Never Go Back

by Jewel Geffen

  She went across the floor to collect her identity cards from where Tyson had scattered them, then they beat a hasty exit. They didn't encounter anyone else as they went once more up the stairs and out the long hall, though Natalie was constantly expecting to hear the sharp retort of gunshots. The car was right where they'd left it on the curb.

  She rushed to the passenger's seat as Jordan swung into the driver's seat. There was a young black man in back, drumming his fingers anxiously and practically bouncing up and down. “Come on, man, come on! Let's get outta here!”

  “Good fucking idea,” Jordan said, and put the car in drive.

  “Where are we going?”

  “If they come looking they'll try my place first. I'll go back and get Mom outta there, find a friend of hers to take her for a few days.”

  “My place then. We'll take him to my place. Any gang members start turning up there and my whole street's gonna call the cops.”

  Jordan grinned tightly. “Alright then, let's do it. First time I've ever been grateful for the neighborhood fucking watch.”

  The tires screeched as they pulled out into the street and shot off into the night, their new star witness secure in the back seat.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  The three of them sat at Natalie's dining room table, Jordan at the head and Melvin and Natalie opposite one another to either side of him.

  Jordan had brought them straight to the house, then driven off to relocate his mother. For a tense half hour the two of them, the lawyer and the young gang member, had sat in almost complete silence in Natalie's living room. Finally, she'd cleared her throat, and asked him if he was hungry.

  He'd let out something like a gasp of relief and thanked her profusely for the offer. “Haven't had shit- uh, I mean, haven't had anything much for weeks, ma'am, they weren't real bothered about feeding me too good.”

  The fridge was practically empty, as usual, so she had offered to order him a pizza. He'd made a face. “Man, pizza practically the only thing they did give me. Can I get some Chinese food or something?”

  She'd dug out a takeout menu and ordered double order of fried rice and sesame chicken. Fifteen minutes later the delivery guy showed up. As soon as she'd opened the bag and the scent hit her nostrils, she had realized how incredibly, totally, ravenously hungry her experience had made.

  The two of them had dug in wholeheartedly, devouring the steaming hot food together in appreciative silence. And that was how Jordan found them when he returned, limping in and slumped into the seat at the head of the table.

  “Your mama okay, man?”

  “Yeah, yeah she's okay. Didn't see anything going on. Nobody creeping around. Could be nobody knows what's going on. Not yet, anyway. Got her outta there, though, anyway. Put her up with some friends.”

  “Are you hungry?” Natalie asked, reaching out to put her hand on his hand.

  He shook his head slightly. “Nah, I'm good.” He turned his hand around and squeezed hers.

  She looked at him for a long moment, then glanced over at Melvin. “Well. Here we are then.”

  “Yeah,” Jordan said. He turned to Melvin. Both off them were now looking at him, and he leaned back and pushed his plate aside. “Here we are.”

  “What's the play, man? What are we doing? I dunno, I'm just glad you got me outta that fucking room.”

  “You love my sister, man?” Jordan said, and there was an edge to his voice. It was clear from his tone that he hadn't forgotten the fact that Melvin had been the one to set Tasha up, even if he had been forced into it and did regret it afterwards.

  Melvin licked his lips nervously. “Yeah man, yeah I do.”

  “Then you don't want to see her go down for this.”

  “No. I guess I don't want that.”

  Natalie spoke up. She felt herself slipping back into lawyer mode. It was strange, after the night she'd had, to be talking once again as if to a client, as if the world were still ordered and sensible and the events of the evening so far hadn't actually happened. “We're not asking you to just turn yourself in and go to jail, Melvin. We're going to get you a deal. Make sure that you're protected. In return, you're going to help them prosecute the members of your gang. Can you do that?”

  He nodded, his fingers twisting and untwisting nervously. “Yeah. Yeah, I can do it. Screw those guys, you know? They woulda killed me if I'd tried leaving that room, you know? Tyson said it to my face, man, said he'd blow me away. Man, fuck them.”

  “Good,” Jordan said, “Glad we're on the same page.”

  “But I don't know about this, man. I mean, what if the cops just gonna just shank me themselves? Tyson pulled shit like that before, you got no idea.”

  Natalie thought of what he'd told her, about the arrangement between the gangs and the police to parade about a facade of order and justice while never risking upset to the delicate structure they'd established. She wasn't surprised to learn of corruption in the ranks, but surely it was only a group of fringe operators, and not the larger majority. How deep could it go? Not all the way up to the DA, could it? If Blackburn was in on it, there was no chance he'd make a deal.

  If things were that bad, there was no hope at all. She'd just have to trust that whatever corruption the Death-heads had sown among the police didn't go all the way to the top. “Tom!” she blurted out suddenly, surprising even herself. They both turned to look at her. “I have a, um... a friend on the force. I trust him completely. He's a bit of a jerk, but he's a standup guy. He'll make sure things don't go south.”

  Melvin looked dubious, but Jordan nodded. “Works for me. We'll contact him first thing in the morning.”

  “Alright. It's agreed. We all stay here until the deal goes through. Melvin, you're welcome to use one of the guest bedrooms on the-”

  Jordan's hand shot up, his finger to his lips. His eyes narrowed. Natalie fell instantly silent.

  She heard footsteps approaching, coming steadily nearer. She felt her heart start to beat a little faster, imagining a group of stealthy gang members creeping up to murder them all, knives and pistols in their hands as they'd come through the windows and-

  “Whoa.”

  Todd stood in the kitchen doorway, still wearing his fluffy blue bathrobe. He looked slowly from one person at the table to the other, his wife, and two large and rough looking black men, sitting down with half-empty Chinese takeout cartons strew around.

  “Uh... hi,” he said.

  Natalie felt herself blushing crimson. “Um, this is my husband. Todd, this is Jordan and Melvin. They're, uh... they're here in regard to a case I'm working on.”

  “Oh,” he said, “Um... okay.”

  Jordan stood, reaching a hand out, “Mr. Kendall, nice to finally meet you,” he said, but then he staggered, almost falling right over.

  Melvin and Natalie both leaped up to catch him, their chairs scraping loudly as they rose.

  Jordan stumbled back, his hands going to his side as he winced.

  Natalie felt her stomach drop as she put her hand inside his leather jacket and felt something hot and warm and sticky inside. Her hand came out red with blood. “Jesus Christ,” she murmured.

  “Oh shit, dude, what the fuck?” Melvin said.

  “Is that blood?” Todd asked, his face pale.

  “It's fine, it's not as bad as it looks,” Jordan grimaced, “Tyson winged me, that's all.”

  Natalie thought back to that shot which the gang leader had fired. The one Jordan had protected her from with his own body.

  “It went clean through,” he said, just grazed a rib or something. I'll sleep it off.”

  “You didn't say anything?” Natalie said, her hands trembling. There was so much blood, it couldn't be right, it seemed like far too much, “Why didn't you tell me? You can't just get shot and keep it a secret!”

  “Did you say shot?” Todd asked, dazed.

  “It'll be fine,” Jordan said, “I just need to patch it up.”

  “Bullshit,” she scoffed
, “Melvin, get the car keys, I'm taking him to the hospital right-”

  “No!” Jordan shouted, slamming his fist. “No,” he said again, more quietly but with no less resolve. “We don't go to the hospital. Gang'll be watching it. We go in there right now, if they're out for our blood, it'd be as good as suicide. I'll be okay, I mean it. Gotten a lot worse in my day. Just need a first-aid kit, and an extra pair of hands.”

  Natalie nodded slowly. “Okay. Okay. Let's do this.”

  Todd was saying weakly in the doorway. “I don't think I...”

  “Melvin, Todd, you two stick together. Go play video games or something, we'll be alright,” Natalie snapped, maneuvering Jordan's arm around her shoulders and trying to take some of his weight.

  Melvin shrugged. “You got Xbox, man?”

  Todd nodded slightly. “Uh... yeah...”

  “Cool.”

  “Come on,” Natalie said, “there's a first aid kit upstairs, it's right across from the bedroom, we'll clean that up and you can lie down.”

  Jordan grinned weakly. “Just trying to get me into your bed, is that it?”

  “You should be so lucky. Come on, Jordan, let's go take a look at you.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  She opened the first aid kit. It looked woefully inadequate for the task at hand. Jordan was still swaying, holding his side and trying to keep from bleeding on the carpet. The fluffy white towel she'd given him was soaked through already.

  “You should have told me,” she said, for about the tenth time. “You should have said something.”

  “Wasn't time,” he grunted, “had bigger things on my mind.”

  “Bigger things on his mind than getting shot,” she grumbled to herself, “oh, I see. Of course he did. Lay down.”

  He eased himself gently onto the bed, still holding the towel tight against himself.

  Natalie took a deep breath and started pulling gauze pads and medical tape from the box. “You're sure you won't go to the hospital?”

  He shook his head. “Too dangerous. Anyway, I got a look at it. Went through clean. Didn't hit any major arteries or anything like that. Imma be fine, soon as I get it patched up and catch a little sleep.”

  “Would you at least be willing to see a doctor when we get a chance? I'll make an appointment with my own personal physician; we'd keep it quiet, private.”

  “Don't think I could afford it,” he said, and chuckled, though the laugh was forced and made him wince.

  “That doesn't matter,” she said, “you don't have to worry about that.”

  “Easy to say,” he gritted through his teeth, “when you've never had to fight just to get enough to feed yourself. I don't take money I can't pay back.”

  “It wouldn't be a loan,” she said, looking down at her hands. They were stained red and trembling in her lap. “It would be a gift. There's nothing I want apart from you. This house, the fancy car, the designer clothes... I don't care about any of it.”

  He looked at her for a long moment, and his eyes were gentle with affection. “You might think different,” he said, “once you live without 'em for a while.”

  “Maybe,” she said, “maybe not. But I would give them up in a heartbeat for you. Now. Take your shirt off.”

  “Yes Ma'am,” He said, and grinned slightly, though he couldn't keep from wincing a moment later when he shifted his weight. He let out a pained groan as he peeled the leather coat off, then a hiss of agony as he tugged his shirt up and over his head. He fell back against the pillows, pressing the towel tight to himself.

  Natalie felt her breath catch at the sight of his stunning body, his smooth skin and rippling muscles, the swirls of black tattoos on his ebony skin. She had to remind herself to stay focused, to ignore the fact that the man she loved, passionately and desperately, was now half naked in her bed for the first time.

  “Move the towel,” she said.

  “Don't wanna get blood all over the bed-sheets...”

  “Fuck 'em,” she said, “I don't care about any of it. Let's just worry about you right now, okay?” She shook the little bottle of antiseptic wash. “Alright then... this is going to sting a bit.”

  Fifteen minutes later she sat back, feeling just a bit queasy, but quite proud of herself. He stood in front of the mirror, wearing nothing but his boxers, and he admired her handiwork.

  “How's that?” she asked, brushing bits of tape and gauze into her hand and tossing them into the garbage.

  “Couldn't have done it better myself.”

  “You have much experience tending gunshot wounds?” she asked, a bit sarcastically.

  He didn't say anything, but he pointed to his shoulder, where there were two round scars, just faintly visible. Then he touched his leg, where there was a long mark along his calf. “Got these killing people,” he said, still gazing into the mirror. Then he touched the bandage on his side where Tyson's bullet had passed through his flesh. “This is the first one I got protecting somebody.”

  “I owe you my life, you know.”

  He scoffed and shook his head. “You wouldn't have been in that position if not for me. I should be apologizing for putting you anywhere near there.”

  “I'd do it again in a heartbeat,” she said, “in a goddamn heartbeat.”

  He looked at her and grinned. “You've got a bit of a mouth on you, counselor, don't you?”

  She smirked back. “Maybe you're just a bad fuckin' influence on me.”

  He laughed, sitting on the edge of the bed and flopping wearily onto his back. “I don't think so. Maybe the other way around.”

  She gasped, mock-outraged. “What! You're the gangster here, not me.”

  “Ex-gangster,” he corrected, “and a gangsta ain't nothing next to a lawyer, everybody knows that.”

  “Point taken.”

  “Seriously though,” he said, and his features were suddenly quite solemn. “Thank you for what you did. I mean it.”

  “Well... you can owe me one, then.”

  “How would I ever repay you?” he asked, gazing up at her. She felt herself tingle all over. She knew that look.

  “Well...” she smiled, “I can think of one way...”

  “Yeah?”

  “Hm hm... assuming, of course, that you're up for it. I wouldn't want to aggravate your injuries or anything like that...”

  “I'm not so fragile as all that,” he said smoothly.

  “Glad to hear that,” she said, and she drew his boxers slowly down.

  He shifted his weight more fully onto the bed, and put his arms behind his head, just watching her as she reached up under her skirt and slipped her panties down. “I think I might just be falling for you, Natalie Kendall.”

  “What, just now? I fell for you weeks ago.”

  “Well, I'm a little slow, but I get there eventually.”

  “I'm serious, Jordan. I... I'm a bit in love with you. Well... honestly, more than a bit.”

  “I know,” he said, and his voice sent cold shivers running through her. “I've known for a long time.”

  “And... do you feel like that's... okay?”

  He looked at her for a long time, seeming to genuinely consider the question. Then he smiled. “Yeah,” he said, “that's okay.”

  She grinned, and she climbed up onto him, straddling him and placing her hands on his chest, being careful not to get too close to the bandaged area. “I've been thinking about this all day...” She put one hand beneath her skirt and she found him. She moaned softly as her fingers wrapped around his quickly hardening cock, feeling it come to life in her grasp, swelling and rising.

  “Don't stop,” he groaned.

  She leaned down and kissed his chest, and she guided him inside her. Natalie gasped, a shiver of pleasure shooting through her. Any confusion or hesitation she might have been feeling, any lingering guilt over her husband or shame from what had happened with Tyson faded away, until there was only this.

  His cock purified her, it remade her, transported her very
spirit. She couldn't imagine being with another man, certainly not with Todd. She understood now that expression, the one about never going back.

  She was his, and she wouldn't let it go, not ever if she could help it. If she could, she would spend the rest of her life with this man – though she'd no idea how that would work. She was still afraid that once the trial was over, she would lose him, never see him again, be torn apart by the whims of fate.

  For now, however, she was just going to do everything she could to enjoy this moment, to live in it, to be his and his alone, utterly. She rocked her hips back and forth, riding him, taking him, giving herself to him body and soul.

  She lost all conception of time and space; it seemed an eternity, a blink of an eye, a lifetime. She felt her orgasm sweep through her like a rushing tidal wave, crashing over her, bearing her far far away, taking her right to him. Falling against his chest, gasping and trembling. And then he came.

  She could feel it, his pleasure rushing through him, shuddering in his body. And then the heat, the dreamy sensation of being filled by him.

  She clung to him, and the world seemed to spin and turn all around them. He wrapped his powerful dark arms around her and squeezed her tight against himself. Her mouth found his lips, and they kissed each other in the darkness of the bedroom.

  They drifted in and out of sleep, made love maybe half a dozen more times. When she slept, she dreamed of him, and everything else faded away, until nothing remained but they two, and the love in her heart burning bright as a sky full of scattered stars arranging themselves into a brand new array of dazzling constellations.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Brokering the deal with Grant Blackburn and the DA's office turned out to be both easier and more difficult than Natalie had feared. Blackburn was hostile and unpleasant to a degree she'd scarcely imagined possible, but in the end he took the deal.

  Melvin was offered immunity in exchange for telling them everything he knew about the organization of the deal and testifying against the leading members of the gang. The case against Tasha was dropped, as their easy win had just fallen out from under their feet. Even if they hadn't been interested in putting Melvin in witness protection, he'd have been able to testify under oath that the dope had been planted in Tasha's car without her knowledge, and things would have gotten a good deal harder for the prosecution.