Ghostly Rules

by K E O'Connor

  Chelsea glanced over her shoulder and then leaned closer to me. “If you find anything of interest about Lonnie’s gold, make sure to let me know first.” She pulled a bundle of notes from her ample cleavage and passed them to me. “Anything at all. And if you do, I’ll make sure you get more of that.”

  I stared down at the uncomfortably warm bundle of notes in my hand. “I’m happy to share any information I can with you.”

  Chelsea tapped the side of her nose and winked at me. “Do that. If you can figure out this mystery, I might employ you as my personal assistant. You can get away from Elita and her boring plans. You’ll have much more fun in my company. I’m planning a trip to Aspen, and then there’s Ibiza to look forward to. Stay on my good side and you can enjoy all of that.”

  It sounded like my idea of hell. I held out the money. “You don’t need to pay me to do this.”

  Chelsea shook her head and backed away from the desk, not taking the money from me. “Call it a little bonus for future services rendered. And just remember, there’s plenty more where that came from.” She turned on her heels and vanished out of the study while I was still staring at the bundle of money.

  Lonnie knocked some pens off the desk, drawing my attention back to him.

  “Is Chelsea always like that?”

  He grimaced and nodded.

  “Your wife bribed me to act as her informant against your family. Have you been keeping a secret from her?”

  Lonnie adjusted the cuffs on his shirt. He looked at the large gold ring on his wedding ring finger and made a show of removing it.

  “She wasn’t the wife you hoped she’d be?”

  He gave a shrug, his shoulders slumping forward. He drifted over to some photographs on the mantelpiece and pointed at one of Elita surrounded by other family members. I peered at the picture and had to admit they looked happy. It was one of the rare pictures of them where everyone was smiling. Lonnie had his arm draped over Elita’s shoulders as she gazed up at him, the love in her expression clear.

  “Maybe you’re regretting trading Elita in for a younger model,” I said. “One who’s more interested in this mysterious gold than you?”

  Lonnie tugged on his bottom lip and then nodded. He gestured at my chest.

  I looked down at my tailored pale green jacket. “What are you pointing at?”

  He jabbed his finger at me again and then mimed two enormous breasts on his own chest. He turned around and wiggled his butt at me.

  If I’d have been able to, I’d have slapped Lonnie’s face. Men, sometimes they were too simple for their own good. “You traded Elita in for someone with bigger boobs and a wiggle?”

  Lonnie turned back towards me and hung his head.

  “You’re right to be ashamed of yourself,” I said. “Those things fade and sag. A perky twenty-year-old butt isn’t going to look the same on a sixty-year-old.”

  Lonnie raised his hands in supplication.

  I tapped my finger against my lips. “If Chelsea figured out you were only interested in her physical assets and discovered you had hidden assets that would become hers when you died, it would give her an excellent motive for killing you. With you out of the way, she could get her hands on everything.”

  Lonnie’s gaze shifted to the door Chelsea had strutted through, and he nodded.

  “You don’t remember seeing her in the bathroom just before you died?”

  He shook his head and closed his eyes.

  “Were you asleep in the bath?”

  Lonnie shook his head but kept his eyes closed.

  “You had your eyes closed when your killer tossed the radio into the water?”

  He nodded and opened his eyes.

  “It’s a horrible way to die,” I said. “And if Chelsea is involved, we’ll figure out how to prove it. If she keeps chasing after this hidden gold, she’s going to make herself the key suspect in your murder.”

  The door to the study slammed open for the second time, and Elita stormed in, followed by a worried looking Helen, carrying a red and black dress and a sewing kit.

  “Is everything okay, Mrs. Cornell?” I asked.

  She slammed her hand on the desk. “What’s that scheming bitch been up to?”

  Chapter 8

  Slipping the money Chelsea had given me under a pile of paperwork, I pasted a smile on my face. “I’m not sure who you mean.”

  “I saw Chelsea leaving this office.” Elita’s kohl rimmed eyes narrowed. “She’s always poking her nose into business that doesn’t concern her.”

  “She was asking about Lonnie’s funeral.”

  Lonnie drifted over to the desk, watching Elita as he did so.

  Elita shook her head. “No. Chelsea didn’t want anything to do with arranging Lonnie’s funeral and left everything to me. Now the hard work’s over, she wants to reap the rewards. But it’s not going to happen. Whatever she told you to do, don’t do it. You’re in my employ, not hers.”

  “I understand that,” I said. “You have nothing to worry about.”

  Elita waved a hand at me. “She wants me out of this house. It’s never going to happen, though. Lonnie promised me a place here for as long as I wanted it. That’s why he left me half the house in his will. I was his first love, just as he was mine. That little money grubber has come in here and thinks she can take everything away.”

  “Shall I continue altering your dress?” asked Helen quietly.

  Elita’s gaze snapped to her, and she nodded. “Yes. Sorry, Helen, I didn’t mean to abandon our dress making session, but I had to make sure Chelsea wasn’t getting her claws into Lorna.”

  Helen knelt next to Elita and began pinning the hem on her dress, shooting me a grimace as she did so.

  “They’ve only been married for eight months,” said Elita. “Chelsea can’t own everything after being his wife for such a short time. We were married for fifteen years, and I gave Lonnie the best years of my life. I stood by his side, no matter what he did. And he spent time in jail. Did you know that?”

  “No.” Although the news didn’t come as a huge surprise.

  “It was nothing serious. The police could never get anything to stick on him. My Lonnie was such a clever man. But I waited six months for him to come out, and I visited every single week. I always got myself dressed up and made sure he knew what he was missing. And now this! He betrays me with that tart, and she’s working to get me out of here before Lonnie’s even cold.”

  “Chelsea wasn’t looking for information that will get you out of the house,” I said. No, she was interested in grabbing as many of Lonnie’s assets as she could, including this mysterious gold Sylvia told me about.

  “I think she’s cheated on Lonnie.” Elita continued as if she hadn’t heard me. “She didn’t deserve him or any of this.”

  “I’m done with this dress,” said Helen. “Do you want to change into the next one, and I’ll alter that as well?”

  Elita shrugged out of the black dress Helen had altered and held her hand out for the next one, standing in front of me in her fitted black slip.

  I admired Elita’s confidence. I hated trying on clothes in communal changing rooms, but Elita was not fazed by us being there while she stood in her underwear.

  “I need this dress ready as soon as possible.” Elita smoothed the fabric over her thighs. “I can’t wander around looking like a grieving widow. Since I’m not even Lonnie’s widow, what’s the point of making a pretense of it? Take the hem up three inches on this one. My legs are my best asset.”

  Helen shot me a wide-eyed look as she pulled out her pin case and dropped to her knees again.

  “So?” Elita fixed me with a fierce gaze. “Tell me exactly what Chelsea wanted.”

  I still wasn’t sure how much to reveal about the gold robbery Sylvia had spoken of. “I think she was interested in what Lonnie left her in the will.”

  “The will! I knew it! That’s all she’s ever been after, getting the most out of the situation. Lonnie left
her well provided for so she won’t go begging; she’d never have married him otherwise. Do you know what the age gap was between the two of them?”

  “Ten years?” I guessed.

  “More like fifteen,” muttered Helen through a mouthful of hemming pins.

  “Try twenty. She could be his daughter. Frankly, it’s embarrassing for both of them.” Elita drew in a big gulp of air. “If only Lonnie hadn’t been such an old fool, unable to see past her fake boobs and overly painted face. He’d have seen there was no heart there, and she didn’t love him. Not like I did. Even after Lonnie left me, I still hoped he might realize what a fool he’d been and come back. Even after everything he put me through, I’d have been waiting for him.”

  Lonnie, who had been content to listen to our conversation, moved closer to Elita, his head lowered.

  “Men can be idiots, sometimes,” said Helen.

  “Idiots and cheaters,” said Elita. “I knew about Lonnie’s little indiscretions, but none were serious. That was until Chelsea got her claws into him. I knew something was different after they met at a charity cricket match we attended. She wouldn’t leave him alone. As soon as she set her sights on him, it was as if everybody else was invisible. She flirted with him while I stood by his side. I should have ripped out her hair extensions and stuck a pin in that too big chest of hers.”

  “Maybe you should have,” I said. “Might have stopped things going any further.”

  “Looking back, I wish I had,” said Elita. “But I figured she was just another of Lonnie’s floozies. And besides, he was getting old. He was still handsome, but no longer turned heads the way he used to when he was twenty. He was such a good-looking guy, in his best suit, his hair slicked back, and a gleam of naughtiness in his eyes. Knocked me right off my feet the first time we met.”

  “The hem’s done.” Helen stood and put her pins away.

  Lonnie dropped to his knees and ran a hand up Elita’s exposed flesh.

  “Oh, yes, my dress. Thank you, Helen.” Elita rested her hands on the desk. “Actually, I feel a bit faint.”

  I waved Lonnie away, knowing his contact was making Elita feel bad.

  He took a long look at Elita’s legs before floating away.

  Helen grabbed a chair and placed it behind Elita. “Take a seat. You do look pale.” She looked at me and mouthed the word ghost.

  I nodded, keeping a close eye on Lonnie to make sure he didn’t decide to return for another feel of his ex-wife’s legs.

  Elita sank into the chair and rested her head in her hands. “I’m finding this stressful. I didn’t think I’d care when Lonnie died. Why should I after everything he did to me? It’s a shock the way it happened.”

  “It sounds like a horrible accident,” I said.

  A sob shot out of Elita, and she clamped a hand over her mouth. “It’s my fault.”

  I raised my eyebrows and looked at Helen. “You had something to do with Lonnie’s death?”

  “I loved him, but I must have wished him dead a dozen times,” said Elita. “And now, I feel terrible. I forced my wishes into reality. I killed Lonnie.”

  I walked around the desk and patted Elita’s shoulder. “You wishing something will happen doesn’t mean it will. I sometimes wish Helen wouldn’t sing so loudly in the shower, but it won’t change her noisy off-key singing every morning.”

  “Lorna, that’s not appropriate.” Helen glared at me. “I have a lovely singing voice.”

  “It’s more than that.” Elita wiped tears from her cheeks. “My family descended from Romany gypsies. We were a strong and powerful family. And we have abilities.”

  “What kind of abilities?” asked Helen.

  “I had an aunt who could predict the future,” said Elita. “She knew I would marry Lonnie.”

  “Maybe your aunt knew that because she saw the two of you together and decided you were a good match,” I said.

  “No. That wasn’t a one-off. She was always doing it. It was a spooky ability of hers. And my mother was the same. She could see things before they happened. And if anybody fell out with her, something bad always happened to them. You never went to sleep on an argument you had with my mom, because the next day, you’d wake up with a face covered in pimples. She could be vindictive with her abilities.”

  “You make it sound as if you hexed Lonnie,” said Helen. “Do you have these abilities too?”

  “I didn’t think so, but I must have.” Elita nodded, her eyes red-rimmed as more tears fell. “That’s what I did. I wished him dead. You can’t take a hex back once you’ve cast it.”

  “For a hex to work, you’d have to mean it,” I said. “I have bad thoughts sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I want the horrid things that pop into my head to happen. I don’t blame you for feeling bitter towards Lonnie, though. It sounds as if he didn’t treat you well.”

  Elita nodded. “He was always one extreme or the other. Lonnie could have a heart of gold or a heart of ice. His moods changed so quickly, and I never knew what to expect. I suppose that was a part of his charm. He kept me on my toes, and I was never bored when I was with him. I wish he’d felt the same when it came to me.”

  “I’m sure he loved you.” I looked at Lonnie, and he nodded several times.

  “He did,” said Elita, “especially when we were first together. He was like my swan. You know, they mate for life?”

  “I didn’t know that,” I said. We had moved from family hexes to birds’ mating behavior at a head spinning rate.

  “I wasn’t his swan, though.” Elita grabbed a hanky from the box on the desk and dabbed her eyes and nose. “I wish I’d been good enough for him.”

  “You were more than good enough for him,” said Helen. “You stood by him when he was silly enough to get himself thrown into prison; you never complained when he cheated, and even when he divorced you and married Chelsea, you stayed and made sure his final farewell was a good one.”

  “You think I’m a fool.” Elita blinked up at Helen.

  “I think you’re a woman in love,” said Helen. “And love makes people do ridiculous things. But you stood by your man, stood by the person you thought was your soulmate. I have to admire you for that.”

  “Lonnie’s the fool in all of this. He didn’t know what an amazing woman he had until he lost you.” I looked over to where Lonnie was standing. His head was bowed, and his hands clasped in front of him as if he was praying or in mourning. And perhaps, he was. Having heard Elita talk about her lost love and how much she missed him, he would have to be a heartless individual not to feel anything.

  “I hope Lonnie realizes his mistakes,” said Helen.

  I gestured discreetly to the corner Lonnie was in and nodded at Helen. “If he were able to, I’m sure he’d want to make amends. That must be why he gave you half the house.”

  “I’d give up all of my jewels, my expensive clothes, and even this house to have Lonnie back,” said Elita. “For all his faults, I’d still forgive him.”

  Lonnie raised his head and pressed one hand over his heart.

  “I don’t think you have anything to worry about in regards to your hex killing Lonnie,” I said to Elita. “It sounds as if he had a few enemies.”

  “You’re right. My hex didn’t end his life. And you’re also right about him having enemies.” Elita gave me a quizzical look as she dried the last of her tears. “But why should that matter? Lonnie’s death was an accident.”

  “Oh, of course it was,” I said. “I didn’t mean anything by that. Simply that other people might have wished him dead as well. I’m sure you weren’t the only one to say angry words about Lonnie.”

  Elita snuffled into the hanky. “I guess so. You know, your references didn’t mention how well you deal with emotionally messed up middle-aged women. I’ve plunged you headlong into a family drama, what with the two of you walking in on the day of Lonnie’s funeral, followed by us getting rowdy during the wake. Neither of you blinked. You’re both still here, and for that, I�
�m grateful.”

  I guess word hadn’t got back to Elita that we’d tried to vanish in the middle of the night. “We’re happy to help.”

  “You’re both good girls,” said Elita. “And you deserve a reward.”

  I hoped she wasn’t going to pull out a wedge of cash and give it to me. It seemed to be something of a trend in this household.

  “We’re going to have a fun evening.” Elita straightened her spine and smiled. “I have a good feeling about you both. I like you already. And we can solidify our friendship with cocktails and fun. Time for you girls to get your glad rags on.”

  Chapter 9

  I blinked in surprise at Elita. “We don’t need a party. We’re only doing our jobs.”

  Helen frowned at me. “But a few cocktails would be nice.”

  “Absolutely,” said Elita, as she patted Helen’s arm. “You’ve already done such a great job on the dresses I’ve given you, and I need to show one off this evening. And the two of you will be there by my side when I do so. I’ll get us some fancy food, as well. What’s your favorite?”

  “Thai,” said Helen.

  “Mexican,” I said.

  “Well, my favorite is Italian,” said Elita. “I’m assuming the two of you like pizza?”

  “Sure, who doesn’t love pizza?” I said.

  “Then it’s a date.” Elita stood. “I’m feeling better already, now I have something to look forward to.”

  “Where’s the party taking place?” asked Helen as she bounced on her toes. Nothing made Helen happier than exotic cocktails and plenty of food.

  “Meet me in the dining room in two hours,” said Elita. “And make sure you both dress up. We’re going to have a fun evening getting to know each other. And I’ll invite the rest of the family, too. You didn’t get the chance to meet everybody yesterday, so this will be your opportunity.”

  A little of the pleasure I felt faded at the thought of having to spend the evening with the scheming Chelsea and the intimidating Carson.

  I couldn’t think of a decent enough excuse to get out of the party before Elita left the room and let out a sigh as I looked at Helen.