Dark On Me (Borrowed Faith Book 2)

by Ruby Rowe

  “What are those?”

  “Adderall. Then, I take shit to bring me down when I want to sleep.”

  “You don’t have any problems with that cycle?”

  “Nope. I have a system that works.”

  Swallowing the pain reliever, she eyes me.

  “I’ll think about it while I shower.”

  “I’ll get us some breakfast.”

  As soon as Olivia leaves the room, I look at the clock on the wall. It’s only eighty-thirty, and we didn’t go to bed until after four this morning. I need something to get me going, too, so I cut some lines on the nightstand.

  My nose feels raw after I do them, which means it’ll be bleeding later. Maybe I wasn’t completely honest with Liv. I do find myself needing more of this shit every day, but it’s not like that’ll happen to her. I’ve been doing this for years, and she’s tried it once. She has nothing to worry about.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Olivia

  “Olivia,” Apple says in awe as she holds up the top and skirt I made for her. She and Tripp just rejoined us on the bus at the venue in Orlando before the band heads inside to get ready for their next show. I’ve worked my ass off for almost three full days and have been impatiently waiting to show her the outfit.

  “Do you like it?”

  “I love how you made the skirt short and edgy with black leather, yet it’s flowy, which gives it a softer appearance.”

  “That suits you,” Faith says to her on the couch in the common area. “I’m digging it.”

  “Thank you,” I reply with a smile.

  “And this top…” Apple turns it around for even the guys to see. “It’s bright yellow, like the Borrowed Faith logo, so it’ll look awesome at gigs, yet once again, you made it softer and sweeter looking with this scoop-neck design. I love this outfit.”

  I beam with pride.

  “I told you,” Zain says before he pulls me against him on the couch. “I happen to know a thing or two about fashion.”

  Apple laughs at him. “Please, Z. You alternate wearing the same three pairs of blue jeans with about five different t-shirts.”

  “That’s because you women take up all the space on the bus with your own damn clothes. Why do you need so many?”

  “Hey, now. The space I’ll be taking up on this bus got your girl on it. Remember?”

  “Right, and I’m still grateful for that.”

  “I’m going to stay up tonight to make you another top that you can swap out to wear with the skirt. It’s going to be hot-pink with a mock turtleneck, but it’ll be sleeveless for summer. Sexy yet sophisticated.”

  “Ooh, I’ll need some pearls for that one. These outfits warrant a new pair of spiked black heels, too.” She winks at Tripp. “I may even order some strappy gray sandals.”

  “That sounds perfect,” I reply. Coming over to me, Apple leans down and gives me a hug.

  “I’m so happy you agreed to do this. You’re making me fall in love with clothes, and I never thought that was possible. You’re bound to need some rest, though. Sleep tonight.”

  Faith interrupts to ask Tripp and Apple about their trip to Georgia, so while the gang talks, Z plants a kiss on my cheek.

  “She’s right; you do need to rest. You’ve barely slept for days.”

  “And it’s been incredible. I’ve gotten so much done, and I have so much more to do.”

  “There’s no rush. It’s time to come down, babe. I’m giving you something to help you sleep tonight. I’ve hardly had any rest myself, and when you sleep, it helps me do the same.”

  I sigh, knowing he’s right. I’ve done lines of blow each day to keep me going, but my body has to sleep at some point. I can’t imagine what that shit costs, too. Z’s paid for all of it.

  That’s changing now, though. My parents did cancel my credit cards, but since I finished Apple’s first outfit quickly, Zain convinced me to ask her for an advance on her wardrobe. She agreed, so that’ll get me by for a while.

  “OK. I’ll rest once you’re back from your show tonight, but I have to work all day tomorrow. I’ve never been happier than I am right now. I’m getting to be with you while doing my dream job. Thank you.”

  Clasping my chin, he gives me a soft kiss. “No thanks needed. I couldn’t be happier myself.”

  Apple

  While Tripp showers, I sit on the couch in the back lounge and flip through a magazine about home decorating. I bought it at a gas station when we stopped this morning on our way to Columbia, South Carolina. At least, I think that’s where we’re headed.

  Tripp shocked me with our vacation home in Atlanta. The remodel was breathtaking, and he filled every room with new furniture. He’s having the yard, lake dock, and the steps down to it refurbished next.

  He said he’d leave the rest of the decorating up to me, so I’m excited to give our home a personal touch. Instead of having sex on the floor, like our first time, Tripp made love to me in our bed. It was a fabulous getaway that went by too quickly.

  We talked about the elaborate wedding I want to have, and he was OK with it as long as we could make it happen within a year. That’s not going to be easy, but Mom’s excited to help pull it off. She’s already searching for a venue, caterer and florist.

  Since we got together, Tripp’s been the man I’ve dreamed of all my life, so it’s time I do something special for him. I need to think of the perfect gift.

  I glance up when Zain walks in. Sitting beside me, he says, “I owe you an apology.”

  “For what?” Interested in where this is going, I shut the magazine.

  “I get it now. Why you never gave up on Tripp. I couldn’t wrap my brain around why it had to be him, but I understand how you couldn’t control your feelings.”

  “Zain…” I grab his hand and squeeze it. “Thank you for that. Oh, my God. You’re falling in love with Olivia.”

  Letting his head fall back against the couch, he exhales.

  “It’s scary shit, Orange, but I can’t fight it. It just is what it is.” He grins impishly. “I can’t fight the feelin’.”

  “Yeah. It’s as if a higher power is at work, helping us find our person.”

  “As much as I’ve never bought into that kind of thinking, it’s hard not to believe it now. Liv and I were supposed to be in the same room together over two years ago, but it didn’t happen because Nathan died. I cancelled a gig she’d bought a ticket to so that I could tour with Borrowed Faith instead.”

  It’s her. She’s the one.

  Nathan’s voice echoes around me.

  Shifting sideways, I bring Z’s hand up near my chest.

  “Zain, Olivia is your person. I can’t tell you how I know, but I do. You can’t lose her. I mean it.”

  “He’s going to lose her if he keeps feeding her drugs,” Faith spouts from the doorway. “She’s so fucking out of it right now. I had to make a cup of coffee for her because she couldn’t stop knocking shit over on the counter.”

  “Mind your own business, Queeny.”

  “Seriously?” I ask Z with frustration.

  “She’s only been with us a week. She’s trying to adjust like you had to do in the beginning, so I gave her something to help her sleep last night.”

  “And something to keep her wide awake the last several days.”

  Zain stands and marches toward the doorway. He points at Faith.

  “Once again, this is about Nathan, not me. Deal with your own goddamn issues.” He leaves, and I stare at Faith.

  “He’s giving her more than sleeping pills,” she says. “I’m only trying to buckle his seatbelt before the crash.”

  “I understand, but attacking him about it doesn’t seem to solve anything. Richie never forced me to take drugs. I’m sure he’s not forcing her, either.”

  “You agree with him. You think this is about Nathan.”

  “Not your concern for Richie; however, I do think how angry you get about it is because of Nathan. Maybe the band talking to
a professional wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.”

  She turns to leave, but not before spouting, “I knew I shouldn’t have told you about my feelings for Nate.”

  Once alone in the lounge, I sigh and open my magazine. Every time I think Borrowed Faith is making progress, they prove me wrong.

  Olivia

  “Good morning … or noon,” Zain says as he takes a seat beside me on the couch in the common area. I take another sip of my coffee.

  “I’m struggling today.”

  “Yeah, Faith told me, but the coffee should help.”

  “Zain, we have a problem,” Pete says from the table after he ends a phone call. He bounces his eyes between the two of us. “A tabloid called. They want to know if you’d like to make a statement about the girl you’re seeing. The one they took photos of while the two of you were in Miami.”

  He gives Zain a stern look, and I wonder if being seen in public with me breaks some kind of band rule.

  “Shit.” With his arm behind me, Z plays with the back of my hair. His eyebrows pull together, his gaze one of concern. “That means they’re going to share those photos of us soon … like today.”

  I widen my eyes. “Already?”

  “I told you it could happen while we were out shopping. I only hope the paparazzi weren’t lurking on the beach since those photos would be a bit more controversial, especially the ones from the second night.” He tries not to smile but fails miserably.

  “This isn’t funny.”

  “I didn’t say it was, but that night was spectacular, so I’m going to think about it. Do you have any photos of you and Ken on your social media accounts?”

  “Old ones.”

  “You need to delete them now. Maybe then it won’t leak that you recently ended an engagement. Luckily, you’ve already told Ken and your parents it’s over.”

  “I don’t know if I’m ready to handle all of this.” Setting my coffee down, I start toward the bunk room.

  “Olivia, wait.”

  I spin around. “Don’t. I need time alone. I–I didn’t think this through.”

  “What through?”

  “This. The whole world knowing my business. I thought it would take longer.” I leave before he can speak again. Instead of climbing inside his bunk, I get in the one cramped with my stuff.

  Hurrying, I go through my phone and delete my fake fairytale past on my social media accounts. After all my years with Ken, it feels strange to erase our life together, but that existence is over.

  Once I’m finished, I call Landon.

  “Hey, sis. What’s up?” he asks after the first ring.

  “I’m freaking out. A tabloid is going to share photos that were taken of Zain and me while we were in Miami.”

  “I assumed you were keeping your relationship private for a while.”

  “He needed reassurance that I wasn’t ashamed of being with him, so I couldn’t keep it private.”

  “I don’t know why you’re surprised about the photos. Tabloids dish dirty details about celebrities every day, and Zain is one of the most famous right now. He’s hot, wild and talented.”

  “I know how appealing he is. I’m lovesick because Z’s all of those things and more, and I’m afraid of what could happen to our relationship once the world knows about us.”

  “You used the word lovesick. Do you love him already?”

  “I do.”

  “Then roll with it. This will get you out from under our parents’ and Ken’s control for good. That is, as long as you’re not suddenly under Zain’s.”

  “What does that mean?” I ask rudely.

  “If you feel like he’s making decisions for you, then you’re no more independent than you were with Ken. All I’m saying is to move at your pace. Follow your gut.”

  My brother always realizes things about me before I can see them for myself.

  “I didn’t mean to jump right into another relationship, but I couldn’t resist him. Zain has all the qualities I’ve wanted to possess myself. Well, minus a penis, but he has an awesome one of those, too.”

  “OK, that’s more than I needed to hear.”

  “Are Mom and Dad harassing you?”

  “Constantly. They want me to get through to you, but I told them it won’t work.”

  “Has Ken called you?”

  “Uh, no. He wouldn’t do that.”

  “Why not?”

  “He probably knows it’d be futile after what he did to you.”

  “Oh, true.”

  “Look, as long as you’re not out acting wild, I doubt there’ll be serious repercussions to dating Zain Richie. Have fun, and don’t worry about Mom and Dad.”

  “I miss you.”

  “I miss you, too, but you’ll be back home in no time.”

  “Right. Talk soon.”

  Lying in my bunk, I stare at the ceiling and think about how fast the time is already going. Fall will come, and Zain will leave to go to Canada and Europe. We’ll be apart again.

  Hearing a tapping sound, I open the curtain. Z’s standing before me with a pouty lip and a pronounced worry line across his forehead.

  “Can we talk yet?”

  I smile. “Yeah, but in your bunk. Mine’s cramped.” I follow him into his and face him on my side. “I’m sorry if I worried you. Hearing that I’m going to be in magazines and on the Internet freaked me out.”

  “So, it wasn’t us you didn’t think through?”

  “No, and before you came to my bunk, I was thinking about how we’ll be apart again this fall. I hate the way it made my stomach feel and heart hurt.” Inhaling a deep breath, I cup his cheek. “I already love you.”

  As he covers my hand with his, it’s as if he’s transferring his elation. I feel it, somehow, how my words mean everything to him. A warmth spreads through my body, soothing my nerves.

  With watery eyes, Zain clears his throat. He leans his forehead against mine and utters, “I love you, too. I had no idea those words would sound so good to say or feel so good to hear.”

  “Ditto.”

  Pulling his phone out, he types something before shoving it back in his pocket.

  “I told Pete to tell the tabloid I was only with a friend. I shouldn’t have pressured you to go out in public with me so soon.”

  “I agreed to, and maybe the tabloids won’t think there’s a juicy scandal to unearth if we’re forthcoming with information. If you want, tell them we’re dating.”

  “Are you sure?”

  I nod, and his face beams before he removes his phone and starts typing again. His phone dings with a return text, and he types back.

  “I asked Apple if I could mention that you were her designer. She was cool with it, so I told Pete to say that I’m in a relationship with Apple Kingsley’s clothing designer, Olivia Bradford. You may as well get a plug out of this.”

  “I’m nervous.”

  “I can stop him.”

  “No. It’s all right. I’m only surprised by how quickly my life has changed. Now, I need to get to work. I feel even more pressure to finish that other top for Apple and to start on her next outfit. Do you care if I do a bump to pep me up?”

  “No, I need one, too. I gotta wake my ass up before our radio interview. I think we have time to fit in something else fun. You know, to celebrate our love.” He shakes his head. “Damn, that was corny.”

  I push him onto his back. “Don’t worry; it didn’t make me love your cock any less. I think it’s been missing my mouth.”

  “I need my pants down to tell.” As he rushes to undo them, I laugh. “My favorite sound,” he adds before he looks down at his dick that’s at full-attention. “Yes, he agrees to missing your mouth.”

  I slide my lips over his cock, and the groan Zain exhales pleases me. Nothing has ever made me happier than pleasing him, and that’s not unhealthy because he’s not mean and controlling like Ken. This is different. Z is different. Landon has nothing to worry about.

  CHAPTER TWENTY
-EIGHT

  Four Days Later

  Olivia

  Putting my foot on the pedal, I speed up the sewing machine so I won’t hear my phone ringing–again. Zain grabs it from where he’s sitting near me on the couch in the back lounge of the crew’s bus.

  We only left the venue in Washington, D.C., about a half hour ago, and I have so much work to do since Zain insisted that I attend the show. Once I see him speak into my cell, I hurry to release the pedal.

  “She’s busy living her life instead of having it dictated by some cheating asshole who thinks he’s going to suck dick while having his pussy, too. Oh, wait, I stand corrected. Liv told me you don’t know how to lick—”

  Grabbing the phone, I hang it up. “Zain!” Seeing his mischievous grin, I can’t help but burst into laughter. He joins in, pulling me from my space behind the sewing machine and onto his lap.

  “You’re impossible,” I add as he flips me on my back, causing my head to smack the cushion. I scrunch my nose as he covers my body with his.

  “Are you OK?” he asks as our laughter ends and I cough.

  “Yeah.”

  “Don’t get mad at me.”

  “I laughed, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah, but if you think about it again, you’ll stress. I know you already.”

  Gliding my fingers through his hair, I sigh.

  “I’m going to stress. I’ve been thrust into the limelight and stalked by paparazzi the last few days. I don’t know how to handle it all.”

  “You handle it with this,” Toby says behind me. I tilt my head back, and he holds the bong above my face as he exhales a puff of smoke.

  “Apple’s clothes are going to smell like weed and dirty feet. Sorry, guys, but this bus smells disgusting.” Zain helps us both up and straightens his thick hair.

  “Serves Apple right for refusing to let me on the bus,” he replies. “She and Tripp shouldn’t have acted self-righteous and uptight. What rock band doesn’t smoke weed on the road? Hell, I grew up in a constant cloud of smoke.”

  Toby brings the bong closer to me. “If you’re going to say I have stinky feet, you’re at least going to be high with me while you do it.”