The Wolf's Heart

by Rain Oxford

  I felt… familiarity. I felt like I knew him. I didn’t remember him, but I knew him. We were friends. I couldn’t stand it any longer; I pointed my wand at the lock and said, “Open.” I focused my mind and magic on saving the wolf. Power formed in me, shot out the wand, and struck the lock. It popped open.

  Unfortunately, when I opened the cage, he didn’t move.

  “Okay. I’ll carry you, but I’m pretty sure you weigh more than I do. Please don’t bite me.”

  He whimpered as I pulled his front legs up and over my shoulders. With great difficulty, I picked him up. He yelped.

  “I know it hurts, but if you don’t be quiet, the others will come out and put you back in the cage.”

  He stifled his pain.

  I made it a whole five steps before I had to set him down. I waved my wand at him. “Levitate.” Just like when I unlocked the cage, the magic came instinctively. The wolf floated into the air slowly. I sighed with relief. Although it was a mental strain rather than a physical one, it was an improvement. I easily pushed him into the woods, and all the way to his den. Once I set him down, I started fixing the structure. “I’m going to leave you here alone for a while so that I can get you some water and a healing potion. Do healing potions work on wolves?” I asked.

  He didn’t answer, of course.

  I returned to the village. Fortunately, no one had discovered what I had done yet. I found Mage in her room, alone. “Do you need something?” she asked.

  “Do you happen to have another healing potion?”

  “Sure. Did you get hurt?”

  “I’m just trying to plan ahead for whatever Magician and Warrior have in mind.”

  She gave it to me and I went to the well to get some water. Once I found a spare bucket and filled it, I entered the woods. By the time I finally reached the wolf, he was unconscious. Blood pooled on the ground around him. “I don’t know why you bit me, but I hope you get better. I think this is a healing potion.”

  Cautiously, I opened it, pulled open his mouth, and poured the potion in his mouth. Fortunately, he didn’t snap his jaws shut. Nothing happened, which I figured was okay, because sleeping potions usually had a sedative effect and weren’t obvious at first because they healed from the inside out. Of course, there were more specialized potions, such as ones that cured open wounds or poisons, but most of them healed anything wrong.

  * * *

  He woke a while later and seemed to be in less pain, so I gave him water. Throughout the day and night, he woke a few times and I comforted him as best as I could. I fell asleep for a while. In the morning, I went back to the village and groaned at what I saw. Two more cabins were destroyed.

  Red was inspecting the cage. No one else was around. “Did you let him out?” she asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Do you need help?”

  “You’re not mad?”

  “Why would I be? Obviously, you thought he wasn’t a threat to us. Judging by your questions yesterday, you don’t think he’s the same wolf that attacked us. We were attacked again last night.”

  “Then it definitely wasn’t this wolf. I was with him all night.”

  “I figured. Are you willing to alienate yourself from the others to save him?”

  I hesitated. “I don’t know why, but yes.”

  “Is it because you’re a wizard and you feel you have to protect defenseless animals?”

  “That must be it,” I lied.

  “Everyone could see that he was set free instead of breaking out and they know you did it. You should go. I’ll bring food and water to the edge of the forest when no one is looking. I’ll also let you know if we make any progress in breaking the curse.”

  “Thank you.” She nodded and I returned to the forest.

  When I reached the wolf, he was awake. I sat beside him, rubbed his ears, and told him he would be okay. The last of the red glow faded from his gold eyes.

  “Someone is going to bring some water and food into the forest for us. The village was attacked again last night. I wonder if you’ve lost your memories, too.”

  He fell asleep. After a while, I went to the village and found the food and water Red had left. For the rest of the day, it was quiet. None of the others risked coming into the forest because they didn’t know how bad the wolf’s condition was. I used some water and a clean tunic to wash his wounds. As I did, I realized his jaw wasn’t big enough to cause the wound on my arm.

  Night fell and I got a little sleep.

  * * *

  I woke to a furious growl and sat up. The wolf was asleep, but we weren’t alone. A stick snapped. Dried leaves crunched. Something was right outside the den. If only I was a sorcerer, I could fight.

  The roof was suddenly torn off and there was a bear-sized black wolf with glowing green eyes. I pointed my wand at him. “Freeze.” Nothing happened. He swiped the wand out of my hand with his huge paw.

  I ran after my wand, but the wolf lunged at me, so I had to dodge him. He bit into my leg and started to drag me away from the den. I felt foreign energy fill me and thought for a moment that I was being cursed, but instead, my magic responded to it with familiarity. Before I could figure out what it was, the power burst from me as lightning. The lightning struck the black wolf and threw him back.

  In shock over what had just happened, I didn’t run. Somehow, I knew it was the smaller wolf that had saved me. “Did you just do magic through me?” I asked.

  “Apparently,” he answered.

  I gaped. “You can talk?!”

  “Apparently,” he repeated.

  “Do you know what’s going on?”

  “I have no clue. Like you, I have lost my memory.”

  “Are you a wizard or shifter?”

  Before he could answer, the black wolf attacked again. I ran back to the den and stood next to the small wolf. I wanted to grab my wand, but I didn’t think it would do any good. The wolf clearly knew more magic than I did.

  The black wolf stopped snapping at us, as if he was expecting another attack, and asked, “Did you really think you could get rid of me that easily?”

  “You can talk, too? Can all wolves talk?”

  “I am not a wolf!” the black wolf declared. “Now, Merlin, how do I open the jar?”

  The good wolf and I looked at each other. “Which one of us is Merlin?” I asked.

  The black wolf scowled. “What game are you playing?”

  “None. We don’t remember who we are.”

  “You are lying.”

  “Why would we lie?”

  “To hide the key from me!”

  “What key?”

  He growled. “The key to the jar! Stop playing around!”

  “We’re not!” I insisted. “We honestly don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Who are you?” the good wolf asked.

  “You know who I am! I am Gmork!”

  “Are we related somehow?” the good wolf asked.

  For a moment, Gmork looked confused, and I wondered if wolves were supposed to have such clear facial expressions. “You are serious? You do not know how to open the jar?”

  The good wolf shook his head. “We lost our memories.”

  “Well, Merlin, you had better remember by this time tomorrow, or Nimue will die.” Gmork started to disappear into the dark.

  “Wait! Do you know my name or who I am?” I asked.

  He narrowed his eyes. “You are Ayden, Merlin’s apprentice in magic and a pest.” Then he melted into the darkness and was gone.

  “You teach me magic?”

  “I suppose so. I must be a wizard.”

  “Do I not have a family to teach me?” Obviously, he didn’t know.

  “We either did this to ourselves or someone else did this to us to protect the key that Gmork is after,” Merlin said.

  “Should we look for a key?”

  “No. For one thing, I doubt it is a physical key so much as a magic one. For another, we need to retain our memories. Obv
iously, fighting him without our memories is a terrible disadvantage. I also imagine Nimue is someone important to me. There must be a way to reverse this curse.”

  Chapter 3

  “Are you sure there’s a way to reverse the curse?” I asked as Merlin and I walked to the village.

  “I would be a fool not to have a backup plan.”

  The plan was to hide Merlin at the edge of the forest, sneak in, and talk to Red. I had to convince them that Merlin wasn’t the attacker, and since I was the one to let him out, Red’s word would be stronger than mine.

  She was in the same room I had found her in and listened patiently until I was done explaining what happened.

  “What should we do?” she asked. “There has to be a way to reverse the curse.”

  “Merlin is working it out, but without his memories, it’s not easy. He doesn’t remember how to do magic any more than we do.”

  “Maybe he can’t do magic,” Red suggested. “Maybe he was only able to do magic through you.”

  “Then why would he be my teacher of magic?”

  She shrugged. “If this curse was placed to stop Merlin from telling Gmork how to open the jar, are you sure we should be trying to break it? What if the jar contains something powerful and dangerous?”

  “It probably does, but we can’t fight him without our memories.”

  Merlin howled and we went outside, where Sorcerer and Magician had ropes tied around his neck while Warrior pointed a sword at him. “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “We found him in the forest, spying on us,” Magician said.

  “I have gotten a few of my memories back,” Merlin said.

  Mage and Jevwen gasped. “He can talk!”

  “I can.”

  “Can all wolves talk?” Mage asked.

  “No, I am a wizard, not a wolf. I was cursed.”

  This made everyone pause. “Then why did you attack us?” Magician asked.

  “I never attacked you.”

  “I saw you.”

  “You are mistaken. It was another wolf.”

  “No way is that true!” Warrior said. “Wolves may not be extinct, but they aren’t that common.”

  “Gmork came here to fight me. You just got in his way.”

  “Then when we kill you, he won’t attack us again.”

  “Maybe we shouldn’t kill him in case he really is a wizard,” Mage suggested.

  “We are safer not taking the chance,” Warrior said.

  When he raised his sword to strike Merlin in the neck, I reacted without thinking; I ran up to block him and pointed my wand at Warrior. “No! Leave him alone!”

  “You’re defending him?”

  “He’s the one who released the wolf,” Sorcerer said. “The wolf must have entranced him.”

  Warrior grabbed my arm forcefully. “Break your curse, wolf.”

  “He didn’t do anything to me,” I insisted. “Where is your honor?” Warriors had to be honorable.

  “Don’t insult my honor!”

  “It’s not his fault; he’s just a wizard,” Mage said. “The wolf must be making him say that.”

  “I’m not being controlled,” I argued.

  “You would say that if you were being controlled,” Magician said.

  “I’m not!”

  “Can you prove it?”

  “We can prove it by killing the wolf,” Warrior insisted.

  “No!”

  “Why are you defending him so frantically if he’s not controlling you?”

  “Because he’s innocent!”

  “Ayden, it is no good hanging with wolves when you are hanging from a rope,” Merlin cautioned.

  “I stand by my friends.” At least, I hoped I did. Wizards were supposed to, but I still wasn’t entirely sure I was one. If Merlin was my mentor in magic and was disguised as a wolf, there was no reason to assume I wasn’t disguised as a wizard.

  “Even if we kill the wolf, that might not break his curse,” Sorcerer said. “Lock the wizard and wolf up separately. We can torture the wolf until he breaks his curse on the wizard and us.”

  “He can help us,” I insisted.

  “Magician, take him to a room and tie him up until we’re done,” Warrior said, pulling my wand out of my pocket.

  “No!” I said, smacking Magician’s hand away as he tried to grab me.

  Magician scowled at me. “Wizards cannot fight. Settle down and let us help you. Once the wolf’s curse is broken, you will realize that we know best.” He grabbed my arms and started pulling me away.

  “Go peacefully unless they try to hurt you,” Merlin said.

  I didn’t like it, but I relented and let Magician pull me away. My last glimpse of Merlin was of Warrior and Sorcerer tying him up.

  * * *

  “Wake up, young sorcerer.”

  I woke with a start. “Merlin?” I asked. I heard his voice clearly, but I was alone in the pink cabin. “Are you hiding somewhere?”

  After a moment, I heard him again. “I have regained more of my memories. I know you do not remember me or why we can do this, but we can speak in each other’s mind.”

  His words weren’t coming from somewhere in the room but from inside my head. I was tied up and without my wand, but I had to do something. “Can you hear me?” I asked.

  “I remember you well enough to guess at what you are saying aloud. No, I cannot hear you. I do not remember what happened to us to cause this curse. I do, however, remember that you are not a regular Caldaca wizard.”

  “Not a regular wizard? What does that mean? I’m not a warlock.”

  “No, you are not a fake. You are a Sjau.”

  “I don’t know what that is.”

  “Neither do I,” he said, still predicting my words perfectly. “I am still missing many of my memories, but I remember that you have light and dark magic.”

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  “Be that as it may, it is true.”

  “Are you sure you can’t hear me?”

  No answer. Instead, I sensed foreign energy fill me once again, but instead of magic surging through me, my vision changed.

  I saw myself through another’s eyes in the forest. I looked a little younger and a lot more naïve. I heard the wolf’s thoughts, too, and he saw loneliness.

  “I have traveled to many worlds, and only Caldaca is so divided in magic to differentiate between wizards and sorcerers.” Although Merlin’s voice was exactly the same as it was a moment before, I knew he was talking to the younger version of me in front of him. “I was under the impression that sorcerers did not have blond hair on this world.”

  My younger self touched his hair with shame. “Yes, I know. I’m really weird. That’s why I’m out here; I’m determined to prove that I’m a powerful and malevolent sorcerer.”

  “You want to be malicious? Do you like hurting people or are you seeking riches?”

  “I don’t want to hurt anyone. It’s just that everyone in my family has powerful sorcery and they’re ashamed of me. I’m going to defeat the great wizard, Magnus. The problem is that I’m lousy at being ruthless. Whenever I try to cause trouble, my spell goes wrong.”

  “Your magic reflects who you are inside.” Merlin paused, devising a plan. He knew that my magic was light because my heart was good, and that I could only accept that when I learned what the alternative was. He knew that if he took me out of the environment of hatred and ruthlessness, I would choose to be myself.

  He also knew that he needed my help to reach the wizard that could save him.

  “Nevertheless, I think we can help each other. In this cursed form, I cannot do magic. It occurs to me that if Magnus is so great, he can break the curse, but getting to him alone will be difficult and communicating my needs will be even more challenging. I propose a deal.”

  “I don’t work with wizards.” That wasn’t arrogance in my young eyes; that was fear. I was afraid that working with a wizard would be too good and prove that I wasn’t a sorcerer af
ter all.

  “On my world, there is no distinction between wizards and sorcerers, for I have never met a wizard who is entirely and inherently good. I have, however, met many vicious villains on my travels. If you assist me in finding Magnus and convincing him to turn me back into a man, I will teach you how to be the most malevolent, successful sorcerer in all of the lands.”

  He wasn’t lying. He knew I wasn’t cut out to be a sorcerer, but it was my choice to make all along.

  * * *

  I was back in the pink cabin. I still didn’t remember anything, but I knew Merlin was my friend, and I knew I wasn’t a wizard. I also wasn’t a sorcerer.

  And that realization felt better than any since I had woken.

  Fortunately, since wizards were peaceful, they hadn’t checked me for weapons or taken my dagger. I pulled it out, cut myself free, and searched the room for anything that I could use to free Merlin. I didn’t want to hurt anyone else. Of course, the room was still empty except for the sorcerer’s staff and bag on the bed.

  I searched the bag and found several sets of clothes, for my size and someone larger. There was also a clump of transformation clay and bread. I ate some of the bread, but it tasted worse than the clay. I also found a lock pick, a standard quill pen, several scrolls, a silver pen with black metal on the top and bottom, and rope. Lastly, there were three bottles of ink (red, green, and black).

  If this is my bag, then I’m a very strange person. What do I need colored ink for?

  When I touched the staff, I felt energy flow into me. It was my staff; it was bonded to me. I liked that I wasn’t a wizard, even though the idea of being a sorcerer felt just as wrong. Maybe I was a freak, but it was better than being something I wasn’t. I was different, which didn’t mean inferior. I could do things wizards and sorcerers couldn’t. I cared about the wolf like a wizard, and I could do something about it like a sorcerer.

  I left the room and heard Merlin yelp in pain. “Merlin?” I didn’t say it aloud; I willed him to hear my thought in his mind. “Can you hear me?”