by Piper Rayne
“Why are you here, Melody?”
“I miss you.”
“You…what?”
“When I saw you the other day…I tried to pretend I haven’t been bothered by not having you in my life, but I miss you.”
I drew in a breath. “I’m sorry, Melody. I’m so sorry. I never should have…I’m sorry about everything. I never should have kissed Ramsey and I never should have twisted things or—”
“It’s not all on you. Things weren’t right with Ramsey after Steven. And I turned to you, not him. I didn’t know how to talk to him.”
“I didn’t help anything. I’ll never be able to forgive myself for what I did to you guys. I never should have tried to get between the two of you. I…I have no excuse.”
“I need to know something,” Melody said.
“What?”
“Are you still in love with Ramsey?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think I ever was. I said I was, but Ramsey was safe. I couldn’t get hurt if I loved him because he was yours. At first, I wanted what you had and convinced myself I could only have it with Ramsey, but once you two got married, he was safe. Boys were never interested in me, and men weren’t any better. I was the fat girl, the one who was overlooked. Ramsey saw me, so I latched on to him. But I don’t think I ever really loved him. Not the way you did.”
Melody was quiet for a minute, letting my words sink in. I hoped she knew I was being honest, and that I really was sorry for what I did.
“What happened with Rowan?”
I shrugged and shook my head. “I messed everything up. I saw him with you at Cracked and…”
“Nothing happened between us,” Melody said.
“I know. But everyone tells him to stay away from me. To not get involved or to end things or whatever. I figured you were doing the same thing. I just…I tried not to care when the rest of them did it, but when I thought you were telling him I wasn’t worth it, I couldn’t handle it.”
“I wasn’t doing that, Willow. I was asking him if you were doing okay. Ramsey mentioned you two were seeing each other, but I didn’t realize how serious it was until he showed up at lunch. I’ve missed so much of your life. I don’t want to miss more.”
I inhaled a shaky breath. “I don’t want to miss more either, but I know you don’t trust me.”
Melody shrugged. “I think I trust you more when you’re involved with a guy like Rowan. He really likes you. I think you should patch things up with him.”
I smiled. “I don’t think that’s possible. I told him to go back to Phoenix. He’s not going to want to see me again.”
“Something tells me you’re wrong about that. I think you should try. For me.”
I rolled my eyes and smiled. Whenever we wanted to convince each other to do something growing up, we would always say it was a favor. I could never deny my sister. Even when I really wanted to hide from Rowan forever.
15
The hard part about finding someone when you didn’t know where they lived was you had no idea where to look. Melody didn’t have his address, and I wasn’t willing to ask James or anyone else. The fewer people who knew about my pending humiliation the better.
Melody wanted to come with me to find him, but she’d already missed enough time with her family for me. And again, I didn’t want witnesses.
I went to O’Kelley’s first, but he wasn’t there. I stopped by Cracked and came up empty again. I wandered around town a little, hoping I might run into him, but by midday, I admitted I needed a plan instead of just to wander.
I grabbed lunch from Just Tacos and sat alone in a booth trying to come up with a good idea. Saturdays meant half the town was at Jones Family Maple Farm when the weather was good, but during the winter, it was quiet. Still, I didn’t have any better ideas.
The parking area around the gift shop was quiet, but there were a few cars. And at the end of the line, one motorcycle. My heart jumped and started to pound when I saw it. He was there.
I turned off my car and took a few deep breaths. I stared at myself in the rearview mirror and tried to give myself a pep talk, but I was all out of encouraging words. Melody forgave me, but she was my sister. We had a lifetime of history. Rowan…he didn’t owe me anything. I loved him, but I threw him away at the first sign of betrayal. Betrayal that never even happened and wasn’t his fault.
I closed my eyes. He deserved better than me. I needed to leave before he saw me because I wasn’t good enough for him.
A knock on my window startled me. My eyes snapped open and lifted to the person standing next to me. “Shit.”
“Open the door, Willow,” Rowan said.
“I was just leaving,” I replied.
“Bullshit. Open the door.”
I should have just started the car and peeled out, but I couldn’t. I needed one last look at him. One last minute near him. Then I would let him go.
I opened the door a crack, barely wide enough that the cold air rushed into my car and started to chill me.
“Get out.”
I sighed again and did as he asked. I closed the door behind me and leaned against my car.
“What are you doing here?”
I glanced around and shrugged. “I come here all the time for syrup.”
“Bullshit. Again. Why are you here?”
“I was just out for a drive?”
“One more chance,” he said sternly.
“Fine,” I huffed. “I was looking for you, but I’m leaving now. I shouldn’t have come here.”
I turned to open the door, but he slapped a hand on it and held it closed. I turned back to him and glared.
“Just let me go, Rowan.”
“Why were you looking for me?” he asked.
I drew in a deep breath and stared up at the only man I’d ever really loved. When I was searching town, it was so easy to imagine what I would say to him. To think about all the words that would flow easily from my lips to tell him how sorry I was. But standing in front of him, I was paralyzed. I was terrified.
All my life, I’d lived in the shadows. I didn’t date because it was easier not to get attached to anyone. I didn’t have close friends for the same reason. The only person who ever mattered to me was Melody. Our parents were…we weren’t close to them, but we had each other. And she was the only person I needed, so I didn’t bother to try to find anyone else to share my life with.
But that meant I never learned how to apologize to people. I never learned how to tell someone I screwed up. With Melody, I could always say I messed up and I was sorry, and she would forgive me. But anyone else…I never cared enough to try to repair any other relationship. Even saying sorry to Melody this time was harder because it wasn’t a little thing that I had to apologize for. It was huge. Just like apologizing to Rowan was huge.
“I’m sorry I was such a bitch to you. I never should have pushed you away or gotten so upset that you had breakfast with Melody. And I shouldn’t have told you to go back to Phoenix. It was mean and I was rude and I wanted you to know I’m sorry.”
I made another move to leave, but his hand was still on my door, stopping me from going anywhere.
“Why?” he asked.
“Why what?”
“Why are you sorry?”
“Um, what?”
“Are you sorry because you know what you said was wrong or because you think you hurt me or because you think you should apologize or something else?”
“All of it. Sure, I guess. I was mean. I shouldn’t have been so mean to you.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you, okay? Is that what you wanted me to say? Because I love you. Because I was scared that you were finally going to listen to someone who said to stay away from me because it was my sister. Because of all the people who told you I wasn’t worth it, she’s the one who knows the best that I’m a pain in the ass and can’t be trusted or whatever.”
“She never said I should stay away from you.”
“Yeah, I know.”
His brows went up, and his dark eyes scanned my face. “How do you know?”
“She came to see me this morning. She…I apologized to her for everything.”
“Really? Is it apology Saturday and no one told me?”
I rolled my eyes at him and pressed my lips together. It was getting hard for me to keep my emotions in check. I told him I loved him and he barely acknowledged it. Not that I blamed him, but it hurt. I put myself out there, and he was rejecting me.
“Yeah, well, I just wanted you to know I’m sorry. I’ll go now. Enjoy the rest of your day.”
I turned back to my car, but his hand didn’t move.
“You need to remove your hand from the door so I can go,” I said softly. The tears were getting closer, choking my throat and making it harder for me to speak.
“No.”
“Please, Rowan.”
“I haven’t accepted your apology yet. Don’t you want to know if I forgive you?”
I shook my head. “You don’t have to forgive me. I understand if you don’t want to. I don’t deserve it. I was cruel and heartless and you should have better than that.”
“What if I happened to love cruel and heartless?”
I scoffed. “No one loves cruel and heartless.”
He leaned closer to me. “I do, Willow.”
The meaning of his words filtered through my mushy brain and sank in. Was he? No. But…was he?
My chest rose as hope tried to fill me. I pushed it back out, not willing to believe that much. He knew the horrible things I’d done. He knew who I was. I treated him like shit. There was no way he loved me.
“Look at me, Willow.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and took a breath. I let it out slowly and turned to face him, lifting my gaze to his.
He didn’t give me time to say anything before he pressed his body against mine and sealed our lips together. He licked his way into my mouth, and groaned when my hands slid up his chest.
His hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me tightly to him. I sank into him, enjoying the feel of him against me. His tongue teased mine as his fingers found their way under my coat to my skin.
When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against mine. His eyes stayed closed. “Don’t shut me out, Willow. If this is going to work, you need to trust me. And I need to trust you. I can’t handle you not listening to me or thinking you know what happened.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. For so many things. I haven’t ever had a real relationship. I’ve had guys I sleep with on occasion, but I’ve never gotten close to anyone.”
“Me neither. I never wanted to get close to anyone. Being a cop make it hard. I loved the rush of the job and the fast pace. But everything is different here. It’s slower and I guess I needed that. But I also needed you.”
“You needed me?” I blurted.
He brushed my hair behind my ear and nodded. “I did. I still do. When I got here, I hated the idea of being banished to a place like this. The job was boring. For someone who’s only ever had work, I was miserable. But when I met you, life got more interesting. You were the spark I was missing. I loved seeing it in your eyes and feeling it whenever you kissed me. I never thought I’d find that in another person.”
“You didn’t?”
He shook his head. “No, Willow, I didn’t. But you’re different. You’re special. And you’re mine.”
I scoffed and pulled away from him. “I don’t belong to anyone.”
He smirked at me. “That’s what I’m talking about right there. I love that. And I love you.”
“You do?”
He grinned and kissed my throat. “I do love you. And because I love you, I wasn’t ready to give up on us yet. I was pissed at you, but I knew you’d come around. I did not expect Melody to be the one who made you see the light, but I’m happy you two made up. I’m a little surprised you’re upright today.”
“The cold is helping my headache.”
He chuckled. “It sounded like you had quite the night.”
“You knew about that?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Do you really think anything is going to happen in MacKellar Cove without the entire town finding out about it?”
“I can think of a few things the entire town doesn’t know about. Like that thing you do with your tongue. Or the thing you do with your fingers. Or the thing you do with your cock.”
I knew better than to provoke him, but it was far too easy to get a rise out of him.
He leaned against me, trapping me between the door and his body. I looked up at him, daring him.
“You like to fight dirty, don’t you?”
I grinned. “That’s not the only thing I like to do dirty.”
He pressed his body to mine and paused a breath away from my lips. “You might kill me.”
I smiled. “It’ll be worth it.”
“Hell, yes, it will be.”
Rowan followed me back to my place and shared a few more things with me that the entire town didn’t know. Like how much he loved me and wanted to stay.
I was teaching a yoga class that afternoon and he insisted on joining me for it, even though I told him he didn’t have to.
“Do you really think I’m going to miss out on seeing you or having you touch me to make sure I’m in the right position?”
“I’ll have to do the same for all the students. You know that, right?”
“As long as they’re all female,” he growled.
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s my job to make sure people are safe and getting the most benefit out of the class.”
“Then I better come to all your classes so none of the men get any ideas.”
“Like you do?” I asked him.
He glared at me then stalked across the room toward me. I squealed and ran away, but Rowan chased me until he caught me. He picked me up and started carrying me to the bedroom.
“We need to go!” I argued.
“You can be late.”
“No, I can’t. I like this job. And if I’m going to keep it, I need to show up on time.”
He growled again and set me down. “After class, you’re all mine.”
“I’m all yours all the time.”
He leaned in and kissed my neck. “I like the sound of that.”
Class was uneventful until afterward when Sylvia asked to speak to me.
“The students really respond to you,” she said.
“Thank you. I’m enjoying teaching.”
“Good. You’re a natural. I really hope you decide to stick around.”
I smiled. “I have. I would love to accept your offer if you’re still up for it.”
“Really? That’s great news. I’m so happy to hear you say that. I love doing this, but I like having other people around. I think we work well together.”
“I agree.”
“We can talk about all the details later. Right now, I think someone is waiting for you.” Sylvia smiled at Rowan. “Hello, Officer.”
“Hi, Sylvia. How are you?”
“Very well. Thank you for whatever you did to make her decide to stay.”
He blushed and grinned. “You’re welcome.”
We waited for Sylvia to lock up the studio and all left together. Rowan and I went back to my apartment, where he asked me to demonstrate a few of the yoga poses I used in class.
After another shower, he said, “We need to go out tonight. Celebrate your new job.”
“Or we could just stay in.”
“Or we could see if Melody and Ramsey want to get together.”
I tensed. “It might be too soon for that.”
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and showed me the screen. “She’s been texting me all day, begging me to let her know everything. She’s already invited us over.”
I couldn’t help but grin. I never thought I’d repair my relationship with my sister, but to also get a great guy? I had to be dreaming.
&nb
sp; “We don’t have to,” I told him.
He shook his head. “Don’t start to freak out on me again. All of this is good.”
I took a breath and nodded. It was good. Life was good. It had been a while since I’d felt that way, but it was true. Life was good. And it was all thanks to Rowan.
Epilogue
Laura
I sprinkled powdered sugar over the top of the raspberry frosting and grinned. The cake looked perfect. And the crumbs that fell off into my mouth were delicious. My mouth was already watering.
I snapped the cover in place over the top and pulled on my coat. With the cake in hand, I headed over to Book Boyfriends Unlimited for girls’ night.
The sky was dark, but a hint of light lingered over the water. Everything was calm and peaceful and perfect. I still couldn’t believe I lived here sometimes.
Finley let me into the store and reached for the cake while I took off my coat. “How is it? Did you try it?”
I shook my head. “I ate a few crumbs, and tasted the frosting, but I haven’t eaten a piece yet. It smells amazing.” The recipe was one she helped me find. The last book we read for book club had a baker as the hero and the things he did with frosting made us all want to run out and find a baker of our own.
“Well, without a sexy man to rub frosting all over me and lick it off, I don’t think it’ll compare to the book, but it’ll be a close second,” Finley said with a grin.
I laughed. “True.” I followed her to the back where Blake and Karissa were sitting. I said hi to them and they asked what I made.
“She made the cake from the book,” Finley told them. Someone knocked and took her back to the front.
“No, you didn’t,” Karissa gasped. “Oh, man. Now I’m going to wish I’d accepted one of those dates.”
“You had dates and didn’t accept?” Blake asked.
Karissa sighed. “I have a really hard time not looking up these guys. And when I do, they’re never as good as they seem before I know who they are. One was my dentist.”
“Dr. Percy is on Book Boyfriends Wanted?” I asked her with a laugh.
Karissa rolled her eyes. “Yep. And I was matched with him.”
