legs as he pushed his erection so swiftly in and out of her hand.

  His breaths picked up, louder and thicker, making everything burn and ache in those places she wanted him to touch. “Alice,” he strained, back to watching her stroke him. She used two hands now, overwhelmed with the sounds he made.

  “Does it feel so good Charlie?”

  “Kiss me, Alice,” he gasped, his mouth crashing onto hers. His groans of pleasure pushed out one after another as she caught his hot seed in one hand while milking him with the other.

  “Oh Charlie,” she whispered, ready to collapse. “Touch me,” she begged while she fought to remove her jeans.

  He kissed her and when his hands held her face, she forgot her pants and slid her fingers in his hair, loving the feel of his lips and tongue everywhere in her mouth.

  “Oh God,” he croaked, breaking the kiss with his forehead against hers.

  The sudden fear in his tone worried her. “What’s wrong?”

  His breaths blasted out as his head barely shook against hers, making her heart beat in fear. “We can’t do this, Alice. I can’t. Please. Don’t let me do this.”

  “I just wanted to make you feel good,” she whispered.

  “And I want nothing more than to return it, but I won’t stop and…I don’t…I can’t let this happen while you make me forget my own name much less think about if this is the right time. I don’t want to mess this up, I don’t want to mess us up.”

  She kissed him softly, stroking his face, his goodness melting her. “What do you want to do? I will do whatever you ask. I trust you, and I don’t want you doing something that you feel wrong about.”

  “I would never regret doing anything with you except for how it might hurt our family. If it was just me and you, I would…” his breath rushed out. “I can’t even say the words without it burning me to the point that I can’t think.”

  She couldn’t stop her giddy laugh, grabbing his hands in hers and kissing them. “You want to wait, Charlie Brown? How long? I will fight you if you say something stupid.”

  “I…maybe after my dad wakes.”

  “That’s five weeks!”

  “Yes,” he nodded against her head, leaning in to kiss her. “Another term for feels like forever but…I need to protect what we have. And if…we see that it’s okay to do more before that, then we’ll discuss what and when and how much. But I think I don’t want to do the actual marriage thing until we are actually married. That feels right, it feels important.”

  She couldn’t stop her tears as she nodded, wrapping her arms around him. “I could never marry you more than I already have, Charlie Brown. But I will do what you want or need. Thank you. For being you. You make me feel safe. My dad is wrong about you, you’re not like all other guys. And I’m so happy you’re not.”

  She pulled back, looking at him. “Are you going to tell your mom?”

  He stroked the hair along her face, seeming lost in his study of her. “I’ll see,” he whispered, meeting her gaze. “She’s fragile. She feels like she’s losing me and if I tell her that I’m in love and want to marry you, it might freak her out.�
� He paused, kissing her lips. “Why are you crying?”

  “You love me Charlie?” she squeaked out.

  He stared at her, seeming to consider it seriously like he did for important things he didn’t want to answer wrong. “I realize I’m not…officially a grown man but…I do love you as far as I can understand and comprehend things. And I don’t think what I feel for you will ever go away, only grow.”

  She nodded, and he stroked his thumbs over her wet cheeks before kissing her softly. “Me too,” she whispered against his mouth.

  Seeing Ben

  “I was thinking…to go see your father today,” Cheryl forced out as she scrambled eggs. It had been over two weeks. It was time.

  “Are you sure? I mean…I understand why you’re waiting.”

  She looked up at him. “You do?”

  He nodded quickly with his compassionate eyes. “Why do you think I haven’t yet?”

  “You haven’t?” she gasped, her mouth hanging open. “I thought…I thought I was the only one… Oh my Gosh.”

  “I tried,” he said, sounding upset with himself.

  “Me too!” She sagged in relief. “So many times. Why didn’t I talk to you about this?” She tapped the stirring spoon on the skillet and set it down. “Oh, because you’re so busy with your new girlfriend.” She shook her head, smiling at him. “I still can’t believe you’re dating their daughter,” she barely whispered in shock. “Dating at all!” She smiled more and wagged her finger at him. “But I gotta tell you…it took a lot of guts to do what you did.” She loaded his plate with a serving of food and handed it over to him.

  He took it. “Must be why it’s hard to eat, I used all my guts up on that.”

  She turned off the stove and eyed his soft grin.

  “Mmm, so good mom,” he muttered, eating while shaking his head.

  “You like her a lot. I see it. But I notice you don’t spend as much time with her, what’s that about?”

  He shrugged. “Just…we’re young and new at all this. Boundaries,” he finished, shoveling food in his mouth. “I need them. She needs them.”

  “Wow,” she said, shaking her head in genuine awe. “I don’t ever remember being so responsible in my life.” She grinned at him. “But your dad was just like that. I swear he had this laid out formula of how to do things, when to do them, and it was ingrained in his genetic code,” she said, annoyed. “Once he decided something, that was it. I was out of luck.”

  “So…dad had to put the brakes on with you?”

  “Ohhhh did he ever!” She gave an obnoxious laugh. “If it had been the other way around,” she whispered, “he’d have been pregnant on the first date.”

  He laughed then aimed a cringy look at her.

  “I know, TMI, but…your dad was like a damn monk. It was almost infuriating. But…he found ways to make it bearable.”

  At seeing his piqued interest, she waited for him to ask.

  “I’m scared to ask and yet…I kind of need to know.”

  Her mother’s heart soared as she sashayed her way to his side of the island. “Wellll, since you asked.”

  “Be gentle,” he begged. “Use three-year-old terms.”

  She had to chuckle at that. “Would you like a stick-figure drawing?”

  “No,” he assured. “God no,” he added making her cackle.

  “Well there are a lot of things you can do besides the deed. Your dad reserved that one for the big day or night of the big day.”

  “I feel the same,” Charlie blurted, surprised.

  “The genetic apple never falls far from the tree. You and your father have such an amazing bond,” she realized, impressed with that.

  “So…these things,” he asked, not able to look at her.

  “Okay look,” she said. “I’m not going to tell you anything but this one thing. Every person is different when it comes to…to…” she rolled her hands trying to find a three-year-old term, “…those things that make you very happy?”

  “Pleasure?”

  “Yes,” she nodded. “I wasn’t sure if that was too heavy of a word.”

  “It’s close but I need to make sure I understand.”

  “So, the only way to really learn about each person’s happy feelings,” she decided to continue with, “is to learn them through…exploration. Kind of like if you were playing a game of hide the…dice,” she said, not sure what else to use. “Only the other person hides it…in the place that makes them happy… and you have to find it. While blindfolded in a way. And…she uses, or should use, sounds and words, even, to let you know if you’re hot or cold. The closer you get to where the dice are hidden, the more…sounds or words she might give to tell you?”

  “I get it!” he shot out, making her squish her lips together to keep from laughing. Then it hit her that he may already know some of that.

  “So, did you…two…”

  “Not the deed, no.”

  “But…”

  “It happened so fast I didn’t know how to stop, but I did,” he hurried. “Somehow. I think it was a miracle.”

  She had to laugh at how serious he was. “I can’t help it,” she said at his shamed offense. “But you stopped, that’s all that matters. And now…?”

  “And now…we’re taking time to think, without having to deal with all the…stuff she causes.”

  Cheryl put her elbow on the counter and propped her head in her hand, smiling at him. “And how is that helping?”

  The snort and eye roll he gave brought her cackle again.

  “Not helping,” she said. “Don’t beat yourself up. You’re fighting the hand of God. It’s supposed to be impossibly hard. Unless he makes you a eunuch, you’re supposed to be feeling exactly that.”

  “How am I supposed to be around her?” he cried, setting his fork down with a clank, his frustration on full display. “And why are you smiling about it?” he added in great offense that made her cover her snickers. “You remind me of Alice, she finds it all cute.”

  “Ohhhh honey, it’s such a huge compliment when you see somebody loves you more than they can control! That is the greatest gift you can ever give a girl,” she assured sincerely.

  He seemed to consider that, his head lowering in obvious contemplation. “So…if just being around her causes this in me, what in the world will it do when I’m looking for her dice?”

  Cheryl lost it, falling off the chair in laughter. “Oh God, that is funny!”

  “Only it’s not!” Charlie cried back, but grinning.

  “I don’t know how to answer that one.”

  “Well…what did dad do? Or how did he manage, and is there any way to tell me that without telling me?”

  “He threatened me, that’s what,” she said, smiling about it now.

  “What? How?” Charlie wondered, confused.

  “He said if I made him go too far, then it was up to me to stop it or he’d never play again.”

  “And?” Charlie demanded with wide eyes.

  “What do you think?” Cheryl said with sneaky eyes.

  “You didn’t stop him, and he quit till marriage?”

  “You got it,” she muttered. “Oh, he thought he was just the boss in all that,” she said, nodding with lowered eye lids.

  “Uh-oh, what did you do?” Charlie wondered with a grin. “Raped him?”

  “Well it’s not technically rape, if you’re engaged to be married, now is it?”

  Charlie’s eyes popped. “You raped him?”

  “Pfffffft!” she gave a messy wag of her hand. “That man is grown, and nothing happened that he didn’t let happen. I’m just a tiny thing,” she reminded him, at the sudden worry on his face.

  “And to think that I’m back at square one. None of this has helped me,” he realized, bringing his half-eaten plate to the sink while Cheryl had to wonder if her doing that to Ben had caused him to resent her somehow.

  “I’m sure you’ll find your groove, don’t stress.” She put a hand over her mouth suddenl
y emotional. “I’m losing my baby right when I’m losing… Oh God, forgive me.” She dropped her hand and shook her lowered head. “I know I’m not losing my husband.”

  “I get what you mean. I think it’s normal.”

  A laugh of relief escaped her. “Okay Dr. Lanthrop.”

  “I’ve been seeing him, by the way.”

  “You have? When!? Why didn’t you tell me? Are you okay?”

  He chuckled. “Don’t hate me, but… I really need a man to talk to about some of the stuff that isn’t about dad. I have the same feelings about the other stuff though.”

  “Like what?” She pulled a stool up near his, sitting. “Talk to me, share with me,” she begged. “I feel like I’m the only one having problems with this,” she whispered. “I’m almost hoping you’re having some, just so I don’t feel like I’m the only one freaking out.”

  “Well, having Alice helps but it’s all still there, waiting for me to deal with. Seeing him, meeting him for the first time as this new person. Will he really have his memories? Will he have some and not others? Will he look at me like he’s never seen me before in his life? I think I’m scared of that one the most.”

  A huge sob gushed out of her as she nodded. “Same,” she quipped with a raised hand. “Worst one for sure.”

  “And what if he has some of those issues we were required to read about? What will I do, how will I react? I try to imagine them, so my mind can prepare and not be shocked, but it’s…so hard to even imagine it.”

  Cheryl lunged on him, hugging him tight. He laughed, patting her awkwardly. “I’m sorry,” she pulled back, holding her hand up in memory of his boundaries. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear you say all these things. It’s like you’ve been listening in my head,” she barely whispered to him, making him laugh.

  “We can go see him together, if you want.”

  “Ohhhh Charlie, yes! Yes, thank you! I mean, I wasn’t going to ask that. I didn’t want you to feel pressured but at the same time, I felt like I was walking the plank alone,” she strained.