by Piper Rayne
His competitor was a diner called Bella’s, and even though it wasn’t exactly the same as The Twisted Cow, it was good enough for what Nate needed.
He arrived at Bella’s a little early. He liked to be early for a date so that he was there first; he didn’t like being the one to make an entrance. He much preferred to watch everyone coming toward him.
Ten minutes later, Janet walked in. Nate lifted a hand and waved at her, and she smiled and walked to the booth he had picked out.
“Were you early, or am I late?” she asked, shuffling into the booth opposite Nate.
“I was early,” Nate said with a grin.
Janet nodded and smiled. “Great, because I hate being late, you know?”
She was already earning brownie points. A woman who worried about being on time was a good thing. So many women were late and didn’t really care.
Nate sat back in the booth and studied Janet for a moment. She was beautiful. Not exactly in the way Jenna was, not like she had stepped out of a magazine. But she took care of herself and she had a pleasant face. Her hair hung over her shoulders, slightly curly, a dark brown.
Not blonde, like Jenna. But it would have to do.
Nate was on a date again. Why not? If Jenna was going to be full of shit, there was no reason for Nate to stop dating around. He had been more than willing to give everything up for Jenna, the way he had once before. He was more than willing to stop sleeping around. But if she thought it was okay to screw with his feelings like that, Nate would invest them elsewhere, just as he had done before.
“So, tell me about yourself,” Janet said. It was a cliché line. Nate hated this part—the part where he didn’t know anything about someone and they didn’t know anything about him. It took so damn long to find a middle ground, to know enough about each other for the conversation to go somewhere that mattered.
But this was the game, wasn’t it? Besides, Nate wasn’t looking for anything serious, just a good conversation and a good fuck.
They talked for a while. Janet was from a different town. If you wanted to find a soulmate out here—hell, if you wanted to find someone you hadn’t grown up with—you needed to look a little further than just the town borders. There were a lot of small towns in the county, and everyone was willing to travel around a little. Nate explained what he did and Janet did, too. She worked at a bookstore.
What struck Nate the most was that, even though Janet was kind, funny at times, and the conversation flowed relatively well, the whole date felt empty.
Why? It hadn’t been like this before. But, of course, Nate had been pushing Jenna out of his mind before. Now, it was as if she were everywhere. After she had left, Nate hadn’t compared anyone to her. In fact, he had made a point of finding anyone who was the opposite of who Jenna was.
Now, he was very aware of the contrast, of how there wouldn’t be anyone quite like Jenna.
He was irritated with the fact that, this time, it bothered him. Somehow, since she had come back, Nate wanted more.
In fact, he wanted Jenna. No one else.
But that wasn’t going to happen, was it? She had made it quite clear that she wasn’t interested in going back to the past, in trying again. She wasn’t interested in anything other than going back to the city and continuing her life there, her life without Nate and all of the other people she had left behind.
Nate tried to draw his attention back to the conversation.
“Am I boring you?” Janet asked.
“What makes you think that?” Nate asked.
Janet pulled up her shoulders. “You just seem distracted.”
Nate rubbed his eyes. “It’s been a long weekend. You know, working late, all that jazz.”
Janet nodded. Janet, so close to Jenna, and yet far.
God, what was going on with him? Nate rubbed his face with one hand and focused on Janet. He tried to concentrate on what she was saying, tried to forget about Jenna completely. But no matter how hard he tried, it was as if she was everywhere.
“How long has it been?” Janet asked.
“What?” Nate asked.
“Since you spent the weekend without drinking,” Janet said as if Nate should have known what she was talking about. He probably should have. When she had asked how long, he had thought she meant since he had had sex. Or since he had dated, or something like that. Wasn’t it the kind of shit women always wanted to know?
“I don’t know,” Nate admitted. “It’s a part of the job, it’s impossible to stand behind a bar and not drink, too.”
“I don’t know if I agree with that,” Janet said.
Nate fought the urge to roll his eyes. Was she going to expect him to stop drinking if they were going to do something together? He wasn’t there to be changed by someone, to be groomed to be the perfect partner. He just wanted to have a good time.
Every now and then, new diners came into the restaurant. The bell above the door rang annoyingly, announcing every arrival. Whenever someone walked in, Nate glanced up at who it was. He knew most of the people who dined there and his mind wandered to his restaurant. Why weren’t they eating lunch at his place? Just because he wasn’t there didn’t mean it was closed. Greg was running the show, and his chef had his grill fired up and ready.
The door opened again, the bell jingled, and Janet rolled her eyes.
“Whose bright idea was the bell? The bookstore has one of those, but it’s a little different. I have to know if there are customers that need help.”
“I have no idea,” Nate said. His eyes followed the woman who had walked through the door. Because he knew her. Not in the way he knew everyone else.
What was Jenna doing in the diner?
“Hello?” Janet asked.
“Sorry,” Nate. “I just thought I saw…”
He was still looking at Jenna and she turned, her eyes locking with his. It only took a moment before she noticed Janet, her eyes flicking to the other woman, the shock registering on her face.
Interesting. Why did she have an emotional reaction at all? What did she care who he was having a meal with? It served her right. She needed to know that he wasn’t just going to wait around for her to decide what she wanted. She had told him he should go away, so she was going to live his life.
Jenna walked to the counter, and it was even harder to concentrate on what Janet was saying. She was talking about the store where she worked, her hours or something. Nate wasn’t really paying attention. His eyes were on Jenna as she ordered coffee.
Was she going to come over there and say something to him? Confront Janet? Nate almost wanted that. He wanted a reason to be upset with Jenna so that he could ignore all the other feelings that kept popping up when he saw her.
Instead of doing something that pissed him off, Jenna collected her coffee, paid for it, and left the diner again. She didn’t even sit at the counter to drink it—she had requested a takeaway cup.
And with her, as she walked through the door, Nate felt his heart leave, too.
What the hell was he doing? He didn’t want to sit here and talk to some random woman that he would end up getting into his bed for a night, maybe for a couple of nights in a row, before he cast it all off again. All he wanted was Jenna.
He had tried for a while to forget about her, but since he had kissed her again, that was practically impossible.
“You really don’t seem like you’re invested in this date,” Janet said.
Nate focused on her face. Her brows were pulled together, her lips pursed in a thin line.
“You’re right,” he said.
Her frown only intensified. “I am?”
Nate nodded. “This was a mistake. I thought I was ready to move on, but I don’t think I am. I am sorry I wasted your time.”
“Are you saying this date is over? Before you really got to know me?” Janet asked.
Nate pulled up his shoulders. He fished out the handful of coins to pay for the coffee he had ordered for them both. “I’m sorry.
Sometimes I realize what I want a little too late.”
“Which means that what you want isn’t me,” Janet said thoroughly.
“It’s not personal, darling,” Nate said. “I just should have come to this conclusion a long time ago. I’m sorry.”
He stood up out of the blue and left the diner, leaving Janet behind to make her own way home. He felt a little bad that he had gotten her to drive all the way to Smithville when he wasn’t even going to offer her a place to stay the night. That had been his initial intention. But he didn’t want to spend time with Janet.
Because she wasn’t Jenna. And Jenna was the person he wanted. Even if she didn’t want him. Even if she was so full of shit, she drove him crazy.
Even if she had ripped his heart out before.
Nate wasn’t just going to let this go. Walking away from a good thing without trying to make it happen was a sin. A crime, and Nate wasn’t about to let himself be punished for another six years. Yes, Jenna had been the one in the wrong.
But never let it be said that Nate didn’t go after what he wanted.
He hopped in his truck and drove through town. The diner was on the opposite end of where his restaurant was.
Nate didn’t go straight to her place. Instead, he stopped at the apartment first. He ran inside, opened his closet, and fished for a shoebox that was wedged behind some old work boots. He yanked it open and rummaged through the folded notes, faded photos, and other crap that he hadn’t had the heart to throw away.
There it was. One of the last notes that folded open. A note where Jenna had told him that she loved him, that she would love him forever.
He put the shoebox down and flipped the lid onto it, not waiting to see if it landed properly or fell off again. He hurried out of the apartment and jumped into his truck. He drove the short distance to Carol’s house, his mind spinning, palms sweaty. Either this was going to work, or it wasn’t. But he had to shoot his shots.
Nate took two deep breaths before he climbed out of the truck and walked to the front door. Before he reached it, before he could knock, the door swung open and Jenna stood in front of him.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi,” Jenna answered.
They stood there, staring at each other for what felt like an eternity, before Jenna stepped aside and let him into the house.
11
Jenna
Jenna had been at home trying to get forget about Nate. Because he had clearly moved on. And it was what she had wanted, wasn’t it? It was what she had told him to do.
But when she walked into the diner and saw him with someone else, she felt her heart drop to her stomach. Seeing him with someone else had been awful.
And now, he was here. At her mom’s house. She had heard his truck pull up and, even though she told herself it would be better to ignore him, she walked to the door and opened it for him.
“What do you want, Nate?” Jenna asked. She tried to sound hostile, but her voice came out thin and unsure instead. She hated that she couldn’t hide her emotions as well as she wanted to.
“I want to talk to you,” he said. “Just talk, I’m not here to try to cause trouble.”
Then you shouldn’t have come, Jenna thought, but she didn’t say it out loud. Because she was glad that Nate was here. But it was going to cause trouble, she just knew it.
“Look. I don’t know how you could just walk out on me. I don’t know how you could just throw away everything we had and pretend it never happened.”
Jenna shook her head. “That’s not what I did.”
“Just hear me out,” Nate said, interrupting her.
Jenna nodded and closed her mouth, her blue eyes boring into his.
He took a deep breath. “I can’t do this,” he said. “I can’t just pretend like nothing happened. I can’t move on and act like we didn’t have something, something great, something people don’t just find.”
“Nate…” Jenna started. She didn’t know how to react. He was being the person he had always been, the person she had fallen in love with. The person she had abandoned, left behind. And Jenna felt like she was going to cry. If he did anything nice now, she was going to doubt her decision to go back to New York, to leave this place behind a second time, to pretend yet again like it didn’t matter.
But it did, didn’t it? Who was she fooling? She had tried to tell herself for so long that it wasn’t a big deal. But here Nate was, larger than life, attractive, holding all the memories together in his hands, and she couldn’t just pretend that it never happened.
“I still love you, you know,” Nate said.
Jenna’s breath caught in her throat. She shook her head.
“You can’t do that,” she said in a hoarse voice.
“What?”
“You can’t come waltzing in here and declaring your feelings as if it’s not going to have any repercussions.” Jenna fought back her tears. Why did it feel so good for Nate to tell her that he still loved her? Why was it so hard to think that he might have moved on?
“Who was that woman you were on a date with?” Jenna asked, trying to turn the conversation in a different direction. Even if they fought, it would be easier to handle than this.
“She wasn’t you,” Nate said in a gentle voice. He took a step closer to Jenna. “And that’s all you need to know. That is why I am here. Because it doesn’t matter who I go on a date with. If it’s not you, I will never be happy.”
Jenna shook her head, looking away, trying to snap out of this. Because Nate was saying everything she hadn’t realized she wanted to hear. He was making everything difficult. She didn’t know how she was going to go back home if he was being this person, this knight in shining armor who had somehow come to save her, even when she hadn’t realized herself she needed saving.
“You can’t do this to me,” Jenna said again, her voice so thin it was barely a whisper.
Nate didn’t say anything else. What else was there to say? And he didn’t expect her to say anything in return, either. He didn’t stand there, demanding for Jenna to tell him that she loved him in return. Instead, he closed the distance between them, his body pressed against hers, and he cupped her cheeks, tipping her head up so that he could look into her eyes. His eyes were drowning deep, his face so close, lips within kissing distance. As little as a sigh would press them together.
“Not everything is an equation that needs to be solved,” he said in a voice that was deep, husky, and filled with sensuality.
Jenna wanted to argue, but Nate kissed her. And, just like that, every thought left her mind and all that was left was her body against his, the way he touched her, and the way that no matter how hard she had fought to forget about him, fought to move forward with her life, she was home.
The kissing turned urgent almost immediately. Jenna threw her arms around Nate’s neck and kissed him back, opening her mouth so that he could slip his tongue between her lips. She moaned softly as he tasted her, exploring her mouth. His arms were around his waist and he pulled her tightly against him, tight enough that she could feel his erection.
He ground himself against her and she shuddered.
Nate broke the kiss and looked at her with half a frown. “Where is your mom?”
“She’s asleep,” Jenna said. “Some of the medication she has to take makes her exhausted.”
“I don’t want us to bother her.”
Jenna shook her head. “We won’t.”
Nate only hesitated a second before he kissed her again. His hands ran up and down her back, slid onto her ass, squeezed her cheeks. Jenna ran her hands over his arms and shoulders, feeling the familiarity of his form, and yet, how new it was. He had changed in the time since she had seen him. He had grown up.
And he had become even more attractive.
As they kissed, Nate walked Jenna to her bedroom. She stumbled a few times, but his arms were there to catch her every time. As soon as they were in the bedroom, Jenna closed the door. Nate pushed her up ag
ainst it, kissing her hard. She let out a soft moan.
“We’re going to have to be very quiet,” Nate mumbled against her lips.
“I’m sure we can figure something out,” Jenna gasped.
Nate slid his hands onto her breasts, kneading them for a moment before he ran his hand down her stomach and pushed them under the hem of her blouse. He cupped her breast, running his thumbs over her erect nipples, feeling them through the material of her bra.
“God, you feel so good,” Nate muttered.
Jenna only answered with a needy groan. She wanted Nate, she wanted all of him.
Nate pulled up her blouse and Jenna lifted her arms, helping him get rid of it. He tossed it aside and kissed a trail of fire down her neck, making his way onto her chest. He nipped her breast just above the bra and she let out a small yelp, but it was more pleasure than pain. Nate ran his tongue along the edge of the bra and Jenna broke out into goosebumps. While he paid attention to her chest, his arms reached around her back and she arched it away from the door. He unclasped her bra and she let it slide to the floor.
As soon as she was topless, his hands moved up to her breasts and he rolled her nipples between his thumb and forefinger, looking her in the eyes as he did. It was incredible. Nate had always known how to use his hands, but he was in a different class now.
For a moment, Jenna wondered how many times he had done this. But she shoved the thought away as quickly as it had come. She had slept with other men, too. None of that mattered.
Instead, Jenna pulled Nate’s t-shirt over his head and glanced down at his body. His muscles were defined, proof of hard work, and every inch of him was as delicious as she remembered. When she looked up at him again, he chuckled, a glint of mischief in his eyes.
“Do you like what you see?” he asked.
Jenna blushed. Of course she did. She bit her bottom lip and nodded. Why was she so shy around a man that she had been with countless times before? But this was different. This was as if they were getting to know each other all over again. It was like coming together with someone she had known forever and finding someone new at the same time.
