Dark On Me (Borrowed Faith Book 2)

by Ruby Rowe

  “I can’t believe you said that,” Apple replies. After stretching Zain out on the couch, I turn around.

  “Baby, I’m sorry, but after what Nathan did, I don’t have much sympathy for addicts.”

  “But they’re called addicts for a reason. They can seldom stop using without help, and even then, the odds are stacked against them.”

  “You think I don’t know that? What pisses me off is that Zain won’t get help. He won’t even try.”

  “He’s in denial,” Faith replies. “You know this is part of the disease. Unfortunately, Zain’s not even close to admitting he has a problem. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, and he gets defensive on the spot.”

  “Same,” Apple says.

  Staring down at Zain, Faith hugs her hips.

  “I’m not saying we shouldn’t try to get him to listen, but we need to be realistic. It’s going to take more than this episode to get him to wake the fuck up about his problem.”

  This is why I can’t get close to Z. Nathan swore he’d always be there for me, and look what happened. He insisted he could handle it on his own … that he knew his limits. Zain has said the same damn thing.

  Apple heads for the bunks, so I follow her. She gets inside hers, and I don’t give her time to tell me not to join her. She’s mad at me, but I think she’s more upset with herself for whatever she said to Z.

  “I’m sorry for sounding insensitive.” I move onto my side to face her. “But none of us deserve to relive what happened with my brother. I only said what I did because I was angry.”

  “OK, but what if he took more drugs than normal because he was upset about what I said to him? I tried to get him to talk about how lonely he was.”

  “You know most guys don’t like to talk about their feelings.”

  “He needs to.”

  “Maybe with a professional. He won’t want to seem weak around you.”

  “Once he tried to change the subject, I pushed him, and then he was hateful, so I was even meaner.”

  I smirk. “You don’t know how to be mean.”

  “Yes, I do. I told him he needed an ass-whooping.”

  Flinging my head back, I laugh. “You didn’t say that.”

  “I did. He implied that you and I don’t know each other, so it was eating at me.”

  “We communicate telepathically. How could we be any closer than that?”

  She looks down, so I lift her chin and brush back her hair that has fallen out of her messy bun, or whatever she calls it.

  “He asked me if I even knew where you lived.”

  “You’re going to see my place when we get home.”

  “Yeah, but he acted like I shouldn’t be engaged to someone I hardly know anything about.”

  “Are you worried he’s right?”

  “I don’t doubt that you and I will work through any obstacle we face, but the way he said it made me feel irresponsible. I hate how many times I’ve felt that way since I first stepped onto this bus.”

  “I get it. It even shocks me that I want to get married so soon, but like you’ve said, we’re not an ordinary couple. I don’t understand it, but I can’t deny it.”

  Finally, she smiles. “I like that you’re taking up for us and believing in what we are.”

  “We’re going to make this work. Now, what do you want to know about me besides my address?”

  “Why do you have the nickname Tripp?”

  Shifting onto my back, I lace my hands behind my head and stare at the ceiling. It’s still hard to talk about my brother.

  “Even though people think it sounds cool, I didn’t get it for a cool reason, but since Nathan gave it to me, I don’t mind that it stuck.

  “I was the most gullible kid, but I think it was because I trusted Nate so much. I depended on him to teach me everything, so when he said something, I believed it.

  “I fell for every damn lie he told me, no matter how farfetched, and once I did, he’d laugh hysterically and say, ‘You’re such a trip. You’ll believe anything I tell you.’ I think that’s why I was leery of trusting your abilities. I didn’t want to end up a fool.

  “The night I almost drowned, he had convinced me I’d caught a shark. Like somehow a shark had managed to get into our small local lake and survived. Leave it to me to believe him.”

  I clear my throat as my emotions bubble up from my chest. “I wanted to believe him. He was my protector, my teacher, my parent, my best friend… In my eyes, what he said was the gospel.

  “I got the shark tattoo to honor how he saved me that night.” I smile. “I sure didn’t get it to remind me of how gullible I was. Anyhow, every time I fell for one of his fibs, or did something dumb, he’d say I was a trip. You know–the saying.

  “Not long after we moved to San Francisco, we were hanging out with a group of people at a local venue. Nathan was drunk and showing off. In front of everyone, he convinced me one of the guys was an agent wanting to sign us to a label. As soon as he could tell I believed him, he chuckled and said his usual trip phrase. That lie pissed me off since it was our dream to get signed.

  “A hot girl walked up to sit with us afterward, and Nathan looked at her and said, ‘This is my brother, Tripp. The kindest guy you’ll ever meet.’ He locked eyes with me like he meant every word and was sorry for all the teasing. Slipping her arm around the crook of mine, the chick moved in closer and told me I had the coolest name ever. After that, it stuck.”

  Pressing her hand against my chest, Apple gnaws at her lip.

  “Um, did your new nickname get you laid that night?”

  “Hell, yeah, it did.” Apple swats my chest as I laugh. “Nah, it didn’t. I was too shy.”

  With round eyes, she asks, “Were you still a virgin?”

  “No, Brandi was my first, but that was only because I knew her well. Otherwise, I would’ve been a virgin for a long damn time. It wasn’t easy for me to talk to girls back then.”

  “I wouldn’t say that’s changed.” My girl laughs, and I realize I haven’t been hearing it enough lately. I do need to lighten up. “You know my sexual history, so I have no stories to tell,” she adds.

  “I’m relieved you’ve only been with me. I already want to hurt Toby for even trying to get with you. I can’t imagine how jealous I’d be if he’d had a taste first. I’m happy you haven’t even kissed anyone on this tour but me.”

  Apple’s eyes dart away, and her breathing quickens.

  “Um, actually, I did kiss one person on this tour, but that’s in the past. I never thought to tell you since it was before we got together. I mean, I would rather have not known about your French expedition.”

  “I can’t get mad if it was before we were a couple. Who was it?”

  Moving away from me, she looks around the bunk like she’s trying to find an escape route besides the one on the other side of my body.

  “It’s in the past. Let’s focus on the bigger picture here. We’re matched souls.”

  “Then why do you look like you want to bolt? I know I said I’d be jealous if it was Toby, but I promise I won’t kick his ass for kissing you; instead, I’m beating his ass for giving Zain drugs. Come on. Tell me.”

  “OK, fine. It was Zain!” she shouts before she smacks her hand over her mouth and widens her eyes.

  “You and Zain… You kissed him?” I ask slowly because if I don’t, my body’s going to react real damn fast and give Z another reason to be passed out on the couch.

  “It was the second night on the tour when I stayed in his hotel room.”

  I lift my eyebrows and tighten my fists.

  “You kissed him in bed?”

  “I did, but I swear it wasn’t like you’re picturing. I even thought of you while it was happening, so I told Z when we finished that the chemistry wasn’t there.”

  “Apple, even after you and I messed around, you slept in the bunks with him, and the only reason I didn’t lose my shit was because I thought you had only ever been friends.”


  Cupping my cheek, she says, “Listen to me. From the second I stood in front of your sweaty body to ask you for an interview, I was yours. You looked sexy as hell with your ball cap turned backward and your sculpted abs that I got a peek of when you lifted your shirt to wipe your face.

  “Even though you were being a jackass, I still wanted you to grab me and kiss me. Don’t make this into something it’s not. It was always you and forever will be.”

  “Zain’s lucky he’s incapacitated at the moment.”

  “I wouldn’t say he’s lucky … maybe his face. You need to remember all my firsts that belong to you. I can’t claim your firsts, and sometimes that makes me jealous.”

  Clutching her hand, I place it over my heart.

  “You’re the first and only person who will ever have this.”

  “You’re the only one to have my heart, too.” Giving me one of her infectious grins that pushes the freckles on her cheeks out for me to see, she says, “Now, tell me … do you have a cat someone feeds while you’re away?

  “You aren’t one of those hoarders, are you? Do you walk around your house nude? Do you drink from the milk carton? Because we’re going to have an issue if—”

  Shutting her up with my mouth, I pull her body flush against mine. We should check on Richie, but first I have to kiss and touch my angel to banish the insecurities I’ve had all my life.

  Thank fuck, Apple wanted me and not Zain. She doesn’t know it, but from the first moment I laid eyes on her, I wanted her, too, and it would’ve crushed me to watch her fall for someone else.

  Matched souls… I don’t understand it, but I’m grateful it made Apple mine.

  Zain

  I’m the last one off the bus when we arrive at the venue in Minneapolis. After I woke up from passing out, everyone ripped my ass, but I didn’t give them long to do it before I hid out in my bunk.

  They made too big a deal out of it. I took extra Xanax and needed to sleep it off. No biggie. If I hadn’t run out of blow, I would’ve been up instead of down. And damn, I’m still dazed since I wasn’t out for long.

  Son of a bitch.

  I spot Tripp holding on to Toby by the front of his shirt outside the crew’s bus. Apple’s yelling at both of them, so I run over and pull Tripp off of him.

  I shove my finger in his face. “I told you to stay out of this. What Toby does for me is none of your damn business.”

  “He’s nineteen! Do you want to risk ruining his life for your own selfish needs? What happens when he gets busted?”

  “I’m a fucking adult,” Toby snaps, glaring at Tripp.

  “If this continues, I’ll see to it you’re off this tour.”

  “You don’t get to make that call,” I reply.

  “Try me.”

  “Tripp, let it go,” Apple says as she pulls on his arm. Walking backward toward the venue, he drills me with a spiteful look.

  “You and I aren’t finished talking.”

  Fuck him and his self-righteousness. I turn to Toby.

  “Don’t listen to him. He thinks he walks on water.”

  “Screw, Tripp. He’s still jealous about Apple and me.”

  Before we can start walking, Pete approaches us. He brushes back his thinning auburn hair and squints from the sun as he stares into my eyes. Toby catches on that he shouldn’t stick around and heads for the venue.

  “Yelling doesn’t seem to work,” Pete says, “so I’ll do whatever else it takes to get through to you. I’m pleading here. I don’t want to see something happen to you or watch your dad have to bury his kid. You need help, Zain. Secondly, your bandmates deserve better than picking your ass up off the floor and worrying whether you’re going to live through the day.”

  “I appreciate your concern, but I think every one of you are dealing with some sort of PTSD. It’s creepy how much I’m treated like Nathan. You and the band need professional help to deal with your grief. Not me.”

  I don’t allow him the chance to give me more fatherly advice. I already have a dad, and he must not be worried that I have a problem since I haven’t even heard from him since Apple was hurt. I’ve been taking care of myself for as long as I can remember. That’s not changing now.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Olivia

  Blair presses her chest against her raised knee on my sofa to apply the tiny fake diamonds onto her painted toenails. I notice the way the lamp by my sofa makes her raven bob shinier than usual.

  “I can’t believe this is the level of our defiance,” she says as she concentrates to get her placement just right. “Tampering with our pedicures.”

  Thinking of Z, I reply, “I may have another opportunity for us to be defiant, but I can’t share the details yet.”

  Pausing, Blair tilts her chocolate-brown eyes up at me. “Hmm … you being defiant… Tell me when and where and I’m there.”

  “I have to tell you something else first. You’re going to flip out, but I need you to stay put until you calm down. It’s important that you don’t react and make the situation worse.”

  Scrunching her forehead, Blair sets her nail supplies on the coffee table in front of us and gives me her undivided attention.

  “This sounds serious, so I’m guessing it has to do with Ken.”

  “He’s blackmailing me.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “He said if I don’t stay with him, he’ll leak incriminating photos of Landon, showing he’s gay. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the copies he gave me.”

  Putting a foot down on the floor, Blair purses her lips. I can tell it’s difficult for her not to tear out of this condo to confront him.

  “Did you remind the asshole of the dirt you have on him?”

  “I did, but it was pointless. I can’t risk humiliating Landon or our family. It’s one thing for Ken to say my brother’s gay. Maybe it would even work in Landon’s favor. He’d have to admit it and could finally be himself.

  “But the photos … they change everything. Those images would follow my brother for the rest of his life and shred apart our family that’s already hanging on by a thread. You know I’m right.”

  “We can’t let him get away with this.”

  “I know, but as of late, I have no ideas on how to make that happen. I refuse to tell Landon about it, and you have to promise me you won’t, either.”

  “I don’t know, Liv. He should have a say in this.”

  “No.” I grab her arm on the other side of the sofa. “He’d take matters into his own hands to protect my future. I chose to let my parents and Ken control my life. Landon shouldn’t have to pay the price for that decision.”

  “Who’s to say the shit stain isn’t bluffing? Surely, he doesn’t want a rumor about him and Aaron circulating. Even if no one believed it, it would be humiliating.”

  “He’s not bluffing. I saw it in his eyes. Our fathers have already convinced him he’s untouchable. The man visualizes himself inside the Oval Office, and he’s not even a politician yet.”

  “I’d like to grab him by the balls and squeeze them until they burst.”

  “That’s disgusting.”

  “For safety precautions, I’d wear one of those clear plastic shields on my face.”

  I giggle. “I can’t believe you managed to make me laugh about this dilemma. You’re just like Z.”

  “Who’s Z?”

  Realizing my slip, I look away from her. “He’s the drifter I told you about. We’ve talked some more. He reminds me of you in the sense that he wants to protect not only me but also my feelings. I can tell he doesn’t like it when I’m sad.”

  “I thought you barely knew the guy.”

  “We had this instant connection that’s progressing rapidly. I wasn’t going to tell you yet, but he wants us to meet in person–tomorrow night. That’s what I meant about being defiant.”

  “Wow, tomorrow? Does he know about Ken?”

  “Yes, but not about Landon. With a simple search online, Z could match names to what
I’ve told him and sell the story, but somehow, I know he won’t. Like you, he’d prefer to kick Ken’s ass.”

  “You better meet him far away from here. If someone we know sees you two together, the news will spread like a California wildfire.” She points at me. “And you’re not going alone. You have to take Landon and me.”

  “I don’t think I should tell my brother. He won’t like that I’m meeting a strange man.”

  “Trust me; he’ll go along with anything to keep you from marrying Ken.”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  “In the meantime, I’ll think of how we can take down Mr. Barbie.”

  Zain

  My phone rings after I board our private jet for a red-eye to San Francisco. I see Olivia’s name, and it’s like she can read my mind. I was going to call her before takeoff.

  “Hello, Butterfly. What’s up?” There’s silence on the other end. Maybe I’m getting bad reception. “Are you there?”

  “Why did you call me that?”

  “What? Butterfly?”

  “Yes.”

  “One landed on me today, and it made me think of you. I feel damn lucky every time you call or text me, and since I never know when that will be, you remind me of a butterfly.”

  “That’s crazy.”

  “Was I too honest? I tend to overshare when I’ve been drinking, and I’ve been doing a lot of that tonight.” Silence again. “Hey, don’t hang up.”

  “I’m not. It’s just that I had butterflies land on me this week, too. Our connection freaks me out.”

  “Same, but I’m also digging it.” I notice everyone looking at me and eavesdropping. The band’s on board, along with Pete, Nash, Apple and Emma. I’m so pissed at Tripp and Pete that I almost flew commercial with the crew, but that would’ve been a media nightmare.

  “Hey, give me a second. I need to find somewhere more private to talk.” Covering my phone, I look at Faith. “We need to rehearse later for that thing.”

  She gives a sly grin. “Right. That thing we’re doing to impress the chick you’re on the phone with.”

  While shaking my head, I feel my damn cheeks heat. She nailed that one. I head to a small leather sofa at the rear where I can speak privately.