Love Notes

by Savannah Kade

  “Mine.”

  Then he laughed. “I’ve never tried women’s underwear before. Today is not the day for it.”

  She smiled until the right side of her face protested with a shooting pain. That was enough to wipe the expression from her. TJ came at her, worried, but she held up her hand to ward him off.

  Walking back to the armoire, she reached in to produce a pack of the briefs just like the one she had tugged on. “I happen to have a brand new pair.”

  “I can’t wear what fits you. But thanks.”

  “Men’s thirty-six. Medium.”

  “Maybe.” He reached out and pulled the package from her hands. “How would you wear these?”

  She shrugged and pointed at her own pair. “Your waist, my hips.”

  Norah crawled across the bed while TJ turned behind her. “Thank you.”

  She nodded and started to slide under the covers. She felt like crap. But she felt better, fresher, lighter, now.

  His hands were there, pulling the covers up over her and tucking her in. It made her want to smile. “Why are you sleeping in the hall?”

  He stood, taller now that she was lying in bed below him. “Your Dad offered the couch but I knew I couldn’t sleep there. So I grabbed some blankets and camped out in the corner. I think I slept a little. You?”

  “Still trying.” He hadn’t answered her question, but she felt a yawn coming and fought it, knowing it would hurt her jaw.

  “Good night, Norah.”

  “’Night, TJ.” She snuggled deep, knowing he would hit the lights as he went.

  The room darkened beyond her eyelids, and she heard him go into the bathroom. When he closed the door, for a few scary seconds the room went completely black and she panicked.

  Forcing her breathing to slow, Norah talked herself down. She had been attacked. She admitted it. It had been in broad daylight. TJ had come. He had run her attacker off. He was here, just beyond the door. She was safe. In her own bed, in her own home.

  She didn’t remember the sounds of the door opening, or the light coming back through. She didn’t hear TJ shuffling in the hallway. She just slipped away.

  She was jogging on the track, only this time Norah felt a horrible sense of foreboding. Her sleeping brain screamed at her to leave. The arms came around her again. She fought like she was in jello. Her blows landed but only made the dark eyes laugh.

  Forever, he pulled her into the trees, for every inch she gained toward the track he pulled her two away. He talked to her the whole time, saying foul things he wanted to do. He crushed her lungs to keep her from screaming. Her sleeping brain said TJ would come.

  But he didn’t.

  The man pinned her down and began to do what he’d said.

  “Baby.” The voice came at a distance. TJ’s voice, but he wasn’t there. “Baby, please, wake up. Norah, wake up.”

  I am awake! She wanted to scream, but she couldn’t produce the sounds. Where are you?

  “I’m right here. Wake up, please.”

  Slowly, she forced her eyelids open to see TJ sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked worried and worn out. “Are you all right?”

  She shook her head, and felt the tears. “I keep dreaming it. I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes it happens again.”

  “I know. Me, too.” His hands went into his already rumpled hair. “I’ve heard you tossing and turning in here. This time you were crying out.”

  Norah sat up, not caring about the burn the movement produced in her right side. “This was worse. It was all the same, but you didn’t come. You didn’t come.”

  She felt herself dissolve, and had no idea where she went.

  Later she found herself in his arms, her legs still tucked under the covers, him still sitting on the edge of the bed. His voice whispering. “It’s okay, you fought him off.”

  “I know that you came.” Her breath came in and out in sharp pains. “I know it didn’t happen, but when I fall asleep . . .”

  Her fingers wound into the soft white t-shirt he wore, her breathing heaving constantly against the wounds to her ribs. She dug her fingers deeper into the cotton knit, refusing to let him leave. “Stay.”

  He nodded. “Until you fall asleep.”

  She shook her head. “Just stay. If I wake up, you’ll be there. I’ll try not to interrupt your sleep.”

  He nodded, and stood, for a moment petrifying her that he would leave.

  But he didn’t. He walked around to the other side of the bed, “Is this okay?” He motioned to taking off the scrub pants, revealing the blue men’s underwear he had taken earlier.

  Norah nodded. Discreetly, he slid off the pants and slipped under the covers beside her but so far away. Ignoring the pain it caused to do so, Norah scooted over closer to him, using his own words. “Is this okay?”

  His arms opened toward her. He moved nearer to the middle of the bed and put his shoulder under her head. She was immediately grateful. She felt her body relax for the first time since . . . she didn’t even know. She’d been uptight since at least all weekend.

  She hadn’t been speaking to him. And with good cause, but protecting her heart from doing something stupid was a lot lower on her list now. Sleep was higher. And he smelled so good, like heat and comfort and him.

  Norah had thought she’d drift off right away, but something kept bothering her, making her squirm. TJ finally asked. “What?”

  “My ribs.” She was lying on the broken ribs, and figured the drugs had to be pretty good if she wasn’t smart enough to get off them.

  “Roll over.” He motioned with his hand, and she slowly flipped in place.

  TJ curled his arm under her head and curled himself up behind her. “Okay?”

  “Yes.” The sound came out on a sigh as she leaned back into him. Needing the contact, and knowing that she could sleep with him right there.

  His arm was restless, pausing across her waist, her shoulders, her thigh. Never touching down in one place.

  It was the only thing keeping her from sleep, she was sure. “What?”

  “I don’t know where to put it. I can’t think of a single place that isn’t cut or bruised.” Then he made a soft noise and his fingers found her hair. Slowly he combed them through, then started at the top again. Over and over, the motion both relaxing and peaceful.

  Her eyes fell shut and this time her body let go of every tight muscle, she felt herself falling asleep, her breathing even and getting deeper. But it took so long.

  She heard his voice, low, behind her and struggled through the fog of exhaustion and drugs to hear what he was saying, and why it was so beautiful. Her brain put the pieces together, picking out the notes of This Ordinary Man.

  Just before she fell asleep, Norah wondered if he sang it because it was a good lullaby and he knew she liked it, or if maybe he meant it.

  Chapter 49

  TJ hadn’t recognized the number when it showed up on his cell phone. But he was glad now that he picked up. Even more glad that he hadn’t taken anything stronger than a Tylenol this morning.

  Norah’s father had handed her a fistful of medications and she had happily swallowed them. But TJ had taken one look at the older man and assessed his fighting ability and lifting strength and found him sorely lacking. Even knowing it was irrational, he hadn’t taken the painkillers. He wanted to be able to drive if need be, and certainly to physically fend off all comers.

  He couldn’t think of a single thing that could happen here at the house, but he never would have predicted yesterday in a million years. He wondered if his old self who had partied and missed appointments at the gym all the time would have even shown up yesterday to be useful. Then he remembered that she wouldn’t have started going to the track if she hadn’t been helping him. He’d talked her back into going . . .

  TJ shook his head, trying desperately not to connect a chain of evidence to incriminate himself. The nurses had warned him about that, the few times he said it was his fault. They were ri
ght, it wasn’t. But knowing it didn’t ease the guilt taking bites at his heart.

  Norah’s father took the day off from work, then asked if he could run a few quick errands while the two of them stayed at the house. TJ agreed to stay, thinking it was funny that he’d gotten a formal invite when he had no intention of going anywhere. Not until Norah wanted him to. At least her Dad had seemed okay with that.

  When her father left, TJ was glad he hadn’t taken the drugs. The pain didn’t matter so much. He and Norah had curled up on the couch, her in his arms, and fallen asleep. He kept nodding off then coming around, his ribs would protest when she moved, his leg tensed behind her. But he didn’t wake her. She had slept soundly after he’d curled up beside her last night, and he’d slept better, too.

  He’d only pried himself away when his phone rang, and was now glad that he’d answered. Norah started tossing, there in the corner of the couch where he’d set her at great pains to himself. Her voice came out in small mews and TJ rushed to gather her in his arms and shush her. He took no small satisfaction in the fact that she had calmed almost immediately when he touched her.

  As he worked himself around to a more comfortable position, his hand stroked her hair. Wanting to squeeze her tighter, but knowing it would hurt her, he decided right then to take her father’s advice. When she was healed, he would tell her what he felt.

  It was probably about a month away, but he wanted to wait. Knowing that it would be difficult to keep his hands off her if she wanted anything at all to do with him resolved him to the time. He didn’t want to hurt her, and he didn’t want her thinking about the man who had hurt her when it was his own hands on her.

  A month.

  He could survive a month.

  In that month he could do everything in his power to make sure she said ‘yes’ when he asked.

  A car pulled into the driveway, and TJ cranked his sore neck around to see Mr. Davidson pull up. With a sigh, he resigned himself that it was time. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled. “Norah, baby, wake up.”

  “Hmmm?” Her voice rolled, sweet and stronger than yesterday, through his senses.

  “Wake up baby, I have to go—”

  “What? No.” She bolted upright, and grabbed at the cotton t-shirt he was still wearing. “Please stay.”

  He grabbed at her wrists, simply holding her there, where her hands had fisted into the shirt. “I’m just going for a few hours. Your Dad is here.” He leaned closer. “I promise I’ll be back.”

  She nodded, her breathing relaxing a bit, her hands uncurling from his shirt as her Dad came through the front door. He was burdened with bags, but didn’t miss the scene in front of him. “Everything okay?”

  “Yes, Daddy. TJ said he was leaving, but it’s only for a little bit. He’ll be back tonight.”

  “Of course, honey.” Her father continued his path through to the kitchen then went out for another load. This time when he came in, he addressed TJ. “Will you be staying for lunch?”

  “No. I have to go now.” He kissed the top of Norah’s head and pulled his keys from one of a neat series of nails hammered beside the front door. He thanked Mr. Davidson and took the painful steps down the front walk to the car.

  The seats were still bloody although it had dried and turned dark. For a moment he stared, knowing that both seats had both her blood and his, and also her attacker’s. He slid in, thinking he might leave it there for a while, to remind him of how he was going to make that man suffer.

  TJ pulled out of the driveway and drove into town. He’d intended to head straight to the police station, but found himself getting more and more angry as he drove and, knowing his anger would do no one any good, he made a turn and headed for JD’s.

  He was on his brother’s doorstep in no time, knocking and not sure what sight he presented when JD pulled the door wide. TJ spoke first. “I need you. Now. Maybe for several hours.”

  A hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. JD used surprise and leverage to haul his brother inside the front entry and close the door behind him. “TJ, you look like you lost a bar fight against the whole bar and then slept in your clothes. What happened?”

  Again it was hard to put voice to it and he chose the simplest words he could. “Norah got attacked at the track yesterday. She fought him off.”

  “And so did you?”

  He nodded.

  “How does Norah look?”

  “Worse.”

  JD took a step away, looking like he didn’t want to leave his little brother alone even for a second, and hollered up the stairs. “Kelsey! I have to go out with TJ now. I’ll be back in a few hours maybe.”

  Her voice carried from around the corner as TJ heard her approaching and protesting. “No, I’m going shopping with Bridget, she got a sitter and— . . . What happened?”

  Her eyes went wide as she looked him up and down. He repeated exactly what he said to JD.

  In that moment JD pulled his startled wife into his arms in a fierce hug, his breathing clearly tight. Whispered words that weren’t intended to be heard carried from where his brother had buried his face in his wife’s hair. “Kelse, is it wrong for me to be glad that it wasn’t you?”

  Kelsey kissed him and stepped back, leaving TJ watching the scene with a gaping hole of jealousy in him. He’d always felt it, that’s why he’d been so awful to his brother sometimes. TJ didn’t want Kelsey, but he’d wanted someone who loved him like that. Norah admitted her envy from day one. TJ, of course, had been slower.

  Kelsey looked at him. “I’ll call Bridget and we’ll reschedule. You two go do whatever you need to do.”

  “Thank you.” Turning from the scene, TJ pulled open the heavy front door and led his brother down the steps to the car.

  Startled by the blood when he opened the passenger door, JD looked again at his brother. “What the hell happened?”

  “He had a knife. Bastard cut her clothes off her.” Again the words clogged his throat.

  “Did he . . .?”

  Even JD couldn’t say it, and TJ felt the combination of rage and helplessness boil up in him again.

  “No. I got there just in time. Just in time.” Still it scared him. If he had been a minute later, or hadn’t looked toward the trees . . . “It’s not wrong to be glad it wasn’t Kelsey. I’d have been glad if it wasn’t Norah.”

  “Let me drive.” JD hit a button on his keychain and opened the garage door. They climbed into the huge SUV and JD asked where they were going.

  “The police station. They have someone and want me to come ID him.”

  “Oh shit.”

  But TJ shook his head. This wasn’t ‘Oh shit’. “No, I’m just praying that it’s him. Not some other fool they picked up.”

  His brother looked him up and down. “Can we go by your house first? Maybe you should shower, calm down, change clothes.”

  TJ nodded and JD made the turn, heading the short distance to the subdivision. “I can’t shower. Too many stitches in too many places. But I can wash up and change. I’m wearing Norah’s underwear.”

  “I didn’t need to know that.”

  TJ laughed just a little at that, glad for the release of tension, not having realized what he had said. “She dances in men’s boxer briefs sometimes, she had a spare pair.”

  “Sure, sure, little brother.”

  TJ laughed again. Then the knot in his chest loosened just a touch. “Thank you.”

  JD’s hand lifted from the gear shift and came out to grab his, “Any time.”

  TJ had to put a manual code into his gate to get it to open, then spent only the necessary time scrubbing himself up and combing his hair, before packing an overnight bag.

  JD came in while he was throwing the last things into the bag. “Did I see a lock box on the front door?”

  Nodding, TJ zipped the bag and lifted it by the handles, knowing better than to try to use the strap on his battered shoulders. “I put the house on the market.”

  “Why?” />
  “It’s just a house.” He shrugged the best he could. “I need a home.”

  Speculating even as he opened the side door to the garage, JD climbed into the driver’s seat, “And someone to live there with you.”

  “That may be getting ahead of myself.” TJ started then, breathing evenly, knowing what was ahead, and steeling himself for any outcome.

  They were almost there when JD asked, “What are you thinking?”

  “That if I grab a gun from a nearby holster and empty a clip into him, it will be too humane and only land me in jail. I’m hanging on to that thought pretty tight right now.”

  “I won’t let you.”

  “I know.” TJ tried to let out a breath, to let out some tension. “I think that’s why I came and got you.”

  Without speaking, they parked and walked through the metal detectors at the front entrance. After checking in at the front desk, they were led to a back room with a few chairs lined against one wall and a large window looking into a room with height rulings painted across the back. TJ knew they were on the viewing side of a two-way mirror.

  He braced himself for whatever came. A female officer told them that the police thought they might have him but were getting witnesses to ID the man before they went any further.

  That was one of the few things he hadn’t been prepared for. Hot rage went through him that someone had seen and not helped. He clenched his fists at his side, knowing there was no place to strike out. “Witnesses?”

  The officer nodded, her hair pulled back in a severe braid. “Your girlfriend was the seventh that we know of. He’s raped six women since January. Again, that we know of.”

  TJ would have felt better if she’d just slugged him in the gut. And he must have looked like it.

  “Breathe.” Her hand came to his shoulder and so did JD’s. He shook them both off, maybe just a little too violently.

  Waiting until he got it together, she then spoke into the radio clipped to her shoulder. “Bring them in.”

  TJ stood, still focusing on breathing, and felt skin before he realized he’d reached out and clenched his brother’s hand.