Okay. Maybe I hadn’t thought this through.
I put my hands up, trying to placate them. “Let’s talk about this.”
Noe seethed. “Now you wanna talk?” His eyes lowered dangerously. “Now?”
A knock at the door followed by a gaggle of women speaking loudly made me sigh.
I didn’t want to deal with this right now. Lee pushed off the fridge and opened the door. The Vixens strode in and they looked mad as hell.
Cherry lunged for me, speaking through gritted teeth. “You fucking prick.” Hell swooped in and held her back. She struggled in his hold. “She’s just a girl! What did she do to you?” Huffing, Cherry croaked, “What did she ever do to you, Connor?”
She made me fall in love with her.
Beth, ever the peacemaker of the Vixens, placed a hand on Cherry’s shoulder. “Maybe we should let him explain.”
Ettie glared at me. “Sure.” Her grin was malicious. “Go ahead, Connor. Explain.”
Pearl looked at the other guys, worried. “Emmy just heard the song.”
Noah shot up, his eyes anxious. “Where is she?”
Cherry shrugged out of Hell’s hold. “In her room.” She looked me up and down before heading to the fridge and taking out an energy drink. “Crying.”
I swallowed hard. Oh, I did not like that.
But this was for the best.
That night, I was this close to telling her I loved her.
Didn’t anybody understand?
I was Connor Clash.
I had a reputation to uphold.
Emmy did not fit with me. She was ruining everything.
Wrong.
You ruined everything.
Whatever. She didn’t belong here. Not with me. Not with us. So I did what I needed to see her gone.
When the door swung open, everybody turned to face it. Emmy stood there, hugging herself. She looked so small and when she shuffled into the room, eyes bloodshot, tearing up, and she asked me one question.
“Why?”
Her injured tone, her woeful appearance, it was torture.
The whispered word was enough to set me off.
“What?” I chuckled. “Don’t tell me you thought you were special.”
It was harsh. Harsh was good. It was also a lie but she need never know that.
She was special.
Fuck, she was everything.
Her face crumpled and she lifted both hands to cover her face as her shoulders shook.
My anger spiked. “Emmy, we fucked. That’s all.”
She lowered her hands, I watched her tears trail her cheeks and fall to the floor. She shook her head. “No, it wasn’t, and you know it, Connor.”
I can’t believe she was calling me out. She was definitely stronger than I thought.
I scoffed nastily. “So we had a couple of stolen moments.” I shrugged blasé-like. “Don’t make it out to be more than it was, baby.”
She balled her fists but her voice was weak. “It was more than that.”
This was killing me. I felt ill. I needed to end this now.
“What do you want me to say, Emmy? That I liked feeling how desperate you were for attention?” My voice rose. “That I like knowing I’m the only one whose had that pussy?” And then I was yelling so loud the veins in my neck bulged. “You were nothing but a distraction!”
“No,” she cried, her body quaking. She stomped her foot and yelled, “Stop it!”
My heart squeezed when I put the nail in the coffin. “What did you think, that I loved you or something?” I sniffed heartlessly. “Baby, please. You were hardly writing inspiration.”
The room was silent and I’d done what I needed to.
Yeah.
But at what cost?
It didn’t matter.
Ignoring how badly I hurt on the inside, I stepped back, away from her. I disregarded every instinct that told me to go over, take Emmy into my arms, and beg for forgiveness. What was done was done. It was over.
What was she going to do now?
Where would she go?
The moment I got into my room, I shut the door behind me and punched the wall as hard as I could but I felt nothing.
Running a hand down my pale face, a better question assaulted my mind.
How am I going to live without her?
Later that night, Emmy had gone. I know this because the suite was empty then hours later, the door opened, the guys returned and Lee started throwing shit.
“Fucking bullshit,” he roared. “Noe, talk to your boy, because I swear to God I’m this close to grabbing my shit and leaving.”
Hell broke in with, “We’re at the end of the tour, dude. We got a show tonight.”
Lee returned, “Fuck the tour! It’s drama, drama, drama with his moody ass. I’m done with this shit.” Lee’s voice got farther away. “If I wanted drama, I’d join a fucking frat house, bitches.”
The door slammed.
Nobody spoke a while then Hell broke the silence. “You think she’s okay?”
A long sigh then, “No, Hell, I don’t think she’s okay.” He paused then added a quiet, “I think we broke her.”
Lying on my bed with a crushed soul and blackened heart, I ignored the knock at my door.
The hinges squeaked when it opened. “Hey.”
My mood soured immediately. “I’m not in the mood, Noe.”
Noah returned instantly, “Think Emmy was in the mood for the shit you pulled today?”
I licked my lips, staring up at the ceiling. “She gone?”
He huffed out a long breath. “Yep.” A second passed then, “Happy now?”
“Doesn’t bother me.” I was dying on the inside.
Noah sniggered. “Sure, it doesn’t.”
My hackles rose and I pushed up on my elbows to look at him. “You got something to say, Noe?”
He stared at me a long moment before he uttered a cold, “I saw you.”
With a sigh, I threw my head back on the bed. “I’m really not in the mood for riddles so if you got something on your mind, say it or get out.”
Noah stepped into the room. “I saw you. You were different with her.” I didn’t want to hear it but he kept going. “I saw the way you looked at her when you thought no one was watching. I saw the way she made you laugh. I saw you be gentle with someone for the first time in your miserable life.” He paused. “Until today.”
What did he want me to say, that I was a heartless asshole?
My lids closed and I relished the darkness it afforded. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure. Tell the world you don’t care. Tell us you don’t care. I know what I saw.” He uttered a solemn, “She loved you and I have no problem telling you that you don’t deserve her, you selfish prick.” From the corner of my eye, I saw him take a step backward. “And because of you, that sweet girl and her grandmother are out on the street. Well done, Clash,” he stated matter-of-factly. “That’s low, even for you.”
When I heard what he said, my head snapped up. “What?”
“What was it you said?” Noe smiled spitefully. “Oh yeah.” He moved to shut the door. “Doesn’t bother you.”
I sat on my bed a long while and the silence began to turn on me.
Jesus Christ.
What the hell had I done?
Chapter Twenty-Two
Changes.
Emmy
From my place on the end of the black leather sofa, I sat in my pajamas with a heavy blanket wrapped around me. I just couldn’t seem to get warm enough. Probably because I was still disoriented.
I had been through a lot of crap in my life and nothing rocked me the way this had. I guess it hurt more because I was blindsided.
Cherry stepped out of the kitchen and placed a smoothie in front of me. I blinked down at it. “I’m not hungry.”
She bit into her toast. “I know you’re not but yo
u’re going to drink that, okay?”
I felt like a petulant child and let out a small sigh. “Okay.”
It had been a week since “Virgin Tears” was released. A week since I’d been back home in California. My first night back, I found my way home only to realize I didn’t have one anymore.
Once on my old doorstep with my luggage, I stilled at the gate then turned right. When I knocked on the door, it took him a while to answer, and before he even got to me, I was weeping quietly, ashamed of where I’d allowed myself to be led by a beautiful rock star.
Jim answered the door and the moment he saw me, his eyes lit up. But then he focused on my tears and when he spoke, everything inside me ached to feel well again. “Oh, Em, sweetheart. Come here.” He held out his arms to me. “Come to Pawpaw.”
Jim held me a long time and I breathed him in. He smelled familiar, like spicy cologne and mint candies, and I never realized just how comforting that smell was until now. When I explained I’d left my job and had nowhere to stay, as per usual, he came to my rescue, allowing me stay in his home for as long as I needed.
But two days after my return, my cell phone rang.
Amber Calling…
I didn’t answer.
Ping.
I checked the message and after I read it, a small smile broke through the sadness.
Amber: I know you don’t want to talk but you have to! You’ve looked after my child and looked after me when I was pregnant and that kind of makes us sisters. I don’t want to guilt you but look at this face. Tom wants you to talk to me. Please talk to me!!! Sisters For LIFE! :(
Underneath was a photo of baby Tom and he looked miserable.
I immediately called her.
“Hey, honey,” Amber cooed. “Where are you?”
And with a deep sigh, I explained my current shit storm of a situation and where I was staying. Two hours later, Micah and Amber were at Jim’s door. Jim answered the door in security mode and when he turned to me, an adorably firm questioning glance on his face, I nodded to let them in.
The moment they stepped inside, Jim announced, “There will be no upsetting my granddaughter.” He glared at them. “She’s already been through enough. I won’t stand for it, you hear?”
To my amused surprise, both Amber and Micah lowered their heads submissively, and uttered, “Yes, sir.” After Jim was sure the two of them weren’t a couple of ne’er-do-wells, we were left alone to talk.
I showed them to the sofa and we all took a seat. An awkward silence followed before Amber blurted out, “Can I just say that your grandfather is a total fox?”
Oh, God. Amber was so silly. I loved her.
Chuckling quietly, I explained, “He’s more like my adopted grandfather. Jim and I aren’t blood related. He just has a habit of saving me when I need it.”
I hadn’t meant to sound as pathetic as I obviously did.
After a long moment, Micah shook his head. “I can’t believe he did this.” He put his hands to his mouth and closed his eyes before sighing. “I am so sorry, Emily.”
“Don’t,” I said. “Don’t apologize for him. No one is responsible for what Connor does apart from Connor. And quite frankly,” I told them, “I blame myself.” With a humorless chuckle, I uttered, “That’s what I get for falling in love with a rock star.”
Amber face fell. “You loved him?” She recoiled and put a hand to her chest. “That’s even worse.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s over now. Time to move on.” Yes, it was.
“That’s actually why we’re here,” Micah turned to his wife before peering back at me. “You need a job and we might actually have something for you.”
It should have been good news to me, great news, but I instantly cringed. “No more rock stars. Please. I think I’ve had enough to last me a lifetime.”
Also, once bitten, twice shy.
Could you blame me?
At that, Amber laughed fondly. “Well, you know these rockettes, pretty well actually. And they love you to death. Unfortunately, their manager is on maternity leave, and right now, there’s a role to fill.” She tilted her head. “An unusual one but a high-paying job, nonetheless.”
Did she say high-paying job?
Okay. Maybe that got my attention.
I tried to look as blasé as possible. “Tell me more.”
Amber grinned. “The Ultra Violet Vixens want you, and my sister has been trying to get a hold of you for days.” She mock-scowled. “But somebody isn’t answering her phone.”
Her sister? “Your sister?”
“Yeah.” Amber nodded. “Remember I told you all my sisters are assholes?” I nodded and she stated, “I don’t think you’ll be too surprised to hear that Cherry is my baby sis.”
Holy crap. Now that I looked at Amber closely, I could totally see the resemblance, and then it hit me. “You’re their manager.”
She nodded. “Sure am, honey. Started out at the bottom and worked my way to the top, with the help of my adoring husband, of course. But now that Tom has come along, I just don’t have the time I used to. So, here’s what we’re proposing.” She glanced at her husband before explaining. “We’ll manage them together, you and I. You’ll be front of house and I’ll do my part from home.”
My brow furrowed. “I don’t know the first thing about managing a band.”
Micah grinned. “But we do. Between Amber and I, we’ll teach you everything we know.”
I was so confused.
Why? Why were they doing this?
“Guys, what’s really going on here?”
Neither responded a while but when Micah spoke, I felt his words deeply. “I’m partly responsible for what happened to you. I hired you. Maybe I feel beholden. I don’t know. I guess I feel guilty and I want to make it up.”
Amber put her hands up in front of her in silent prayer. “Come on, Emmy. Say yes.”
Had the air suddenly turned itchy in here?
I scratched at my neck as anxiety filled me. “I don’t know. Honestly, the idea of being out in the open, exposed to the public, especially after the song coming out… I don’t know if I can do that again.”
“Well, funny you should say that,” Amber stated happily. “You know everything with The Vixens is a gimmick, right? Their look, their sound, it’s all to draw the eye without actually revealing what’s underneath. Do you think if you saw my sister without all the leather and her purple locks that you’d recognize her?”
I thought about it. “Probably not.”
“And that’s exactly what we’re going to do with you. I promise you, after the makeover I have planned, no one will recognize you.” Then she said the magic words. “Especially Connor.”
I was clearly insane. Why else would I be considering this?
My lips puckered. “How much does it pay?”
Micah reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. When he handed it to me, my eyes widened at the huge sum written there. I closed my mouth so quickly my teeth clicked.
Without hesitating, I uttered, “I want the job.”
If Connor Clash thought I’d be a simpering mess for the rest of my life, he had another think coming. After all, great wounds made for a greater glory, and this particular wound may never heal but I would not stop living my life.
I would rise up from the ashes and show the world my feathers.
Tone it down some, Emmy.
Right. Okay.
Truth was, I was not the same Emily I had been when I left home three months ago. I was braver, stronger, and smarter.
In fact, I should probably thank Connor for the life lesson. He definitely taught me a thing or two.
Amber’s eyes widened. “Excellent!” She smacked her husband in the chest with the back of her hand. “See? I told you she’d listen.”
Micah smiled, looking mildly relieved. “You’re hired. You’ll have a month to prepare and then we’ll let you loos
e.”
Amber blinked innocently. “Also, how do you feel about latex?”
It was a strange question. Stranger still that it didn’t freak me out as much as it should’ve. And this was how I ended up being housemates with Cherry.
The day I left Jim’s house, I couldn’t hold in my tears. And although his voice shook, he looked down at me and asked, “You’re not crying, are you?”
I shook my head but my response was faint. “No, sir.”
“Good,” he said gruffly. “No room for sissies at this table.”
And I laughed before throwing my arms around him. Jim was the only man I could rely on and I loved him dearly.
“Yo,” Cherry said and I snapped my gaze to hers. She jerked her chin. “Drink it.”
So much had happened. The memories would last me a lifetime. Many good, only some bad. I had to consider myself fortunate to have experienced so much in a short time. But overall, I was trying to move on and I needed to look after myself. For once, I was my first priority. I picked up the smoothie and sipped at it. When I spoke, I did I gently. “Thank you, for everything.”
Cherry side-eyed me then scoffed. “Don’t thank me yet. My sister’s coming over with your new wardrobe, and after you see it—” Her eyes widened. “—I don’t think you’ll feel much like thanking me.”
Uh oh. Why did my stomach hurt so suddenly?
“Why’s that?”
Cherry licked her lips, smirking. “You’ll see.”
And an hour later, I did see.
“I am not wearing that.” The words came out slow yet firm.
Amber looked down at the tiny latex dress before looking back up at me. “Why not? It’s hot.”
I blinked at her. “It’s obscene. I would never wear that.”
“Exactly,” she said with a nod. “But The Violet Dame would.”
My nose bunched. Did I even want to ask? “Who is The Violet Dame?”
“You are,” she said excitedly. “That’s your character, our gimmick. You are The Violet Dame. Badass manager of The Ultra Violet Vixens. The Dame is—” She counted them off on one hand. “—sexy, she’s witty, she’s smart as a whip, and—” Amber’s eyes widened. “—everyone is going to want to know who she is.” She put her arms out by her side. “Alas, The Violet Dame is uber private. No one knows a damned thing about her.” She smiled. “And that’s why she’s going to be an instant hit.”
Clash Page 22
