The Complete Darkest Sunrise Series

by Martinez, Aly

  His brown eyes flicked up to mine, but he didn’t say anything.

  “Better?” I asked with a tight smile.

  He nodded and then asked, “When can I see my dad?”

  My stomach clenched, but I answered him honestly, “I don’t know.”

  His chin quivered, and his eyes filled with tears. “I want to go home.”

  Oh God.

  There was nothing I wouldn’t do to ease that pain for him.

  Even if that meant igniting my own.

  Digging in my back pocket, I retrieved my cell phone. Then I pulled up my text messages from Porter.

  The last message had been a picture he’d taken of us the night before. I was laughing, my eyes closed and my mouth wide. He was kissing my cheek, his nose smooshed against my face, and despite that his lips were puckered, he was still smiling. We’d been lying in bed when he’d told me that we needed a picture together. I’d argued because, well…it was what I did with Porter. So he’d held me down, tickled me, and then snapped the selfie when I’d been too lost in hysterics to stop him. When I’d sobered, he’d shown it to me, and it was the craziest thing. I hadn’t recognized myself. That woman was beautiful. And not in the conventional way where her hair and makeup were done to perfection, but rather because the woman in that picture looked genuinely happy.

  And the man kissing her did too.

  The truth was that, while I couldn’t think about my relationship with Porter without acknowledging the darkness, I also couldn’t think about us without remembering the overwhelming, life-altering happiness I felt when we were together.

  I’d never forget his proud grin as I’d used his phone to message the picture to myself.

  My whole body ached as I briefly looked at that woman on the screen. She’d only been gone for a matter of hours and I already missed her. I wasn’t brave enough to look at Porter. I was barely keeping my emotions in check as it was. Add his gorgeous, smiling face into the mix and I would have lost it.

  Passing the phone to Lucas, I said, “This was taken last night.”

  He looked at it for only a second as if it were merely a picture and not the most stunning image ever snapped, which was exactly the way it felt to me.

  “Are you his girlfriend?” he asked.

  I shrugged. “I think I was. But today has been pretty crazy for all of us. Look, the reason I wanted to show you this is because you know your dad. He wouldn’t just kiss anyone like that. He trusted me…” The L in Lucas was on the tip of my tongue, but I managed to stop it before it rolled off. “Travis.” I faked a smile. “He even asked me to be your doctor when we first met. And I’d like to think that he would still trust me to do what is best for you in this situation too.” A lump lodged in my throat, and my nose began to sting. I had no idea if I was lying to him or not.

  I hoped I wasn’t.

  But I was afraid I was.

  Tom and Brady were still adamant about Porter’s involvement in this.

  But the longer I thought about it, the more doubts I had. Though I recognized that those were probably just the hopes and dreams of the woman from the picture rather than reality.

  After clearing my throat, I continued. “I know you’re scared, and I know you’re overwhelmed. Because I am too. But I swear on my life I’m here for you, Travis. And despite what happened at your house today, which I will again apologize for, I think your dad would like the fact that I’m here with you too.”

  He blinked up at me, his thick black lashes fluttering as he struggled to beat back his emotions. “Do you know where he is?”

  I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I’m just as lost as you are in all of this. I don’t know what’s going on outside of this room right now or what’s going to happen when you and I leave, but I promise you I’m going to make it okay. Whatever that means. Whatever I have to do. I will make this okay.” A tear rolled down my cheek, and I quickly swiped it away. “I won’t let anything happen to you again. I swear.”

  His face softened, and his lungs still rattled far more than I would have liked, but the fear had thankfully started to fade from his eyes. “Can I text him?”

  My breath flew from my lungs, and I nervously cut my gaze to the social worker in the corner.

  She was watching us closely, but her expression held no answers. Not a hint of sure, let the boy do it or even no fucking way. She just stared at me like I was supposed to know how to handle this.

  “Please,” he whispered, drawing my gaze back to his.

  Brady would have lost his mind.

  But that text wasn’t about him.

  It wasn’t about me.

  It wasn’t even about Porter.

  It was about a scared little boy. One who, in the span of a few hours, had had his whole life flipped upside down.

  And he was my scared little boy, so there was not one thing, including the wrath of Brady Boyd, that could have stopped me from saying, “Sure.”

  His eyes lit. “Really?”

  “Of course. Go ahead. I’m not sure if he has his phone right now, but he’ll see it whenever he gets it back.”

  He smiled, big and toothy. Just like his father. And I didn’t mean Brady.

  Using one finger, he pecked out a message. His mouth stretched wider each time he glanced up at me.

  I could have spent the rest of my life in that chair, watching him grin at that screen.

  In those seconds, he looked a lot like the woman laughing in the picture, and that filled me in all the right places. I wasn’t sure if that woman was gone or not, but I’d never forget the way she felt.

  And, right then, I knew that my baby was feeling it too.

  I heard the swoosh of the send button, and then he passed me my phone back, a bright smile still dancing on his face, slow and steady breaths flowing from his lungs.

  “My sister, Hannah, would like your phone.”

  My inner smile fell flat, but the one on my lips remained strong. Tucking my phone back into my pocket, I asked, “Oh yeah?”

  “It’s purple. She loves purple.”

  “What color do you love?” I asked to change the subject.

  “Uh.” His eyes flashed around the room while he thought. “I guess green. Or maybe blue. Wait…no. Definitely green. But blue… Ugh…I don’t know.”

  God, he was cute.

  “Both are good colors.”

  “My dad likes blue.”

  My heart dipped, but I kept smiling like my mouth didn’t know how to do anything else. “You’re right. He does.”

  We stared at each other, almost like he knew he shouldn’t be talking about Porter, and he was daring me to tell him to stop.

  But I wouldn’t. I didn’t care that it felt like he was twisting a knife in my stomach. Not as long as he kept smiling at me like that.

  The door opened with a creak, and I turned to see Brady coming back in, panic in his eyes, a first aid kit in his hand.

  “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t find one that had anything more than Band-Aids in it. One of the guys went and got this out of their car.” He raked a shaky hand through his hair and asked, “What else do you need?”

  “Nothing. We’re all good now. Thanks for grabbing that though,” I said, righting myself in my chair.

  Lucas was peering up at him, his mouth in a straight line, and those nerves I’d all but erased were once again present in his ashen face.

  “He’s nervous, but I promise he’s a good guy,” I whispered to my son.

  His gaze bounced to mine. “I’m hungry. Can we go get something out of the snack machine? I saw it when they brought me in.”

  “Uh…” I drawled. “Did it have any chocolate in it?”

  “I think so.”

  “Then yes.”

  He stared at me stoically for several beats, and then that grin that healed my soul broke across his face again.

  We both stood and headed to the door, but right before we passed Brady, the world disappeared.

  The past.

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nbsp; The present.

  The happiness.

  The tears.

  The fear.

  The pain.

  The longing.

  The guilt.

  The loneliness.

  Everything was just gone.

  Well, everything except Lucas as he took my hand in his.

  I couldn’t even pretend to control them anymore. Tears sprang from my eyes, and I turned my head so he wouldn’t see them.

  Emotions I hadn’t felt in years bubbled to the surface. It was a miracle that I could figure out how to put one foot in front of the other.

  I had missed him so damn much. And there he was, holding my hand. Of his own accord.

  Doing everything I could to keep the silent sobs locked away, I allowed Lucas to lead me past Brady, who was standing with his mouth hanging open, out the door and past my mom, who was curled against Tom’s side. Their eyes filled with tears as they watched us go straight to the vending machines.

  Out of the darkness.

  And into the light.

  * * *

  It was three in the morning when my attorney, Mark Leman, led me out of the police station.

  The sky was dark, not even a star visible among the hovering clouds.

  But, at the same time, the reality was so bright it was blinding.

  “Porter!” my dad yelled, his long legs eating the distance between us, relief crinkling the corners of his green eyes.

  Tanner was right behind him, a similar expression contorting his face.

  “Where’s Hannah?” I asked.

  “At home with your mom,” Dad answered, pulling me in for a brief hug.

  The tiniest fraction of relief washed over me. At least they couldn’t take her away from me. Though I had a feeling they were still going to try.

  “Give me the latest?” Dad demanded.

  Mark sighed. “I’m going to be frank with you, Tommy. This is just the beginning. As I told Porter, the police have nothing to hold him on, but the investigation will continue over the next few days, if not weeks. He needs to cooperate to the best of his ability.”

  Dad gripped the back of his neck. “Jesus Christ. Of course he will.”

  I didn’t have much of a choice. Cooperate or lose my son forever.

  And, even if I did cooperate, the latter wasn’t off the table. An idea that felt like acid to my soul.

  I was beyond exhausted, and my head was pounding. The intermittent surges of adrenaline my body had been feeding me all night had ravaged me.

  “Where’s Travis? When can we take him home?” Dad asked.

  Now, wasn’t that the million-dollar question?

  My shoulders sagged in defeat.

  Mark looked at me, but when I found myself unable to reply, he answered for me. “Temporarily, Travis has been placed in the care of his biological parents.”

  “No fucking way!” Tanner boomed. “He doesn’t even know them.”

  Strangely enough, despite the fact that we’d been dating for over a month, I was starting to feel like I didn’t know Charlotte, either.

  I bit the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood. “Charlotte asked for an order of protection to prevent me from having any contact with Travis.”

  “What?” Dad and Tanner gasped in unison, their shock echoing my own.

  Charlotte, more than anyone else, knew exactly what my children meant to me. I had no words to adequately explain the pain of that betrayal. It seemed to be a common thread in my life when it came to women.

  “Holy hell,” Tanner breathed, gripping the back of his neck.

  Mark chimed in. “There will be a custody hearing next week to decide something long term. I’ll be honest. We don’t have much ground to work with, but we’re preparing to make a case that, given his health issues, it’s in Travis’s best interest to remain with the only father he’s ever known—at least part-time.”

  “Part-time?” Dad snarled.

  Those two syllables feeling like a one-two knockout punch. Though, when faced with the horrifying possibility of not having him at all, part-time was the only hope I had to hold on to.

  “I’m afraid so,” Mark said. “And, after talking to the family’s counsel, it doesn’t sound like the child’s parents are going to be open to this arrangement.”

  “Holy shit. Are you okay?” Tanner asked, reaching out to cup my shoulder.

  No. I wasn’t okay in any fashion. My blood was boiling, and my soul was crushed. Half of my life had been ripped away from me.

  Emotion clogged my throat. “No. I’m never going to be okay with this. That’s my son. And people just expect me to let him go because Catherine was a madwoman. That doesn’t fucking change the fact that he’s mine. He will always be mine.”

  Before I had the chance to break down completely, Tanner caught the back of my neck and stepped in front of me.

  His gaze intense and his words promising. “We’ll get him back.”

  “How?” I begged. “Please, God. Just tell me how?”

  Tanner’s face paled. “I don’t know yet. But I swear I’ll get him back for you. We’re the Reese brothers, remember? We’ll find a way.”

  “I can’t even think anymore.” Shaking my head, I cut my gaze to the ground. “I need a timeout. I need all of this to stop for a few minutes so I can figure this out.”

  Charlotte’s voice suddenly infiltrated my mind. “I need it to stop, Porter.”

  I’d only thought I understood her before that day.

  But I had no clue the hell she was living through.

  And, if I was being honest with myself, a part of my heart was happy for her that she’d found her son.

  But why did it have to be my son?

  “Come on, Porter. I’ll drive you home,” Dad said.

  “I got him,” Tanner countered. “You go ahead. Mom’s gonna be a wreck. We’ll run by my place and grab some clothes, and I’ll stay with him tonight.”

  I nodded absently.

  A few minutes later, I found my ass in Tanner’s Mercedes, the pitch-black night sky bearing down on me with the weight of a thousand lifetimes.

  “When we get to my place, you want to fight the pond?” he asked, his eyes on the road.

  “No,” I replied, digging the phone from my back pocket. The police had confiscated it from me when they’d brought me in.

  “You hungry?”

  “No.”

  “What about a drink? You want to get sloshed?”

  Pressing the power button on my phone, I kept my head down as I answered, “I could drink the entirety of Russia’s vodka supply and it wouldn’t numb me enough to handle this shit right now.”

  The light on my phone illuminated the car, and the image on my home screen gutted me. It was a picture of Travis and Hannah. He was smiling directly at the camera, happy and carefree, but she was sitting beside him, gazing up at him like he held the keys to the universe.

  My lungs caught fire as I stared at that picture, my hand gripping the phone impossibly tight, as if I could bring that moment to life.

  When my phone finished booting up, a million notifications popped up on my screen, blocking Travis’s sweet face. Hannah’s was still visible off to the side, but I could no longer see her smile. The symbolism wasn’t lost on me.

  Among the messages was a stream of texts from my mom, probably from when they had first hauled me away. Then some from my dad, one from Tanner, and a handful from the manager at The Porterhouse asking questions about the restaurant, oblivious to the rollercoaster through hell I was currently trapped on.

  I scrolled through all of them.

  Or almost all of them.

  My body turned to stone when I saw her name.

  Charlotte: Hey dad I’m with Charlotte she said she will take care of me until you can come get me. I love you. See you soon.

  My hand flew out to the side, gripping Tanner’s arm. “Stop the car!”

  “What?” Tanner asked, jerking his head in my direction.

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sp; “Stop the car!” I yelled, hope exploding in my veins. “She’s going to give him back.”

  “What?” he repeated incredulously.

  My hands shook, and a huge, manic smile pulled at my lips. “Oh God, she’s going to give him back.” I pressed on her name and lifted my phone to my ear.

  “What the hell are you talking about?” my brother asked.

  The ringing of the phone droned in my ear as I explained, “She let Travis text me. Said she’d take care of him until I could get there to pick him up.”

  When her voicemail picked up, I hit end and then immediately hit send again. It started ringing all over again.

  “Porter, stop,” Tanner whispered, pulling off to the side of the road.

  Her voicemail picked up again, and this time, I decided to leave a message.

  “Hey, sweetheart. I just got Travis’s text.”

  “Porter. Stop,” Tanner urged, trying to grab my phone.

  Leaning away, I smacked his hand. “God, baby. What a fucking day.” I blew out a hard breath. “I’m on my way now. Tell Travis I love him. Actually…Christ, I love both of you.” I paused and lowered my voice. “Stay out of the darkness until I get there, Charlotte. I swear on my life I had no idea he was your son. I promise we’ll figure this out.” I hit end and dropped the phone into my lap, a renewed faith blazing inside me. “All right. Let’s go. She lives up north, near the hospital. I’ll tell you how to get there.”

  Tanner didn’t put the car into drive. He sat there, staring at the steering wheel. “She’s not just going to give him back to you.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about? Yes. She is. Here—read the text.” I lifted my phone in his direction.

  But, when he turned to look at me, his painful gaze was aimed over it. “You heard Mark. They filed an order with the court to keep you away from him.”

  “So she changed her mind,” I argued. “She let him text me, Tanner. That means something.”

  His jaw was hard as he shook his head. “Yeah. It does. But it could mean a lot of things. Maybe she had a weak moment. Maybe Travis jacked her phone and sent it behind her back. There could be a million different maybes about why she did it. But the only thing I know for sure is that she’s not giving him back.”