Ritual: A New Adult College Romance (Palm South University Book 5)

by Kandi Steiner

  My heart races in my ears, pulsing in my throat, consuming me with its erratic, suffocating rhythm. It’s all I can focus on, and it’s the only thing keeping me upright and alive, because every other organ slowly gives out.

  “Jarrett?”

  His name is a gasp of a whisper on my lips, and I blink over and over, trying to unsee him, to clear the vision of him leaned up against Kade’s car. It must be a mirage. It must be a hallucination.

  Jarrett’s eyes are hard on me, brown and endless as ever, his smooth head and sprawling tattoos covering every inch of his arms a sight for sore eyes. I still don’t believe he’s real, even when he pushes off the car and tucks his hands into his pockets, crossing the small space between us and stopping with just a foot left to go.

  His eyes search mine, and my stomach bottoms out.

  He bites his lip, and my heart squeezes to a stop before kicking back to life painfully in my chest.

  He lets out a breath that reaches my lips, and I inhale it shakily, swallowing it down, my entire body shaking with the familiar scent of it.

  Kade’s hand on my hip jolts me back to life, and I jump at the contact, breathing heavy and nearly fainting. The only thing that stops me from going down is Kade’s arms around me, and he frowns, looking back and forth between me and Jarrett while I try not to pass out again.

  “Are you okay?” he asks me, and I think I nod. I think I grip onto his arms to hold myself upright. I think I keep breathing.

  What happens next, I only wish I could convince myself wasn’t real.

  Because Kade looks at Jarrett, and Jarrett appraises Kade, and then he says the last thing I ever could have expected.

  “Hello, brother.”

  After that, everything goes dark.

  “SMILE, LADIES!”

  Cassie holds out her Polaroid camera as far as she can with all of us piled into Erin’s queen-size bed, taking a picture with a grunt. When she pulls the photo out and starts waving it around, she frowns.

  “You cut off all our faces?” I tease.

  “Surprisingly, no — but I look like I’m taking a poop.”

  “You do not,” Erin argues, stealing the picture with a smile. “We all look perfect.”

  It’s the night before graduation for Erin, Ashlei, and Jess, and with all their families coming into town and graduation parties and campus-wide celebrations, this will be our last chance to be all together, just the five of us.

  Maybe for a very long time.

  My heart twists, and I hug Cassie tight. “Welp, it’s just going to be me and you now, Little.”

  “Hey! We’re not dead,” Ashlei argues.

  “We’re not even leaving the zip code,” Erin adds.

  “Still, it won’t be the same without you here here,” Cassie says with a pouty lip.

  We all fall quiet at that, and I roll over to squeeze Jess. “You okay over here?”

  “Yeah, I’m sorry,” she says on a sigh, scrubbing her hands over her tired face. “I’m trying to be present, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t all the way fucked up right now.”

  “I cannot believe Jarrett is here,” Cassie says.

  “I can’t believe Jarrett and Kade are brothers,” Ashlei chimes in.

  Jess just groans, rolling until her face is buried in the covers. “Just kill me now.”

  “What are you going to do?” Erin asks.

  “Move to Mexico?” Jess answers hopefully, popping her head up long enough to say the words before she face plants in the pillows again.

  I chuckle, sweeping her hair back. “It’ll be okay. You’re with Kade now. Jarrett lost his chance, right?”

  There’s a long pause, and the girls and I exchange worried glances.

  “Can we just talk about something else for now?” Jess begs.

  “Sure. I can join in your misery and remind you again how I fucked up the best thing to ever happen to me,” Ashlei offers.

  “Lei,” Erin says sadly.

  “I was just trying to make a joke,” Ashlei says, holding her hands up. “But, honestly? I’m doing okay. I think I’m starting to accept it… at least, a little bit. I wish he would talk to me, but I can’t force him to.” She shrugs. “There’s nothing left to do, really, but to pick myself up and move on. Starting with a new job.”

  “Have you been putting in applications?” I ask, letting her avoid the fact that I know she’s not okay. Ashlei is a lot like me in that regard — when she’s hurting, she doesn’t want to make a big show of it. She just wants to pretend like everything is fine and that she’s moving on to bigger and better things.

  But we’ll be here when she needs to fall.

  “I haven’t had to. As soon as word got out that I was leaving Okay, Cool, my phone started ringing off the hook. I’ve got offers all over Miami and in other states, too.”

  Jess leans up and glares at Ashlei. “You’re not allowed to leave. Not right now.”

  Ashlei chuckles. “I’m not going anywhere, Bossy Pants.”

  Jess face plants into the pillows with another grunt.

  “You’re going to be amazing, no matter where you end up,” Cassie says to Lei. “And, I agree with Jess. I just want you all to stay here. Forever.”

  “Says the one who will leave for med school,” I point out.

  “Well, when that happens, you all have my permission to leave, also.”

  We laugh at that, and Erin catches my eyes from across the bed. “So, a little birdie told me that Kip is transferring here for the spring semester?”

  I bite my lip, nodding. “That little birdie would be correct. And, he’ll be here for the summer, too.”

  “How?” Cassie asks with a frown.

  “He’s going to be working on his show… about us.”

  “As in, how you two met?” she asks.

  “As in everything — how we met, our crazy dating story, the tournament, all of it. His professors loved the concept and want him to bring it to life. He has through the end of the summer to shoot the pilot season, and then he’ll submit it to compete for the chance to turn it into an online series hosted through the university.”

  “Holy shit!” Ashlei says on a grin. “That’s a big deal.”

  “It is,” I agree. “I’m so proud of him.”

  “So, do you get to help with casting?” Erin asks.

  I laugh. “Oh, whether he knows it or not, I will be casting director — especially when it comes to who plays me.”

  “They’ll never find anyone who comes close to the real thing,” Ashlei says.

  “What about you, Little? What are you doing for the holidays?” I ask Cassie.

  “Adam and I are going to see our families… it’ll be the first time for him meeting my parents and me meeting his aunt.”

  “Wow, big step,” Erin says.

  “It is… but we’re ready. We’ve both decided this is it — no more games, no more letting other people get between us or standing in our own way. We just want to be together. Zero drama.”

  “Good luck with that,” Jess says, her voice muffled by the comforter.

  I pat her ass sympathetically.

  “But there’s something I wanted to tell you guys…” Cassie continues, biting her lip. “I’m going to graduate early.”

  Erin cocks a brow. “Really?”

  “Yeah. I’m ahead in my classes. My GPA is killer, surely enough to apply to my med schools of choice. Adam graduates next semester, and Big,” she says to me, smiling. “I think I want to graduate with you. Next fall.”

  I beam. “One last year together.”

  “One last year to raise some serious hell,” she agrees.

  “I’m proud of you.” I wrap her in a hug, and then Erin takes her turn.

  “Oh, and I was thinking… I know I’m a little late now, but… what if I did take a Little next fall? I’d only have one semester with her, but then she could start her own family, carry on our line.”

  At that, Erin sits upright, her eyes wellin
g. “Wait. Are you serious? You really want to take a Little?”

  Cassie nods. “I really, really do.”

  Something of a squeal comes from my Big, and then there’s more hugging, and Jess makes a comment under her breath about us being entirely too mushy for her current depressed state.

  She gets the next round of smushes.

  For a long time, we just lie there in bed, cuddling and reminiscing on the past few years. Sometimes we laugh, other times we cry, and through it all, we hold onto each other and the memories we’ve made.

  Everything is about to change.

  It feels that way at the end of every semester, but this one is unlike any I’ve felt before. I’m officially the president of Kappa Kappa Beta — a responsibility I won’t take lightly — and with Jess, Lei, and Erin graduating, it’ll just be me and Cassie left.

  The changing of the tides is cold and unfamiliar, and it leaves me wishing I could wrap myself up in what has always been and never let it go.

  But this is the way life is. It’s constantly ebbing and flowing, throwing us into new waters, testing our ability to float.

  One thing I know for sure is that no matter where these girls end up in the world, we’ll always have each other.

  And as long as that’s true, there’s nothing we can’t survive.

  “Welp,” Erin says when it’s almost midnight, rolling out of bed. “As much as I’d love to just pass out right now, my bag isn’t going to pack itself.”

  I frown. “Don’t you mean your entire room?”

  Erin shakes her head. “Nope. Mom and Dad are going to take care of packing up my room, actually. They’re going to store everything at their house until I get back.”

  Jess sits up, blowing her hair out of her face. “Back? Back from where?”

  “I don’t know, actually,” Erin says with a blush.

  The girls and I exchange looks. “Okay…” I say after a minute. “You mind telling us what the hell you’re talking about?”

  Erin giggles — giggles, like a freaking kindergartner. “Gavin and I are going on a trip.”

  “What?!”

  We all say it at once, and then it’s a chaos of questions — Where? For how long? Is this safe? —before Erin holds out her hands to shush us all.

  “We don’t know where we’re going,” she says with a smile. “That’s kind of the point.”

  Jess blinks. “I’m confused.”

  “We’re going to let two strangers in the airport choose our gate, and then we’re just going to buy a ticket and… go.”

  “Go,” Ashlei repeats. “You’re just going to get on a plane and fly wherever that plane is going with whatever you can fit in that bag.” She points at the suitcase Erin has unfolded on the floor.

  “Yep.”

  “Who are you and what have you done with our best friend?” Jess asks.

  Erin laughs, jumping back into the bed with us. “I haven’t been this excited in a long, long time, you guys. I trust Gavin. And I know it’s out of character for me but… hell, I’m about to be in law school. There won’t be any time for fun.” She shrugs. “This is all I have for a while, and he wants to make the most of it.”

  “I like him,” I say, definitively.

  “Me, too,” she whispers, her eyes meeting mine. “As much as it terrifies me, me too.”

  Cassie sighs, throwing her arms around all our necks. “I can’t believe this is it. This is our last cuddle session in this bed.”

  “Hey, this bed is about to be mine,” I remind her. “Consider it open for cuddle seshes.”

  Cassie holds out her pinky. “Let’s make a promise. Anytime anyone needs us, all they have to do is say the word, and we’re right here in this bed. No matter what.”

  We somehow manage to all loop our pinkies in one giant knot, and then we lean forward to kiss our knuckles, laughing when we bump heads.

  And again, I’m reminded that no matter how things change, no matter what bumps lie ahead, I’m surrounded by the strongest, smartest, most badass girls to ever live.

  The bonds of sisterhood don’t just go away with graduation… and thank God for that.

  Because something tells me we’re going to need each other more than ever.

  To be continued…

  Pre-Order Hazed, Palm South University #6! Coming February 25th, 2021.

  If you like Palm South University, here are some other Kandi Steiner books you’ll love…

  The Wrong Game. A fun sports romance set in Chicago where Gemma’s one and only plan is to take a different guy to each home game of the Chicago Bears football season, have some fun, and stay away from anything resembling a relationship. But after Zach convinces her to take him for a practice round, he decides he has a completely different plan in mind…

  On the Rocks. Book one in The Becker Brothers series where four brothers find love in a small Tennessee town built around a whiskey distillery – and try to solve the mystery of their father’s death along the way.

  Make Me Hate You. Kandi’s most recent stand-alone release and an Amazon Top 30 Bestseller. There’s a line between love and hate, but when Jasmine and Tyler are forced to sleep in the same house for a wedding, they’ll discover just how thin it is. Keep reading for a sneak peek inside.

  Sign up for Kandi’s newsletter so you never miss Palm South University news, new releases, free books, sales, and more!

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  Now, here’s a sneak peek inside Make Me Hate You. Read it now in Kindle Unlimited!

  June 8th, 2013

  I didn’t know a heart could break like that.

  I didn’t know it was possible to feel every sensation of your chest splitting wide open, of your heart bleeding out, without a single puncture wound being made.

  I didn’t know there was a pain worse than your high school boyfriend breaking up with you, or your childhood dog passing away, or leaving a school with all your friends to go to a completely new one.

  But it turned out there was a worse pain — one of a parent leaving you, abandoning you, waving goodbye to you in their rearview mirror like you were just an out-of-town friend they were visiting all along.

  “I’m sorry, baby girl. I’m sorry. I love you.”

  My eyes stung as her words played on repeat, and I pedaled faster, the burning of my quads a welcome distraction from the pain splitting my chest open.

  I looked disgusting — that much I knew for sure. Snot was dripping from my nose, mascara streaked my face, and I didn’t have a clue what state my bright, blonde hair was in after my hands had raked through it for the last hour.

  But none of that mattered, because I was almost at my best friend’s house, and she’d wipe my tears and give me Kleenex and ice cream and, most importantly — she’d have the answers.

  She’d know what to do.

  The gate was open at the end of the road, and I took the familiar turn into the driveway that led to the Wagner’s house. It was more like a mansion in my eyes, with its fifty acres of New Hampshire beauty, lakefront views, and grand New England colonial architecture. The first time I’d been to it — four years ago as a freshman — I’d stood at the edge of the drive and gaped at the tall, white columns that stretched into the sky, the seven chimneys that peppered the roof, the wrap-around porch decorated with the most beautiful garden I’d ever seen in my life.

  It was so different from the trailer I’d grown up in, from my aunt’s modest two-bedroom apartment on the other side of town.

  But now, it was like a second home to me, and I didn’t pause to marvel at its beauty at all.

  I leapt off the old heap of baby blue metal that was my bike and took off sprinting toward the house before it even hit the grass. The sun was setting over the lake, the last rays of light slipping through the limbs of the aspens and the white pines that lined Morgan’s drive. I blew past them with blurry eyes, launched straight up the stairs that led to the f
ront porch, and flew through the front door with my heart beating in my ears.

  I must have looked like a wild animal, from the way Harry, Morgan’s estate manager, gaped at me. Harry was in his sixties, with creamy white skin, a bald head covered in sun spots, and the kindest sea foam green eyes I’d ever known. His white, caterpillar eyebrows bent over those eyes as he took in the state of me.

  “Ms. Jasmine,” he said on a breath, reaching for me. “Are you alright?”

  Tears blurred my vision again, and I shook my head, sprinting past him and up the half-spiral staircase to the second floor. That’s where Morgan’s bedroom was, and I ran straight for it, not bothering to knock before I thrust the door open.

  Her room was a dream of every shade of pink imaginable, with a canopy four-post bed, a cozy fireplace, more pillows than anyone could ever use, and pictures of us from the last four years covering every wall.

  And it was empty.

  My chest squeezed, and I turned, ready to run back down to see if she was in the kitchen.

  Instead, I ran straight into her brother’s bare chest.

  “Whoa,” Tyler said, catching me and holding me upright before I had the chance to bounce backward. “I thought we decided you and high speeds don’t mix well, Jazzy.”

  He chuckled, but when I lifted my head and met his gaze, all laughter left his eyes in an instant.

  Tyler Wagner was modest in height, and extraordinary in every other aspect. He might as well have walked out of a Hollister ad, with the way his sandy brown hair fell in his eyes just right before he swept it away, and the way his abs rippled like mountains and valleys down his abdomen, already bronzed, even though it was only June and summer had yet to begin. He had a slight cleft in his chin, one that I always teased him for — saying it was his superhero chin.

  Only eleven months older than my best friend, I considered him my best friend, too. The three of us did everything together, and always had. We met up after every class the three years we were all at Bridgechester Prep before Tyler graduated. We ate lunch as a crew, hung out after school, lost countless weekends together and never spent more than a day or two apart during the summer. I might as well have been a part of that family for how they’d taken me under their wing when we first met.