Every Storm

by Lori Wick

  Cora and her husband, Leonard, also had three sons, all grown phd gone from home. Like Max, Arlene was the baby and a senior high school. Her father was the principal at school. He was Unfailingly kind and fair, and the student body loved him. He had t way with young people, and Lorri, without even realizing it, was lore open with him than she'd been with her own family. It didn't happen until after dinner when they were settled on : back porch with tall glasses of iced tea. Leonard began to ask |Uestions pf Lorri, and she found herself sharing, barely awarethe other four people who sat and listened in silence. "What's the hardest part about being back?" Leonard asked

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  "Being here without Josie. I don't think I realized just how iluch we'd done together. I can probably count on two hands the les we slept away from home and weren't together."

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  "Did you ever think about the changes that would come with her marriage?"

  "Yes, but thinking about something and living it are two different things, don't you think?"

  "Yes, they are different. I was just curious if the two of you ever discussed it."

  "Not really. I often told her I envied her, and she usually told me it was just a matter of time and I'd be caught as well."

  Leonard smiled.

  "Is that what she called it, being caught?"

  Lorri smiled back.

  "Ken always said that he chased Josie until she caught him." Lorri sighed, "They were so perfect for each other."

  "Howisthat?"

  "Both so kind and caring."

  "Who's perfect for you?"

  Lorri's smile slanted a little.

  "I don't know, I guess that's the other hard part. I think Josie should be the one to still be here."

  "Because she had a fianceT'

  "Yes. Even more hearts are involved where Josie is concerned. Ken and his whole family will grieve for her."

  "And they wouldn't have grieved for you?"

  Lorri looked surprised by this. 1 "You didn't think of that, did you?"

  Lorri could only shake her head, her face full of amazement.

  "If Josie were here, she'd be in the same pain that you are right now," Leonard explained gently. "As would Ken. As would his whole family."

  Lorri was speechless. Such a thing had never occurred to her.

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  "You still count, Lorraine. You still matter. You're here because God has a plan. It won't erase all the pain you feel over losing your sister, but you mustn't forget that you're vital to Max and your mother right now. They wouldn't trade you for anything."

  "But I wish they could," Lorri admitted, her voice catching a little. "I wouldn't want them to have to choose, but I wish God had. I wish the plan had included Josie and not me."

  "All the wishing in the world won't change the way things are. I think God understands how you feel; in fact, I'm sure of it, but don't spend too much time telling God He made a mistake. It's a waste of time and energy, especially energy. Trying to do God's job is exhausting. We're just not equipped for it."

  Lorri looked him in the eye.

  "Every student at Harmony Hills High, School, past and present, loves you. Do you know that?"

  "I love them," he said simply and then smiled widely, his eyes holding hers. "Some I love more than others."

  Lorri smiled, feeling tears pricking at the back of her eyes but ; determined not to give in to them. She glanced around and realized how she'd monopolized the conversation.

  "This wasn't very polite of me," she began but stopped when She read the faces around the patio. They needed this too. Her mother looked ready to cry, but then she'd been warned about that.

  "Dp you feel bad, Mother," Lorri had to know, "that I haven't 'shared more of this with you?"

  "No, dear. I really am ready to wait for you."

  "Well, I want to know everything, for heaven's sake!" Max suddenly burst out, sounding so aggrieved and angry at herself that the company had to laugh.

  "What's so funny about that?" Max asked, still frowning. "I should be scolded or something, and you're all laughing."

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  "It's your honesty, Max," Leonard told her. "It's so refreshing."

  When the laughter died down, the sisters looked at each other, Max very contrite.

  "I'm sorry, Raine."

  "Don't be, Max. I'll get there. I'll tell you. I just might need a little more time."

  "Don't listen to my complaining anymore, Raine." Max was frowning again. "I need to be spanked."

  Lorri could only smile at her, and Max couldn't help but smile back. Cora felt as though she could move for the first time.

  "More iced tea, anyone?" she asked.

  They all wanted refills, and the timing was just right. While Cora did the honors, Arlene hummed a song that got Lorri singing. One song led to another and Lorri sang-usually alone-for nearly 30 minutes.

  Max and Ruth were utterly silent. It was the first time they'd heard her in more than four years. If asked, they would have said they could have gone on listening all night.

  Buddy was oblivious. Asleep on the kitchen floor, dead to the world, he had no idea that his tail had been spotted as the enemy. Muffin was approaching, turned to the side, back arched and hair on end, ready to pounce. She didn't expect to be caught.

  "Muffin!" Lorri scolded her, bringing the kitten to a halt but no more relaxed. Her eyes a little wild and still on the hunt, Muffin went swiftly back to the tail.

  Just coming on the scene, Max laughed so hard that she woke Buddy, who moved his tail and foiled the whole episode.

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  The women kept on laughing when Muffin attempted to look innocent. Buddy sniffed her, and she actually began to purr.

  "What a fake," Max complained. "She was about to get you, Buddy."

  The dog, loving any attention from Max, went to her, tail wagging. Not to be left out, Muffin curled around one of Buddy's legs, her motor still running.

  "Have you been crying?" Max asked, suddenly spotting what her sister was doing at the kitchen table. Around her lay discarded tissues, and in front of her was a small staek of envelopes.

  "I'm writing to the children. It's harder than I thought."

  "A separate letter to each one?"

  "Yes. I want them to know how proud I am of them." Tears filled her eyes, but she kept on. "I want to remind them of all their progress and how much Josie and I loved being their teachers.'*

  "Mr. Colins said you could go back." Max had taken a seat across from her sister, Muffin on her lap. "Will you go?"

  "No," Lorri said with a definitive shake of her head. "I don't think I could do it without Josie, and I really don't want to try."

  "I'm glad, Raine. I don't want you to be gone again."

  Lorri smiled across at her.

  "You're going to be the first to go. School starts in a little over a week."

  "You have to remind me." Max's sigh was dramatic, her head going back. Lorri could only laugh at her. "It's not funny, Raine. Mother hasn't started on my clothes, and I know the year is going to last forever."

  "Do you know what I just realized?" Lorri said, sitting up very straight. "Josie has some clothes that would look perfect on you."

  Max looked a little shocked, so Lorri rushed on.

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  "You don't have to go through the whole trunk, Max, but let me get her dresses and skirts out. Over the years, we found some very cute clothes in Australia."

  "What about you? Don't you want to wear them?"

  "I'm shaped a little differently than you and Josie. And I'm not as tall. We never traded clothes much. It just didn't work."

  "I don't know, Raine," Max began, but Lorri was already on her feet.

  "If they make you sad, or if it feels odd to you, I'll just put them back. Okay?"

  "Okay," Max agreed, wondering if she might regret it, but she was ab
out to be surprised. Max had never seen the clothing that Lorri hauled into her room. There was no sentimental attachment at all. And her sister was right; they fit and looked sensational.

  Ruth came in from the neighbor's to find her daughters in a fashion parade. Max was using the hall as a runway, and Lorri was commentating.

  "Maxine Archer is wearing a stunning navy skirt with a pointed waistband. She's matched it with a snow-white blouse, sporting just a hint of lace, perfect for school or that special afternoon date." Lorri paused for just a moment. "Unless of course, you've sworn off boys for good."

  "What are you two doing?" Ruth said, smiling at their antics.

  "I'm giving Max a new wardrobe for school. Josie and I found all kinds of cute things in Australia."

  "This skirt is beautiful." Ruth studied tiny buttons and detailing at the waist.

  "Which reminds me..." Lorri was on the move again, this time to her own trunk in the living room. Her mother and sister

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  followed, and Lorri handed^'Ruth a skirt, similar to the one Max was wearing, and a blouse in pale pink. f; "Try these, Mother."

  ! '. Ruth didn't even think about protesting. New clothing, homemade, store-bought, borrowed, or handed down, was always fun. "Oh, Mother," Max exclaimed. "That blouse is beautiful with your dark hair. You should wear pink more often."

  "I don't think I realized how close in size we are, Lorri, but I9don't want to take this from you."

  "I can't wear it right now anyway. When I'm back to my normal ; size, I'll borrow it back from you."

  "You're getting there," Ruth suddenly said. "I was noticing yesterday that you're filling out."

  ;" Lorri glanced down at herself before saying, "It's nice not to be as tired."

  "But she was crying." Max felt their mother had to know. "She's writing to all of the children." "That would be hard, but it's very sweet of you."

  "I miss them," Lorri admitted. "When my mind started to go on the island, I couldn't remember their names, and that was scary."

  "Why did your mind start to go?" Max asked. "The hunger, I think. As soon as I got some real food, things became clearer, so I have to assume that my brain needed nutrition." '

  "And that didn't happen until you were on the PT boat?" "Right. They fed me even while I was still on the island." "They didn't take you right away to the boat?" "No, they had repairs to make, and I stayed put until it was time to leave." As soon as Lorri said this, she started to laugh.

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  "What's the matter?" Ruth had to know.

  "It's not funny at all, but I can't help laughing. I(when they were ready to leave. The lieutenant was so j was always such a gentleman, but at that moment, I think j have strangled me."

  "Where did you go?"

  'To see Josie's grave one more time."

  "Did you tell him that?"

  "No." Lorri shook her head, wishing she had wasn't thinking too clearly. I should try to write him, 1 know where I would send the letter."

  "He didn't stay angry at you, did he?" This was ir Max.

  "No, not at all. He was very kind."

  "Shall I tell you what I'm thinking right now?" Ru girls looked at her. "You've lived another life, Lorri. mother to be so disconnected from my daughter, You've stepped into a world that Max and I can't sha Dean could. He would understand, but all I can do i$ ine what this must have all been like."

  "I'm glad you don't know." Lorri's voice was sober i want you to know what the war looked like. I had jui but I wish I hadn't even had that."

  This time no one questioned her. Lorri was thi way the guns had exploded and the enemy aircrai them. She had held on for dear life, sure she was got in the water and drown, all the while wondering1 easier, drowning or starving to death.

  "Are you all right?" Ruth had been watching her (

  "Yes," Lorri said and decided to tell them. "The came under attack on our way to base. I hid in the J

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  everything. I didn't think about it until i amazing men, having to fight like that. I ;if the crew made it through the war."

  id out for you." i$sk him when he gets home."

  nd, but Ruth would have none of it. :;Skirt and blouse/' she said. |feave some other things you should try" |p i can wear them again."

  e. "Because in a very short time you're lisize again, and you might feel differently

  l to argue, but Ruth forestalled her with ping to be so generous, but I have plenty

  raid Raine's closet if you change your tlpfully.

  atter-of-fact, as if she could picture herrthing, that her family laughed. Loving to , Max grinned with pleasure before going S'Once in her room, she looked at all the it from Josie's trunk and realized her ti't have to sew at all before school began.

  l," Leonard commented to Arlene on the , "Anything wrong?"

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  "I just miss the old Max. I know it sounds selfish, but sometimes she's so sad and quiet."

  "Give her time, sweetheart. I think there's more to all of this than any of us quite realize, and that's bound to be very hard."

  "What do you mean?"

  Leonard and Cora exchanged a glance. Did they tell their daughter some of the things Ruth had shared with her friend? It would certainly help Arlene understand, but was it fair to the Archer family?

  "Let's just say that Lorri has been through quite a bit, and that's bound to affect Max."

  "Do you know what it is, Mom?"

  "Yes."

  "Did someone hurt Lorri?"

  "No, it has to do with Josie's death."

  Arlene knew there had been a plane crash. She had wondered but never asked how Lorri had survived. The facts had never been explained to her. Arlene now asked God to take care of her friend and to help her think less of herself. Beyond that, she didn't let herself dwell on what the details might be. She realized she didn't want to know.

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  "There's something we need to talk about," Ruth told the girls on the way home from church on Sunday. "I told your grandfather that we would discuss it, and I keep putting it off."

  "Why is that?"

  "Because I'm tired of crying."

  The girls didn't know what to say to this, so they made the remainder of the ride in silence. However, they were not going

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  to let their mother off the hook. Both Lorri and Max followed her up to her room, their actions very clear.

  "I thought it could wait until after lunch," Ruth said when Lorri and Max sat on the bed and stared at her.

  "Now is a good time," Lorri said pointedly.

  Ruth saw no escape. She sat in the chair near the bed and made herself begin.

  "Your grandpa and I want to have some type of service for Josie, including a headstone at the cemetery next to your father."

  Lorri felt sick to her stomach and called herself every type of fool.Why did you push this? Why did you have to know right now?

  "I like the idea" Max stunned her family by saying, unaware of Lord's turmoil. "I wish I could see where Josie is buried or even a picture of it. I'm glad we'll have something here." Not until Max was done did she realize that Ruth and Lorri were staring at her. She looked uncomfortable and apologized.

  "No, don't be sorry, Max," her mother put in. "I'm glad I know how you feel."

  "But I think I upset Lorri."

  "Are you upset, Lorri?" Ruth asked.

  "Yes, but not with Max. The whole idea just takes some getting used to." Lorri tried to say this without crying, but it didn't work. They didn't know the details. They didn't understand the way she had dug in the dirt for days, using a thin rock and her bare hands, in an effprt to give her sister a proper grave and one for Clarence Fuller as well. It all came flooding back to Lorri, and she buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

  "I'm sorry,
Raine. I'm sorry," Max said, arms around her and unable to stop her own tears. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

  Lorri couldn't speak. She hugged Max, who looked so much like Josie, and tried not to remember. Dry of tears just now, Ruth

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  had pulled her chair a little closer, waiting for the storm to pass. Handing tissues to the girls so they could wipe their faces, she spoke when they looked at her.

  "Your grandfather had two conditions: that we wait for him and that we all agree. It doesn't matter how long it takes, but until we all agree on the best way to handle this, we won't do anything. Do you understand?"

  Lorri and Max nodded.

  "It won't be a fun time, but it doesn't have to be all painful. We can have a funeral service, casket and all, or just a memorial service with no casket, or something in between. It can be private or include the whole church family."

  "The church family has been wonderful," Lorri said, thinking about the hugs and warm smiles she'd been getting the last two weeks.

  "Yes, they have, and they loved Josie too "

  "Would we really want to have a casket that had nothing in it?" Max asked.

  "It could have some things in it, special things that remind us of Josie," Ruth answered.

  "You can do that?"

  "We can do anything we want."

  "What does Grandpa want?" Lorri asked.

  "He wasn't very specific, except about wanting a proper headstone*

  Max looked at her sister. "Do you know what day Jo died?"

  "Junel."

  "That was three months ago yesterday," Max said. "It doesn't seem that long."

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  "It's not for us," Ruth reminded her. "We didn't get the telegram about the plane being missing until the fifth. And even then we didn't have any details."

  "What did the telegram say, Mother?"

  "Just that your plane never arrived and there was a search going on."

  "Did you assume we were lost?"

  Ruth sighed. "I pictured all those miles of ocean and tried not to imagine your small plane in the water, but it wasn't easy."

  "Clarence said the weather report Was for clear skies, and when a little rain started, he joked about not being able to trust anyone anymore." Lorri shook her head, still anjazed. She was back in that little plane. "There was no warning. We were suddenly in a downpour, lightning flashing all around us and the wind tossing us all over the sky.