The Dangerous Adventures of Jeep Muldoon!

by Matt Musson



  The Dangerous Adventures of Jeep Muldoon!

  By

  Matt Musson

  * * * * *

  PUBLISHED BY:

  The Dangerous Adventures of Jeep Muldoon!

  The Boy Who Finds Things reveals his most dangerous adventures ever. But, will they be too dangerous to handle?

  Copyright © 2009, 2011, 2012 by Matt Musson

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. Thank you for respecting the author's work.

  * * * * * * * * * *

  Table of Contents

  Forward by Jeep Muldoon

  The Secret of the Civil War Gold!

  The Adventure of the Rocket Bike!

  Santa Clause Comes to Granite Falls

  We Capture the Wampus Cat!

  Rescue at Pickle Curve

  About the Author

  FORWARD By Jeep Muldoon:

  First of all, if you know my Mom, please do not tell her about this book. Especially do not tell her the title of this book. I swear that if Mom knew I was having Dangerous Adventures, she would give birth to live kittens!

  And, if your Mom knows my Mom, do not tell your Mom about this book either, because you know how Moms talk.

  And, if you know my little sister Jenny, do not tell her about this book under any circumstances! Let’s face it, she’s a little sister. She would rather tell on me than breath. And, then I would probably get grounded for life and never have another adventure ever.

  Of course, feel free to talk to Grandpa Gus about these adventures. And, you can discuss it with anyone in the Ranger club. They were part of there. If I get in trouble, they get in trouble too.

  So, just as a rule of thumb, think twice when you talk about this book with anyone who has already graduated from High School, and things should be just fine. However, if you do tell anyone else about this book, maybe you should just give me one of those fake names so no one knows it is really me. Call me Terrance Hackensack or maybe Tumbler Barstow. In fact, call me whatever you like. Just do not call me Jeep Muldoon!

  And of course, I need to warn you about how you should not ever, ever, ever try these dangerous adventures for yourself. So, here goes. Do not try this at home. Do not fire a Civil War cannon. Do not build and pilot your own rocket bike. Do not fly cluster balloons into the stratosphere. And do not ever under any circumstances ever face down the legendary Wampus Cat!

  Still, if you do choose to ignore my advice and have dangerous adventures of your very own, here is one last piece of advice: Do not tell your Mother about your adventures either!

  The Secret of the Civil War Gold

  Every year on the third weekend in October, Civil War re-enactors come from all over the state to stage a mock battle in Granite Falls that professional historians have described as “the least decisive confrontation of 1863.” However, both the North and the South claimed victory in the battle for our little town, so both re-enacting sides get to ‘win’ at Granite Falls. Plus, it is always one of the most beautiful fall weekends of the year and it is a great time to be outside re-fighting the War of Northern Aggression. So, with booming cannons and rifles thundering, and with bugles sounding charges for horse mounted cavalry, you can bet that every member of the Granite Falls Rangers spends that October weekend in the thick of battle.

  The middle schoolers of Granite Falls look at the annual re-enactment as a great opportunity to play soldier with hundreds of ‘big kids’. What makes it even better is that anybody participating gets out of school on Friday. So, not only do we get to play soldier all day in our blue and grey uniforms, we get out of our Math and English classes to do it!

  If you have never heard of the Battle of Granite Falls (and there is really no reason that you would have) it was a two day engagement that began on Saturday October 17, 1863.

  The engagement began when Union forces under Col. Robert Wheeler intercepted Confederate forces under Col. Hampton Wade at the bridge over Deep Gap Creek. Outnumbered, the Yankee soldiers set fire to the bridge and returned to Granite Falls for artillery support.

  Meanwhile, the Confederate cavalry made a surprise crossing five miles west and captured an unrelated Union Army Supply Train, carrying the sum total of all the Medicinal Alcohol ordered by Union quartermasters for the winter of 1863.

  As night fell, Col. Wheeler’s Yankee artillery launched an extended bombardment, pounding what they believed was the Confederate position. However, the rebels had pulled back out of range and spent the evening destroying the captured union alcohol, one stiff drink at a time.

  When dawn broke on Sunday morning, Wheeler observed bodies covering the Confederate camp ground like leaves following an October windstorm. The elated Union Forces returned to Granite Falls to stage a tremendous victory celebration and parade.

  As the day wore on, the Confederate soldiers gradually sobered up and returned to life. Colonel Wade, sporting a terrible hangover, ordered his troops to form up and march southward (as quietly as possible).

  Ultimately, no one was killed in the Battle of Granite Falls. And, both sides celebrated wildly, returning home as victors. So, every year re-enactors return to Granite Falls to reenact this indecisive but enjoyable Civil War engagement.

  **********

  The Rangers always compete on the same team – even in war. We feel that since we are all members of the same club it would not be right for us to fight against each other. So every year we alternate between wearing the blue and the gray. Last year we all served with the Confederacy and this year we were all fighting to preserve the Union. As re-enactors, we show no favoritism to either cause. But, as Rangers, we are always loyal to each other.

  On Thursday afternoon before the start of the big three day Battle weekend, we requested our assignments for the upcoming engagement and most of us got what we applied for. Bogdon was chosen as a surgeon’s assistant, using authentic Civil War techniques to treat the sprains and cuts in this non lethal re-enaction. Thor was an ammunition bearer, running up and down the lines of riflemen handing out shot and powder. Shad and Freddie, who have a year and half of middle school band, were chosen to serve in the drum and bugle corp. And, since Charlie’s Father and Grandfather were serving as Confederate cavalry they brought an extra horse for Charlie, who was portraying a Union horseback messenger. Unfortunately, Toby and I were assigned to serve as crew members for the Union artillery forces.

  I guess most people would think that playing with the cannons would be a great job for two middle school boys. But the truth is if you are kid in the artillery, you don’t get to do anything fun. You don’t get to load the cannon. You don’t get to aim the cannon. And, you certainly don’t get shoot the cannon! The commander of the reenactment artillery is Major Oliver Tolley is so afraid one of us kids is going to get hurt, that we are forced to take our position 10 paces rear, whenever the cannon are fired.

  You may know Major Tolley better as Ollie Tolley of Tolley’s Tree Service. But, the thing you probably did not know is that Ollie Tolley gets to be the artillery Major simply because he owns that tree service. Or, more specifically, Ollie Tolley owns a really nice hydraulic crane on the back of a truck that he uses in his tree service. When you are working with the civil war cannon it sure is nice to have a crane to lift the cannon on and off of the trailers and to occasionally lift the cannon barrels from the gun carriages if you need to repair something. So, because Mr. Tol
ley owns a crane he gets to be the Major. And, at 10 paces rear, we kids get to be spectators in itchy blue wool coats.

  Anyway, it was lunchtime on Friday and we had been practicing our battle maneuvers all morning. It was a beautiful Indian summer day and much too warm to be wearing wool. We were hot and hungry, so the whole club settled into a nice shady spot on a stacked stone wall under a thick set of longleaf pines. And after all that marching and maneuvering, we were ready to eat the leather souls right off our civil war shoes. But, luckily something much better was coming down the path. A mule cart / mobile field kitchen was approaching our position, bringing a lunch that prepared by the ladies auxiliary of the First Apple Church of Granite Falls.

  Actually the First Apple is short for the First Apostolic Church of the Chosen and Redeemed. The Apple is the oldest and most respected Black church in the entire County. And, as long as I can remember, Miss Hattie May had been the President of the Ladies Auxiliary of the First Apple, a group of women that cooks food so good that is probably the real reason why re-enactors come back to Granite Falls year after year.

  “What’s for Lunch, Miss Hattie?” Charlie called out to the approaching wagon.

  Miss Hattie was driving the team wearing a dark blue period dress with a red and white gingham shawl. She is a slender lady with large hands and nimble fingers. I have no idea how old she is. She has not seemed to age as long as I have known her. She has the same short grey hair, the same wrinkled brow and that same overwhelming friendly smile. She called out to us as she pulled back on the reigns, halting the team.

  “Woo wee, you boys are lucky today. We have pan-fried chicken and biscuits. There’s country ham and green beans. Of course, we have sweet potato pie and pecan cookies. Plus, there’s fruit for quick energy and plenty of fresh sweet tea and ice cold lemonade to wash it down.”

  We hurried over to the wagon and it sure didn’t take us long to load up our splatter ware tin plates with enough hearty rations to fill up even a growing boy’s hollow leg.

  “You children are going to blow away if you don’t eat no more than that,” Miss Hattie observed. And then she threw an extra biscuit or chicken leg on top of every plate she could reach.

  We presented Miss Hattie with our prepaid meal tickets and the mule cart ladies got back on their wagon to move over to the next hungry group.

  “I declare Miss Hattie; your food gets better every year,” Charlie called out as he dug into a chicken leg.

  “Well, Mr. Charlie”, the sweet old woman replied, “The Apple folks have been havin’ some hard times this last year. There are folks out of work or took sick with one thing or another. But, praise God above, we can still cook and we are trustin’ in the Lord’s plan. So, you boys enjoy your lunch. We have plenty more souls to feed.”

  I sat on that shaded stone wall devouring a drumstick that tasted like it had just been sent down from heaven and I watched the Apple ladies roll off in their creaky old wagon. And, I understood why so many men and boys had volunteered to wear the Union blue 150 years earlier.

  *************

  It did not take us long to work our way through the meal – at least to the point where we were ready for some fun with our food. Shad finished crunching his way through a nice sized red delicious apple. And, now he cocked his arm back ready to launch what was left.

  “Baltimore,” said Shad.

  “Apple core,” cackled Freddie.

  “Who’s your friend?” Shad questioned.

  Freddie looked around for a minute, then pointed out a victim, “Charlie!”

  With his target identified, Shad launched the apple core as hard as he could. The missile connected with Charlie right above the blue wool shirt pocket and apple shrapnel exploded all over his uniform.

  Charlie lurched, managing to keep a firm grip on his lunch plate but as he jumped backwards, he collided with a full cup of lemonade, and the cold sweet liquid poured out of the container and down into the open top of his leather dispatch case.

  “You Spazz!” shouted an annoyed Charlie Sinclair, as he scrambled to put down his lunch plate and right the overturned cup. “You guys are so gay!”

  Now, normally Charlie would have retaliated with a frog to the arm or one of his patented Indian burns. But, in this situation was too busy trying to save his Civil War paperwork.

  “There’s some important stuff in here,” he explained as he picked up the dispatch case and turned it upside down, attempting to shake out the pink lemonade that had flooded the case. “Mr. Burns gave me a genuine original Civil War dispatch to carry so I could be more authentic. And you weenies got it all wet. Mr. Burns is gonna have a cow!”

  Realizing that maybe our fun had gotten out of hand, we all jumped down to help Charlie salvage his papers. As he slid them out of the case piece by piece and we separated them and laid them out on the stone wall to dry. We weighted them down with a couple of pebbles to keep them from blowing away.

  “Was it Ottway or Hamish that gave you these papers?” I asked.

  “It was Ottway,” Charlie replied, arranging the case upside down on the wall so the last of the lemonade could tickle out. “Ottway is leading the Union this year. Hamish is commanding the Rebels.”

  The brothers Otway and Hamish Burns are generally recognized as experts in the 1863 Battle of Granite Falls. But, instead of their love for the engagement bringing them together, these annual reenactments have driven the brothers apart for as long as anyone can remember. You see, the Burns brothers suffer from the worst kind of sibling rivalry and will not under any circumstances take orders from each other. So, each year one Burns commands the Confederate re-enactors while the Union forces are lead by the other Burns. Reenacting divides the Burns family in much the same way that the original War set brother against brother. And, of course both brothers are constantly attempting to outshine each other when it comes to historical authenticity and realism. It was not surprising that one of them provided Charlie with actual Civil War documents to carry.

  “Hey Charlie, what is this?” Bogdon asked as he attempted to dry one of the dispatch papers with a napkin. “There’s something written on the back of this dispatch.”

  Bog held up the paper, and sure enough there was an odd message inscribed on the back of the document. Where the lemonade soaked through the document, the writing was visible. But, it seemed to disappear when it reached a patch where the paper was still dry.

  “I think this is invisible ink,” Bog observed holding the document up in the air and studying how the sun’s rays shown through the antique paper. “The acid in the lemon juice is making it appear.”

  “Well gosh”, said Toby. “Splash the rest of the document down with lemonade and let’s see what it says. Maybe it’s important.”

  As you could imagine, Charlie was dead set against us deliberately rewetting the dispatch with more lemonade. But, a couple of us held him down and Shad sat on his back, while Bogdon removed a piece of cotton bandage from his medical pack and dipped it in some of the pink liquid. Slowly Bogdon wiped the rest of the paper down with the drink and he read the results aloud to the gathering.

  “To the Honorable A. R. Lawton, Quartermaster-General of the Confederate States of America.

  Dear Sir,

  I have attempted without success to slip through the Yankee lines and deliver the remaining gold from the Charlotte Mint to blockade runners in Albemarle Sound. However, with two broken wagon wheels and the enemy close at our heels, we have been forced to hide the gold in the First Baptist Church of Granite Falls. Our hope is to return and retrieve the treasure at some future point. In the meantime, we will march north to rendezvous with General Pickett’s Division and join him in the upcoming attack into Pennsylvania.

  As always,

  Your Humble Servant

  Major Ashley Booth, CSA

  May 22nd, 1863. “

  Even as Bogdon repeated the message, the sun and a g
entle breeze were drying out the dispatch. Within seconds the ink disappeared again, leaving only a blank paper and an astonished look on our faces. We stared into each other’s blank expressions for a second, before there was an outburst.

  “Gold!” Freddie yelped, hopping down from his perch on the old stone wall. “Confederate gold in Granite Falls! Let’s go find it right now. I always wanted to be a zillionaire and this could be our big chance.”

  “Hold your horses Freddie,” cautioned Thor, always the voice of reason. “I’m sure the soldiers came back and got it 150 years ago. That gold is probably long gone by now.”

  “I wouldn’t be so confident,” corrected Toby. “If the Confederates caught up with General Pickett, they may have participated in his disastrous charge a month later at Gettysburg. They may not have lived to return to Granite Falls.”

  “Is that true, Shad?” asked the anxious Freddie. “What’s the scoop on Picket’s Charge?”

  Our big friend Shad thought for a minute before replying. Then, with his perfect recall, he started replaying some Civil War documentary.

  “Pickett's Charge was a disastrous infantry assault ordered by General Robert E. Lee against General George Meade’s Union positions upon Cemetery Ridge, on July 3, 1863. It was the bloodiest single military attack in American history. It cut down the flower of the Confederacy's officer corps in the most important theatre of battle in the War.”

  “Lee feared a Union counteroffensive and tried to strengthen his center. When Lee told Pickett to rally his division for the defense, Pickett allegedly replied, ‘General Lee, I have no division.’"

  Toby spoke up, “So, if Major Booth did fight with Pickett, he probably never made it back to Granite Falls for the gold.”

  “Yeah, but somebody is bound to have survived,” Thor observed.

  “Maybe so,” Toby agreed. “But think about it. You would not have told everyone in your command where the gold was stashed. It would only take a couple of men to bury it. Of course, when this document was delivered to the Quartermaster General his men would have retrieved the gold. So, it’s unlikely that there would be any treasure left.”