by L. A. Sable
Liam simply watches as I finally wrench open the heavy wooden door and slip into the blessedly empty hallway. The last thing I need is for anyone to see me leaving his classroom when I have no legitimate reason to be there.
He doesn’t immediately close the door behind me. His gaze is like a weight on my back as I hurry down the hallway in a direction that I hope doesn’t lead to a dead end. My mind is going in a thousand different directions but putting space between me and my sexy math teacher is the best idea I’ve had all day.
Maybe he kissed me because he wants me. Or maybe he’s really hoping to distract me from the suspicions swirling through my mind. His kiss is still imprinted on my lips and I brush them with my fingers to ensure the sensation is only a figment of my imagination.
Somehow, I just know that kissing him will lead to a worse mistake than any of the dozens I’ve made until now. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to do it again.
My thoughts are so muddled that I don’t notice anyone is in the hallway until I run right into them.
Chapter 4
Jayden catches me with his hands on my arms before both of us are bowled right over by the force of me colliding with him. He looks down at me with an inscrutable expression, but he doesn’t seem surprised to see me in the deserted hallway hours after classes have let out for the day.
“Liam is back.” I blurt out the words before I have a chance to think them through, realizing only belatedly that I referred to Mr. Cardill by his first name.
“I heard it about it on Inner Circle. You know how fast news travels around here.” Jayden continues to hold my arm even though I’ve regained my balance. His gaze moves to the closed door behind me. “Is he in there now?”
“Yeah, I was just talking to him.”
His eyebrow goes up. “Alone?”
“Um, yeah.” My gaze moves to the still closed door and I can’t help but wonder if Liam is standing on the other side, listening to us talk about him. My cheeks flush when I think back to the charged conversation I just had with my math teacher. We’ve never done anything that might land him behind bars, but it’s pretty obvious to anyone paying attention that our relationship is wholly inappropriate. “We were just talking.”
But Jayden isn’t going to let me off that easily. “Is there something else that you could have been doing?”
“Well…no. I was just saying that in case you were getting the wrong idea. You know what, never mind.”
A small smile touches his lips. His gaze moves again to the door behind me and his grip on my arm tightens as he pulls me further down the hallway. “Let’s go talk somewhere else.”
I let him guide me toward the exit of Bellamy Hall as I fight off the wave of embarrassment. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I can’t fight the feeling that I’ve been caught doing something wrong. Liam is one of my teachers, even if he hasn’t officially started yet, so going to his classroom isn’t something that should be completely out of question. But let’s be honest, I only showed up here to talk about things that have nothing to do with the school environment.
Once we get outside to the empty courtyard where there isn’t anyone to overhear, Jayden’s demeanor completely changes.
“I don’t trust him,” he declares as the double doors swing closed behind us.
“Who?”
He cast me a look that’s clearly striving for patience. “Mr. Cardill. You need to stay away from him.”
“That’s going to be hard to do if he ends up teaching us again, especially since I’d have him for diving too.”
Jayden leans back against the stone wall that lines the steps, his attention on me laser-focused. “I thought you were going to quit the diving team.”
“I still have it as an elective.” And the thought of it isn’t anywhere near as bad when I can actually take enough medication to get rid of the back pain. I actually feel pretty good today, for example. I’ve decided to trust that Asher will do what he promised and get me more, so I can take the dose that I actually need. Or maybe, I’m just rationalizing because I want the excuse to stay close to Liam. “And I don’t understand why you have such a problem with him.”
“I don’t have a problem,” Jayden replies, rolling his eyes. He glances back at the school with narrowed eyes before turning back to search my face with his gaze. “But I think the timing of all of this is pretty suspicious. And Mr. Cardill is just giving me bad vibes in general. Not to mention, it’s not the time you’ve spent with him during class that concerns me.”
I bite my lip as I remember how close I came to Jayden catching me walking out of Liam’s apartment, just a few weeks ago. That wasn’t exactly something I could explain away as part of a school assignment.
An hour ago I’d been ready to march into Liam’s office and read him the riot act, but now I feel the inexplicable need to defend him. “You’re overreacting about nothing. We should be happy that Mr. Cardill is back. The old guy they got to replace him is better than Ambien at putting the class to sleep.”
“But why is he back? Dean Felton had him escorted off campus last term and now he just waltzes back in here like nothing happened. It doesn’t make sense.” Jayden shakes his head, the expression on his face making it clear exactly what he thinks of the situation. He knows as well as I do that the allegations against Liam were made up by Chloe, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t suspicious of him for other reasons. Especially since he caught us about to kiss in Liam’s classroom last term. “You don’t think the timing of it is more than little suspicious? I mean, why now?”
“I’ve already had this conversation with the other guys,” I tell him with a sigh, striving for patience as Jaden just stares at me with an inscrutable expression. “That’s why I went to talk to Mr. Cardill in the first place. He doesn’t have anything to do with blackmailing us.”
“So one conversation and the guy is completely off the hook? I don’t buy it.”
“Look,” I say, thoroughly exasperated. “If you want to go back and interrogate him yourself, feel free. But I don’t have time for this right now.”
Jayden surprises me by reaching forward and grabbing both my arms in a bruising grip. The expression on his face is unlike any I’ve seen him wear before. “You seem amazingly cavalier about the fact that there’s a sex tape floating around featuring you. Don’t you think you should be a bit more concerned about that, instead of mooning over the math teacher?”
“Jesus Christ, I am concerned.” I try to pull away but his grip on my arms only tightens. “Why are you acting like this?”
“Because all it will take for my entire life to end is for some sociopath to click an upload button. And if I ever find out who is behind this, it’s going to take more than a conversation for me to get over it.”
I stare into his icy blue eyes that have narrowed into slits. I’ve never seen Jayden this upset about anything. Being the cool guy and life of the party is a part of the persona he’s been cultivating since birth. But now the face that almost always wears an affable grin is lined with tension as he glares down at me. He is cracking into pieces before my very eyes and I’m struggling to understand the reason. “What is going on with you?”
“I can’t believe you can stand here and ask me that.” Jayden glares down into my face, his eyes like chips of ice. His hands shift up my arms, leaving a burning trail along the skin as if a fever is raging in him. “Did you forget what happened, some kind of selective amnesia thing?”
“Uh, that only happens in movies.” None of them have touched me since that night in the Lounge, as if we’ve all been tiptoeing around each other and the truth. And I don’t want to think about that night because a vision of it fills my head every time I try to go to sleep. The feel of their hands on my body haunts my dreams and I’m ashamed every time I wake up panting in the middle of the night with my body on fire. I should be traumatized by what happened, not fantasizing about it happening again.
“We can’t trust anybody right now, y
ou have to understand that.” Jayden’s gaze bores into mine. “We have no idea made that tape and if we’re not careful, then that video will end up in every corner of the internet.”
“And maybe I’m sick of being controlled, of being afraid of what might happen. It was just sex. Everybody has sex. What’s the big deal?”
“Is that right?”
Jayden grip on my arms tightens as he completely invades my personal space. Before I can open my mouth to ask him what he’s doing, his lips have captured mine in a searing kiss. For a moment, the heat of his touch overwhelms me and I don’t care that we’re on the steps of Bellamy Hall where anyone could walk by and see us. His hands release my arms and rise to cup my face. My own hands come up to touch his chest, but not to push him away. The kiss is searing and full of challenge, as if he’s trying to make a point and I’m just along for the ride. But I can’t stop myself from responding, muscles low in my belly clenching in response as his tongue invades my mouth as if he owns it.
Jayden is never forceful like this, if anything he’s spent the last few months obviously waiting for me to make the first move. But now he kisses me as if he has every right to do it and I press closer to him because it’s impossible not to respond. When my hands touch his chest and then move lower, skirting the waistband of his jeans, he lets out a low groan.
That sound is like music to my ears. My body molds itself to his as if all of our curves and edges were meant to fit together. The hard length of him presses against my stomach, clear evidence that he’s very happy to see me, and I raise my leg to wrap around his hips, pressing my molten center against the part of him that I crave the most.
And then Jayden comes to himself, seeming to realize that we’re out in public. He breaks the kiss and pushes me away, but his hands linger on my arms as if he can’t quite bring himself to separate from me completely.
“Okay,” he says with a choked laugh. “Enough.”
“You started it,” I point out, voice almost petulant.
“And I was trying to prove a point.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Some point.”
“Yeah, and I thought you’d push me away or slap my face, or something. Not be all into it.” He seems to realize how much that sounds like slut-shaming and rushes to correct himself. “I’m just saying that you have more to lose than anyone if that video gets out. I just thought you’d want to be focused on that.”
“You have no idea what I want,” I tell him, realizing for the first time just how true that is. “And if you’re so concerned about my reputation, making out with me on the steps probably isn’t the best way to go about protecting it.”
Jayden lets out a sigh that is way more world-weary than a guy his age has a right to sound. “True enough.”
It annoys me when he makes a point of folding his arms over his chest and stepping back so we’re no longer touching. I want him, desperately. But I also recognize that it isn’t just sex that I’m craving, but the emotional release that comes along with it. I don’t want to have think about insidious plots and how much trouble we’re in here. I just want to feel something good and forget about all the rest.
I turn away to keep myself from hitting him. “I’m going back to my room, I’ll see you later.”
The look on his face says he wants to stop me, but Jayden doesn’t say anything else. His face is heavy with the conversation that we should be having, even if it all remains unspoken. I never thought he’d turn out to be the boy scout.
I know he wants me, they all do to varying degrees. But he won’t act on it as long as the specter of this blackmail attempt hovers over us. And as long as he’s convinced that what happened between us was some terrible violation with him as the aggressor. I don’t want that video released anymore than anyone else does, but I recognize that none of us should feel ashamed of what we’ve done. That emotion should be saved solely for the asshole with the nerve to put it on videotape without our consent.
“Just so you know,” I say, turning away so that I don’t have to look at his face. “Nothing happened that I didn’t want to happen.”
I don’t wait for him to respond, but something tells me that he doesn’t know what to say to that.
Sexual frustration and annoyance hover over me like a cloud as I slam into my room. So I’m in no mood to be nice when I shut the door behind me and turn to see Asher sprawled across my unmade bed.
“How the hell did you get in here?” I snap the question, way more concerned with the how than the why.
“The key you got for the Lounge is a skeleton key, it opens almost any door on campus.” Asher crosses his arms behind his head and makes no move to rise from my bed, expression bored. “There’s no such thing as real privacy around here. You should know that by now.”
At least that answered the question of how Chloe and the other Diamond girls had managed to get into my room to destroy my belongings when I first got here. I’d been ready to blame the girl next door for letting them in through our shared bathroom. Instead, it turns out that the deck was stacked against me from the very beginning. “Well, ain’t that some shit.”
I’ve adjusted to being Diamond so completely that it rarely ends up at the forefront of my thoughts. And any time I’m reminded of it, the realization comes as a surprise. Aside from the Lounge and better seating in class, I haven’t noticed any real differences between being Diamond and the way things were before. It’s difficult for me to understand why people would work and stress over something so inconsequential. Of course, that’s how I feel about most things that other people seem to want.
Asher studies my face as if he can read my thoughts in my expression. “Just wait until you go to the alumni reception.”
I’d honestly forgotten all about it. “When is that supposed to be again?”
“A few days, I think. We won’t find out the exact time until that day. We’ll know when we know.” Asher crosses his ankles as he stretches, revealing the taut muscles of his abs as his shirt lifts and he makes himself comfortable on my bed.
“Feel free to tell me what you’re doing here at anytime.” There isn’t any heat in my voice and I’m surprised to find that I’m not really unhappy that he’s here and invading my space. I turn away and make a point of rifling through my bag on the desk so that he can’t see my face. “Or you can just leave.”
There’s a smile in his voice. “Oh, you don’t want me to leave.”
I fight back the hard shiver that I know he can see from across the room. Especially after my encounter with Jayden, my nerves are frayed to the ragged edge and I’m quickly approaching the point where my mind shuts off and I can’t be held responsible for my actions because my body has taken over. Asher is among the hottest guys that I’ve ever encountered in my life and right now he’s sprawled across my bed like he belongs there.
“What do you want?” I ask finally, instead of saying anything close to what I’m actually thinking.
“That’s no way to talk to someone who comes bearing gifts.” He rises smoothly from the bed and tosses a plastic baggie toward me. It lands on the desk with a thump and I look down to see that it contains a few dozen oblong tablets with the distinct imprints on them that I’ve come to recognize.
I’m already doing calculations in my head, this amount won’t last more than a couple of days. “That’s it?”
“For now. I’m not trying to arouse suspicion. I’ll be able to get more.” He sits on the edge of my bed and steeples his fingers under his chin, watching me too closely like I’m an animal in a glass cage at the zoo. There’s too much attention behind that gaze as if he sees things that aren’t obvious to anyone else. “Has the pain been bad?”
“Usually manageable, especially now that diving is over for the season.” I don’t tell him that my back almost always feels like it’s on fire. Sometimes the flames bank low enough that I can keep any awareness of it in the background of my thoughts so it’s only overwhelming when I pay attention to it. Other times,
the pain is so bad that it feels like I could die from it. “Today hasn’t been the best day.”
Stress always makes the pain worse. And I didn’t do myself any favors by stomping across campus to confront Mr. Cardill.
Asher gets off the bed and comes toward me. I’m frozen in place as he opens the baggie and takes out a single pill, holding it in front of my lips. “Open.”
I let him place the bitter pill on my tongue and swallow it without bothering with the glass of water on the desk. He doesn’t reach for the glass either, somehow knowing that I don’t need it. For a moment, the pill catches in my throat as our gazes meet and heat flashes between us.
“The pain is in here, right?” He moves to stand behind me and places both hands on my lower back. His hands are warm even through the fabric of my shirt as he touches the tight band of muscle at the curve of my spine. “Sometimes massage can help.”
My eyes drift closed as he digs sure fingers into my skin, massaging and kneading with an expert touch. It does feel good, better than it should, as I relax back against him until the back of my head rests against his shoulder. I know that almost anything might break this fragile spell, but I can’t stop myself from asking the question. “Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?”
“I’m not being all that nice and nothing about this is sudden. The ground we’re standing on has been built up for the last year, one speck of dirt at a time.” His hands find a particularly large knot of tension and he digs into it with his knuckles. I let out a moan in response. “And maybe I’m just softening you up so it’s easier to get into your pants.”
I let out a laugh that ends in a choking sound as his lips skim the sensitive skin of my neck. Tingles of sensation trace the path of his mouth as it drifts up and over the curve of my cheek. I know that I should shove him away or say something to make him stop, but I don’t have any fight left in me. Not for something that I desperately want, but just don’t want to admit to myself that I need.
