Hard to Love, Book 1
Page 19
* * *
Taking my gaze away from the gorgeous house, I read the text and then I have to read it again.
You want to go out soon?
My brow furrows, a deep line settling in my forehead.
My first thought is: what is Cami doing on the East Coast? After all, who else would be texting me?
A vise tightens around my dry throat. Cami’s dead. Fuck, my head is so messed up.
It’s been like this since I saw Seth days ago. Since he called me Babygirl. The past has a way of creeping in. All the things once forgotten come back. With the pain lingering in my chest, oh how I wish Cami were here. I wish it were her who sent that text.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had moments like I’ve been having, where I’ve forgotten about everything that happened when I left. I don’t hold the guilt or any of the fear. In those moments, my mind plays tricks on me to convince me Cami’s still alive, still happy. I’ve only left her on the other side of the country for school and work. It’s a nice thought for a moment, but then my eyes prick with hot tears and the memory of the night I left comes flooding back in a rush.
I’ll never forget that imagery. I’ll never forget how cold her skin was. Or the feel of her lashes against my fingers when I closed her eyes. I hold my fingers now, willing the sensations to go away.
My body’s heavy as I fall against the driver seat. Breathe in, breathe out. Just keep breathing.
Ping. Bethany texts again. She’s not Cami. She’ll never be Cami.
A new friend to replace me, Cami’s voice whispers in my head and my throat tightens as I read the text Bethany sent: I miss you. I really do.
I don’t even have time to think about what happened between Bethany and me. I haven’t seen her since she left my apartment, pissed off at me. I did what I had to do. It was a few days after I’d seen Seth. I did what I thought was right.
I’ll tell her everything. She’ll understand. Some friendships come and go but some, like the one I have with Bethany, are meant to be forever friendships. I want so badly to make it up to Bethany and explain. Just like I want to do with Seth.
She’ll understand.
Failure and regret are kneading together in the pit of my stomach. I’ve made so many mistakes. Countless times I’ve prayed and wished that I could just go back so I could do things differently. If only I could have known…
I miss you too and whenever you want, I’m there. I type out my response and hope she can feel just how much I miss her too.
Tonight? Bethany’s answer is immediate and my teeth bite into my bottom lip as I suck in a deep breath.
Dammit. I can’t tonight.
Tomorrow then? she asks.
Tomorrow. I respond immediately and then quickly add, I am all yours tomorrow.
I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until she replies, Can’t wait and I finally exhale.
I can make things better. I can make them right again. Closing my eyes again, I see Cami’s face. Not everything can be made right.
With another exhale, I try to shake off the nerves that curl and coil around my insides. Preparing to toss my keys in my bag, the jingle of them is all I can hear other than my wonky heart when I look up and see Seth standing there.
My heart tumbles over itself at the sight of him. I’ve only seen him in a suit once before. For his father’s funeral. Back then, the suit looked like a hand-me-down. He could have afforded whatever suit he wanted, but he chose a loose black one, with a black tie that was never tight around his throat. The knot hung loose and the second the casket was lowered to the ground, he ripped it off, followed by his jacket. It was snowing that day, but he couldn’t have cared less. He never did like suits.
It seems that time has changed all that. The expensive cloth is cut perfectly to fit Seth’s broad shoulders. The black is pristine, the cufflinks a detail I’d never envisioned on him. He lifts his arm just slightly, glancing down at his wrist and the shine of a silver watch, or maybe platinum, reflects back at me.
His clothes are all wrong, all different from what I know about the boy I fell in love with. But his eyes, they’re the same. His stubble and hard jaw, they’re what I remember. His cheekbones seem more defined with how trim he keeps his facial hair and the lines around his eyes are faint, but they tell tales of an older man, not one in his twenties. The look he’s giving me though, with his lips slightly parted, his tongue peeking out just for a moment to wet his bottom lip… it’s reminiscent of before, but just like his clothes, it’s worn differently.
Skip, trip, thump. He doesn’t stop staring as I take him in. Like he’s waiting for something. My heart responds but I don’t. I’m as still as can be in my seat, feeling the heat the car has stopped providing even without it being on anymore. It engulfs me as Seth’s stare penetrates through everything.
He doesn’t stand there for long, his large hands clenched into fists at his sides. They unclench and his right smooths down the black pressed suit pants he’s wearing. Irritation grows in his expression, but I’m in no rush to move.
I hate how he looks at me, but I love that he’s looking at me at all.
I reach out to the passenger seat without breaking Seth’s gaze before he can open the door himself. He’s hiding from me. Behind those blue eyes, I see nothing anymore. Maybe a hint of lust and a wall of hate, but not him. I don’t see him anymore and it fucking hurts. It’s a jagged rip to my heart.
Before I step out, I reach behind me for my purse; inside it is the notebook. Only the first one though. I didn’t bring them all.
As I stand toe to toe with him, swinging the thin black strap of my blush satchel over my shoulder and feeling the gust of wind send a chill down my spine, I close the car door without looking back. The thudding click of it shutting is all I can hear. Even the woods that surround us are silent.
It’s hard to believe Seth’s right in front of me. The wave of heat from his hard body towering over me is addictive. He’s so close that his scent fills my lungs and it brings memory after memory as I stand breathless in front of him. I could touch him; I know I could.
He could touch me if he wanted to as well. Neither of us moves though.
“I told you not to make me come for you.” His deep voice is a low baritone, a threat not so veiled laying within the syllables.
What was left of the light from the sun is waning and the moon doesn’t provide a damn thing tonight. The shadows come quicker than they have any other night. My God, does the darkness make Seth look even more tempting. Fear is ever present, the unknowing and lack of control driving my anxiety to pump my unbalanced heart harder.
I pay it all no mind. Seth is here in front of me.
“Did you hear me?” he asks, although it’s not a question. It’s more a statement of his discontent.
“I’m sure that’s not what you meant in that note, Seth,” I finally speak, my voice more even than I dreamed it would be. How it comes out so calm and collected, I have no idea.
Goosebumps line my arms as another gust of wind pushes at my back, gathering my hair and causing it to tumble over my shoulders. I cross my arms as my nipples pebble.
“I’m here,” I tell him. As if stating the obvious was needed.
The anger and edge of threat are absent, and the heat in Seth’s eyes roars when he glances down my body and then back to my own wandering gaze.
Time passes, too much of it, before I break the silence and break our caught stares to say, “I didn’t make you come far, did I?”
* * *
Seth & Laura’s story continues in… Desperate to Touch!
Don’t stop reading this gripping tale of love and overcoming tragedy. Seth and Laura’s history may be rough, but what’s to come is fire and a love you’ll remember forever.
Click here to sign up to my mailing list, where you’ll get exclusive giveaways, free books and new release alerts!
Follow me on BookBub to be the first to know about my sales!
* * *<
br />
Text Alerts:
US, Text WILLOW to 797979
UK, Text WWINTERS to 82228
* * *
And if you’re on Facebook, join my reader group, Willow Winters’ Wildflowers for special updates and lots of fun!
Also by W Winters
Read Willow’s sexiest and most talked about romances in the Merciless World
* * *
This Love Hurts Trilogy
This Love Hurts
But I Need You (October 2020)
And I Love You the Most (December 2020)
* * *
An epic tale of both betrayal and all-consuming love...
Marcus, the villain.
Cody Walsh, the FBI agent who knows too much.
And Delilah, the lawyer caught in between.
* * *
A Kiss to Tell (a standalone novel)
They lived on the same street and went to the same school, although he was a year ahead. Even so close, he was untouchable.
Sebastian was bad news and Chloe was the sad girl who didn’t belong.
Then one night changed everything.
* * *
Possessive (a standalone novel)
It was never love with Daniel Cross and she never thought it would be. It was only lust from a distance. Unrequited love maybe.
He’s a man Addison could never have, for so many reasons.
* * *
Merciless Saga
Merciless
Heartless
Breathless
Endless
* * *
Ruthless, crime family leader Carter Cross should’ve known Aria would ruin him the moment he saw her. Given to Carter to start a war; he was too eager to accept. But what he didn’t know was what Aria would do to him. He didn’t know that she would change everything.
* * *
All He’ll Ever Be (Merciless Series Collection of all 4 novels)
* * *
Irresistible Attraction Trilogy
A Single Glance
A Single Kiss
A Single Touch
* * *
Bethany is looking for answers and to find them she needs one of the brothers of an infamous crime family, Jase Cross.
Even a sizzling love affair won’t stop her from getting what she needs.
But Bethany soon comes to realise Jase will be her downfall, and she’s determined to be his just the same.
* * *
Irresistible Attraction (A Single Glance Trilogy Collection)
* * *
Hard to Love Series
Hard to Love
Desperate to Touch
Tempted to Kiss
Easy to Fall
* * *
Eight years ago she ran from him.
Laura should have known he'd come for her. Men like Seth King always get what they want.
Laura knows what Seth wants from her, and she knows it comes with a steep price.
However it’s a risk both of them will take.
* * *
Not My Heart to Break (Hard to Love Series Collection)
* * *
Tease Me Once (September 2021)
Tease me once... I'll kiss you twice.
Declan Cross' story from the Merciless World.
* * *
Spin off of the Merciless World
* * *
Love the Way Duet
Love the Way You Kiss Me (May 2021)
Love the Way You Hold Me (June 2021)
* * *
With everything I've been through, and the unfortunate way we met, the last thing I thought I'd be focused on is the fact that I love the way you kiss me.
* * *
Extended epilogues to the Merciless World Novels
A Kiss To Keep (more of Sebastian and Chloe)
Seductive (more of Daniel and Addison)
Effortless (more of Carter and Aria)
Never to End (more of Seth and Laura)
* * *
Sexy, thrilling with a touch of dark Standalone Novels
* * *
Broken (Standalone)
Kade is ruthless and cold hearted in the criminal world.
They gave Olivia to him. To break. To do as he’d like.
All because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. But there are secrets that change everything. And once he has her, he’s never letting her go.
* * *
Forget Me Not (Standalone novel)
She loved a boy a long time ago. He helped her escape and she left him behind. Regret followed her every day after.
Jay, the boy she used to know, came back, a man. With a grip strong enough to keep her close and a look in his eyes that warned her to never dare leave him again.
It’s dark and twisted.
But that doesn’t make it any less of what it is.
A love story. Our love story.
* * *
It’s Our Secret (Standalone novel)
It was only a little lie. That’s how stories like these get started.
But with every lie Allison tells, Dean sees through it.
She didn't know what would happen. But with all the secrets and lies, she never thought she’d fall for him.
* * *
You Are Mine Series of Duets
* * *
You Are My Reason (You Are Mine Duet book 1)
You Are My Hope (You Are Mine Duet book 2)
Mason and Jules emotionally gripping romantic suspense duet.
One look and Jules was tempted; one taste, addicted.
No one is perfect, but that’s how it felt to be in Mason’s arms.
But will the sins of his past tear them apart?
* * *
You Know I Love You (November 2020)
You Know I Need You (December 2020)
Kat says goodbye to the one man she ever loved even though Evan begs her to trust him.
With secrets she couldn’t have possibly imagined, Kat is torn between what’s right and what was right for them.
* * *
Small Town Romance
* * *
Tequila Rose Book 1 (Feb 2021)
Autumn Night Whiskey Book 2 (March 2021)
He tasted like tequila and the fake name I gave him was Rose.
Four years ago, I decided to get over one man, by getting under another. A single night and nothing more.
Now, with a three-year-old in tow, the man I still dream about is staring at me from across the street in the town I grew up in. I don’t miss the flash of recognition, or the heat in his gaze.
The chemistry is still there, even after all these years.
I just hope the secrets and regrets don’t destroy our second chance before it’s even begun.
* * *
Contemporary Romance Standalones
* * *
Knocking Boots (A Novel)
They were never meant to be together.
Charlie is a bartender with noncommittal tendencies.
Grace is looking for the opposite. Commitment. Marriage. A baby.
* * *
Promise Me (A Novel)
She gave him her heart. Back when she thought they’d always be together.
Now Hunter is home and he wants Violet back.
* * *
Tell Me To Stay (A Novella)
He devoured her, and she did the same to him.
Until it all fell apart and Sophie ran as far away from Madox as she could.
After all, the two of them were never meant to be together?
* * *
Second Chance (A Novella)
No one knows what happened the night that forced them apart. No one can ever know.
But the moment Nathan locks his light blue eyes on Harlow again, she is ruined.
She never stood a chance.
* * *
Burned Promises (A Novella)
Derek made her a promise. And then he broke it. That’s what happens with your first love.
&nb
sp; But Emma didn’t expect for Derek to fall back into her life and for her to fall back into his bed.
* * *
Valetti Crime Family Series:
A HOT mafia series to sink your teeth into.
* * *
Dirty Dom
Becca came to pay off a debt, but Dominic Valetti wanted more.
So he did what he’s always done, and took what he wanted.
* * *
His Hostage
Elle finds herself in the wrong place at the wrong time. The mafia doesn’t let witnesses simply walk away.
Regret has a name, and it’s Vincent Valetti.