by Piper Rayne
Suddenly, instead of looking like she wanted to wring his neck, her eyes slid down to his mouth. And then, kissing her was all Nate could think of. Did she still taste the same as always? Did her lips still feel the same?
Nate glanced down at her lips, too. They were slightly parted and her chest was rising and falling faster as her breathing changed.
“Dammit, Nate,” she breathed.
He wasn’t sure which one of them closed the distance between them. But suddenly, their bodies were pressed up against each other. Her lips mashed against Nate’s and she tasted just like she always had. This time, with undertones of alcohol. But it was every bit Jenna, the girl Nate had given his all to, once upon a time.
His hand slid down her back onto her ass and he kneaded her cheeks. She pressed herself against him. Her breasts were perfect against his chest and arms snaked around his neck. When Nate’s tongue slipped into her mouth, she moaned, and the sound was like music to his ears, the reminder of something long forgotten. There had been a time that moan had been the soundtrack of their most intimate moments.
The kissing became urgent, fast. They groped at each other, his hands on her breasts, squeezing. Her kiss was insistent, and he couldn’t get enough of it. He felt like he had been wandering in the desert for years without a drop of water, and finally he was able to gulp her down again.
And, at the same time, he’d been drowning without her, and finally he could breathe.
Nate’s dick was hard in his pants and he ground himself against her, letting her feel how much he wanted her. She moaned again. Nate was completely vulnerable. That sound, her body against his, was his weakness. He wasn’t going to be able to hold back.
He didn’t want to.
Nate spun her around and pushed her up against the wall next to the bar. He wanted to get her out of her clothes, and then onto the bar. And then he wanted to fuck her. Hard.
His hand slipped into her blouse and he cupped her breast, pulling the bra down so that he could feel her skin. Her nipple was hard, and Nate rolled it between his fingers, tugging lightly at it. She whimpered into his mouth.
Her hand reached down. She unbuckled his belt and pushed her hand into his jeans, wrapping her fingers around his cock. Nate hissed when she touched him, his dick jerking. She had always known exactly how to touch him.
God, he wanted her so fucking badly. He wanted every inch of her. He wanted to make her his again, to claim her like he had so many times before.
Nate didn’t know what this was, this feeling so fierce and primal. He’d thought that he had gotten rid of all these feelings. But now, it was all the way it had been back then. He hadn’t felt like this around any of the other girls he’d been with since Jenna.
And there had been so many.
Nate drew his attention back to her, to the way her breath came in ragged gasps, the way she tugged at his clothes with her one hand, as if she wanted to get rid of it all.
She could undress him. No one would bother them here.
Nate wanted to fuck her on the bar, and then he wanted to lay her on a blanket behind it and make love to her. With his body, he wanted to tell her everything he had thought he’d forgotten.
“Oh my God,” Jenna said, breaking the kiss. “What the hell are we doing?”
Nate chuckled. “I can give you an idea, if you want. I was pretty sure you knew what happens after this.”
Jenna shook her head and pushed him away. She fixed her bra and her blouse.
“What’s wrong?” Nate asked.
“We can’t do this,” she said. “This is a mistake.”
Just like that, she slammed the door in his face. Just like that, he wasn’t good enough anymore. Again. Fuck.
“Are you kidding me?” Nate asked. His belt was still undone. His cock was still throbbing in his pants. “You do this to me and then you’re leaving me hanging?”
Jenna shook her head. “I shouldn’t have come.”
She walked to the door, her arms folded over her chest like she was trying to hold herself together.
“Yeah, you’re damn right you shouldn’t have come,” Nate called after her, but the door had already swung shut.
And he was left in the wake of her destruction. What the hell? What the fucking hell? How could she do this to him?
But no, this wasn’t her fault. It was his. He had let himself feel things that he shouldn’t have. Just because it was Jenna didn’t mean he could let down his guard. In fact, because it was Jenna, he had to push it up higher. They had both been drinking. And she was still the woman that was damn good at walking away.
Evidently.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Nate had been a fool to let her in at all. Back then, and again, now. This was the easiest way to ruin him.
He pressed his hand against his head. Maybe if he went home and sobered up, he could pretend this had never happened. He knew sure as shit that was what she was going to do.
Best they all played the same game.
7
Jenna
Jenna woke up the next morning, disoriented, unsure about where she was. Everything looked familiar, but it felt wrong.
The realization of where she was hit her about the same time a huge headache did. She sat up and groaned.
Oh yes, that was right. She had gone out drinking with Naomi last night. She’d drank far too much.
And…oh God. She’d gone back to the restaurant and made a complete fool of herself.
She collapsed back on the pillow and groaned, squeezing her eyes shut and covering her face. She should never have gone back to talk to Nate. She had insisted on speaking her mind, but all that had happened was…and then it hadn’t happened at all.
Jenna wasn’t sure which part she regretted more.
It happening at all, of course, she told herself. She couldn’t regret that they hadn’t slept together. It wasn’t right. She didn’t feel anything for him anymore.
She ignored the fact that butterflies had erupted in her belly when he had kissed her. She ignored the fact that she had wanted him just about as much as he had clearly wanted her.
But she had been sober enough to think straight, at least. And to stop anything from happening.
It would have made everything complicated. Jenna wasn’t back. She wasn’t planning on staying long. She couldn’t reopen old wounds.
When Jenna came out of her bedroom, she tiptoed to the bathroom so she wouldn’t wake her mom. After brushing her teeth and flushing the toilet, she crept out of the bathroom again. But she heard Carol in the kitchen and gave up trying to be quiet. She padded on bare feet to the kitchen.
“Morning,” Carol said. She was trying to sound bright, but her voice cracked at the end of her sentence. “How did you sleep?” The recovery had been almost seamless, but Jenna hadn’t missed it.
“I slept okay, thanks. How are you feeling?”
“Perfectly fine,” Carol said. But she had circles beneath her eyes and she looked pale. And she seemed out of breath, even though she was only making breakfast.
“Mama?” Jenna asked. “Are you sure? You’re winded.”
Carol shook her head. “I’m perfectly fine,” she said again, but, as she did, her knees buckled. Jenna lunged forward and grabbed her. Carol wouldn’t have gone down, as she managed to catch herself, but Jenna had seen that, and that was definitely not fine.
“Come,” she said. “We are going to see Doctor Harris.”
“Oh, no,” Carol complained. “He’s just going to take away more good stuff to eat and tell me that I need to drink more pills and sleep more. How much can a woman sleep? It’s outrageous.”
“Rather safe than sorry,” Jenna said. “Maybe it’s nothing, and then we can come right home. Or we can go out to breakfast, my treat.”
Carol grumbled. “Okay, fine. But just because you’re offering breakfast.”
Jenna waited for Carol to get dressed, just in case something went wrong before she went to her room and cha
nged into clothes, too. She loaded her into the rental and they drove to the doctor’s offices.
Doctor Harris was willing to see them immediately and Jenna was glad, but the fact that he was willing to make a space for Carol was a bad sign. It meant that things were even worse than Jenna had thought they were.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” he said gently, looking at Carol.
“You better ask her. She’s the one that insists I’m not well. I feel fine.”
Jenna glanced at her mom before she explained to Doctor Harris what had happened. He nodded and took Carol to an examination room, taking her blood pressure, doing a couple of tests.
When he came back, he smiled at Jenna. “Can we talk alone?” he asked.
She nodded. “Be right back, Mama,” I said.
Doctor Harris and Jenna stepped into an empty office and he closed the door.
“I am not going to pretend that this isn’t serious,” he said. “Her system is completely run down. She is not resting. The heart attack didn’t do enough damage to kill her, but her heart isn’t as it should be. And everything else is working overtime to make up for it. She needs to rest more. She needs to do less. And she has to stop drinking caffeine.”
“She’s only drinking decaf,” Jenna said.
Doctor Harris shook his head. “I don’t think that’s the case, not when you’re not around. Just watch her. And please, make her sit down.”
Jenna nodded. “I’ll see what I can do,” she said.
“It would be better if there was someone who could watch her twenty-four seven,” Doctor Harris said. “Or if she starts using one of our facilities.”
“You mean the retirement home?”
Doctor Harris nodded. “It is more an assisted living place. We have a few elderly people using them and there are no complaints. It’s really very comfortable, and we have the medical team on standby at all times.”
Jenna nodded again. She’d looked into the retirement village that had been built a short distance from Smithville. She’d thought it was a great place to go. But Carol refused.
“I’m not even fifty-five,” she always complained. “I don’t belong in the retirement village.”
Jenna couldn’t argue with her, but her heart attack had made her body act like it was a lot older than she really was.
“I’ll see if I can convince her,” Jenna said.
“That would be great,” Doctor Harris said. “In the meantime, don’t hesitate to come to me whenever you need to. Even at night. I will always clear my schedule for her.”
Jenna thanked him, grateful that there was a doctor in such a small place who was willing to help. Technically, there shouldn’t have been a doctor at all. Not at all times like he was.
When Jenna walked back to the waiting room where Carol was sitting, she was scowling.
“You can’t make me go to that place,” she said.
“I am not trying to,” Jenna said. “I was going to ask what you want for breakfast.”
Her face lit up. “An omelet would be great.”
Together, they left the doctors’ offices and headed to a small café that was open early enough for breakfast. While Carol ordered, Jenna took out her phone. She had a missed call from Sabrina.
“I’m just quickly going to make a call,” she said and stepped away from the table while Carol argued with the waitress about the menu.
“How are things?” Jenna asked when Sabrina answered.
“Chaotic,” she said. “But I’m managing. Sort of.”
“I’m glad.”
“What about you?”
“I’m managing, sort of,” Jenna said, feeding her own words back to her.
Sabrina chuckled. “Good luck.”
“You, too,” Jenna said, and they ended the call.
God, she wanted to go back to New York. She wanted to go back to the office where she knew how everything worked and she knew what she did. Here, Jenna felt like she didn’t have control of anything. Carol was even sicker than she had thought, and she was being stubborn about it. And Nate…Jenna should never have gotten involved with him again. She should have left things the way they were. But those eyes and those lips…she hadn’t been able to resist him.
Jenna walked back to the table and sat down.
“They’re saying they won’t do an omelet with only egg whites,” Carol said. “Doesn’t that sound ridiculous? They should keep up with the times, everyone does egg whites now. I read it online.”
“This is Smithville, Mama. I doubt they’re going to keep up with the times.”
In fact, it was one of the reasons why Jenna had left. “I’m sure it will be okay if you have whole eggs. Otherwise, let’s have something else. Pancakes?”
Carol pulled up her nose. “I can make pancakes at home.”
“You can make omelets at home, too,” Jenna pointed out.
Carol snorted. She lifted her hand into the air.
“What are you doing?” Jenna asked.
“Changing my order,” she said.
The waitress came back, trying not to roll her eyes. Jenna mouthed “I’m sorry” to her before she arrived.
“Cancel my order,” Carol said. “And bring me cake.”
“Mama, cake for breakfast?” Jenna asked.
Carol narrowed her eyes at Jenna. “Are you telling me what to do?” she asked. Jenna sighed and shook her head. “No, I’m not. I just want you to look after yourself.”
“Well, you took me to the doctor and there was nothing wrong. So I’m going to enjoy myself while you’re paying.” She winked at Jenna. “Come, have cake with.”
Jenna gave up the fight. There was no use going against her anyway. And why not? One piece of cake for breakfast wasn’t going to kill either of them.
Carol and Jenna both ordered black forest cake and tea. When the waitress left, Carol giggled like a child.
“I just love bending the rules. Don’t you?”
Jenna looked at her mom, sadly. There was something juvenile about her, but Jenna was starting to worry that it might border on senility. She never used to be like this when Jenna was growing up. She had always been so responsible, so strict. The woman Jenna saw now was fun, for sure. But that meant something was wrong. Carol had never been like this before.
“So, how is everything back home?” Carol asked. “Are they coping without you?”
Jenna nodded.
“Good,” Carol said. “Then you can afford to stay awhile longer and spend time with me.”
Jenna started shaking her head. She needed to get out of here. She needed to get away from her past as soon as possible. Because if she stayed, who knew what she was going to do? She didn’t trust herself back in the small town, she didn’t trust herself so close to Nate. Just a couple of drinks and look at what she had done.
She couldn’t let this place drag her down again, trap her so that she never left.
“Mama, I’m not going to stay long,” Jenna said.
“Are you just going to rush back to the city and leave everything behind again?” Carol asked. “It won’t kill you to stay a little longer and remember who you are.”
Jenna took a deep breath and let it out slowly. There was no point arguing with her. Even though she was juvenile, childlike, she was still Jenna’s mother. She still had to respect her, and Jenna couldn’t argue with her when she saw things a certain way.
She would just have to make her own plans and stick to them. The way she had before. She had escaped this place in the past, she could do it again. And back then, no one had agreed with her leaving, either. She would just go ahead and do what she wanted as she always did.
The problem with that was that no matter how she planned it, if Jenna left, people got hurt. And she hated hurting people. She hated that taking care of herself meant that other people suffered from it. She wished that she could just make decisions without it affecting anyone else that she cared about.
Jenna tried not to think too hard about the fact
that Nate had popped into her mind the moment she’d thought about people she cared about.
But they had been together for a long time. Of course she still cared about him. Caring about someone was very different from loving them.
Carol had said that it wouldn’t kill Jenna to stay a little longer. The problem was that Jenna was scared that it might.
8
Nate
Even though Nate had worked until two in the morning before the last of the customers had left, and then he had counted up all the cash and cleaned up as much as possible, he didn’t sleep at all when he returned to his apartment.
His mind was reeling with thoughts of Jenna. Not just what had happened between them at the bar, but everything that had happened between them from the start.
Nate and Jenna had been happy. They had been together. For the longest time, too. Sure, they had been the cliché high-school-sweetheart couple. It had all been very storybook, the type of stuff you saw in movies and read about. But Nate had believed it was perfect. He had believed that even though everyone snorted at their young love, and some people told them that it wouldn’t last, he had believed that they would make it for the long haul. After all, he had loved Jenna.
And she had loved him.
At least, that was what he believed until the moment he realized she had skipped town without even telling him about it.
Nate knew that he should have been pissed. He knew that he should have held it against Jenna, that he should have thrown it back in her face when he saw her again. And he had been more than ready to do that when he finally saw her in his bar again.
But then she had come back to the restaurant, demanding to speak to him, sounding almost childlike in her drunken state, and, even though the conversation itself had been ridiculous, Nate had felt everything he had felt for her before. All the love, all the affection.
And when they had touched each other, when they had nearly taken it all the way, Nate had known that it didn’t matter how much time they had spent in the past, or how she had left, they still had it. They still had that same love that he had known and believed in from the start.
