by Piper Rayne
“I’m Lars,” another one said. He was short and very thin. When he talked, he swayed side to side like a small child would do if they were nervous. His hands moved in the front of him like he was wiping them off. He had dark brown hair and baby blue eyes. There was something about him that made me want to be protective right away. It was as if he was a small child trapped in a man’s body and he didn’t know what to do with it.
I looked at Zane and he winked at me. I knew my suspicion of Lars was right and he had some kind of learning disability. It only made him more likeable to me. I smiled back at him and he giggled the laugh of a child. It made me laugh with him. It was the first time I had laughed in over two years and it felt good. I looked around and the rest of them, with the exception of Thijs, were smiling too.
“The one half hiding around the corner,” Zane said and pointed to the sixth man. “That’s Rasmus. He doesn’t speak much to anyone, so don’t think it’s you. He’s painfully shy and he has a good reason to be.”
I looked at Zane quickly and he shook his head to tell me it wasn’t the right time to get into Rasmus’s story. I nodded and turned my attention back to the average height, brown hair, brown eyed man. There was a pain in his eyes I could relate to even if I didn’t know his story. It seemed like we all had our secrets in that little cottage and none of it mattered to the others. They seemed to accept each other for who they were and didn’t expect anything of them they weren’t willing to give.
“Where did Zane find you?” Lars asked stepping closer to us.
“He… he…”
“I found her sleeping in the woods a few miles from here. I took a short cut home and walked right into her, um, living room,” Zane answered for me when I wasn’t sure where to start.
“You’ve been living outside?” Lars asked. His eyes grew bigger with each word he spoke. “It’s getting too cold for that.”
“That’s why I brought her here,” Zane said.
“Good idea. She looks so thin; she could be snapped it two if the wind was strong enough. Dinner will be a while yet. I don’t have any girls’ clothes here, but Jett is about your height and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind lending you something clean to wear if you want to wash up quick. The bathroom is over there,” Akio pointed down the hallway I assumed led to their bedrooms. “It’s not fancy, but it has hot running water. Once you get cleaned up and fed, you will feel better. Please, let us at least do that for you. You’ve done so much for us already.”
The puzzled look on my face made him laugh. All I had done was show up to their house unannounced and drool over the smells of the food they were cooking. A hot shower and clean clothes was asking more than I deserved from them.
“I know what you’re thinking, and you need to stop.” Lars came closer and gently took me by the arm. He moved me away from Zane a little then whispered, “He hasn’t smiled like this in as long as I’ve known him. On the verge of suicide almost daily, you might be saving his life. It wasn’t a short cut he was looking for today. You are our miracle. Let us try and return the favor.”
I turned to look back at Zane and my heart shattered. For the first time I saw the scars that covered his arms and the large one that ran down the length of his right cheek from his eye to his chin. Burn marks the size of the end of a cigar were scattered between the cuts and he had another scar above his left eye.
“None of us have had it easy, but Zane’s had it the worse. It’s taken a lot to get him to where he is, but we’ve done all we can. Every day he came home we took a deep breath but there was always the next day to get through. But you, you might be our miracle.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I nodded to him instead. I would stay the night if they would have me and see where it went from there. I wasn’t going to be the reason Zane lost his life and I couldn’t see the group of young men standing in front of me, all with their own stories of survival, turning me in to my stepmom even if she offered enough money to make it so they never had to work another day in their lives again.
“Good then follow me.”
Lars led me down the narrow hallway and stopped by a closed door. Opening it, he went to the dresser against the back wall and pulled out a pair of grey sweatpants and a grey sweatshirt. He carefully closed the drawer before turning to me. There were two beds in the room, one on each side, and two dressers. One was close to the door and the one Lars had gone into was on the far wall. There was two small nightstands next to each bed with desk lamps on them. One had a torn shade and the other was naked.
“It’s not fancy and probably not what you were used to, but it’s home for us.”
“It’s perfectly cozy,” I said and smiled at him. I wasn’t only saying it to say it. I meant it. Being a stranger off the street, they had made me feel welcomed instantly and their house was more of a home than mine had ever been.
13
Standing in the small bathroom, I let the steam and the hot water of the shower chase the cold from my bones. Feeling it melt away, I started to relax. Muscles I hadn’t felt lose in months were slowly starting to move again. I spent a little extra time washing the dirt out of my still short hair and as it washed down the drain, I let the memory of the past few years go with it.
If the guys in the house had enough strength and courage to put the past in the past and try to live in the moment, then I would do that too while I was with them. I wasn’t sure how long I would stay or how long they would let me, but for the night, I was going to try and feel like a normal human again instead of the unwanted creature my stepmom always made me feel like.
I got out of the shower when I was finally clean and thawed out. I stood in front of the sink and looked at myself in the small mirror they had hanging above it. My eyes were so shallow, they almost vanished in the darkness that surrounded them. My cheek bones protruded from my face and my hair, even though it was still short from her horrible haircut, was thinning from lack of nutrition. I looked down at the rest of me and felt the tears stinging in my eyes. I was nothing more than a walking corpse when Zane found me. No wonder he took such pity on me.
I sighed and continued what I was doing. They would be waiting for me to eat dinner with them and I wasn’t going to be a rude guest. Drying off, I wasn’t fully done when there was a knock on the door.
“Yes?” I asked.
It opened before I had a chance to do anything and there, standing in the doorway with a now red face, was Zane. He looked me up and down before I was able to wrap the towel around myself. I felt a blush wash over me and a new kind of heat take the place of the heat I got from the shower. It was the first time I had been naked in front of anyone other than my mom and Jasmine.
“Sorry, I thought you were done. I didn’t mean to walk in.”
“It’s okay.” There wasn’t a reason to make him leave right away, I was covered, and he had already seen me naked. I would wait until he left to put the clothes on, but for some reason I couldn’t explain, I wasn’t upset he saw me the way he had. I also liked the reaction I got from him.
“I don’t walk in on people. I swear. I wanted to check on you and make sure you were alright. You’ve been in here for a while now. Dinner is almost ready, and I put your seat next to mine.”
“Thank you. I was enjoying the hot water. I didn’t mean to take so long.”
“It’s okay. I wanted to make sure you were alright is all. I was getting worried about you.”
“Zane?” I asked hesitantly.
“Yeah?”
“How long have you lived here? Can I trust you and them?”
“I’ve been here with them for five years.”
“Five years? How old are you?”
“Nineteen.” He hung his head when he said that.
“But then you’ve been on your own since you were thirteen?” I asked shocked.
“No. Since I was twelve. I was on my own for almost a year when Akio found me and brought me in. I’ve been here with him ever since.”
�
��Twelve,” I whispered more to myself than to him.
“Yep.”
“That’s still a baby.”
“How old are you? Like sixteen?” he snarked. His mood shifted from one of concern to one of defense.
“I’m almost eighteen and I didn’t mean anything bad by it. I feel sorry for you.”
“Don’t,” he snapped. “Akio and the others are more family to me than mine ever were and I’m happier now than I was back then.”
“I get that.” I hung my head afraid to look him in the eyes after the reaction I just got. When my stepmom would lose her temper, not looking at her sometimes helped make the punishment not as bad.
He was silent for a moment and I watched his body change from rigid and defensive, to calm and open.
“Sno, I have a feeling our stories aren’t that far off from each other. I’m sorry I snapped at you.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”
“You forgive me?” He hung his head and wouldn’t look me in the eyes. I moved closer to him and put my hand under his chin making him hold it up.
“Yes.”
He slowly moved his head closer to mine and before I knew what was happening, his lips were on mine for my very first kiss. It was soft at first and I welcomed it. I wanted to feel more, to feel him closer to me. I needed him to make me feel like I was worth being touched.
He must have felt the same way because the kisses became more intense the longer they went on. I felt his tongue part my lips and then dance around inside my mouth. Mine returned the tango and we explored each other farther. His hands moved from down at his side to around my waist. Pulling me into him, I gasped when I felt something hard hit me. His soft groan made my body respond and I quickly forgot about anything but him.
I dropped the towel a little when I went to wrap my arms around his neck, and he stopped kissing me to look at the tops of my breasts. Heat was bouncing off me in waves and I was sure he could hear my heart pounding in my chest.
His fingers traced my collar bone before making their way to the back of my neck again. He pulled me in closer than before and the force hurt for a second. It wasn’t that he was trying to hurt me, but I knew he needed to be loved and to feel wanted as bad as I had. We were two drowning souls desperately reaching for anything to hold us up and we happened to find each other.
“Sno, I…” His breathing was so labored he couldn’t finish the sentence, but I was sure it was the same thing I was thinking.
We wanted and needed each other.
Kissing him for the first time, his eyes grew bigger before they closed again, and he submerged himself in the moment. My hands, no longer worried about the towel they had been holding up, moved to hold him as tight as he was holding me.
“Zane, you gonna bring that poor thing back here so I can feed her?” Thijs yelled from down the hall.
“Yeah. Yep…we’ll be right there,” Zane said clearing his throat.
He moved away from me a little and when he did and the coolness of the air seeped in, I remembered I had dropped the towel. Bending down to pick it up and wrap it around me, he put his hand on my arm to stop me.
“One look?” he asked.
I didn’t move so he could drink me in with his eyes. There was a longing in them, and while I had never seen that before, I also felt the same for reasons I couldn’t explain. I had just met him and didn’t know a thing about him, but there was a familiarity about him I couldn’t deny.
“I’ll be right out here when you’re ready.”
“Okay.”
He slowly closed the door and my heart sank when the latch clicked shut. I hurried to get dressed to be back with him.
Putting on the clothes I was given, I had to laugh at myself when they fit over me like a tent in a circus. Before I lost my father, they might have fit. But since I had been at the mercy of a crazed woman for the past two years, I looked like a child trying to play dress up in adult clothes.
Shaking my head, I opened the door and there was Zane. He waited right where he said he would for me. I took his hand, he brought mine to his lips and kissed it softly before leading me to the dining room and the others.
14
They all stopped eating when we entered the room. Having six pairs of strange eyes on me made me more self-conscious than I normally was. Jett, Lars, Bran and Akio all smiled at me. Thijs grumped because he had to wait for us to get out there and Rasmus looked down at his plate of food.
“Sit,” Akio said and stood to pull my chair out.
“Yeah, it’s gonna be cold by the time you get to it,” Thijs grumbled.
“Stop it. Let the girl breathe would ya. Don’t you remember your first night here? We all had to wait for you to get out of that shower too. It’s fine if it isn’t so hot we’re going to burn our mouths. Be nice, or at least as nice as you can,” Jett chastised.
“Sorry,” Thijs mumbled.
“I’m sorry,” I said and put my hand on his arm. “You made an amazing meal and I shouldn’t have taken so long. I’m sorry I made you wait.”
A small, half smile made its way across the left side of his face and I returned it with a full one of my own. When I sat, he handed me a napkin to use and poured a glass of milk for me.
“Thank you,” I said back.
Akio winked at me as he moved back to his seat at the table. Clearing his throat, they all stopped what they were doing and looked at him.
“My best thing of the day was getting an extra slice of chocolate cake for Sandy’s birthday. I haven’t had chocolate cake in years,” Akio said, licking his lips as if he could still taste it.
“My best thing was I didn’t get poked with the sticker bush my hammer fell into,” Bran said, and they all laughed.
“Dork. I’m going to super glue that thing to your hand. Do you ever not drop it?” Akio teased.
“Well…no. No, I guess I don’t,” Bran replied. More laughter from the misfit of men and I found myself laughing too.
“My best thing had to have been the quick dip in the lake on my lunch break. It wasn’t very warm out but pounding nails in the Nelson’s roof was hard work,” Lars added.
“My best thing will be eating this meal,” Thijs said, and Akio growled at him.
“My best thing,” Rasmus said so softly, I had to strain to hear him. “Was the walk home. I found a baby bunny and it let me pet it.”
“My best thing was finding an extra penny on the way to work today. I knew it was going to be a good day then,” Jett said.
“Zane?” Akio asked when he hadn’t spoken up.
“My best thing…was finding you,” he said and looked at me.
Nobody said a word or moved. It was like they were all afraid they would break the spell and Zane would go back to the sad, mopey self he normally was.
“Sno, if you want, you can add yours. You don’t have to though if you don’t want,” Akio said.
“Why do you guys do this?” I asked.
“It helps us to remember we aren’t in the bad places anymore,” Lars answered before anyone else could. He smiled so big for knowing the answer to my question, I felt I had to say something.
“Okay. Well, my best thing was meeting all of you.”
“Can I change mine to that too?” Lars asked.
“Sure, Lars,” Akio said.
“Yeah.” Lars clapped his hands together and bounced in his seat. He looked all man, but he behaved like a child. It made me want to protect him from the world immediately.
“Can we please eat now? That will be my thankful thing next,” Thijs whined.
“Yes. Eat,” Akio said.
All I heard after was silverware clanking against porcelain plates as they chewed loudly and drank even louder. I looked from one to the next and tried not to show the shock I was feeling at how quickly they turned into animals when the food was placed in front of them.
“Everything alright?” Zane asked. “You haven’t touched a thi
ng yet.”
“Yes, just fine.”
I picked up the fork and knife. Carefully, and quietly, I cut off a piece of meat and placed it in my mouth. The flavors erupted and I could taste it all. Every spice he used played off the next and the medley in my mouth was better than anything I had ever tasted before. There was a smokiness to it that added to the apple and hickory flavor. It was tender and juicy without an ounce of gristle anywhere on it.
“Thijs, this is amazing,” I said with my mouth still full. They all laughed at the sight of the tiny little nothing with a mouthful of food trying to talk.
“Glad you like it. There’s plenty, so help yourself to more if you want it.”
“Thank you.”
“Sno, I have the only solo room in the house, so tonight you’ll take my bed. If you want to stay longer, we will figure out a new living situation. You should have your own space with all of us men around.”
“I can’t take your room, Akio. I can sleep on the couch.”
“No,” Lars screamed.
I jumped back in my chair and dropped my fork. The loud noise startled me again.
“It’s okay, Lars. Sno, you are not sleeping on that old ratty thing. You will take my room and that’s final. We have work tomorrow but then have the next two days off. If you like it here, we can build you your own room off the back side of the house. It will only take a few days to do. We can work on another bathroom after that, but for the time being, a room for you is first,” Akio said.
“I can’t take more from you guys.”
“You’re not,” Zane said and put his hand over mine. “We’re offering it. It’s what we’ve done for every one of us when we came in. Lars and Rasmus share a room because it helps Lars sleep. I share a room with Jett because he’s my best friend. Bran shares a room with Thijs because he’s the only one who can tolerate him.”
“Hey,” Thijs yelled.
“I’m kidding. Those two are close like I am with Jett. It works for us, so we keep it that way. Building you a room would be nothing for us to do.”
